Chapter Text
seven months later
Keigo grinned, an easy smile slipping over his features and lighting up his eyes under the cheap corner shop lights. “Thank you!” he cheered, waving as he grabbed his bag from the counter, hauling tonight’s dinner’s ingredients back to his hole-in-the-wall apartment in a dingier part of the city.
His mother was waiting for him, staring out the window like how she did most of the time these days. Keigo couldn’t find any way to cheer her up, so he’d resorted to making dinner for them both every night like a good son. Tonight’s was actually a meal Touya had taught him how to make, filled with things Keigo would never have been able to cook if he hadn’t met the other man.
It had been seven months since he’d last spoken to Touya, since they’d last said goodbye. He’d, of course, sent a few texts afterwards, a tiny blue flame of hope flickering in his chest that Touya would respond. Maybe something had happened and he was coming back. Maybe he’d changed his mind and decided to keep his phone. Maybe he would finally reply with something less heartbreaking than ‘Bye birdie’. But he never texted back. Keigo never got another response, and the months went by.
He graduated, found a part-time job, so he could help out, and turned eighteen. He yelled at his father, got beaten up for it, and the days continued. He learnt how to better bandage himself up. He learnt how to kick and punch properly. He learnt how to fall to make it look like he was down for good, so his father would finally stop. Sometimes, he actually did, but other times, Keigo had to make up excuses as to why he had a plaster over his nose or why his lips were red with dried blood.
Most of the time, though, people didn’t care about a ratty kid with eagle eyes and dirty hair.
The days flew past like falling autumn leaves, crumpling in the dirt as the seasons passed. Keigo found himself thinking about university, about whether or not he could afford to go—and it wasn’t just a financial decision. He was smart; he had scholarships, but that would mean that his mother would be alone against his father. It would mean that he wouldn’t ever be able to be the barrier between them.
A part of him wondered if that was better, though. His father seemed calmer, nicer when he wasn’t around. His mother seemed less depressed when he shut himself in his room or wandered out into the city streets at night. Keigo got to know who Fuyumi was. He got to know what a rascal Natsuo could be and how Shouto was quiet, observing. He got to see Rumi smile more than he could ever make her, and he began to wonder if he should have gone with Touya all those months ago. Things were better without him. People moved on.
While others were happy, or at least getting better, he could be watching movies by Touya’s side. He could be messing up cooking with Touya to scold him in real life. He could hear the exasperated sigh sure to follow over his shoulder rather than through a phone speaker.
He tried not to lament over it for ages. He let the white plastic bag clatter down onto the kitchen counter as a way to distract himself. He pushed used bowls away, into the metal sink, using the clang and clipped noises to snap at any remaining golden milky dream residue in his brain. He’d been daydreaming a lot more lately, and that was unusual for someone as analytic as him. No one really noticed aside from Rumi, who knew him better than he would like to admit, and Fuyumi, who was getting to know him, despite how little time they actually spent together. He didn’t know if he was becoming more transparent, but Fuyumi seemed to be able to pick up on the little things like the way his eyes lagged slightly when following a conversation he was only half part of or how his cheeks seemed a little duller than usual. She was his age, but she could see right through him.
Sometimes, with the way she looked at him, able to peel back the gold of his irises to peer within, Keigo could only think of Touya.
He focused on making dinner instead, on the way the ingredients simmered in a pan, on how they changed colour like the transpiring sky. He called his mother to eat. They ate silently together at the table, two chairs sitting across from one another but too close together to really be away. She stared at him like she had a hundred words to say. Keigo didn’t ask her about a single one of them, and she never let her voice spill into the air. The only sound was the gentle slurp of a summer evening fading away, of the day coming to a close and another red cross slicing through the calendar.
It was during nights like this that Keigo couldn’t stop himself from spending a few hours tracing his way back through his and Touya’s conversations, reliving each moment in his head. He wished he had recordings of their calls to play in the background, just so he could count the beats between Touya’s shitty jokes and his even shittier replies. Just so he could think about how Touya ever thought he was unattractive when he had such blue eyes like how he did.
Keigo spent too long looking at the few photos he was sent. He spent too long thinking about Magne’s rabbits and how he hoped they were brought along too. He spent too long thinking about the shit Toga would get up to and if Shigaraki had left his room today, or if he was still holed up with the same computer he had that could barely run the games he pirated without overheating and crying through a burning fan.
He could only think about how Touya would snicker whenever Spinner walked into his room during their calls, asking for something quietly before exclaiming loudly when Touya went too far with an insult. It was funny. Keigo could never stop himself from laughing either. And then Toga’s intrusive cackles would ring loudly through the speakers, cutting sharply as if she had appeared out of nowhere. Touya would swear. There would be rustling as things were dropped and doors were banged open. Someone would yell somewhere else, sounding older and firmer, but equally as tired as Keigo would usually feel. Jin would pick the phone up and give a live running commentary of every chaotic action happening as they happened, most of the time going off on little tangents or contradicting himself, so Keigo could never truly tell what was going on, but that somehow made it all the better.
And then Touya’s voice would be back, snappy and cold as he snatched his phone back from Jin, slinking off to a quiet place in the house where he could talk to Keigo alone. They would talk for hours. The night would fade away, and it would feel better than the way the nights dispersed now. Keigo would wake up with a text from Touya, letting him know that he’d stupidly fallen asleep during their call, but Touya wouldn’t ever mind. It made Keigo smile like the stupid teenager he was, smitten beyond belief but still holding back every emotion he felt as best as he could.
He would do his hair the way he knew Touya liked it, put on the eyeshadow Touya seemed to like more than all the others, and pose in a way that always took him a hundred different pictures to get right. But it was worth it.
Or he told himself that as he scrolled past picture after picture, flustered response after flustered response. He told himself that as he swallowed the gulp in his throat, as he tried not to cry over something that was nothing, really, when he thought about it. Touya and he were never a we. They were never anything more than two people who’d begun conversing because the other had the wrong number, because they were both sad and lonely, and had no one else who could really understand that. No one they could actually talk to, at least.
Keigo let his phone run out of charge. He let the screen flicker with its last dying breath, pleading him to connect it to the charger only a few metres away, but then it fell into the sheets, getting swallowed by ugly, washed-out fabric to be found haphazardly in the morning.
After finishing high school, Keigo no longer had pages and pages of homework to distract himself with. Now that he thought about it, Touya was right. He had no hobbies, no life. There were no friends for him to chat with aside from Rumi, and Keigo couldn’t believe how much of his day was occupied by one blue-eyed idiot who didn’t give a fuck about him. It was ridiculous how much he was still moping, but Keigo couldn’t let go of people he cared about so easily. He didn’t care about many people, but unfortunately, Touya ended up being one of them.
