Chapter Text
"160. What were you before?" She asked, writing the weight on her clipboard. "145." She nodded a bit, "15 pounds... maybe a bit over the mark but you're pretty skinny regardless so it will probably do you some good." Ed glared at Oswald, the man avoiding his gaze, knowing exactly what he was angry about. He was fat! Oswald lied to him!
"You said you were 18 weeks?" She asked, moving up his shirt and feeling at his stomach. "Yes. I'm sure." She nodded and hummed to herself, taking out measuring tape and measuring around and from top to bottom. "Are you sure? Couldn't have been earlier?" Ed frowned and shook his head, "no, that was the first time I had had... relations in months." She nodded a bit, writing it down in her chart. "Just making sure. Your measurements are a bit larger than what we'd expect. Probably just some extra water weight, thinner mothers tend to carry more water to support the baby." She explained, plugging in the ultrasound machine.
As if Ed didn't already feel huge, now he literally had proof. He unbuttoned his pants as instructed and shivered a bit as the gel was spread over his stomach. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to look, but the screen was turned away from him anyways. "Ah! Just as I thought." She said with a broad smile, pressing the wand into his stomach a bit more and turning the cart around. "Baby 1 and Baby 2." She said, pointing at the two different blobs on the screen, though the features slowly revealed themselves as a head and body and legs.
"Twins?" Ed asked, unable to take his eyes off the screen or even blink. "Yes! Congratulations you two." She flipped a few switches and both heartbeats suddenly came through, bumping fast and just out of sync enough to make out two beats. "Do you want to know the sex?" They both nodded, still a bit speechless. "Well baby A is a girl and baby b... can't quite make it out." She said, moving the wand around to get a better angle. "Well it seems like baby B is being very modest and won't show us, sorry." "Thats okay." Ed croaked out, smiling shakily and feeling the tears slowly drip out, looking over at Oswald who was crying as well.
"Let me get some photos printed for you two before you leave." She said, hitting a few more buttons and then turning the screen off, both of the men shaken out of their trance.
Once they were in the car, Ed couldn't stop staring down at the little babies in the picture. He didn't like how real everything just got. "People, two little people." He said, still trying to make sense of it. "A girl, and a mystery." Oswald added, putting an arm around his waist. "A riddle, if you will." Ed joked, flashing a grin. "Twins... are you sure you want to stay at work? People won't think you're weak, there's two babies inside you."
Ed sighed and pressed a hand on the bump, "I'm going insane at the house Oswald. I swear I'll limit my activities and eat lunch..." "I know... You can come back to work Monday, but if anything happens I'm sending you home until you have the babies." Ed rolled his eyes a bit, realistically both of them knew Oswald couldn't keep Ed from doing what he wanted, but now he had a new vigor to take care of himself and protect these little things in him.
His return had gone relatively smoothly after getting some new suits tailored (with a lot of elastic) and Oswald secretly telling the staff to come to him with issues and not Ed.
When he entered his fifth month a few weeks later, he was feeling even better, finally feeling like he had his regular energy back. As he walked into Oswald's office, he stopped in his tracks, frowning and looking down at the bump. The older man jumped up and hobbled over quickly, nervous at his partner's behavior. "Ed what-" he placed a concerned hand on the bump and he felt it, the quick pushing at the skin from the inside.
"Did they just?" Ed nodded and tried to cover his smile with his hand, but Oswald quickly removed it to kiss him, pushing him into his chair and kneeling in front of him, feeling two different thumps happen on both sides, presumably from both babies. They both stayed there for a few minutes, consumed by the first real evidence of their babies' personhood.
The door squeaked open and both men looked up, Jim Gordon standing there with an eyebrow raised, "found the leader of that new smuggling ring, thought you should know.." he said awkwardly, Oswald quickly standing up and walking over, Ed trying to get out of the plush chair and struggling somewhat. "Thank you Jim, now if you don't mind." He said tensely, wanting to return to fawning over his fiancé.
