Chapter Text
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Chapter 3 - Day 1, Part 2
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the cycle always turns.
I switch off my phone, turning to Lucas. "Right then. Villager's on his way."
The blonde boy pales. "What - already?!"
"Yep." I slip the device into my pocket, hoping we're actually going to meet someone normal, at long last. "I just hope he's not an axe wielding psychopath."
Lucas pales. "An axe wielding psychopath?!"
I shrug. "Can never be too sure, with people these days. Your childhood friend could go on to kill millions, and then travel to the far future, to create a big, dystopian city. I mean, anything could happen."
Lucas gulps, shifting in place. "Well…"
Suddenly, King Dedede bursts through the door, a huge grin on his face. "Hey! Did someone say 'axe wielding psychopath?!'"
I blanch. "Uh - no! I said nothing of the sort! I just said... tax-evading cyclepaths!"
A green dinosaur bounces in, with sound effects. "Tax evasion!?"
"Aw, man…" King Dedede hangs his head, waddling out. "I wanted to murder someone…"
"What's that about taxes?" Villager finally enters the room, looking very tired, and very stressed. And alarmingly short. "Don't tell me I have to pay even more bells. I still have an enormous debt to pay off from home - oh, hello there!"
Yoshi bounces in place. "Yoshi!"
Villager perks up. "Oh, hey! Are you the Mother kids? I must've stumbled into your room by mistake. I was looking for it though, so that's good."
"Ok - yeah, hi!" I extend a hand, awkwardly. "That's us!"
Villager beams, shaking my hand with some vigour. "That's awesome! Fantastic to meet you! Usually I'd now say I've heard so much about you - but, well, since we haven't met yet..."
A sudden sharp whistle from outside interrupts the small boy's words. Yoshi bounces up suddenly at the noise, and hops on outside. Evidently relieved, Lucas shuts the door.
Villager continues babbling on, helping himself to a seat on Lucas's bed. "Well, I'm not sure what that was about! But as I was saying, it's great to meet you - oh my, Lucas, your hair is so cool!" He reaches out and touches its peak, in wonder. Lucas looks distinctly uncomfortable, but Villager doesn't seem to notice. "I wish I had your hair! Instead of mine, mine's just sort of... zig-zaggy. I could cut a tree down with it! But then again, why would I do that, when I have my axe?"
Lucas stifles a nervous laugh, still looking very uncomfortable. "Yeah… uh, your axe?"
Villager whips out a giant axe, grinning like a maniac. "This bad boy! I found it in my wardrobe!"
Lucas shifts as far away from Villager as he possibly can.
"Who are you voting for tonight?" I ask, trying to change the subject.
Villager thinks for a moment, before looking up brightly. "Oh! I'm not sure. Perhaps my roommate. Then I'd get more space! Haha!"
Lucas speaks very quietly, still looking extremely intimated by the axe. "Who's your roommate?"
"Isabelle. She's a dog," he explains, as if that's a perfectly normal thing.
"I have a dog!" I exclaim, narrowly avoiding a voice crack. "He's called King. He's not here, though."
"And I have Boney!" Lucas chimes in, but his expression turns melancholy. "I miss him."
Villager laughs. "Aha! Well, my roommate is actually a secretary called Isabelle. And she keeps charging me on behalf of Tom Nook, for things like walking, and sleeping. It's no fun!"
I frown. "A secretary... who's also a dog?"
"Yeah! That's right. Tom Nook's a… bear? Or he could be a beaver. I don't really know!"
"Oh dear…" Lucas murmurs.
Villager cocks his head to the side. "Now, did you say we look alike, Ness? I don't see it. You're much smaller than me. And I'm better looking, too!"
I fold my arms. "Hey!"
"Come on… admit it. Lucas got all the good genes."
"Oh - we're not related," I say, quickly. "We just met."
Villager shrugs. "Well, they say there's no such thing as two good-looking best friends."
Lucas and I exchange an awkward glance.
"Have you met anyone else here?" I try to set the conversation back on track.
"Oh! Tons of people!" Villager brings out his phone quickly, scrolling through the contact list. "Oh yes! They're all a bit weird, aren't they?"
I laugh, nervously. "Yeah… Just a bit."
"I mean, Nana, Popo, I don't know if they're lovers or siblings, and that really messes with my head. Although, they could be both. But that might be worse - actually, that's definitely worse. Talk about Sweet Home Alabama."
Lucas pulls a disgusted face, edging even further from Villager. "That's gross. I'd never have dated my brother."
