Chapter Text
“What do you mean you don’t want to be friends anymore ?”
Jungkook couldn’t bring himself to meet his best friend’s — now former best friend’s — confused gaze. He ground his teeth together, glaring at the wall behind Taehyung, nails leaving crescent marks hidden in his clenched fists.
“Precisely what I just said.”
Taehyung chuckled in disbelief. “Jungkook, we’re not in kindergarten anymore. I know we became fast friends after I gave you my bunny plushie when you couldn’t sleep during nap time, but surely a twenty-year-old relationship can’t be broken that easily?”
Definitely not easily, but it had to be broken.
“Did I do something wrong? I know I was pretty drunk yesterday, but it was your birthday , and you were even more drunk than I was. I thought we had fun?” Taehyung desperately tried to catch the other’s eyes.
Jungkook sighed frustratedly. “I don’t care if you were drunk, hyung. We’re not friends anymore. I don’t care .”
When Jungkook dared to raise his head, his heart broke at the sight of Taehyung looking so utterly hurt and lost.
He had to do this. Hurting him now would at least drive him away. Maybe it would prevent whatever tragedy Fate had planned for them from happening.
Because Taehyung was his enemy.
Just a few hours ago, still hammered out of his mind, Jungkook had watched in a daze as his boyfriend’s name had appeared on his right wrist — where his soulmate’s name had been supposed to appear three years ago. Unfortunately, his relief had been short-lived, as he had watched with horror a second name appear on his left wrist—
Taehyung’s.
Taehyung, who had been his inseparable partner in crime for the past twenty years.
Taehyung, who had never failed to turn so many chapters of his life into unforgettable adventures.
Taehyung, with whom he had fought countless times — sometimes for something as trivial as which movie they would watch on their weekly movie nights, and sometimes for something as significant as an occasional divergence between their mindsets and outlooks on life.
Taehyung, his equal, who he had always thought would remain by his side, no matter what.
And maybe he would have been, had Jungkook not discovered, albeit a little too late, that they were actually enemies.
Because Taehyung had to be his enemy. There was no way his sweet, attentioned, devoted boyfriend of two years Haneul was not his soulmate. The fact that Haneul was also Markless did not help but… There was no way.
Right?
Taehyung started pleading, growing more and more panicked by Jungkook’s apparent aloofness. “I just want to understand what made you upset with me, Kookie. I swear I will try to be better if I did something wrong, you know I would, for you I would—”
“I’m not Markless anymore. I have a soulmate. And it’s Haneul.”
Without another word, Jungkook rolled up his right sleeve, revealing Haneul’s name delicately engraved on his wrist.
After a stunned moment of silence, Taehyung muttered quietly, “And what does that have to do with our friendship?”
Nothing, yet everything.
“Is it because I’m Markless and you’re not anymore? Are you ashamed of me?”
Jungkook would find time later to hate himself for what he was about to say.
“Maybe,” he replied in a faint whisper, so quiet it shattered the silence as though he had been screaming.
In one single word, he managed to make Taehyung’s confidence crumble to the ground, burying it once again underneath his deep-rooted insecurities. That same confidence Jungkook had spent hours and days and months helping Taehyung build.
Yet, Jungkook broke it — perhaps along with a piece of Taehyung’s heart.
The dumbfounded look on Taehyung’s face was then replaced by raw pain, before slowly morphing into rage and betrayal.
Head shaking from side to side as though in denial of what was happening, Taehyung spat out, “I don’t know what angers me the most: the fact that I considered you my best friend, or the fact that I wasted the past twenty years of my life spending them by your side.”
On that day, and on the day onwards, no one ever questioned why Jungkook wore long-sleeves even on the warmest summer days. Or why he wore a ridiculously big watch on his left wrist.
Jungkook couldn’t help but think that had they still been friends, Taehyung would have asked why.
But they were not friends.
Not anymore.
***
Following that day, they both found that hating on each other was much easier than wisely ignoring the other's presence.
The fact that they both worked at the same tv newsroom did not work in their co-workers’ favor — or their own, for that matter.
Taehyung had graduated two years before Jungkook from the same college, with a bachelor's degree in journalism. Thanks to his top grades and the obvious potential shining from him, he had immediately found work as a news reporter for the popular national tv news program, Serendipity News.
When Taehyung had started working at the age of 22, Jungkook had been an envious 20-year-old junior college student. Especially after finding out that he was Markless, he had been convinced that no one would ever accept nor understand him, except for his childhood best friend Taehyung. And while Taehyung had quickly become incredibly busy, he had always made sure to clear out his schedule whenever he could to spend some quality time with the attention craving boy.
