Chapter Text
On Alex’s eleventh birthday, we gave him a drum kit. His doctor had suggested it as a way for Alex to deal with his anxieties. He and his father worked all morning, putting that kit together. It was probably the last time I saw Alex and his father connect and work together on a project.”
“It was the last. He barely spoke to me after that,” Alex said.
Julie turned to Alex, tears welling in her eyes. She could see him breaking.
“I have a wonderful picture of Alex sitting at his drums after they were all assembled. It’s in the other room. I can show it to you in a bit,” Mary continued.
We’d love to see it,” Flynn said.
“When Alex started puberty-“ Mary began.
Alex was shocked and blushed a bit at his mom saying the puberty.
Mary continued, “His attitude and demeanor changed. He became much more secretive and was hanging out with this group of boys, of whom we strongly disapproved. He started lying and sneaking out. He thought he was so clever and quiet, but I knew. I knew everything. Or so I thought. I was sure he and his friends were doing drugs and drinking.”
Alex couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“Man, was she wrong,” Luke said with a laugh.
“I found out later that he and his friends had formed a band. Sunset Curve, they were quite good.”
“GOOD? We were incredible. We were going to be legends,” Luke said
Julie turned and gave Luke a look asking him to quiet down.
“Alex was out all day one Saturday, and I had to know what was going on. So I went into his room and searched it from floor to ceiling. I was expecting to find drugs, but what I found was, in my opinion at the time, the worst possible thing I thought I could find, a gay magazine. I had been raised to believe that homosexuality was the most grieves of all sins. Those ‘those people’ were weak and were lured into that lifestyle by the devil. Harold and I sat in the living room and waited for Alex to come home. The longer we waited, the more our anger grew, and by the time he got home, we were in a rage. I showed him what I had found and demanded an explanation. We attack him, told him how disgusted we were. We never gave him a chance. Harold finally kicked Alex out and told him not to come back before slamming the door in his face.”
“WHAT? That’s not what happened, mom. Tell them the truth,” Alex shouted as Luke tried to comfort him.
“That’s not how it happened, Mary.” Alex’s dad said as he entered the room.
“Harold?” Mary said softly.
“It’s been 25 years. I need to tell my truth about what happened that night,” Harold said after hugging Sara. Turning back to Flynn and Julie, he asked, “Do you girls mind if I joined you for a few minutes?”
“Not at all, Mr. Mercer,” Flynn answered.
As Harold took a seat, Mary made the introductions.
“That night is the darkest day of my life. A parent's most important job in life is to love their children unconditionally, and that night, I failed Alex completely. By the time Alex got home, I had worked up so much anger, Alex didn’t have a chance. I wasn’t capable of hearing anything he had to say. When he finally did try to defend himself, I lost it. I grabbed him by the collar and dragged him to the door and down the front steps.” Everyone could hear the catch in Harold’s voice. After a pause, He continued. “I struck him and threw him on the ground. Then,” Harold paused, “Then I kicked him and told him he was dead to me. The look on Alex’s face is something I will never forget. It haunts me to this day. Alex was my son, and I threw him away.”
By the time Hearld had finished, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. Sara reached over and rubbed circles on her dad's back.
“You never told us that. You never told us he kicked you,” Luke said softly.
“I must have blocked that out. I only remember being hit. The rest is just a blur. The next thing I remember is being at our studio,” Alex answered.
Harold looked at Julie and Flynn. “I hope you girls can believe me when I say I am not that person anymore and that if there were any way I could change things, I would,”
“We do,” Flynn said with a caring smile.
Julie glanced at Alex before she said, “I believe that just admitting to what you did out loud has already changed things.”
“I believe you, Dad,” Alex said quietly. Turning to Julie, he said, “I can see the pain in his eyes.”
“Well,” Harold said as he stood up, “I think I’ll take my leave and return to my TV. Thank you for allowing me to tell my story. It was a pleasure meeting you both.”
“Thank you, Mr. Mercer. It was nice meeting you too,” Flynn said.
Julie turned to Mary and asked. “Did you ever see Alex after that night?”
“No,” Alex said.
“Yes, I did.”
“Yes? What does that mean?” Alex asked.
“I went down to the pier the following weekend to get some fish from the fish market. I was surprised when I saw Alex and his band there. I listened for a while, and they were good.
“Again with the good. We were AWESOME, Mary,” this time, it was Reggie who was objecting.