"Well, I'm glad we got that cleared up!" Villager laughs again. "There was me, thinking you were all into incest, and everything!"
There's an uncomfortable pause.
Villager sighs, seeing our faces. "Gosh, is this a funeral or something? You look about as depressed as a dead fish. And I tell you, I would know."
I shrug. "Well, there is a big death game going on…"
He pulls a face. "Well, I can't imagine anyone's actually gonna die."
"Someone already has," Lucas mutters, quietly. "We saw it happen."
"Oh." For the first time in what feels like a millennium, Villager falls silent, looking at the ground.
"It was Ridley," I explain. "He jumped off the edge - you know, how this is a floating island, and all? He thought it was the way out. He was wrong."
"Oh," Villager says again. "I'm sorry."
I'm surprised by his sudden tender side. I get the impression he might have experienced some losses of his own. "It's alright, don't worry."
"Yeah…" Subdued, he picks up Lucas's blanket, intending to wrap it around himself, but suddenly he lets out a scream. "AAA! Snake!"
The door opens again, a bearded man with a bandana leaning in. "Yes?"
"Not you! Snake!"
The man frowns. "But that is me."
Rope Snake hisses, sticking his head out.
The man grunts. "Oh. I see."
Villager closes his eyes in terror. "Get it away from me!"
Quietly, Lucas picks Rope Snake up, draping him over his shoulders. "It's alright. He's nice. He's mine."
"He's scary!"
The man in the doorway folds his arms. "That's offensive."
Villager waves his hand. "Go away!"
The man lowers his head, leaving the room. "Oh… okay then."
"You can open your eyes, Villager," Lucas sighs. "I've got him."
Nervously, Villager opens one eye. "Really?"
"Yes. Look."
Villager looks at the snake round Lucas's neck, gulping nervously. "Okay, then."
"How about we get some food?" I suggest. "It's about time."
"That's a great idea, Ness," Lucas says pointedly, standing up.
Villager stands up as well. "I'll come too!"
"Fantastic..."
…
Luckily, the kitchen isn't far. Villager does violate our ears with a couple more awful jokes on the way down, but it's nothing that Lucas and I, being extremely strong-willed individuals, can't handle.
Honestly, I'm not sure what to make of the guy. He's certainly more lively than Lucas, at least, he could be a fantastic baseball opponent, but then again, he's mad. Although somehow, he manages to be more normal than everyone else we've met so far. Which is quite disturbing.
Maybe all the quiet, nice people are all hiding in their rooms? I think to myself, hopefully. Maybe it's not all giant crocodiles and turtles.
We're just finishing making our sandwiches, before an announcement comes on the loudspeakers.
"EVERYBODY! THERE IS 1 HOUR REMAINING TO CAST YOUR VOTES! IF YOU DO NOT VOTE, A RANDOM ONE OF YOUR LIMBS WILL BE REMOVED!"
I gulp.
Peach rushes into the kitchen. "Oh - boys, hello, we're meeting in the lobby."
"Howcome?" Villager asks.
Her face is unreadable. "We're deciding who to vote for."
…
The lobby is packed - packed with everyone, I think. The entire assembly of this competition, I try to count heads for a while but with everyone moving so often, and the innumerable quantity of people, I keep losing count. Lucas and I are a little out of place, standing at the back with our cheese and pickle sandwiches, but it's alright. Villager certainly draws any attention away from us, with his giant axe.
"Alright! Alright, everyone settle down!" Peach exclaims, sounding very stressed. She stands on a table, with two women from the mushroom kingdom that I recognise from the handbook as Daisy and Rosalina. "We're gathered here today, to try and get an idea of what exactly is going on-"
"HEY!" King K Rool exclaims, suddenly. "Who said you're in charge, huh?"
There's muttering amongst the audience.
"I organised the meeting," Peach says, simply. "Did you? No. Therefore, I shall lead."
Mario wolf whistles. Everyone gives him a dirty look.
"So," Peach begins, as I eat my sandwich nonchalantly. "According to the phones, there are 77 of us remaining, exactly. However, there are only 71 icons we can select for voting - it looks like the duck and the dog, Duck Hunt Duo, have been paired up, as well as both of the ice climbers. Then, also, Trainer Red here, is grouped up with 3 creatures."
Trainer Red raises a hand. "They're called Pokémon."
"Right, okay, Pokémon," Peach continues. "So, each round, five people are going to be sent into the arena, right? This means, there will be fourteen rounds, leaving one person left at the end."
Lucas and I exchange a nervous glance.