He fell asleep, letting unconsciousness overtake him in waves, rolling over him with foamy white and crystal air bubbles. They prickled at his skin, exploding like miniature underwater volcanoes—muted, but sea-blue violent.
It happened when Keigo wasn’t thinking about anything, when he was crossing the road with one hand stuffed in his hoodie pocket and the other scrolling through Twitter. He wasn’t paying attention to the street or the cars, to the countless people milling around him with dark coats and shadowed eye bags. The message was simple, chaste. It looked like an accident. Keigo didn’t recognise the number.
First, his eyebrows creased together as he opened his messages. Then, he stood in the middle of the crossroad, eyes wide open as his heart leapt away from him, soaring faster than a hawk itself.
A car honked, loud and obtrusive. Keigo stumbled, jerking to the side to get out of the way even though no car was crashing towards him. Instead, there were only a couple of very annoyed eyes, blue and sharp but nothing like Touya’s. He ran to the other side of the road, pausing by the wall of a grey building to stare at his phone screen.
[14:26] Unknown: Hey
[14:27] Sender: hi?
[14:27] Sender: sorry, but i think u have the wrong number
[14:27] Unknown: I dont
[14:27] Unknown: I know i said u could forget me but i didnt think u would actually do it
[14:28] Sender: touya???
[14:28] Unknown: Hey birdie
[14:28] Sender: what the fuck
[14:28] Unknown: Miss me?
[14:29] Unknown: Look up
Keigo didn’t know what to think. Touya, apparently, had all of a sudden decided to text him again, to acknowledge his existence after months of nothing but silence and waiting. Keigo had given up on ever seeing the other man again. He’d given up on anything and everything that had to do with Touya, but as he raised his head, searching through a growing frown as his eyes skimmed over head after head, his heart stopped cold.
Ahead of him, standing silently amongst the bustling crowd, seemingly unbothered with all the disruption he was causing, was a tall-ish man with bright white hair that stuck rudely into the space around him. It clashed over his eyes, as blue as the ocean, and reflected like the white of his teeth, exposed with the catty smirk he was wearing. The lower half of his face was spattered with light purple scarring, looking as if it had been smeared haphazardly with a broad paintbrush. He looked different from the pictures Keigo kept saved in his phone. Gone were the silver staples creating a crude image of a Glasgow smile. Gone were the ugly replacements of eye bags that Keigo never minded. In its place was smooth skin, speckled with old scarring but more natural than it was before. Touya looked disturbingly like someone Keigo knew, but he couldn’t think about that right now. He couldn’t think about anything other than the uneven thumps bumbling against his ribcage, stumbling like every rampant thought in his mind, stumbling like each twisted breath leaving his lips.
His phone clattered to the ground without him thinking. He was running forward, his mouth spreading back wide as his arms reached out, tears springing out of nowhere in the corners of his eyes. He crashed into Touya with the force of a speeding sports car, and they almost buckled down onto the pavement.
But it seemed that Touya was expecting that. He leaned back, balancing with a leg to steady him as his arms wrapped around Keigo’s waist, pulling him close as if seven months had never passed. As if things were fine and they had been best friends this whole time.
Keigo buried his face in Touya’s chest, babbled about everything and nothing, every thought he’d kept locked up in his mess of a head flowing out like a raging avalanche. It ranged from sobs to ‘i miss you’s, to insults and yells, and then Touya was pulling Keigo back along the pavement, bending down to grab his battered phone. The screen was now smashed, splitting like a murdered kaleidoscope. Keigo blamed Touya for it. He blamed everything on Touya until they were sitting in a park, shoulder to shoulder and a packet of sweets ripped open between them.
The awkward silence settled like a heavy blanket over their bodies, sinking into their skin now that the high from Touya’s sudden return had washed away. Keigo was left with a sticky feeling in his throat. It stopped him from swallowing his half-chewed gummy bear. Instead, the sweet hung in his mouth like a dead fly, melting away like clumping green rot.
“Why are you back?” Keigo croaked out, trying not to think about how the hours were dwindling away and he’d spent more time with Touya today than he had in forever.
This was the first time he and Touya were actually meeting. Not just talking through a screen, but talking face to face. It was terrifying. Keigo couldn’t help but notice every shade the stars swam in as the sun sunk lower and lower into the earth. He couldn’t help but notice the way Touya’s fingers wandered to his wrist, scarred and broken, the indentations from old staples still visible to Keigo’s sharp eyes. He looked like he was used to fiddling with them, tugging them out of his skin and letting pretty vermillion bead together before pressing the metal back in. He looked like a smoker itching for his next cigarette or an alcoholic reaching out for an imaginary drink.
Keigo looked away; he didn’t want to equate Touya with his mother. He didn’t want to equate Touya with any part of his family.
Touya turned to him, his face closer than Keigo thought he was. He wondered if he should move away or if that very movement would make things even more awkward. Keigo had been looking forward to this moment ever since he’d started actually getting to know Touya, back when they were still nothing but unknown contacts to one another—when things were easy and simple. But now that everything was happening, it felt like things were moving too soon. Keigo wasn’t ready. Touya sitting next to him felt too real. Him sharing gummy bears in the place of popcorn and a summer sunset in the place of a movie was too much.
Keigo wanted to run to his bed, fall into it as if it was a canopy of feathers. Strangely, he’d rather face his father than talk to the man next to him.
“Do you not want me here?” Touya asked.
Keigo couldn’t stop himself from scoffing, turning his head the other direction and letting the breeze carry his hair strands, messing it up more than usual. “You made it pretty clear last time that you didn’t want me around. Touya, why are you here? How did you even find me?”
“I have my ways.” Keigo could hear the smirk bleeding through the words, staining them the same colour as Touya’s eyes. “And I never said I didn’t want you around. I just said I had to go.”
“Same fucking thing.” Keigo stood, rushing to his feet too fast but he was used to doing things too fast, too soon. He was steady before he knew it and walking away, his feet taking him across the park paving.
Touya bounded after him, showing off long legs clad in dark skinny jeans. He was smiling like the bastard he was, a slight expression with crooked lips. He looked like he was having way too much fun, toying with Keigo as if he was gold-cased putty. Thin piano fingers clasped around Keigo’s arm, hauling him back until they were holding his wrist.
“Come on,” Touya let out. “Don’t be like that. I came back for you.”
Keigo’s fist met his jaw before he realised what was happening. His feet were forcing him down the street, through the crowd and past people, shoving his way through the city air as if there was nothing left for him to gulp. He was panting at the door of his apartment ten minutes later, his hair windswept and out of place, sweat collecting on his back and between his shoulder blades. Keigo ignored the mess lining the kitchen, the living room, the sofa. He ignored the countless glass bottles scattered over the floor to slam through his bedroom door and flop down face-first into his sheets. His phone clattered to the ground next to him, smashed and dirty.