“That’s the last time I saw him. Three months later, he and two of his friends died. It was just before they were to play the biggest show of their young lives. They died because the hot dogs they ate that night turned out to be contaminated with battery acid. After Alex’s death, our lives and marriage completely fell apart, and we separated. I was lost and questioning everything. I searched for answers from my church and God. I talked to the Pastor of my Church. A man who told me that Alex’s death was God's way of ‘saving’ Alex from his life of sin.”
Flynn and Julie both gasped after hearing that, “He said that?”
“Yes. That hurt me so much. At that point, I knew I needed help. I was lucky enough to find a support group for parents of children who had died. I remember the first meeting I attended. I told them I wasn’t sure I belonged there because my son hadn’t died from some disease or accident. He had died because he was gay. Well, to say the other parents were shocked to hear me say that is an understatement. They pointed out that the other two boys were straight.”
“Well, I’m not sure straight is the right word for you two,” Alex said.
“That’s fair,” Reggie said, and Luke agreed, which forced Julie to stifle another laugh.
“After that meeting, one of the women, Felicity, took me aside and told me about Pflag. I was resistant to the idea of ‘that kind of group,’ but she wore me down. The following Monday, I went to my first Pflag meeting. It took me a while to understand what they were saying. That homosexuality was not a sin that gay people were born that way, and it wasn’t a choice. It was the first place and the first time I ever spoke to an openly gay person. It helped, and it hurt. It helped me to see that Alex was not a mistake. He had not been lured into sin by the devil. And it broke me when I realized how much Alex must have struggled and how much we had let him down. Through Pflag, I began to heal, and I became an activist. I remember the first pride parade I marched in with the Pflag group. I was scared. But I felt empowered by the crowds and the people I met. I knew at that moment what I had to do with the rest of my life. I don’t think I will ever forgive myself for what happened to Alex, but I will do my best to see that it doesn’t happen to another family. I have been amazed at the changes in our society, but we still have a lot of work to do.”
Alex was just barely holding it together, listening to his mother’s story.
“How did Mr. Mercer become involved in Pflag, and what brought you back together?”
“It was several months after I started going to the Pflag meets, I was running late. When I walked into that meeting, I was shocked to see Harold sitting at a table looking terrified. He was told about Pflag by a co-worker of his who he found out was gay. I sat down next to him and placed my hand on top of his. He looked up at me, and I could see the relief in his eyes at seeing me there. I introduced him to everyone. After the meeting, we went and had coffee together and talked. Slowly with the help of Pflag, we came back together. We will never get Alex back, but we will continue our work with Pflag.”
“Wow. That was quite a story,” Flynn exclaimed. “I think you’ve answered all of our questions unless anyone else has a question?” She said as she turned toward Julie.
Julie looked at Alex, “No, I’m good,” Alex answered.
“Can we look at some pictures before we go?” Julie asked.
“Oh, yes,” Mary exclaimed. After Julie and Flynn packed up all of their stuff, the group moved to the entryway. Alex’s dad soon joined them. “This first group is Sara, her husband Charlie, and their kids.”
Julie and Flynn both gushed over the cute baby pictures. Moving to the next group, Sara pointed at the two babies her mom was holding. “And these are the oopsy twins,” She said with a laugh.
“Sara, You know they hate it when you call them that” Mary tried to sound shocked, but everyone could see her amusement.
“Why do you call them the oopsy twins?” Julie asked.
“Because nine months after mom and dad got back together, the twins were born. Oopsy,” Sara said with a mischievous smile. Everyone laughed.
“This is Owen and his wife, Savannah, and their daughter, Carrie,” Mary said, pointing at the first twin. “And this is Pierce and his husband, Milo, and their twin sons, Wyatt and Zed.”
“Husband?” Reggie asked, a little confused.
“Husband? So you had another gay son?” Julie asked Mrs. Mercer. “I’m sorry. That sounded wrong.”
Mary smiled, “We were blessed. We raised the boys to know the truth about all sexualities. When Pierce came out to us at thirteen, I think we might have overdone our celebration.”
“Might have?” Sara laughed. “You threw him a coming-out party. Complete with gifts and a rainbow cake. And I still say thirteen is too young to give a child ‘those kinds’ of gifts. Owen and I were both jealous we didn’t get a coming-out as straight party.”
Mary chuckled and blushed. “Okay, okay. We did overdo it.”
“What did she mean, those kinds of gifts’” Reggie asked.