"What happens to them?" Simon asks, sharply.
"We're not sure," Rosalina replies, calmly. "We are trying to work that out, but that can only happen through operating as a team."
The colourful-haired swordsman gang all break into muttering, glaring at the Mushroom Kingdomians.
"I say, that every day, we should all be working on how to escape," Peach says, looking down intently at the group. "We shouldn't be worrying about the voting, until it comes to that time. We need to find the way out, and we need to find out exactly what's happening here."
"The vote ends in one hour!" Sheik calls out, looking agitated. "We should definitely be worrying about the voting!"
"I say we vote for Bowser!" Ike glowers. "He's caused nothing but trouble!"
"NO!" Bowser roars. "We vote for Ness! He tried to burn me!"
I feel the collective eyes of the group turn to me, and I gulp. "He was attacking Lucas! That's not fair!"
Lucas hides behind me as everyone turns back to Bowser again.
"HEY!" Daisy exclaims from the stage. "Listen to Peach, yah? She's tryna' get us outta here!"
Reluctantly, everybody looks back at the stage.
"For the voting this time," Peach says, sounding harassed. "We should ask if anybody wants to be voted for. After all, the rules did say that the way to escape is to beat Master Hand in the fight, so being voted for isn't all bad, right? So, therefore, does anybody want to volunteer?"
There's silence, before suddenly, a group of three men shout out. "Us!"
Everyone turns in surprise.
"Aha!" Peach checks her phone. "Mii Gunner, Mii Brawler, and Mii Swordsman! That's very kind of you to volunteer. Are you certain?"
"Absolutely!" Mii Gunner declares, grandly. "I will destroy Master Hand, no problem!"
"I will stab him!" Mii Swordsman exclaims.
Mii Brawler cracks his knuckles. "And I will wrestle him to the ground!"
"Great!" Peach smiles. "Well, that's three out of five. Any other volunteers?"
A green-haired lady gracefully raises her hand, stepping forwards. "I volunteer myself. As Goddess of Light, and the ruler of Angel Land, it is my responsibility to sacrifice myself for the good of the people."
"Lady Palutena!" A young boy with angel wings cries out. "I cannot let you do that!"
She looks down at him sternly. "I must, Pit. You have made countless sacrifices for me, and for many others, and now it is my turn to do the same."
"But-"
"Hush now, Pit. And that's an order. I will defeat this Master Hand, and free us all."
Pit turns away, very much distressed, as Peach raises her eyebrows.
"Are you certain, Lady Palutena? That you wish to risk your life?"
Palutena nods. "I am."
"Great!" Daisy exclaims, as though it's people volunteering to wash up at summer camp. "Now, one more person!"
Unfortunately, this time, nobody raises their hand. I nervously spill pickle down my front.
Daisy frowns. "Aw, shucks. Nobody?"
"How about you?" Mewtwo grumbles. "So keen to throw everyone else in…"
"Me?" Daisy gasps. "No way! I can't fight one bit!"
Suddenly, Samus steps forwards in her robo-suit, looking flatly at the ground. "I shall go."
Peach's face pales. "Samus?"
"Yes, me."
"Are you - are you sure?"
Samus nods. "Yes, Peach. With Ridley gone, my purpose here is complete. So I must move onto the next battle, which shall be against Master Hand."
"If - if you're completely certain."
"BIAS!" Ganondorf accuses, furiously. "Peach, you biased wench-"
"Why aren't you volunteering?" Link demands, suddenly. "You're immortal, Ganon. You could save us all!"
"Bah. You think I'd want to save all of you? Miserable bunch. Never."
"Well, you could save yourself," Peach cuts in, hopefully. "If you defeat Master Hand, you wouldn't have to be anywhere near this miserable bunch ever again."
Ganondorf's eyes flare with rage. "You wish me to sacrifice myself? Do the right thing?"
Link grins, smugly. "I see! You are too weak!"
"I am not weak!" Ganondorf shouts. "Fine! I shall destroy Master Hand, and those swordsmen - and the rest of you too!"
"Then, it is decided," Peach says, evenly. "People whose names begin with A, B, C, or D, vote on your phones for Mii Gunner. E, F, G, H and I, vote for Mii Brawler. J, K, L, M, cast your ballots for Mii Swordsman. N, O, P, Q, R, for Palutena, and everyone else, vote for Ganondorf. Is that clear?"
Samus looks up. "What about me?"
"You live," Peach says, simply. "Alright! Everybody, cast your votes."
"Yes! Cast your votes!" The speaker booms. "Only ten minutes remain!"