Making good use of his charming looks, his cool stage presence and his sharp yet eloquent communication skills, Taehyung had quickly climbed up the career ladder in the span of three years. At the young age of 25, he was now Serendipity News' most renowned and highly-respected news anchor.
Jungkook, now a fresh 23-year-old graduate holding the same bachelor's degree in journalism, had also joined Serendipity News — but as a news writer. While the fact that his former best friend and current enemy worked there as well was indeed a minor inconvenience, Jungkook had always been ambitious, with high expectations of himself — and Serendipity News was simply the best of the best. He would not self-sabotage his career for a guy.
News writing felt rewarding. He had always been better at expressing himself on paper rather than at delivering spontaneous, eloquent speeches — something Taehyung infuriatingly excelled in. Why would he want to be put on the spot when he had his amazing editing skills?
Jungkook would have felt absolutely content with his job, had it not included outright collaborating with Taehyung. Indeed, as a news writer, his job was to produce content, create and edit scripts—
For anchors.
For Taehyung .
Everyone in the newsroom knew of the strained relationship between the two — although no one had ever dared to ask specific questions, out of fear that it would land them in a tight spot, forced to take sides. They all knew to stay clear of the main room whenever Jungkook and Taehyung had to work with each other.
"That's such an ugly, horrendous way to put it."
"Yeah? Then what does your oh so brilliant mind suggest, Jeon Jungkook?"
The writer sputtered. "Well, I don't know... I have to think about it! Good things take time. I just know that your sentence sounds horrible."
Taehyung sneered. "That's too bad, because in case your unprofessional ass wasn't aware, we need this script finalised and ready in about—" he glanced at his Cartier watch, one eyebrow raised, "fifteen minutes. Can't you work under a little pressure, writer Jeon?"
Said writer was now glaring at the other with all his might, trying his best to hide his discomposure, feeling highly insulted.
"Well maybe if you got the fuck out of this room, the air would become less polluted and I could actually get my more than competent brain to work," he managed to grit out.
Taehyung's smirk only widened. "Why, do I intimidate you?"
The writer scoffed indignantly. "Get off your high horse and learn the difference between intimidation and severe annoyance , asshole."
Taehyung's smirk didn't falter. And yet, Jungkook felt the anchor’s intense stare remain on him for a while, as if trying to read him, just like he easily read out his news scripts on national television.
Jungkook, on the other hand, didn't find it in him to make prolonged eye-contact with Taehyung. He was no open book, but his defences could only stay put for so long.
Needless to say, the script was eventually submitted extremely last minute.
***
As much as Jungkook loved his work, clocking out of office and going back to his apartment was one of the rare moments where he felt like he could finally let himself breathe.
Even if Jungkook never brought himself to call his apartment home.
The penthouse he lived in was in fact entirely owned by his boyfriend. Haneul came from a wealthy family of well-known persons in the business world — Haneul himself was well on his way to becoming one. Graduating top of his class with a bachelor's degree in business management in the same year as Taehyung, he currently worked as a business consultant at a huge international firm. In a few years, he was expected to take over his father’s legacy and become the firm's CEO.
Saying that Haneul was neglecting Jungkook might not be exactly accurate. Jungkook preferred to think that his boyfriend had his own twisted ways of showing affection.
When they had both still been in college, things had been much simpler. Their relationship had involved passionate make out sessions in the library, quickies between classes, and wild frat parties. They had been having fun, and loving had felt easy.
Jungkook had been sure he had made the right choice, even if the pain of losing his best friend never seemed to lessen.
But then, something changed irrevocably when they got their jobs and started working.
They started to talk less because their schedules appeared to consistently clash together. Whenever Jungkook attempted to confront Haneul about it, he never failed to receive the same, curt answer.
"We're adults now, Jungkook. You know I have an important list of responsibilities. Don't be so selfish, now."
They were adults now, and Jungkook would sometimes find himself tossing in their shared bed, mind roaring at him to question why his boyfriend didn't have a list of priorities , and why he always came last. And while he was losing sleep over it, his boyfriend would sleep peacefully by his side, unaware of the other's inner turmoil.
They also stopped going on dates.
Haneul would constantly deny it, though. He claimed that taking Jungkook as his date to the business dinners and networking parties he was required to attend definitely counted as romantic dates. Even when all Jungkook wanted to do was to snuggle under his blanket and drown himself in a good book.
"Come on, you need to live a little, babe."
He was fucking trying.
"Don't you like music? There's going to be an orchestra, you should be excited."
Although he enjoyed jazz music, Jungkook hated classical music. Not that it mattered to his boyfriend.