He gave an awkward smile goodbye as he left, Ed finally managing to stand out of the chair. "Dear god, he saw me floundering around like a turtle on their back... I have officially lost all intimidation." He said with a huff, heading out of the office before Oswald grabbed his arm, kissing him softly to cool him off. "The only thing that deserves your attention is the babies, not Gordon." He reminded him, Ed nodding a little. He already ruined the man's life once, twice would be overkill.
As he got his regular energy back, and learned how to deal with everything, things remained relatively normal. Work was so-so, and he could tell that Oswald was getting bored. "I like the power... but it doesn't serve a purpose." He huffed in bed one evening, Ed wiggling around and trying to find a comfortable position, the bump getting too heavy to lay on his back.
"I don't think anyone would be surprised if you quit. The next election is years away, and your skills just aren't being used." Oswald nodded a bit, "maybe I'll say I'm leaving to spend more time with family. It's partially honest." Ed shrugged a bit and laid on his side, looking at his partner. "I'll go along with whatever you're planning." He replied tiredly, somewhat trying to end the conversation so he could sleep, unfortunately Oswald continued to think out loud for most of the night.
They had spent a few weeks together securing their foothold in Gotham's underworld before announcing his resignation, as well as plans for a new nightclub. Most things came full circle after all.
There was a lot of planning to be done, and as news about the twins spread further, questions about names and the nursery were coming up more and more.
The nursery had been painted but empty, and Ed quickly ordered that they repaint the room a different color, because the shade of green was wrong and entirely unsuitable for their children.
Oswald and Ed were shocked at how much Ed sunk himself into the designing process, it was his one job now after all. He never much cared for decoration when he lived on his own, but he wanted his babies to have the ideal room to grow up in. Once the room was repainted, they ordered the furniture and some builders, needing two of everything of course. Ed tried to stay on the cheaper side but Oswald would not hear it- finally his money could go towards something that mattered.
By the time Ed had reached his six month it was complete, though a bit barren of toys and clothes, which they could push off. He slowly sat down in the rocking chair, picturing one child on each leg as he read them stories, he couldn't wait. He smiled and tried to push himself out of the chair, but it was a bit too low to the ground. After a few attempts he caught his breath and sighed in defeat, calling out for Oswald.
After a few minutes he came in, frantic and panicked. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" He asked, hobbling over. "I can't get out of the chair." He admitted, avoiding his eyes. The shorter man chuckled a little bit and nodded, grabbing his hands and pulling him to his feet. "Thank you." Ed mumbled, pushing up his glasses and blushing. "It's fine. It'd have to happen at some point. It's not the end of the world to need help." "Easy for you to say if you were in my position you would've sat there all day before asking for help." He huffed.
"Ah well, that might be true. But I'll always be happy to help you." He said with a soft kiss on the cheek. Safe to say, Oswald hadn't seen the half of it.
Having Ed out of work was a bit dangerous, because he would always find a way to keep himself busy. There were only so many riddles he could write before he got bored. He tried to get people to play along but they were never very willing.
He couldn't exactly go back to his old ways of killing time, as much as he hated to admit it he was far too incapacitated. Oswald tried to keep him busy with record keeping and other underworld matters, but it wasn't holding his interest. Most of the time he would just go back to his baby names list, picking off the ones he didn't like, hoping he would end up with two. Statistically it was more likely that it was two girls, so he only had a few boy names on the side.
"Y'know Nygma, you might want to start a betting ring, baby names, weight, sex, could be quite profitable." Barbara brought up, bringing over two drinks and a water, slipping into the booth. "I'd rather not make even more of a spectacle of myself than I already have." Ed grumbled into his water, Penguin shaking his head, "no it could be a great idea! We are the Kings of Gotham after all, people care and we can make good money."
Ed gave him a nervous look, sighing and throwing up a hand. "Sure, whatever, don't care..." "aww is Eddie depressed?" He growled at her a bit, "no I am not, I'm just not thrilled about the idea." "Of course you are, all cooped up in that mansion while two beings suck the life out of you. You've been pouty all night don't deny it." She retorted, raising an eyebrow. "You need some fun."