“I think that is a discussion for later,” Luke replied.
“Pierce’s husband, Milo, is a wonderful addition to our family. They met at college. And their wedding…I don’t think I can find the right words to describe It except to say it was perfect. Harold and I will be driving to San Francisco in two weeks to visit Pierce and Milo and our two new little grandsons.”
“It was a moving ceremony,” Sara added. “Alex’s memory was honored and present. We could feel his spirit.”
“I wish I had been there to enjoy it,” Alex quipped.
“And Alex’s pictures,” Julie asked.
“Those are in the living room,” Mary said, leading the way.
“That’s right. You haven’t seen Alex’s shrine,” Reggie said with a chuckle.
“Shut up, Reggie,” Alex responded with a laugh as the group moved to the living room, where Julie and Flynn Once again gushed over the baby pictures.
“I was a cute baby, wasn’t I?” Alex said with pride.
Julie rolled her eyes at him. Then turning her attention to the shadowbox frame said, “This must be his band. Sunset Swerve, was it?”
“Julie!” The three ghosts shouted.
“Sunset Curve,” Harold corrected as he came in and joined them again.
“That’s the picture of Alex’s first time at his drum kit that I told you about,” Mary said. “And those are the drumsticks that Alex was going to use at their show at the Orpheum. And in the center is their demo CD and the band's picture. That’s Alex on the left. Bobby is next to him. He’s the one who survived by not joining the others to get hotdogs. He’s also the one who gave us the drumsticks Alex was going to use. On the right is Reggie. He was a sweet boy.”
“Ahh, that’s nice,” Reggie said with a big grin.
“Sweet, but a bit odd,” Sara added.
“HEY, words hurt,” Reggie said as he started to mope.
Luke pulled him into a hug. “And we love our odd Reggie.” Alex nodded in agreement.
Julie pointed at Luke, “Who’s he?” She asked.
“That’s Luke. The lead singer and songwriter for the band,” Mary answered. “And Alex’s boyfriend.”
“What?” Reggie shouted in shock. “Boyfriend? You guys lied to me. You were doing it.”
“Calm down, Reggie,” Luke said. “ How does she know I was your boyfriend, Alex?
“How do you know they were boyfriends?” Julie asked.
Mary walked over to the hall closet and pulled a white wooden box covered with butterflies and glitter from the top shelf.
“Oh shit,” Alex whispered.
“What, what’s in the box, Alex?” Luke asked.
“When I finally got around to cleaning out Alex’s room, I found this box hidden in the very back of Alex’s closet. It’s full of love notes the boys wrote and passed to each other at school.” Mary said as she opened the box.
“You kept them,” Luke asked. “All of them?”
“Of course, I kept them. It was all I had left after we broke up.” Alex answered sadly.
“Will you read one to us?” Flynn asked.
“NO NO NO NO,” Alex shouted. “Julie, make her stop.”
“Of course,” Mary said as she opened the box and pulled out a note, and looked at it. “But, not that one. That one’s a bit too graphic.” She said as she dropped it back into the box.
Alex threw his head back and sighed, “Kill me now.” He quickly held his hand up to block Reggie. “Don’t even say it. I’m well aware that I’m already dead.” Reggie just sighed.
Mary pulled out a second note that she deemed acceptable and began to read, “Lex, I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. You’re kisses make me dizzy. You are all I need. I love you, ….Luke.”
“Wow, Luke, You write amazing songs, but when it comes to love notes….You suck.”
“Shut up, Reggie,” Luke said with a chuckle. “I suppose you could do better?”
“I know I could,” Reggie retorted.
Alex spoke before the others could continue their ridiculous argument. “That was the first time you told me you loved me,” He turned to meet eyes with Luke,
Luke was about to respond when he saw the look of shock in Julie’s eyes, “I think we should discuss this at a later time.”
“Mary, may I ask you one last question?” Flynn said.
“Of course,” Mary said with a nod. “Anything.”
“If Alex hadn’t died, do you think the two of you,” She said, gesturing to Mary and Harold, “ would have accepted him as gay?”
Mary answered quickly, “ Yes. I know we would have. Underneath our anger and disappointment that night, we still loved Alex unconditionally. We were saddled with our preconceived notions as to how boys and girls were supposed to be. We made a horrible decision that night. One, we can never fully forgive ourselves for. And we are doing everything we can to change the lives of gay kids and their families. I hope you can believe that.” Harold agreed.