"Hey babe, I bought you a new suit for tonight's event. Don't forget to wear your new dress shoes as well — your outfit yesterday looked too cheap. I told you that you need to be careful to not taint my image."
That night, Jungkook refused to leave the penthouse. He refused to act as a pet once more, expected to sit still and look pretty, paraded in front of others, objectified as though he was nothing but a prize supposed to increase his owner's value or whatever bullshit his boyfriend was throwing straight at his face.
Haneul merely rolled his eyes at what he described as an immature tantrum, and simply left without looking back, steps echoing like the sound of an obnoxious ticking bomb.
Jungkook had always feared the day no one would ever accept him anymore. Had this day finally come?
The next day, Haneul brought him the biggest bouquet of flowers he had ever received, apologizing. For what, he wasn't sure.
But who else would want him, if even the person he had chosen as soulmate would not?
A tiny voice occasionally dared to whisper in his head that maybe, just maybe , he had been wrong to assume that Haneul was his soulmate. But he would constantly silence this fleeting thought, in the same way he would muffle his cries during his sleepless nights, because it didn't matter anymore . Taehyung now hated him so much that only a fool would see the both of them as anything other than enemies.
So he accepted the bouquet — candytuft — and he let it slide.
Jungkook later learned that in the language of flowers, candytuft symbolized indifference.
***
While some people romanticized the idea of soulmates — like Jungkook had for the first twenty years of his life — some were rather skeptical. If having a soulmate was a gift from Fate, meeting them was only allowed by Destiny's whims, for Fate was set by the Universe while Destiny was up to one's own acts and decisions.
Going from Markless to Cursed, Jungkook didn't fancy neither Fate nor Destiny.
He wasn't the only person to think so, he realized, as he accidentally stumbled upon Soulverse.
Soulverse was an application available to all — the Marked, the Markless and the Cursed alike — intended to match the lonely souls amongst themselves, as a way to provide companionship and hopefully some comfort. The application's logo icon looked somewhat familiar to Jungkook — blue, with two overlapping speech bubbles and one star.
Pairing wasn't arbitrary — but the process was simple. Profiles didn't include pictures or biographies, for soul pairing required an authenticity that went beyond the often superficial and socially controlled mask that one would allow the world to see on any other social media platform.
Instead, each user was invited to write genuine answers to a set of random Soulverse prompts.
"What is one word you would use to describe your relationship with yourself?"
Resentful.
"What's a hard conversation with yourself that you are currently avoiding?"
Maybe I made the wrong choice a few months ago and sabotaged myself, but also someone else. Or maybe they're better off without me. And I guess I will never know because I am not brave enough to find out the truth — if that's even possible.
"What emotion are you struggling to let yourself feel?"
Peace.
Letting his soul bare for the world to see, without the pressure of someone taking pity on him, felt oddly liberating. Jungkook thought that allowing himself to be vulnerable might be part of a healing process he never realized he needed.
After writing down his answers to a few prompts and choosing a username — Koophoria — his profile was complete.
If soulmates in real life were paired as a result of whatever force there was out there, soul pairing on Soulverse was based on bilateral consent and free choice.
Jungkook thus proceeded to read other lonely souls' answers to their own prompts.
"What has been keeping you sane lately?" Reading about characters falling in love with each other and living vicariously through them. It's a feeling I crave but will never get to experience because Fate has single handedly decided so.
"What do you need right now but can't bring yourself to communicate?" A break.
"What was the biggest turning point in your dating life?" My dating life doesn't even have a point, much less a turn.
"What are you thinking of right now?" That these prompts are requiring self-reflection and my guarded heart isn't too happy about that.
Reading all these strangers' deepest thoughts was an experience in itself. In such a short amount of time, Jungkook almost felt overwhelmed by many different feelings — hurt, but also acceptance, bitterness, exhaustion, guilt, and even hope.
Reading felt like living multiple lives — both shelters and warnings.
Jungkook was about to step off from his phone to take a break, when a profile caught his attention.
"How did you get over your first love?"
He was my first and my only one. I didn't know it was love at that time, but looking back, it had been for a while.
I hate Fate, and I hate the Universe just the same. I really do.
But I would never be able to hate the Universe that he holds, for his smile made me feel like a comet bursting into flames, a fire that he would simultaneously soothe with the gentle breeze brought by his laugh. Whenever I was with him, even rain never really felt that cold.
And before my brain could even comprehend what I had been taking for granted for so long, he left. Like almost everyone else, he eventually found his soulmate. Or rather, he was already with his soulmate, and Fate caught up on him.
But not as cruelly as it caught me — trapped me in my loneliness.