He sighed, "maybe you're right, but it's not like I can do much. Torturing men that have been brought to me on a platter isn't exactly thrilling." Oswald frowned, he was doing his best, but he knew Ed needed more. "I know it sucks but it's just a few more months, and my club is opening soon that should be fun."
Ed tried to seem happy, but Barbara was right. He was depressed and he didn't see much of a way out of it until the babies were born. "I have an idea! Riddle night, at your club. Get it right, get a prize, get it wrong..." she trailed off, a small smile on her face. Ed perked up, "That's not a bad idea Barbara... what do you say?" He asked Oswald, grabbing his hand. "As Long As you don't overwork yourself I don't see the issue."
Once the club was ready to open a few weeks later, plans for the large grand opening were underway. Oswald never did anything quietly after all. Ed helped him take the promotional pictures and did most of the guest list, kept to sitting-friendly tasks. Unfortunately, he was barely able to fit into the booth, demanding Oswald unscrew it from the floor so he could push it back.
The twins were definitely taking a toll on his body, more so than before, because now they were big and moving and kicking, and he was still constantly hungry. Oswald walked over and slid into the booth, pecking his cheek, "how are my three troublemakers?" "Well two of them are killing the first one so not great." Ed mumbled, laying his head in his hand. "I can't sleep, they're constantly moving, I can't get up but I can't sit down for more than three minutes I-" he stopped himself, turning away because he wouldn't let himself get worked up in public.
"Do you want a ride home?" He asked softly, holding his free hand. "No, he wants to bitch." Barbara said with a loud scoff, slipping into the booth. "He needs to vent and complain about all the crappy stuff he's going through." She continued, looking to Ed who looked down but noticeably nodded. "Pengy go do whatever it is you do and leave him with me." She assured, waving him off.
"So, what sucks, cankles, backache what?" She asked, taking another sip of her drink. "It sucks because I want a drink and I can't have one but if anyone deserves it it's me." He replied snidely, taking a sip of his water. "It sucks because even though these things are already huge I'm hungry all the time but I can't go waddling off to the grocery store in the middle of the night and I can't very well ask anyone else. I can't sleep through the night at all anymore because I have to use the bathroom every five minutes and they're nocturnal."
He leaned forward onto his hands and sighed pitifully. "I just want it to be over." "It's just a few more weeks Eddie, you can count down the days. Twins usually come early anyways." "They do?" He asked with a frown. "Well there's less space, the body can only take so much." Ed nodded and swallowed nervously. "As much as I want them out I'm not exactly thrilled about the process of getting them out." He explained, nervously fiddling with his pen on the table. "Well you've probably had your fair share of cramps and practice contractions, they can't be that much worse."
Ed nodded again though he didn't really believe her. Those pains were awful but he knew they could be worse. "Thank you Barbara, that definitely helped." He said, briskly returning to his work.
Opening night was... stressful. They both had new suits tailored, Ed throughly embarrassed by how big his jacket was. Oswald made sure Ed stayed sat at the booth until they opened when he actually would have to walk around for an hour.
As the doors opened, Oswald helped him to his feet and gave him a quick kiss for morale, greeting everyone as they came in one by one. After the first thirty people had arrived, Ed's back was killing him, and he was doing his best to try and support it and rub it discreetly, not wanting to seem weak in front of the best of Gotham's underworld. After the room had filled out with people, Ed quickly retreated to the booth, pressing his hands into his back and trying to lessen the pain.
Unfortunately being sat down wasn't seen as an exclusionary move, and he unfortunately wasn't done talking to people for the night. People tried to get clues on baby names for the betting ring, asking him about the babies and Oswald, far too personal for his taste. Some even tried to touch his stomach, and he did not hesitate to twist their arm half way out of their sockets. Moving through the party to get to the bathroom wasn't exactly fun either. People were far too close and the air was hot. Once he squeezed into the bathroom he caught his breath, fixing himself up a bit in the mirror and using the bathroom.