He couldn’t tell why he did what he did, but he was happier reminiscing over something lost rather than having to face what Touya had become all over again.
⋆★⋆
[23:11] Unknown: Hey
[23:12] Sender: i’ll block u
[23:12] Unknown: U wont
[23:12] Sender: what do u want
[23:12] Unknown: What happened to the birdie who used to love sending me fucking seflies every day
[23:12] Sender: touya what do u want
[23:13] Unknown: Meet me for a movie
[23:13] Sender: i’m busy
[23:13] Unknown: Bullshit
[23:13] Sender: why
[23:13] Unknown: U like me
[23:14] Sender: that was 7 months ago
[23:14] Unknown: Watch a movie w me
[23:14] Sender: no
[10:36] Sender: uve changed a lot
[10:36] Unknown: Yeah
[10:37] Sender: this is easier
[10:37] Unknown: What is?
[10:37] Sender: talking like this
[10:37] Unknown: And here i thought i looked better now
[10:37] Unknown: But u still can’t stand talking to me face to face
[10:38] Sender: why do u have to be an asshole
[10:38] Sender: is there rlly not anything else u can be
[10:38] Unknown: No
[10:39] Unknown: How r u
[10:39] Sender: alive
[10:39] Unknown: Good to know
[10:47] Sender: how are u
[10:47] Unknown: Alive
[10:47] Sender: why are u here
[10:47] Unknown: I need to settle some things
[10:48] Sender: ofc it wasn’t for me
[10:48] Sender: did u even think about me at all these last few months
[10:48] Unknown: Why do we need to have this conversation
[10:48] Unknown: Is me being here not enough
[10:49] Sender: no
[10:49] Sender: of course its not enough wtf
[10:49] Unknown: Meet me for coffee
[10:50] Sender: no
[10:50] Unknown: Tea
[10:50] Sender: fuck no
[10:51] Unknown: I’ll take u to this fried chicken place
[10:51] Unknown: They have it american style
[10:51] Sender: stop talking to me
[10:52] Unknown: I’ll pick u up at 8
[10:52] Sender: wait what
[10:52] Unknown: I know where u live
[10:52] Sender: wow like that’s not the creepiest thing anyone has ever said to me
[10:52] Unknown: I’ll be there
[10:53] Sender: omfg stop
[10:53] Sender: ok ok fine i’ll go
[10:53] Sender: just don’t come to my house
[10:53] Sender: my dad might see u
[10:54] Sender: meet me at the park
[10:54] Sender: i can’t believe u
[10:54] Unknown: I knew u still liked me
[10:55] Sender: ur the biggest asshole i know
[10:55] Unknown: U like this asshole
[10:55] Sender: omg fucking stop bls
[10:56] Sender: so
[10:56] Sender: u never replied yknow
[10:56] Sender: back then
[10:56] Unknown: Yeah
[10:56] Sender: yeah what???
[10:58] Unknown: I’ll tell u later
[10:58] Sender: that’s not an answer
[10:58] Sender: ur the worst
[10:59] Unknown: Yeah
[11:00] Sender: how is everyone
[11:00] Unknown: Things are okay
[11:00] Unknown: I got a new job
[11:00] Unknown: Toga’s still struggling with school and friends but i think shes okay
[11:01] Unknown: Jin has a better job now
[11:01] Unknown: Even shiggy has a part time job too
[11:01] Unknown: Spinner came along as well and i have no idea why
[11:01] Unknown: But everyone seems to like it
[11:02] Sender: i’m glad ur all happy
[11:02] Unknown: Yeah
[11:03] Unknown: Dont forget a coat tonight ok
[11:03] Unknown: Dont want u dying on me or something
[11:03] Sender: aw u do care
⋆★⋆
The grass crackled as Keigo stepped over it, his footsteps quiet but loud at the same time. Touya was waiting across from him, illuminated by the yellow glow of the streetlamp he was leaning against. His head was cast down, fixated on the blue illumination of his phone. It reflected in his piercings. Keigo hadn’t noticed them before, too wrapped up in his own shock and thoughts. There were silver cartilage piercings lining the outside of both his ears and Keigo could just make out the starry twinkle of three circles on his nose.
Touya’s head snapped up. He cocked his head to the side, and smiled. Keigo hadn’t grown much since the last time he and Touya had spoken seven months ago, but Touya seemed like someone who had shot up. He was skinny like a lanky skeleton. Keigo couldn’t believe he was seeing him again.
“I’m not staying for long,” he declared as he stepped closer, a frown overtaking his features as he glared at Touya.
Touya only smirked in response, turning around to lead the way. The walk was quiet as they crossed through street after street, following a path Keigo couldn’t recognise despite living in this city his whole life. For someone with a bird-inspired nickname, he sure didn’t get out much.
The restaurant was a gritty hole-in-the-wall bar with the same square area as a tiny convenience store. Touya pulled him into a booth, squashing against his arms as they bundled together in the too-small space. Keigo’s heart leapt in his chest. He searched around for an easy way to get out, but then Touya turned to him, eyes wide and a half-smile painted over his lips.
“Relax,” he whispered in his low timbre.
It sounded so much like the one night Keigo was having a panic attack and Touya called him. It sounded so much like a time where Keigo couldn’t help but dream about moments like this, sitting together, huddled together, sharing the same air and the same food.
The fried chicken was amazing, but Keigo might have just been biased. Touya knew him too well. He gave Keigo a menu, but then he could guess every order Keigo wanted to make before he made it. His grin was back, snarky like his texts, dry like half his replies.
Even though it was weird, initially, to talk to Touya without a screen between them, Keigo found himself relaxing with each golden second that passed. His laugh flitted between them, ugly and too loud compared to Touya’s, but Touya seemed to like it. He ate more chicken than he had ever had, and when he was done, his belly full and heavy, Touya let him lean against him.
They filtered out into the night, the stars singing softly over them. Keigo didn’t know when his hand had fallen into Touya’s. The hold was warm, though. Safe and secure. He didn’t know when was the last time someone had held his hand like that.
“I haven’t told Rumi you’re here, by the way,” he muttered in the park as they both hovered under the street light.
“She’d kill me,” Touya said through a dry chuckle. His eyes sliced through his fringe. “Are you going to tell her?”
“Yes,” was Keigo’s immediate response. He didn’t even have to think about it. He was going to tell her. Eventually. At some point. “But not now.”
Touya’s lips curled up at the corner. “I’ll see you later, birdie.” He stopped halfway through turning around, his eyes twinkling. Mischievous. “Can you get home safe? Or should I walk a princess home?”