That was when I learned that emptiness felt the heaviest without him.
So how did I get over him?
I guess I never really did.
Jungkook stared at his screen for a minute.
He, too, felt trapped in his loneliness — although his had been unintentionally self-inflicted.
So he decided to message the user—
Singularitae.
From [ Koophoria ] — 2:17 am
I too hold a grudge against Fate.
From [ Singularitae ] — 2:18 am
Fuck Fate.
Unbeknownst to him, a stranger managed to bring a rare smile to the tired writer's face. Maybe Soulverse's soul pairing wasn't so bad after all.
In any case, it was most definitely kinder than Fate's cruel games.
***
At this point, only two things kept Jungkook going, effectively preventing him from falling apart at any given moment from overwork and from heartbreak — both at the same time.
The first thing was his daily conversations with Soulverse's user Singularitae.
Ever since they had met on Soulverse two weeks ago, communication had never felt so effortless and comforting in a long while. Jungkook thought people would probably tell him he was being ridiculous for seeking comfort in the form of a nameless, faceless stranger on the Internet who could be miles away from him, but he really was not.
As cliché as it sounded, their souls just... Clicked.
They barely talked about their personal lives in order to preserve their anonymity in accordance with Soulverse's rules. But this never prevented them from having lengthy conversations that extended throughout the day, going over random topics — they definitely discussed pineapple on pizza and mint chocolate ice cream for at least three times now — until reaching the wee hours of the night, where their conversation would turn more vulnerable. Their daily messaging rarely seemed to find a definite end.
From [ Koophoria ] — 1:11 pm
Did you know that "gruntled" (as in, the opposite of "disgruntled") is actually a word?
It literally means "pleased, satisfied, and content".
From [ Singularitae ] — 1:13 pm
Well I am gruntled to learn this, thank you for sharing this precious peace of information with me.
From [ Koophoria ] — 1:14 pm
Don't try to be sarcastic on me now, mister—
Oh, I need to go — lunch break is almost over. Talk to you later
From [ Singularitae ] — 1:15 pm
Well now I am disgruntled to see you go.
Take care x
From [ Koophoria ] — 1:15 pm
... I swear to god—
xxx
The second thing that kept Jungkook going was the small yet noticeable kind acts of some mysterious stranger at his workplace.
"Writer Jeon, I am so sorry, we need to change the script for tomorrow's program."
Their newsroom was fast-paced and exciting, but Jungkook sometimes ended up completely drained whenever they had particularly busy days.
Just like today.
It was to be expected, though. News happened all the time, around-the-clock, and it was only fair that in order to remain competitive, they had to adapt their scripts and deadlines — however stressful the whole process became at times.
"Would you have time to amend the new script yourself? I am asking you because you are our best writer, but obviously if you already have pending works, we will find someone else," assured his supervisor.
Jungkook had yet to plan and produce the content for next week's special program, and still needed to finalize a few scripts that were due by the end of this week.
"No worries, I don't mind doing it."
To be completely honest, Jungkook was their best writer, despite his young age and lack of experience compared to his seniors. His writing style was clear and concise, yet captivating. Everyone knew it — Jungkook included.
While this talent and dedication of his might be convenient for him as a new writer in the industry, it sometimes felt like a burden, especially when it came to teamwork. All of his fellow co-workers at the newsroom expected his works to be of high quality with no exception, because that's what Jungkook constantly delivered.
What they didn't know, however, was the amount of hard work, overthinking and sleepless nights that went behind his so called masterpieces. While they would only see the polished tip of the iceberg, none of them ever imagined that writing wasn't something innate but rather the result of heavy self-criticism and unconditional resilience.
And because they merely saw Jungkook as a writing machine that never struggled nor made any mistakes, no one ever thought twice before asking him to do additional last minute work — he's just so good at it anyway, how could some extra scripts to write make that much of a difference to him, right?
The thing was, they did make a difference.
Ever since he had stopped accompanying Haneul to his business dinners, the silence Jungkook used to find comforting now felt daunting. The utter stillness the penthouse was plunged in whenever he came back from work felt like the calm before the storm.
Somehow, the quietness sounded like the most desperate scream for help.
But instead of reaching out to someone — anyone — Jungkook decided to drown himself in his work, hoping that it would be enough to distract his mind and make him forget his miserableness.
He hardly ever slept anymore, and often forgot to eat his meals.
No one seemed to notice — not his boyfriend, not his co-workers.
But someone in the newsroom did.
It was four in the afternoon. He was coming back from a bathroom break when he found a lunch box placed on top of his desk.
Thinking it was left there by mistake, Jungkook was about to bring it out of his office and leave it in the main room when he saw the note on top of the still warm lunch box.