On his way back through the party he got pulled over by Oswald. He asked something but the music was too loud to hear. Ed squinted and frowned as he was shoved by a few passerby's. This was a lot. He felt his heart rate pick up and the babies start to kick, Ed making a quick decision and shoving his way through the crowd trying to find the door. He just needed air.
After running/waddling into the hallway, he leaned up against the wall, catching his breath and groaning as his stomach cramped up, probably from the quick movement. "Come on!" He hissed, trying to breath through it. Oswald soon came through the doors, looking him up and down. "Are you okay?" "Too much." He groaned, waving him away. "What's wrong?" Ed huffed and just grabbed his hand, squeezing it until the cramping subsided. "Too much, for all of us." He breathed out, gesturing to the club. "Well you've already said hi, let's get you home." Oswald said softly, gesturing to Gabe and telling him to take Ed home.
He softly ran his hands up and down his back, Ed sighing, "I feel awful." He mumbled, Oswald shushing him. "It'll be fine. No one will judge you." He nodded and sniffled, slowly walking to the car with Gabe.
Oswald was nervous about letting him go through with the Riddle Night plan, especially after opening night. Ed tried to calm his fears before resorting to begging, he needed this one good thing before the babies came.
He worked all week on the riddles, getting a new suit jacket made for the evening, and even made the punishment wheel himself. It wasn't horribly violent, not that their audience cared much. They were Narrowsfolk, and the reward was worth the risk for them.
On Friday morning, Ed woke up with the same familiar pressing at his throat, the digging nausea. He couldn't get up fast enough so he threw up in the small trash can by the bed, groaning and sipping from his nightstand water.
He grabbed the bed post and pulled himself to his feet, stumbling a bit, his center of gravity off. Looking down from above the large bump looked about the same, but as he awkwardly walked to the bathroom, it was clear they had shifted, the bump rounder and lower, making it awkward to walk around and get ready. He put on some normal clothes for the day, struggling a bit with his pants as the babies pressed out wider on his hips.
He sat down back on the bed, groaning as his back flared up, the tense pain spreading up his spine. Once Oswald was up he rubbed the offending muscle for a bit but it didn't help much. His hands were kneading into it for most of the morning. He managed to find a somewhat comfortable position at his desk, leaning forward with the bump between his legs, but after awhile it seemed to just drag the flare ups into his stomach, the bottom and sides beginning to flare up with pain along with his back.
Of course, the set wouldn't be complete without the babies kicking into his ribs and pushing their head up against his bladder, almost making him soil himself at the kitchen counter after a particularly offending kick. As the babies squirmed and wiggled and the back pain persisted, spreading into his stomach, Ed was desperate. He squirmed in his desk chair, whining and feeling a bit childish, trying to think of some way to help.
He eventually was able to get up and boil some water for a hot water bottle, leaning on the counter as his back flared up again, slowly shifting his hips from side to side, hand digging into his back. Olga walked in and frowned, patting his shoulder. "What's matter?" She asked, looking for something around the kitchen to help. "Back pain, it's fine I'm making a water bottle." He explained, eyes still pinched closed.
She frowned skeptically, "Baby's coming?" "What? No! No, shh, you'll freak out Oswald." He snapped, "it's just some back pain, I'll be fine."
Once the water was boiling he poured it into the bottle, sitting in the large plush chair in the living room and putting it on his back. He moved it a few times, trying to get it to soothe all the offending muscles. It was difficult to position as the flare ups were slowly moving into his belly, him kicking his legs and pressing the pad against the bottom of his stomach as it seized up, spreading around. Dammit that one was awful.
Looking at the clock, he called out for some help getting out of the chair, walking upstairs with Oswald so he could shower and get ready. The warm water directly on his skin helped somewhat, but he still had two flare ups in the shower. As he stared at himself and the bump in the mirror, he ran his hand over it. It was more of a sphere than it had been, and lower like he thought. He winced as the babies squirmed around a bit, one of them pressing up uncomfortably on his pelvis, forcing him to take a wide stance when walking.