“Thank you for being so open with us and answering all our questions,” Flynn said.
“I wish there was some way that I could talk to them, to tell them I’ve heard everything they’ve said. And…” Alex paused. “And, that I know now, that they never stopped loving me. Julie, can you say anything to let them know?”
Julie thought about it and shook her head. “I don’t think so,” she whispered.
“But do you forgive them?” Luke asked.
After a moment, Alex said, “I don’t know…. I think it’s time for us to poof back to the studio.” Then, turning to Julie, he said, “I guess there won’t be any more surprises here today.”
“Um…..Alex.”
“Yeah, Reg?”
“There may still be another surprise,” Reggie said, and Alex followed his gaze to see Zander, his six-year-old nephew.” He looks like he can see you.”
Alex thought the same thing but knew that couldn’t be true until he smiled at the boy and Xander smiled back. Alex dropped to one knee as Xander took a few steps toward him. “Hi,” he said.
“Hi,” Xander replied. “Who are you?”
“I’m your uncle Alex.”
“Really?” Xander exclaimed.
Alex nodded. He looked down and saw the little stuffed ghost Xander was holding. It was the same one Alex had seen on the bed in his old room. The one that Luke had given him.
“It looks like Xander has found someone to talk to,” Sara said with a laugh. Turning to Flynn and Julie, she continued. “He seems to have a lot of invisible friends.” Who are you talking to, Boo?” She called to the boy.
“It’s Uncle Alex,” Xander replied. There were gasps from the members of Alex’s family. Alex saw the surprise on their faces.
Alex flinched as Xander suddenly reached out to touch him, afraid of how the boy would react as his hand passed through Alex. But it didn't, and Alex felt the warmth of Xander’s touch. He couldn’t resist as he pulled the boy into his arms and hugged him. Suddenly Alex felt the tingling of his skin. The same tingle the guys felt when Julie hugged the boys and freed them from Caleb’s curse. The same tingle that made them visible to Ray and Carlos. Julie’s dad and brother. Another gasp came from his parents and sister. Alex held Xander and stood up.
“Alex?” Mary said, with a shudder.
“Um…hi, mom, dad, Sara,” He said, pausing to make eye contact with each one. I’ve heard everything you’ve said today, and I want to tell you…….I’m proud of everything you’ve done with Pflag, and…. I love you too.”
“Alex, I am so sorr…” his dad started to say but broke down in tears, unable to finish.
“I know, dad, I know.” Then turning to his right. “Yea, I’ll tell her,” Alex said before turning back to look at his sister. “Sara, Reggie would prefer if you referred to him as eccentric instead of odd.”
Sara let out a laughing sob, “Yes, tell him I will refer to him that way from now on.”
“He heard you,” Alex could feel himself beginning to fade, so he quickly put Xander down, so he didn’t drop him. He looked back to his family, “I wish I could stay and talk things out with you, but I can’t. I need to tell you that….. I love you and…and I forgive you. Now all of you need to forgive yourselves.”
His family just barely heard the last words as Alex faded from their site. Mary turned to Flynn and Julie and said, “Thank you, girls. I don’t know how you did this, but thank you.”
The group shared more hugs and tears before Flynn and Julie made it to the door.
Mary smiled, “Goodbye, girls.”
Julie waited until she was sure the door was completely closed and locked before she spoke to the boys, “I hope you got some of the answers you needed,” she said to Alex softly.
“I did,” he responded “ Thanks, Julie.” He gave her a big hug.
“Good. That makes me so happy,” Julie said before turning to the other two. “When I get back to the studio, we are going to have a conversation about some of the things I learned about you guys. So get ready for a long night.”
“Yes, Julie,” The three ghosts responded before poofing away.
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Two weeks later, Harold and Mary were driving the freeway from Los Angeles to San Francisco, utterly unaware of the three teenage ghosts crammed into the backseat of their Mini Cooper.
“Explain to me again why we have to ride all the way instead of just poofing directly to your brother's house?” Luke asked.
“First of all, I told you guys that you didn’t have to come with me,” Alex answered. “Secondly, I’ve told you several times that Julie and Flynn weren’t able to find any information as to where Pierce and Wyatt live in San Francisco.” Luke and Reggie went back to fighting over their personal space. Alex turned his gaze back out the window. What would he find when they got there? What would married life look like for Pierce and his husband? Alex was full of questions, so many questions.