"Please don't forget to eat."
He had forgotten to eat, too focused on the complex script he was currently editing.
Who was this and how did they know he hadn't eaten yet?
He hadn't left his office very long — perhaps ten minutes at most — so it had to be someone who was close-by. Could it be the audio engineer who had his office next to his? Or maybe the social media manager who was across from him? It would be the only two plausible explanations, considering that the third office close to his was—
Taehyung's.
Coincidentally, the lunchbox contained his favorite dishes — fried rice, kimchi stew and dumplings.
Jungkook promptly took a much needed break to savor the late lunch the kind stranger brought him, before getting back to work.
Surprisingly, words came much more easily. Not as a whirlwind of complex vocabulary words and an inconsistent mix of tenses, but rather as an organized library of thoughts, where all the books would be dusted off with care, rather than left to rot on the shelves.
When he was finally done editing, the writer was baffled to find the clock indicating that he was an entire hour early compared to how he had planned his schedule for the day.
It had been a while since he had felt so full — both his stomach and his heart.
***
Later that night, right before their main evening program, Jungkook found himself chatting with their broadcast meteorologist — Hyemi — in the waiting room.
He was also doing his best to ignore Taehyung's presence, who was sitting in the chair across from where Jungkook and Hyemi were sitting next to each other. The anchor's eyes were fixated on his phone, scrolling through something — hopefully his script, which would mean that he was focused enough to ignore their conversation, Jungkook thought.
"—and then he gave me flowers! But he offered flowers to everyone at the event, so I guess I'm not that special," Hyemi whined with a frown.
Jungkook turned his attention from Taehyung back to Hyemi. "Do you know what kind of flowers he gave you?"
"I think he mentioned to me that they were red camellias? It doesn't matter though, because the white flowers he gave my friend were much prettier," Hyemi scoffed, arms crossed.
The writer hummed. "If he gave different flowers to everyone and went as far as directly mentioning the specific type of flowers he got you, he might know the language of flowers."
With a gasp, Hyemi exclaimed, "So it was a code? Like a message? What do red camellias mean, then?"
With a knowing grin, Jungkook playfully whispered, "It means you're a flame in my heart . I guess you do have a chance with the guy, after all."
Before Hyemi's squeal could fully come out of her throat, a snort interrupted them.
"Since when do flowers speak? That's so lame, Jeon Jungkook. But then again, since it's coming from you, I’m not all that surprised," Taehyung mused, eyes now very much directed towards him.
Jungkook sighed. "Flowers have restricted meanings, but at least they're rarely misunderstood and sometimes incredibly helpful to get a point across when even words fail. One just needs to know where to look." He glared at the anchor, "Not that your insensitive brain would understand that, Kim Taehyung."
With a visible eye-roll, Taehyung leaned back in his chair, gaze trailed back to his phone.
"Whatever you say."
When Taehyung finally left the waiting room to get ready for his tv appearance, Jungkook muttered to Hyemi under his breath, "I should get that asshole a whole bouquet of tansy flowers."
"What do tansy flowers mean?"
" Declaration of war. "
Hyemi giggled.
But Jungkook knew that wasn't true. If anything, if he ever had the guts to talk to his former best friend again, he'd offer him purple hyacinths.
I'm sorry, please forgive me.
***
The next day, another lunch box was waiting for Jungkook on his desk—
Along with a note.
And a small bouquet of flowers.
He first read out the note.
"I hope you're eating better. Don't forget to get some sleep as well. Good luck for today's meeting."
Perplexed and unable to explain the warmth that was slowly spreading within his chest, Jungkook then stared at the flowers, as though they could tell him who they were coming from.
White hyacinths.
I'll pray for you, lovely.
***
From [ Koophoria ] — 6:03 pm
I'm getting off from work early — this very important meeting I had today went really well!
Still up for that Iron Man movies marathon we talked about last week?
Both Soulverse users had agreed to watch all Iron Man movies at the same time together and send each other their reactions in real time. After learning that user Singularitae had been planning to watch Iron Man with a friend of his before their friendship fell apart, Jungkook was absolutely ready to convince him to watch the movies with him, as his fake virtual soulmate — but friend nonetheless—
Even if it reminded him of how he and Taehyung had planned to watch the entire series huddled together in his bed the day after his 23rd birthday — the day they broke their friendship instead. He couldn’t believe that had been only a few months ago. It felt like time had started to pass by agonizingly slowly since then.
God, he hoped someone had forced Taehyung to watch the movies with them.
When he got back to his apartment and still didn't receive a reply, Jungkook pouted.