As he looked at the glittery suit, he wondered if he wanted to cancel, because he honestly just wanted to lay in bed with ice cream. At the same time, he had worked so hard, and they didn't have another week to wait around. The babies would be here any day, and if these pains got more regular they could be here tomorrow.
Ed swallowed nervously and shook those thoughts away, putting on the new suit, which was still too tight despite just being measured a few days ago. Oswald came upstairs to fetch him, smiling and kissing his cheek. "You look perfect, even if this..." he gestured to the very sparkly jacket, "is a lot." He finished with a laugh.
The shorter man helped him down the stairs and into the car, thankfully not commenting on the heavy waddle. Ed slid into the car and took a deep breath as the pain started up, this one almost entirely centralized in his stomach. He groaned and rubbed at the underside, Oswald quickly growing concerned. "Just practice." Ed breathed, squeezing his hand. "Promise..."
Oswald nodded nervously since he wasn't about to argue when his partner was in pain, just opening a cold water bottle and rubbing up and down his back.
By the time they reached the club, Ed seemed to be more excited, and Oswald relaxed. He was fine. The club was still a lot for him, so he just mainly sat in his booth, away from people so he could deal with this pain in private. "Eddie! It's the big night!" Barbara squealed, sliding in the booth along with Tabitha and Butch, Victor Zsasz sliding in on his other side. He was surrounded and hot and bloated and ugh. People. "Yeah, big night." He said with a slight smile, drinking his water and just trying to breath through the pain with a solid face.
"What are you gonna ask?" Tabitha asked, frowning as Ed pressed his chin to his chest and held up a finger, trying to breathe through his nose and get through it. "Oh shit." Tabs said, scanning him up and down. "What? I'm fine." Ed quipped back, catching his breath and letting out a bit of a groan. "Zsasz get Penguin." She ordered, Ed gripping Victor tight so he couldn't move. "I am fine, just practice, no need to overreact and get him to cancel everything."
Barbara frowned, "it's your funeral, I think a live birth on stage would be exciting!" She said, patting his shoulder. "I'm not having them any time soon, relax." He insisted, though he knew he was only trying to convince himself.
The clock was moving at half speed, having to wait around for two hours before he could start his show, and the pains were coming quicker and stronger. As he hid by the wings, groaning and gripping at a table, he had resigned that he was in labor. The contractions were all in his stomach now and he was able to time them. 9 minutes apart. Hour long set... if he timed it when no one was looking at him... He sat down on a stool to think and immediately stood up again, the pain in his hips were way worse than in his feet, he'd just stand.
After quietly groaning and breathing through the contraction, he was pointed out on stage. Ed quickly regained composure and wiped at his forehead, placing his new hat on and spinning the cane. "Welcome. Ladies, Gentlemen, Others, to the Riddle Factory!" He announced, the lights coming up on him, the wheel and his three participants. "What time is it?" He shouted out to the audience, hearing an unbelievably satisfying "Riddle Time!" chanted back at him.
"The rules are very simple- I am the Riddler, I ask a riddle. If they get it right, they ask me a riddle- if they stump me, they get this cold hard cash. If they answer wrong..." He gestured to the large wheel.
"As I am of course in a delicate state, all punishments will be inflicted by our own Tabitha Galavan." She gave a gentle wave to the audience and their three players. "Let's start shall we. Easy, what's green and red and goes round and round?" Riddler scanned three audience for knowledgeable faces, "30 seconds."
The man was clearly confident, "duh, a traffic light." The host smiled slowly, looking to Tabitha, holding his fist in the air before giving a thumbs down to a loud buzzer, "oh dear, I'm afraid our answer was Frog In a Blender... and on our first go too." He said with a sarcastic click of the tongue. "Oh well." He said, spinning the wheel and smiled as it landed on Nail Off. "Oh my favorite. See here Ms. Tabitha will remove your fingernail, with a nail!" He said, gesturing for the spotlight to move over to them as the gruesome deed was done.