Keigo raised a feathery eyebrow. “I can handle myself just fine, thank you very much. I should be asking you that. I’m the one that lives around here, after all.”
Touya snickered. “I can handle myself just fine as well.” He paused, about to say goodbye but hesitating.
Keigo took that chance to rush forward, ignoring every fire alarm ringing in his head. He’d said at the very beginning how attached to Touya he’d gotten, and once something precious had come back to him, there was no way he could bear letting go again. It was a shame, but Keigo had always been a bit of an idiot. Abandonment issues and all that. Yeah, he could blame that in his mind, console himself at night when he was finally back between his bedsheets and alone.
He crushed Touya in a hug, wrapping his hands around solid shoulders. “I missed you so much!” he exclaimed, fisting his hands in Touya’s jacket, in the black material that stretched easily under his raptor-like grip.
A similar hold grasped onto his back, wrinkling the fabric of his father’s nice shirt that Touya had given him the courage to wear months ago.
“I—” Touya started, but then lips were on his, muffling his sentiment and swallowing his words.
He could only kiss back as Keigo pulled him down with his hands, moving his mouth against his and turning his hair into the same mess as the back of his coat. Keigo tasted like a weird mix of the fruity drink he’d ordered and the oily fried chicken he’d consumed. He tasted sweet and salty at the same time, but Touya could barely even focus on that as a nose knocked against his and teeth bit into his skin. He almost stumbled over before they broke away for air, but then Keigo was pulling him close again, warm skin tracing over his face, his cheeks, and snaking around his waist.
Keigo crawled through his bedroom window with a stupid grin on his kiss-swollen face—a grin just a brainless as him. His phone didn’t look so broken anymore, even if it was just the same.
⋆★⋆
[16:23] touya <3: Hey
[16:24] touya <3: So imma make noodles tonight
[16:25] Sender: omg fuck yes
[16:25] Sender: am i finally gonna be able to taste ur *amazing* cooking?
[16:25] touya <3: Yes
[16:25] touya <3: Thisll be better than whatever shit u make
[16:26] Sender: uh
[16:26] Sender: rood
[16:26] touya <3: We both know its true
[16:26] Sender: im ur bf why are u so mean to me ;;w;;
[16:27] touya <3: Shit luck chicken little
[16:27] Sender: >:(
[23:45] Sender: home safe and sound <3
[23:46] touya <3: Good
[23:46] Sender: where did u learn to cook like that?
[23:52] Sender: if u don’t want to tell me, that’s ok
[23:53] touya <3: No its fine
[23:53] touya <3: My father put a lot of stress on my mother
[23:53] touya <3: She couldnt always look after us
[23:53] touya <3: So my sister and i learnt how to cook in order to look after everyone
[23:53] touya <3: She was always better at it than me
[23:54] touya <3: But then i met shigaraki and toga and everyone
[23:54] touya <3: And they suck ass at cooking
[23:54] touya <3: I trust them less than you in the kitchen
[23:54] Sender: this checks out
[23:54] Sender: also u trust me <3
[23:55] touya <3: You are the lowest of the lowest bars and they dont even pass that
[23:55] Sender: ur so mean to me TT.TT
[23:55] touya <3: :)
[23:56] touya <3: But yeah
[23:56] touya <3: Thats how i learnt how to cook
[23:56] Sender: i wish i didnt leave, now i cant hug u!
[23:57] touya <3: Ur the only one who likes these hugs
[23:57] Sender: yknow
[23:57] Sender: u say i’m a p shit liar but ur even worse
[23:57] touya <3: Fuck u
[23:57] touya <3: Thats impossible
[23:58] Sender: congrats! uve managed to break a record!
[23:58] Sender: achieving new lows, touya and keigo do it together :3
[23:58] touya <3: My god u need to stfu rn i am never making u food ever again
[23:58] Sender: sure jan
[23:58] touya <3: Bye bitch
[23:58] Sender: sigh i cant believe im dating someone as dramatic as u
[23:59] touya <3: Believe it, dickhead
⋆★⋆
Domestic bliss.
Keigo spent the next few weeks sneaking out of his apartment as the sun set in the background, returning only when the most dangerous people were milling around—but they could never hold a candle to his father, and it was at times like this where Keigo was glad he used to be on the track team. Outrunning a hunky set of thugs was easy work for someone as fast as him.
Touya never told him why he came back, and Keigo was content to turn his eyes away from everything wrong sizzling under the surface. Everyone, after all, turned their eyes away from something or the other. Summer drifted past. The petals shrivelled with the growing cold and the luscious green from the trees bled from the leaves, leaking into the grass below before disappearing into the dirt.
Keigo’s chance for uni came and went. He met up with Rumi, bit his tongue when she asked him why he was so happy. He exchanged conversation with Fuyumi, getting to know her better and her family. Natsuo, however, seemed to be the best Todoroki that he got on with. He hadn’t talked to the boy much at the Todoroki party he’d first seen the young teenager at, but they got on like a house on fire. Natsuo seemed to get him. They had similar kinds of humour and they liked the same sports teams. At times, Natsuo even confided in him about things that no one should know. About why Fuyumi could spot everything wrong with Keigo and could do it so easily. He talked about his brother. He talked about how he missed him. Keigo never got a name, but he wanted to give Natsuo a hug.
So he did. And then he got a hug back. And then he was getting many hugs back.
Keigo finally had a group of friends he could somewhat call home.
Even if his current house was filled with nothing but busted blue and bleeding purple, shattered green glass bottles and the grimy grey stink of cigarette smoke, Keigo could always escape to a place that was warmer. Touya always had dinner ready for him. Sometimes, Keigo would sneak up on him as he cooked in the kitchen, giggling to himself as his fingers snatched at Touya’s sides, pulling annoyed laughs out of the taller nineteen-year-old as he tried to swat Keigo away like a fly.
Keigo would set the tiny TV up, pull all the blankets he could find in Touya’s even smaller apartment to the sofa, and bundle himself into a fluffy ball. Touya never liked sitting with so much around him—he got too warm, no matter what the temperature was outside—but he never said anything as Keigo leaned against him, oblivious to the world as movie after movie played until Touya’s soft snores could be heard next to him.
He’d pull Touya to bed then, lifting him up too easily because Touya was too light for a man of his height. Keigo went home later and later in the evening, until it turned into him leaving for home in the early hours of the day. And then, he found himself pressing his face into Touya’s side, tangling their legs under the sheets and falling asleep right beside him.
Summer came and went, and Keigo wondered if this was what it would have been like if he went with Touya all those months ago. For a few brief seconds, when the apartment was quiet except for Touya’s sleeping breaths, Keigo wondered why he even bothered to stay.