From [ Koophoria ] — 6:37 pm
I guess you're busy. Don't overwork yourself too much — and don't forget to drink your water!!
With a small sigh, he threw his phone on the sofa and wondered when his boyfriend would be back today. Maybe Haneul wouldn't even stop by to change clothes; sometimes he would directly head over to his business dinners as soon as he got off from work — alone, thankfully, since Jungkook didn't think he would ever feel comfortable going to those and act as a docile pet.
Yet, they were still together. Even if they didn't kiss anymore, didn't hold hands, didn't spend hours on end talking about the most random curiosities in life, and even if they maybe were not soulmates after all, Haneul and him were still together.
They could make this work.
Or rather, they had to.
Because otherwise, Jungkook felt like he would have no one else left. And he knew this wasn't a healthy mindset to have in a relationship, but he was just so incredibly terrified of being alone . He couldn't even blame it on being Markless — because he was Cursed . And even if Taehyung was actually his soulmate, he couldn't dare to leave Haneul, simply because he couldn't even fathom the thought of being left alone above anything else — which would most definitely happen if he ended things with Haneul and Taehyung still rejected him out of hatred — or maybe out of spite, which Jungkook would totally understand.
So Jungkook was staying, even if everything felt cold and foggy.
And he was doing his best to ignore his gut feeling, which was yelling at him to stop being so delusional.
Haneul loved him and cared for him — just in his own way. Right?
But only a few minutes later, Jungkook would learn the hard way that maybe he should have listened to his gut feeling — just like he should have listened to it on the day after his 23rd birthday.
Not wanting to dwell more than he already had on these thoughts that sparked feelings so contradictory within him, Jungkook promptly went to get his hands on his speakers. Putting on some random music had become a habit by now, as a desperate attempt to fill in the roaring silence reigning in the penthouse.
But as Jungkook was entering his bedroom — his and Haneul's bedroom — he felt as though someone had punched him in the gut without holding back.
"... Haneul?"
Haneul was sprawled on his bed — their bed — only in his underwear.
Jungkook’s stomach churned.
On that same bed, two women and one man, just as poorly dressed — if not totally naked — were surrounding Haneul, hands roaming on each other's naked bodies. Some had their eyes closed in bliss, too gone to even notice Jungkook's presence.
Haneul, though, noticed.
He merely threw a lazy smile at Jungkook.
"You're here early. We were getting ready for tonight's party but we got a little, ah, distracted ." He smirked, one eyebrow raised. "Care to join us and finally have some fun in your dull life?"
Jungkook was at a loss for words.
He had been wrong to hope.
He had hoped that Haneul and him would be okay — that he wouldn't end up alone, after all.
Jungkook bitterly thought, maybe hope was in fact harder to cope with than loneliness.
He gulped, voice merely above a strained whisper.
"I'm sorry I took so long to realize I fell out of love. I'm sorry I was holding onto you for my own sake. Goodbye, Haneul."
As he finally left the apartment building, Jungkook took in a sharp intake of breath. Perhaps it was a gasp, perhaps it was a sigh but—
Jungkook was now alone.
The rain had never felt so cold.
***
From [ Singularitae ] — Monday
Hey, sorry I got held up at work. We can watch the movies tomorrow if you're free?
From [ Singularitae ] — Tuesday
I told you my job involves public speaking, right?
Well I managed to sneak in the word "gruntled" in my speech. I feel accomplished.
From [ Singularitae ] — Wednesday
I'm worried, you've never taken this long to reply.
Have you finally grown tired of me?
From [ Singularitae ] — Thursday
I really wouldn't blame you if you actually did grow tired of me
Just let me know if you're okay
From [ Singularitae ] — Friday
I miss talking with you
From [ Singularitae ] — Saturday
Did you know that white hyacinths mean "I'll pray for you, lovely"?
I didn't, until someone special made me want to learn the language of flowers
I wish I could send some to you as well
From [ Singularitae ] — Sunday
Whatever you're going through right now, please know that you have my full support. I hope you're doing okay.
***
It had been a week since Jungkook found his boyfriend — ex-boyfriend — cheating on him in his own bed.
A week since he left Haneul, a week since he found a studio for himself, and a week since he had been holed up in said studio, taking his one week leave from work.
The silence in his studio didn't feel so suffocating anymore — it felt empty, but liberating nonetheless.
Hyemi had called to check up on him halfway through the week.
"How long do you think one can suffer from heartbreak if it is caused by the same one person, Hyemi?"
"As long as you love them, Jungkook." He could hear the sad smile in Hyemi's voice. "You should rest for this week. I'll see you on Monday!"