Using the darkness of the stage, he faced away from the audience and tried to breathe through the contraction, but it wasn't helping like all of those dumb books said it would. A few minutes later, the deed was done, but that left him less time to ask the riddle and get the blackout- this wasn't timed very well. Thankfully the next contestant got the answer wrong too. Absolutely pathetic.
"Last one left, let's see how far you get hmm?" As the pain rose up in his stomach, he tried to keep his voice from sounding as strained as it felt. "I happen only once yet I'm celebrated every year. My creator is not celebrated but rather the product, what am I?" He asked, flipping the sand timer and desperately trying to breathe through it, almost panting. It was clear he wasn't doing well, as hard as he played it off.
"Uhh," came the nervous voice of the participant, "uhh... Birthdays! Birthdays!" He called out, Ed smiling wide. "Yes! Correct!" He shouted back, face screwing up as a weird sensation tensed in his stomach, soon feeling water gushing down his legs and onto the floor. "Speaking of birthdays.." he said with a weak laugh, freezing and not entirely sure what to do. Oswald rushed to the stage as fast as he could, but not before the worst contraction yet ripped through him and he fell onto his knees, screaming out.
The crowd gasped and whispered even more, Oswald and Tabitha kneeling next to him and helping him through it. As it passed Butch pulled him to his feet, Oswald helping him out of the club and to the elevator. "Why didn't you say anything?" He asked, thinking back to the numerous indicators. "I didn't want the show to be cancelled." He admitted, "I just wanted one thing before they came."
On his way out of the elevator another contraction squeezed around him, Gabe letting out a sigh. "If he has to walk all the way to the car he's never getting there." He said succinctly before scooping Ed up like a stack of newspapers and carrying him out to the car, Oswald blushing in a jealous and ashamed way, unable to be a proper father, at least in the strength department.
Once Ed was carefully placed in the backseat, Oswald laying him down on top of him so he could hold him for support, screaming at Gabe to drive. As Ed fully processed what was going on, they were going to the hospital, he was having their babies tonight and oh fuck- He screamed out as the pain returned, longer and stronger every time. "I can't- I can't-" he cried out, shaking his head.
Oswald gently pet his hair back, kissing his forehead, "if there is anyone who can do this it's you. I know it's scary but in a few hours it will all be over and they'll be in our arms." Ed did his best to think of that, the future, after this was over, but the image was getting fuzzier with each contraction and each pothole.
Eventually Oswald's calming words were getting on his damn nerves. "Just-" he coughed as Ed grabbed him by the tie. "Don't you dare tell me what to think or how to breathe so help me god I will throw you out of this car." He growled, Oswald nodding quickly and gasping as Ed let go. "God... always the neck..." he wheezed, Ed slapping his arm a bit and grabbing it in desperation.
As Gabe ripped around the corner, the familiar red and blue lights turn on and Gabe sighed, jerking the car into an alley to lose the cop. "What the hell Gabe?!" Ed shouted, almost falling off the car seats. "Sorry, cop tailing us. You did tell me to drive fast sir." Oswald let out a frustrated shout-growl, looking out the back window. Now it was two cop cars and a familiar brown sedan. "Oh great, now you're raising attention. Just get to the hospital."
Gabe had to admit, the mix of screaming and sirens was making it a bit hard to focus, Ed definitely had a set of lungs for a typically quiet man. As he got onto the major road, the cop cars closed in, shooting out the back tire, forcing Gabe to pull over.
"Sir- oh dear..." Oswald stepped out of the car, closing the door and glaring at the officer, "I swear to god I will have you fired this instant! Do you know who I am? That idiotic look on your face says you do!" "Hey! What's going on here!" Oswald tensed in disgust at Gordons gruff shout, prepared to unleash hell. "One of your dumb sheep tried to pull us over and shot out our tire!" "Well they were speeding I didn't know it was them-" the young officer defended.