Rumi was gone. Fuyumi was gone. Natsuo was at school and Shouto was about to go to a boarding school in another city. His father hated him. His mother was nothing but a mess. The only thing keeping him here was Touya, and even then, Touya was sure to leave sometime soon. He was sure to return to the place he had run to, and Keigo would be stuck here. Alone.
In the end, Keigo always found himself alone.
⋆★⋆
“When did this happen?”
Touya prodded at his bottom lip with his finger, a thin eyebrow raising and blue, blue eyes watching Keigo’s every flitting expression. He schooled a casual smile onto his face, forced his shoulders into something resembling a shrug, and toed off his worn-out trainers. His jacket fell to the floor, and his arms swung around Touya’s neck, pushing him off balance until they both collapsed onto the sofa. He peppered Touya’s face with as many kisses as he could bear to do, smothering each old, faded scar with chapped lips.
Touya twisted his arms free to push Keigo away, to try to inspect everything like he always did—he always knew. Keigo hated how, no matter what, he always knew. It was like having Fuyumi around again. Only, this time, Touya never turned a blind eye to anything. He wanted to stare as much as possible, find out everything he could to stop it. The thing was, though, Touya couldn’t stop it. If Keigo couldn’t run away by now, couldn’t escape every slap and kick after eighteen years of living, what could a scrawny stick of a man do?
Keigo pressed his lips to Touya’s to distract him. He pulled the mismatched skin between his teeth just in the way he knew Touya liked and slipped his hands, still cold from outside—but it was fine; Touya liked the cold, so it was fine —under his t-shirt, pushing the white fabric up against his chest. He did it until Touya could no longer think about everything wrong with him and could only think about the way Keigo’s hair felt under his fingers.
Keigo shuffled back to pull his own shirt off, but then stopped. His hands froze at the hem, and he bit his lip.
“What’s wrong? Are we going too fast?” Touya asked, sitting up despite how quickly his chest was rising and falling, despite how pink his cheeks were, a rosy flush bleeding down his neck and over his skin. Toga was right; Touya did blush easy.
Keigo let out a honey-glazed laugh, crystal and hollow. “No! I just—”
Touya’s eyes caught his and Keigo’s breath stopped in his lungs. His throat went dry. His fingers fell from their place on his t-shirt. No matter how much he wracked his brain, he couldn’t think of an excuse.
Touya sat up fully until his face was right by Keigo’s again, until their lips were only a brush away and they were sharing the same air once more. Only, it wasn’t heated. There was nothing crackling in the air around them. Touya placed his hands over Keigo’s and pushed them to the side.
“Let me see?” His lips hovered over Keigo’s cheek, dragging over the tanned skin with each hushed word.
Keigo didn’t fight him as Touya peeled the shirt up, exposing the nebula of bruises exploding across his stomach like a dusty cloud of stars. He didn’t make a sound, didn’t gasp or swear like how Keigo thought he would. There wasn’t even a widening of blue eyes or eyebrows disappearing between light hair. Touya had the same face he did when he was reading a book, a finger wandering to his lips to wet before turning the page. He looked like the one time Keigo got a free sudoku puzzle on the train and didn’t know what to do with it, only to come home to Touya’s place and find his boyfriend scarily into it, serious like never before as he pencilled in numbers quietly by the windowsill. He looked like a surgeon analysing a body, assessing each and every thing they would need to do inside their head and making mental lists that Keigo would never have the brain capacity to remember. Or maybe he would. He hadn’t gotten super serious about something in a while.
“It’s nothing,” Keigo said a moment too late, his hands tugging his shirt back down.
Touya stood up and walked away, leaving the cold to rush back into Keigo like a winter wind. He didn’t realise how warm Touya always was. He blinked, his heart sinking for no reason at all as Touya disappeared from his sight.
It was stupid how fast he gave up hope. It was as if he never had any to begin with.
Touya came back a few minutes later, his hands full of things Keigo had only ever seen in the medical aisles in the shops. He let them clatter onto the coffee table as he threw himself back down next to Keigo.
“Take off your top,” he ordered.
“What?”
Touya waved a tube of something in his hands. It was blue. It looked nothing like his eyes. It looked duller, dimmer in comparison. “Take off your top,” Touya told him again, and then when Keigo wasn’t doing anything, he sighed. His head tipped up to the ceiling, exposing the scarred column of his neck. “I swear to god, Kei. I’m just trying to help. I’m not going to hurt you. Take off your fuckin’ top.”
Keigo gulped, and with nimble fingers, he fiddled with the shirt hem once more. Touya, he’d begun to realise over the past few weeks, was a lot more patient than he was. He waited, silently, for things to happen, for the world to somehow kind of work out in his way. He’d waited seven months to talk to Keigo again and didn’t seem at all bothered by it. Meanwhile, Keigo had been dying on the inside, flicking through memory after memory as if they were his new favourite comfort film, replacing the cliche rivals-to-lovers rom-com from before.
Touya waited for him to take off his shirt and didn’t say a word when Keigo finally did, ten minutes later.
“Most of the bruises are old,” Keigo blurted out, trying to defend his father for a reason he didn’t know. “It’s not as bad as it looks. Promise. It doesn’t even hurt.”
Ice-blue eyes squinted as Touya leaned in closer, the cap of the tube in his hands falling to the floor. Touya could be cruel when he wanted to be—it showed through in their texts, in his humour, and it showed through now. “Oh, yeah?” he smirked, the warmth from his eyes falling away as frost took over. His thumb dug into Keigo’s skin, then, into a particularly purple bruise that was so obviously one of the freshest ones visible.
“Ah!” Keigo cried, buckling in on himself to get away from Touya’s hand, from the angry slant of his eyebrows and the thin slit his lips made. “What was that for?”
Touya huffed through his nose. “I told you,” he said, squeezing some of the cream from the tube onto his fingers—the same fingers that had just attacked Keigo. “You’re a shitty liar, Kei. I don’t know why you even try.”
“Shut up,” he snapped back, but his voice was soft. The words barely even left his lips.
Touya heard them all the same. He beckoned for Keigo to come closer, and he did, shuffling across the sofa until he was right next to his boyfriend. The apartment was silent as Touya used the entire tube of cream over Keigo’s bruises, massaging each of them with the expertise of someone who had only been injured equally as badly—if not even more.
He stretched like a lazy cat when he was done, standing up on lanky limbs with a yawn at his teeth. He looked adorable. Keigo couldn’t help but laugh. Touya seemed like a guy who would like cats more than dogs.
He padded away, leaving Keigo to search for his shirt on the floor around him. Only when he found it and sat back up did heavy fabric smack him across the face. Touya cackled as Keigo gaped at him, the beige hoodie that was too big for Touya laying crumpled over Keigo’s feet. It was his favourite hoodie out of everything Touya owned. It looked absolutely massive on him. Keigo was drowning.