And she probably thought that Jungkook was talking about Haneul.
But he wasn't.
He was talking about all the time he and Taehyung had lost out of his own selfishness. Because for some reason, losing Haneul felt less painful than losing Taehyung.
Maybe he never really had Haneul to begin with — probably like Haneul never really had Jungkook either. They had been a good distraction to each other in college, quickly labeled as boyfriends by everyone else, which they both chose to go along with, and then Jungkook had slowly turned into a pretty doll for Haneul to show off at his fancy dinners.
From [ Koophoria ] — 11:38 am
Hey.
Do you think you are meant to end up dating your soulmate if you ever meet them?
From [ Singularitae ] — 11:42 am
Hello to you too, I am great thanks for asking.
Actually I am not, I've been worried sick about you — and someone else who also decided to disappear but that's another thing
From [ Koophoria ] — 11:43 am
Sorry
I was just... I needed some time to reflect on my own I guess
But I'm back! I'm at work right now — and you won't get rid of me so easily!!
From [ Singularitae ] — 11:44 am
Good.
And to answer your question — no, I don't think so. I think your soulmate doesn't necessarily have to be your significant other. I think a soulmate is a gift from Fate, a soul that is in tune with yours and would understand and support you during the hard times when no one else would.
From [ Koophoria ] — 11:49 am
So you don't think soulmates are cool?
From [ Singularitae ] — 11:51 am
I think being tied down to one lover even before meeting them is kind of sad, because it means that you’re powerless. You don’t get to make your own choices. You're just a pawn in Fate's arbitrary games.
At least that's the one thing I like about being Markless — I get to choose for myself.
Jungkook pondered on this last sentence. The day after his 23rd birthday, he hadn't really chosen — he had simply gone with the flow, in hopes that he would never have to choose at all , because choice had felt like a burden back then.
But looking at it with a new perspective, choice was also…
Freedom. Self-expression.
Maybe it was time he embraced it.
Because he knew he didn't hate Taehyung — if anything, he missed him. Rather, he hated the way the Universe, Fate and Destiny had all come together and found a way to meddle with their relationship.
From [ Koophoria ] — 11:55 am
So did you? Choose someone?
From [ Singularitae ] — 11:56 am
I did.
But he didn't choose me back.
I still send him lunch boxes though — because this idiot doesn't know how to put himself and his health first — and flowers — because he said that the language of flowers works when even words fail. It probably sounds pathetic but I guess I'm still a part of Fate's cruel games after all.
Jungkook frowned. All of this sounded awfully familiar—
His heart skipped a bit.
Could it be—?
From [ Koophoria ] — 11:59 am
Did you leave a note? With the flowers?
From [ Singularitae ] — 12:00 am
I left him an entire love letter.
Oh. Jungkook really had to learn not to get his hopes up so easily.
From [ Singularitae ] — 12:00 am
But I doubt he'll ever see it.
From [ Koophoria ] — 12:01 am
What do you mean?
From [ Singularitae ] — 12:02 am
It's on a USB flash drive. I hid the memory stick in one of the bouquets I sent last week but he didn't receive the bouquet — I don't even know when he'll come back to work.
Jungkook bolted out of his office to get to the newsroom's secretary's office.
When the elevator finally reached the ground floor, Jungkook was out of breath — not from running, but from the way his heart refused to beat at a normal speed.
"Hi Jeonghan, did I receive any more flowers last week? Do you by chance still have them?"
Jeonghan was surprised by the urgency tainting Jungkook's shaky voice, but his face brightened at the memory.
"Oh, yeah, I kept them under my desk! They were just too pretty — your secret admirer has taste, I must admit. Here—"
Jungkook was probably being rude and looking like a madman, but after muttering a quick thanks at the secretary, he started rummaging through the bouquets, frantically looking for the memory stick.
Surely enough, there it was.
A thin black USB flash drive was dangling from one of the rubans holding one of the bouquet of flowers together — red tulips, although his overwhelmed brain couldn't remember their meaning.
The elevator ride back to his office felt excruciatingly slow.
Once Jungkook finally reached his office, he didn't wait another second before plugging the memory stick into his laptop.
It had one single file on it.
Or rather, a song.
Jungkook was close to losing it when Taehyung's ethereal voice came out of the speakers.
How could I know
One day I’d wake up feeling more
But I had already reached the shore
Guess we were ships in the night
It felt as if time had stopped, and the clock's obnoxious ticking sound had been replaced by Jungkook's racing heart, albeit the latter was considerably faster than the average second.
I’m wondering
Are you my best friend
Feel’s like a river’s rushing through my mind
I wanna ask you
If this is all just in my head
My heart is pounding tonight
Tears welled up in Jungkook's eyes as he brought his hand to his mouth to muffle his gasp.