Hastily, everyone brings out their devices. I search for Palutena's name, and I press it down.
The screen freezes momentarily: Do you wish to confirm your vote?
I hit yes.
Vote cast. Thank you for your participation in this survey.
"The Pokémon - they can't understand English," Trainer Red says, suddenly. "I'll go tell them what to do."
"And I'll tell the dog and the duck," Wolf says, harshly. "I speak dog."
Nearby, the 2D man spams his screen with his round fist, having no success. "Darn! Somebody, please assist!"
I go over, quickly. "What's your name?"
He turns to face me, causing him to disappear in my line of vision. "Mr Game and Watch!"
I take his phone, and press Mii Gunner. "There you go."
"Thank you!"
"Is everyone done?" Peach asks the group, calmly.
There's shouts of assent from the crowd.
"Great! Then, hopefully, if everyone has voted correctly…" Peach gives Bowser a dirty look. "Our volunteers will be selected. And the-"
"ALL VOTES ARE CAST!" Master Hand interrupts, gleefully. "ENTER THE CHAMBER, AND LET'S SEE WHO EVERYONE HATES THE MOST!"
Peach tries to continue, but she's pushed from the stage in the scuffling and bustling as everyone pounds towards the arena. I try to stick close to Lucas in the crowds, and I try not to worry too much. What if Bowser and his cronies vote for me to fight? I can't beat an immortal! I gulp. I just have to hope that Peach's idea works.
Stepping into the arena is like stepping into the Olympic stadium. It simply takes my breath away - stands circling endlessly round, pure, angel-white seats, complete with cushions and drinks holders. In the corner of the array stand two jet black doors, sealed tight with a golden padlock, contrasting the pure white light pouring through the open roof, beaming down onto the immense scene before us.
But most impressive of all is the stage - situated in the centre, floating on seemingly nothing, there floats two islands. One seems to be a temple, with Greek architecture sealing dark catacombs beneath, the other, layers of grassy platforms, all piled around a glistening waterfall. Unfortunately, the islands are connected only by a timid looking bridge, hanging perilously over the nothingness below. The Void itself. I gulp. I wouldn't like to be crossing that.
I quickly sit down, feeling quite daunted by it all. Lucas sits besides me, and Villager on his other side. Mysteriously, a different blonde who I don't recognise sits next to me also, but I don't have time to say hello, before the speakers erupt with Master Hand's voice yet again:
"WELCOME TO PALUTENA'S TEMPLE! THIS IS WHERE TODAY'S BATTLE SHALL TAKE PLACE!"
"By the heavens! How can this be here?" Palutena asks, in bemusement.
"IT'S AN EXACT REPLICA. NOW, SHUSH. SHEESH. ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN HOW BATTLING WORKS-"
"What if we refuse to fight?" Ganondorf snarls. "Not that I will. I'm not a coward!" The beast-like man glares at a smug Link.
"THEN YOU ALL LOSE. NOW, EVERYONE WILL BE CONCRETIFIED! THAT MEANS YOU SUSTAIN NO PHYSICAL DAMAGES FROM THE FIGHT, AS GORE ISN'T VERY FAMILY FRIENDLY."
"Then how on earth does anyone win?" Mii Brawler shouts, angrily.
"YOU LOSE WHEN YOU FALL OFF THE EDGE. ALSO, EVERYONE WHO IS IMMORTAL, IS NO LONGER IMMORTAL. SURPRISE!"
"Hey!" Ganondorf exclaims. "Impossible!"
"TOO BAD."
Peach sighs. "Can we just get on with it?"
"YES, OKAY. LET THE FIRST VOTING CEREMONY, OF SMASH ULTIMATE… BEGIN!"
A/N
Well, well. A lot of things are going on here! I wonder who will win the fight? And for that matter, who will be in it?
I had a peek at the stats for this fic, and they're really looking nice! Thanks so much to everyone reading! I'm glad you enjoy my chaos :)).
Reviews:
Gregorian12: Thank you for the feedback! I was actually going for the idea that Samus cared about Ridley's death - because she wanted to be the one to finish it off. But also, there's the view that she did offer him friendship, initially, and perhaps she never let that go. I decided to leave it open to interpretation.
AO3 commenters: (wow there's a lot of you-) I'll respond to all your comments using the reply function, that FFN for some reason lacks. Thanks for all the kind words from everyone though!
Thanks also to the people who joined the Super Smash Prose discord server, for more information see the A/N of chapter 2.
~ReadyForTeddy