He looked at Touya, at the way the other man was bent forward, his arms clutched around his midriff at Keigo’s stupefied expression, at how he seemingly found that funny enough to bring tears to his eyes. He thought of three words. Just like how he’d kept Touya’s re-entry into his life a secret, he kept these close to his chest too. He promised to not be stupid like how he was last time. He didn’t know what he would do if Touya left him for seven months again after saying these.
“Come on!” Touya called suddenly, his hand thrusting in Keigo’s face to haul him up.
He took it. Touya started singing. They danced in the kitchen until Keigo forgot about every bruise on his body, about every scar littering Touya. The hoodie provided a fluffy cloud of cushioning, so Touya could twirl him around as many times as he liked. Keigo kept him dancing until he was a sweaty, skinny mess on the floor, breathless and wheezing like a fallen old man at a 90’s disco.
Touya’s eyes darted up towards him. A hazy smirk slipped over his lips, and he winked.
The words crashed through Keigo’s mind again like a poisonous sugar rush. He kissed Touya senseless to chase them away. He prayed that it was enough.
⋆★⋆
[19:04] tiger bunny: Hey babe
[19:04] tiger bunny: I’m coming back tmr!
[19:05] tiger bunny: Some psycho set Fuyumi’s dad’s car on fire and Yumi’s coming back too
[19:05] tiger bunny: Hope you’re okay!
[19:05] tiger bunny: This city can really be so wack huh?
[19:56] Sender: omg holy shit
[19:56] Sender: ok i know that fucker had it coming but i hope everyone’s ok
[19:56] Sender: esp fuyumi, i know how stressed she can get
[20:09] tiger bunny: Tbh I don’t think she’s doing that well
[20:09] tiger bunny: All throughout our call, she was super distracted
[20:09] tiger bunny: I don’t really know what’s happening but I’m sure the more support she can get, the better she’ll feel!
[20:10] Sender: do u want me to be there tmr? i’m not busy
[20:10] tiger bunny: Kei, I love you. That would be awesome
[20:10] tiger bunny: Tysm!
[20:11] Sender: np!!!
[20:11] Sender: i’m actually so excited to see u guys again!
[20:12] tiger bunny: Sameeee
[20:12] tiger bunny: Video calling really isn’t the same
[20:12] Sender: yeah!
[20:12] Sender: i also haven’t talked to natsuo in ages, hope he’s ok
[20:13] tiger bunny: The entire Todoroki family are going to be there, so you can def ask him
[20:13] tiger bunny: Anw, I’m sorry Kei, but I gtg now
[20:13] tiger bunny: See you tmr!
[20:14] Sender: ttyl!
[10:45] Sender: I just got off the train, where are u?
[10:46] tiger bunny: South exit!
[21:28] tiger bunny: Holy shit
[21:28] tiger bunny: I did not know the Todorokis had *that* kind of history
[21:28] tiger bunny: Natsuo really went off huh?
[21:29] tiger bunny: I’m going to console Yumi, but are u okay? I know some of that hit close to home
[21:29] tiger bunny: Especially because…
[21:29] tiger bunny: Do you really think it could be the same Touya?
[21:30] tiger bunny: Regardless, I hope you’re okay. Just know that I love you, Kei <3
[22:01] touya: Hey u coming round tonight?
[22:01] touya: The currys in the fridge waiting for u
⋆★⋆
Touya jumped as the apartment door slammed open, shaking the walls and the floor. In the doorway, backlit by the fractured hallway light flickering in syncopation behind him, was Keigo. His face and body were completely shadowed with darkness. All Touya could see were gold eyes, furious with crimson rage—a look he’d only ever seen his father give him.
His blood ran cold. The colour drained from his face. Touya wondered if this was the end.
“What the fuck!?” Keigo screamed, his voice rising higher than it ever had been before. It was louder than when he was tipsy and had lost all volume control. It was louder than when Touya pushed him into the floorboards, thin fingers attacking his sides and every ticklish spot he could think of.
Keigo slammed into him and they clattered into the wall, Touya groaning as his back hit worn plaster. Hands fisted into his shirt, tugging him close to Keigo’s seething face, to the sharp teeth that Touya had only noticed when they kissed with too much tongue.
“What”—Keigo drew Touya closer—“the”—their noses were almost touching—“fuck!” His head banged against the wall, thudding loudly. His thoughts shattered.
Touya, on instinct, drew his knee upwards, knocking the air from Keigo’s bruised limbs. They fell to the floor together, broken mirrors of one another that didn’t quite fit together. Their reflections were rippled, out of time. They were trying so, so hard.
“Why did you do that!?” Keigo screamed, leaning over Touya’s frame.
He could feel the familiar prick at the corners of his eyes, the stripped-back burn like a flame to a feather. His hands came down onto Touya’s shoulders, pressing hard into the weak bone structure.
Touya winced. Keigo, like with most things, turned a blind eye to it, too preoccupied with something else.
“Why”—one punch—“does”—another—“everything”—and another—“have to be so fucking dramatic with you?” Keigo sobbed, his fists coming to a rest as his head fell down onto Touya’s chest. His breaths came out as messy shudders. Finally, for once, Keigo was the only one breathless between the two of them. He sniffed. “Please tell me it wasn’t you.” His voice was barely there. Still, like every other time, Touya heard him.
He remained silent, gulped.
Keigo’s face twisted again. The tears spilt over his waterline, down the crevices of his face, between the lines over his cheeks, his nose, everywhere. “First your random outbursts, then your random disappearances. And then, you got fucking stabbed. And then you ran away, leaving me behind, here. Leaving your siblings behind, there. And then you come back and act like everything is okay again. And me, stupid, idiotic, fucking dumbass bird me thought, for a brief moment, that maybe you came back because you lo—liked me. Because you liked me.” Keigo took a deep breath in and raised his head, letting gold catch vacant blue. “But no. You’re here for revenge on your father. You were here to set his fucking car on fire.”
Touya blinked, waited because he was patient—always patient. This was a plan that required patience, after all. It required waiting for Fuyumi to leave and Natsuo to be out of the house and Shouto to be at his new boarding school. It required Touya to be meticulous.
Keigo laughed, an ugly, dry, hollow sound. There was no happiness in the apartment tonight. The air wasn’t golden; it was silver, the same colour as Touya’s piercings, the same colour as his cold stare.
“Say something!” Keigo yelled, shaking Touya’s shoulders for a reaction.
Touya snapped awake. His cheeks regained their colour, but they looked so different from when he was flushed with red hearts. “What do you want me to say!?” he screamed back, equally as loud, equally as tired of the world. “He deserved it. He deserves more than that! I wish he was in the car and burned alive!”