Jim held his hands up to shut them up and then an awful scream came from the car, Gordon rushing over, more so expecting to see a torture victim and not Ed laboring in the backseat. "Shit..." he whispered. Ed panted as the pain let up, turning his head and glaring at Jim. "Great, Just the man I wanted to see on this special day..." he droned. "Now as a citizen of Gotham you've vowed to protect, GET ME TO A FUCKING HOSPITAL!" He screamed, trying to move and get out of the car.
"Jim what's- oh lord." Lee began, brain quickly taking in what she was seeing. "Can you walk?" She asked rather unsympathetically. Ed nodded a little bit, trying to stand from the car with help from Gordon, letting out a low groan as his knees buckled. "Oswald- Oswald the babies are coming." He blurted out in a panic. "I know darling we're going to get you to a car and to the hospi-" "No, like now, no time." He squeaked out, falling on his knees to the pavement as the pain tore through, and he felt the head between his pelvis.
He tried to scream but he was losing his voice, Lee quickly ordering the two strongmen to put him back in the car after the contraction, and began to strip him. "What are you doing?!" He asked in a panic, feeling the cool air hit his legs. "Baby's coming right? Where do you think they leave?" She snapped back, still not fond of him as a person, a murderer, but he was still a patient.
The two other cops ran to get supplies from their cars, putting up a blanket over Lee and Ed, Oswald sitting in the drivers seat to hold his hand. "Okay, pushing time." She said, ducking beneath the well placed suit jacket to see. Ed leaned forward as he pushed, his attention going from the pain of the contraction to the sensation of the baby passing through him. As his ears stopped ringing he took in Lee saying she saw the head already, Ed nodding a little.
He had read about the ring of fire in books, but he really couldn't have pictured this. He screamed out desperately, tears streaming down his face and almost breaking Oswald's hand. "Okay, we have the head, just the shoulders now. Don’t Push, we have to wait for the baby to turn.”
And turn it did, Ed couldn’t even describe it it felt so weird, “Okay, now some last few push- oh no here they come." She called out, the baby quiet for a moment before letting out a soft wail, Lee quickly wiping them clean and wrapping them in a blanket, handing them to Oswald. "Baby girl." She said with a smile, Ed crying and laughing a bit, reaching for her before the next contraction came just as fast.
"Oh god, what-" "it's twins." Oswald said, "thought it was in the papers or something." He shrugged away, trying to spread his attention between his spouse and their new daughter.
The second baby, though it took a bit longer, was not hesitating either, being born just a few minutes later. "A boy! Girl and a boy." Lee said, smiling and wrapping up the screaming, wiggling creature. Ed gasped with relief, instantly reaching out for him despite his exhaustion. "Hello there." He said, grinning ear to ear and gently bouncing the tiny thing into a calmer state. A few minutes later, after passing the placenta and cutting the cords, the ambulance showed up.
Getting out of the car was a painful nightmare, everything about this day had been a painful nightmare. Ed held the small girl and boy in his arms, taking in all of their features, cooking up the perfect names. "Anne Nomaly Cobblepot." He said softly, Oswald beaming up at him from the awkward bench in the ambulance. "I love it. And her brother?" "Patrick Culiar Copplepot." He replied, gently playing with the tufts of baby hair. "No Nygma?" "Psh.. Nygma's not a real last name anyway. Left home, made it up. You have a better family line anyway." He explained with a shrug.
Once they were settled in the hospital bed, everyone else had gotten there before them, and here they were, rolling in with the babies. "What?" Barbara bluntly asked, tilting her head. "They were a bit impatient. Couldn't wait for me to get out of the car and to the hospital... no thanks to the GCPD." "We got pulled over for speeding and Ed had them in the car." Oswald summarized quickly to get everyone up to speed, inviting them to come look at the actual babies.
For at least a few minutes, Gotham's most notorious criminals did nothing but coo and gush over the next generation of Gotham's Underworld's Royal Family.