I wonder if you
Are too good to be true
And would it be alright
If I pulled you closer
That was when it hit him.
Red tulips.
Declaration of love.
***
Jungkook bursted into Taehyung's office, entirely foregoing the knocking etiquette.
Taehyung was at his desk, frowning at his phone screen, as though he was waiting for something — a reply.
It was only when Jungkook heaved out a broken sob that Taehyung finally noticed his presence.
"Jeon Jungkook? What are you doing here? Wait, when did you even come back to work?" he asked, completely puzzled at the sight.
But Jungkook was too choked up by his emotions to form any coherent sentences, or maintain a consistent train of thought.
"Haneul... I broke up with Haneul... On Soulverse... And the tulips! Have such a beautiful voice... With the lyrics... On the memory stick and Singularitae and—"
"You broke up with your soulmate? Singularitae? Wait, are you user Koophoria?" Taehyung exclaimed in disbelief.
Jungkook was embarrassingly close to whining now. "He’s not my soulmate! Or maybe, but maybe not..." He took a deep breath. "Listen, I'm Cursed, okay? That day we... After my 23rd birthday, both his name and yours appeared on my wrist. I never showed it to you, I never told you, I'm sorry—"
Taehyung looked shocked, eyes wide and mouth slightly gaping. But as Jungkook grew more and more panicked, he was shaken out of his stupor, as the instinct to soothe and reassure the writer took over. "Hey, okay, breathe first, it's okay."
He gently brought his hands on Jungkook's arms, trying to steady him. Jungkook merely fisted his own fingers onto Taehyung's shirt.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," the writer whispered, biting his lips anxiously.
"I understand. You were scared. I'm sorry I wasn't there when shit went down with Haneul." Taehyung started drawing small patterns with his thumbs, so careful, as though he was handling the world's most precious yet toughest gem. "I can’t believe you’re actually user Koophoria. But then again, I can , because talking to you felt so easy and safe and warm ."
Jungkook shook his head, eyes glassy, his lips tugged upwards in a small grin.
"So... You don't hate me?"
Taehyung chuckled. "Hate you? I could never, even if I tried my best."
"But what about all the things you said—"
"Bickering with you hurt less than entirely ignoring you." A sheepish smile was painted on Taehyung's face.
They stayed in each other's embrace — not quite a hug, but still as comforting — for a little while, each appreciating the other's closeness after all those months spent on acting like they despised each other.
Jungkook was the one who dared to break the comfortable silence. "Do you like me, hyung?"
With a sigh, Taehyung brought his forehead to Jungkook's, a small smile tugging at his lips. "That's not how I had planned to confess but... I do. I really like you. More than anything."
Jungkook's breathlessness came back in full force. He tightened his fingers on Taehyung's shirt.
"But you're Markless — and I'm Cursed. What if we’re not soulmates? What if we're not meant to be ?"
Taehyung leaned back and brought his fingers to Jungkook's face, tenderly tilting his face up from where the writer was looking towards the ground. Their breaths were mingling with each other, and Jungkook couldn't help but gaze at the soft lips that were centimeters away from him, mirroring Taehyung who was doing the same.
"I don’t care if we’re not soulmates, you dumb dumb. I just like you , Jeon Jungkook, my best friend, the person who has the most beautiful, precious soul in my eyes. Is that not enough?"
Jungkook couldn't go back to the past to change the present — catch up on all the time they had let go to waste.
But he could still do something now to change his future — their future.
And maybe Fate was seething with rage seeing how things had evolved, and maybe Destiny felt half satisfied and half entertained, but—
Jungkook let go of his death grip on Taehyung's shirt, and raised his arms to drape them over the anchor's broad shoulders instead. With a comforting heat blooming in his chest, he brought Taehyung's head toward his, before their lips met halfway.
A silence so merry and colorful exploded in Jungkook's mind.
Their kiss was soft yet passionate, and it equally felt like a prayer and a promise.
When they eventually let go of each other, both gasping for breath, Jungkook knew that he'd never have to turn on some random music to fill in the silence ever again — for he had found Taehyung's breathlessness, his laugh and his voice to be the best music to his ears.
With his lips still grazing Taehyung's, Jungkook's voice was nothing but a relieved murmur.
"I choose you. My soul chooses you, Kim Taehyung."
Taehyung's smile was so bright Jungkook thought no sky — day or night — would ever compare to it.
"And mine chooses you, Jeon Jungkook."
After all, there had never been any established rules when it came to Anomalies.
So fuck Fate, indeed.