“They know it was you!” Keigo bared his teeth in his boyfriend’s face. “They know you were the one who did it! Enji knows you’re alive. He knows you’re out to get him! He’s looking for you!” His face crumpled again. “And you’re going to leave again. You’re going to leave me here again, and for what? Am I not enough for you? Did you have to burn his fucking car down? Why does everything have to be about the biggest show with you?” He sighed. “I thought you liked me.”
Touya pushed himself up with his hands, startling Keigo and knocking him from his position. “He fucking abused me! He abused Shouto and Fuyumi! He abused my brother, and he’s the reason my mother’s still in a fucking hospital instead of at home, drinking her favourite kind of tea or potting her favourite flowers. He ruined all our lives, and you’re here telling me to let that go? How can you be like everyone else? Your father fucking beats you half to death every time he sees you. How can you not understand why this is so important?”
“Because that’s life!” Keigo shoved himself to his feet and Touya followed until they were standing face to face again, neck to neck, nose to nose, sharing the same air and the same angled eyes. “You’re just ruining everything! Your siblings have moved on. He’s moved on! Why do you have to ruin everything? I thought we could be happy!”
Touya scoffed in his face. “How can you call this happiness? I have to watch you come home every time with a new bruise on your chest or a split lip, or something else equally as traumatising. How can you say this is okay? He’s beating you, and you’re letting him.”
“I’m not letting him,” Keigo whispered back, his gaze dropping. “There’s nothing I can do. No one cares.”
Touya grabbed his shoulders, pulling him even closer until his chin rested on the crown of his head. “Exactly. No one cares, so I’m trying to open their eyes. And I’m starting with my siblings. Only Natsuo can see things clearly, but he’s only sixteen. He doesn’t know everything that happened, and Fuyumi isn’t letting him talk. Shouto’s too young, and the old man has an iron grip around him. I don’t know what else to do.”
“You’re going to leave,” Keigo mumbled into his shirt. “You’re either going to jail or you’re going to disappear. Again. All you do is run away.”
Touya shook his head, tilting down so he was pressing into Keigo’s hair, ruffling it up further, both with his face and his hands. Keigo hated how it relaxed him. He hated how even Touya’s voice was enough to make him stop.
“Come with me,” Touya whispered into his head, his lips moving against his scalp until they were brushing against Keigo’s forehead, marking every bit of skin they could reach.
“I can’t.”
“You won’t.”
Keigo shoved Touya away, rubbing at his eyes to try to clear them. “I can’t.” He huffed. “Why can’t you understand this? I can’t just drop everything and run away. I’m the only one there for my mother, and I don’t know what my father would do without me there.”
“Hopefully die,” Touya snidely cut in.
Keigo frowned and elbowed him, hard. “That’s my dad you’re talking about.”
“Good,” Touya shot back. “He’s a fucking piece of shit, and you know this.” Keigo stormed past him, running out the front door and down the stairs, barely leaving any time for Touya to rush after him, hobbling with his outdoor shoes half-on. “The only one running away here is you!”
“Fuck off, Touya! I’m going home!”
It was the first time he’d called the apartment with his mother ‘home’ since Touya had appeared again. The word felt foreign in that context on his tongue. He ran faster, pushed his feet to burst against the city streets harder. Touya, thanks to his scars, had terrible fitness levels. But he was a stubborn bastard, and when Keigo reached his mother’s apartment, a breathless freak stumbled behind him, leaning heavily against the brick wall. Blue eyes traced his movements, brighter than the flash of street lights over piercings.
Keigo flipped him off and ran to his floor, locking Touya out of the tenement.
In his rush, Keigo had forgotten what time it was. He’d forgotten to use the back entrance and scale through his bedroom window. He’d forgotten what it felt like to open the front door, only to see his father’s sneers leering back and nothing else. His mother sat silently in a chair on the other side of the room. The door clicked behind Keigo.
He realised what a fool he’d been, running away from Touya.
“Hi, Dad,” he said, and regretted it.
⋆★⋆
[12:16] touya: Im going soon
[12:16] touya: R u coming
[12:58] touya: Toga wanted me to bring back a picture of u w cat ears
[12:59] touya: She gave me a blonde pair she has
[16:45] touya: Im coming round
[16:45] touya: I dont care what u say
[16:45] touya: If im leaving, im taking down both our fathers
[16:45] touya: Ppl like them dont deserve to even exist
[16:57] touya: Ok, im breaking in
⋆★⋆
“What are you doing here?” Keigo didn’t bother to look up. All he could see was a black pair of boots, but he knew those boots too well to think they belonged to anyone else.
“Fuckin’ hell, Kei,” Touya breathed, stepping closer when Keigo didn’t tell him to go away. He peeled him off the floor, trying to be mindful every time Keigo winced.
Keigo let the sky wane on, each second passing like a minute and every minute passing like an hour until he had no idea how much time had gone. All he could think about was the way Touya pressed the sponge against his skin, the way he rustled around through the apartment for cream or ointment or anything.
“We don’ have any o’ that shit,” Keigo rumbled through a laugh, his eyes flicking to the wall, away from Touya’s face, from the unreadable expression he knew the other would be making. “Mum thinks it’s a waste of money.”
Touya disappeared. He came back. Keigo was still sitting on the floor, but things he recognised from Touya’s apartment littered the ground. The blue cream was back. Keigo sighed as it was rubbed into his skin.
“I want to die,” he whispered.
Touya’s hands stopped moving. A beat passed. Keigo counted in his head. And then they started again. “Run away with me,” were the only words Keigo could hear next.
Touya’s hands kept moving. Keigo continued counting in his head.
“Can you sing me a song?”
“I don’t have my guitar.”
“I like your voice the way it is.”
“Kei, you’re too cheesy. You’ve been watching too many rom-coms.”
Keigo laughed. His sides hurt. “I like them.”
“Only if you promise me that you’re getting out of here.”
Keigo kept silent. He thought about how, in only a few months, he would be nineteen. He wondered where the time went. He felt like he was seventeen and stupidly in love with a stranger he’d met by chance only yesterday.
Touya started singing a few minutes later, quietly. His hands never stopped moving. Keigo eventually fell asleep.
He woke up to the clattering of pots and pans—and his eyes flashed open. He was on his feet a second later, the aches and pains only settling in a few seconds later, but it was too late by then. Keigo had run out into the living room, and froze.
His mother was nowhere to be seen; he had no idea where she had gone. Usually, she wasn’t gone for this long. Keigo wondered if she had finally run away, now, too.
It made sense. Maybe that’s what she wanted to tell him. He wondered why she didn’t ask him to come along. He wondered why she wasn’t like Touya.
But the scene still made his heart stop. In the middle, clutching onto one of the only kitchen knives Keigo owned, was his father, large teeth bared and glaring at no one other than white hair, blue eyes, complete teenage, rage-filled stupidity. The only thing Touya had to protect himself with was a fucking frying pan.
He thought back to some of the animated movies he’d watched with Touya half-awake by his side. He thought about how that was only a movie and this was real life. In real life, the heroes hardly ever won. In real life, there was no such thing as ‘heroes’ to begin with.
The knife swept through the air in a fluorescent arc. Keigo could see every stripe of colour reflected as if it were a prism. It was pretty for all of a fraction of a second before the harsh clatter of metal against metal sliced through his eardrums, searing across his skin like a lightning bolt.
Touya darted to the side, and then there were two bodies hopping through the apartment, three voices yelling at once, too many loud stomps for the neighbours to ignore this time. If he thought about it, Touya going to jail was something long overdue for him. He’d done countless illegal things; he’d broken into Keigo’s apartment only a few mere hours earlier—or was it longer? Keigo really didn’t know—and he’d set a rich man’s car on fire.
He was going to jail. They were both going to jail. Keigo was going to turn into a criminal just like his father.
He panicked, jumped in the middle. The knife winked. Touya’s eyes widened.
There was a horrifying, thick squelch.
A pair of legs crumpled like a thin paper stack. Red bled everywhere. Keigo’s clothes were ruined forever. It wasn’t even his clothing, he realised. This was Touya’s beige hoodie. His favourite hoodie.
He was never going to be able to wear it again.
“Holy shit,” Touya let out, his chest undulating rapidly. Keigo’s was following it. “Oh, my fucking god. We’ve got to go.” He grabbed Keigo’s wrist, tugging him like a limp doll.
Red blood was crusting on Keigo’s lip, and for once, it was his father’s rather than his own.
His father started screaming from the floor. Keigo turned around before the insults could sink into his memory.
They rushed down the streets together, bloody and bruised, looking like two halves of the same coin now more than ever. Keigo was glad it was dark. He was glad his mother had decided to abandon him to die by his father’s hands.
Touya pulled him into an alleyway to catch his breath, bent over with his palms on his knees and leaving Keigo to prop himself up by the wall.
“I just stabbed my father.” His voice quivered like a leaf in the wind, like a feather returning home.
Touya looked up through sweaty bangs and his mouth slipped into something sinister, cruel like how he looked when his hair was dyed black. “Thanks.”
Keigo fell into a panic attack. Touya’s voice wasn’t enough to pull him out of it.
⋆★⋆
[04:24] Sender: rumi
[04:24] Sender: i need to go
[04:24] Sender: i’ve done something rlly bad and i need to leave
[04:25] Sender: i’m so sorry
[04:25] Sender: i don’t know where i’m going
[04:25] Sender: i’m just sticking with touya
[04:25] Sender: i love u
[04:26] Sender: i hope u visit toga
[04:26] Sender: i rlly want to see u again
⋆★⋆
The curry was cold when he took it out of the fridge. Touya swatted at his hands until he gave in and heated it up. It was only lukewarm when he started eating it again. Touya swatted at him once more, but then shoved him to the side, taking a bite himself. He brought out his guitar, cleaned Keigo and himself up. They fell asleep before he could even strum the strings a single time.
“It’s almost October,” Keigo said one morning.
His phone was charging by the side. Blood had gotten into the cracks across the screen. No matter how hard he scrubbed, they wouldn’t go away.
Touya squinted at him before stuffing a mouthful of cold soba into his mouth. He was leaning against the kitchen counter, letting Keigo rest his legs on the only other chair at the small dining table. “Yeah, that’s how time works, birdie.”
Keigo had been staying at Touya’s place for the past few days. It felt like before—except, lighter and heavier at the same time. Keigo’s father was okay. For the first time in years, Keigo had gotten calls from him. He’d forgotten he even had his number saved.
Touya blocked his father before he could. He whispered words into his ear, pulled his hair back into something pretty, reminiscent of the times Fuyumi would like to play Hairdresser with him. Every day, he looked more and more like the eldest Todoroki brother.
Keigo kissed his cheek. He let his bruises heal. He let the days pass until he thought he was ready to go.
“We’re not very healthy,” he stated while sipping a cup of coffee. Touya preferred tea, but he’d been making coffee every day lately.
“No shit,” he remarked.
Keigo almost choked as he laughed. “No, I mean us, together.” He gulped and set his cup down on the table. “We’re not very healthy.”
Touya stilled, silent. For a second, he looked exactly like Shouto. “Are you breaking up with me?”
“No!” Keigo shot out as his eyes widened. He lunged up from his spot on the chair, his arms flying around him like his hair. He pulled himself right up to Touya’s side, as if their physical distance was the problem and nothing else. “No, no, no! I’m just...observing a fact. It makes sense, when I think about it, but it’s still there. We’re not very healthy together. But we can get better, I think.”
The truth was, Keigo couldn’t bear the idea of letting Touya go. After everything, there was no way he could ever truly say goodbye and mean it once more. They were like vines in the ocean, entangled in everything together until their eyes were consumed with nothing but the sight of the other. He didn’t think Touya could let him go either, and that was how they even started in this position to begin with.
They shared their last dinner in the apartment, their last song, dance and movie. Keigo spent his last few moments there smiling against Touya’s mouth, grinning to himself and ruining their kisses. He left his phone on the kitchen countertop as Touya closed the door, leaving the door unlocked and the key on the floor. Keigo’s phone was broken anyway, and he didn’t think there was anything about it that he would miss. Someone else would find it. Maybe.
It was like saying goodbye as they walked down the street together, hand in hand. Touya was planning on ditching his phone as well just to make sure no one could track them. Before he did so, though, he smirked, his blue eyes sliding to the corners as he glanced at Keigo.
“What?” the blonde asked, suspicious as Touya tilted his phone away.
His fingers tapped over the screen, moving faster than Keigo had ever seen them move before. His guitar case hung over his shoulder, a solid, happy mass that made Keigo only smile. Touya looked strangely normal in the autumn air.
“Nothing,” he replied, and dumped his phone in the passing bin.
It clanged as it hit the bottom, and Keigo pouted. “That’s so unfair!” he whined. “You need to tell me. Boyfriend rights.”
Touya shut him up with a kiss instead, and then they were racing down the street to the train station, trying to trip one another up as they ran to their ride out of town.
Keigo was going to start afresh, and so was Touya. Keigo was going to drag Touya to photograph beaches and on long, scenic walks. He was going to explore the world, the country, the new house. He was going to try everything at least once, and he wasn’t going to feel guilty about it.
But most of all, Keigo was going to loop Touya’s fingers through his own and rest his head on a bony shoulder, closing his eyes as the train tracks rolled by and the yellow sun whispered goodnight.
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[10:23] touya: I love you