Chapter Text
He didn’t know how many times he had dreamt of her. This had to have been the twentieth. All those sleepless nights ticked away with thoughts of the past, the trauma that befell him, the misgivings his life had accrued. The only reprieve he got were the few hours where his mind reluctantly drifted away into a serene nothingness. Except it wasn’t nothingness at all, because she was there. And all those waking moments spent worrying of what was to come, faded as his thoughts centered on the main source of his fear...Aerith.
Her green eyes glimmered brightly as she talked casually with him. She told him bits and pieces of her childhood, what it was like living in the Shinra building. It was more or less the same spiel every night, paraphrased by vetting syntax. But he listened carefully each time, studying the way she clasped her hands in front of her, the way her brunette strands, spun up in a long ponytail, swayed around her thin frame. She was always beautiful as she looked out over the horizon of flowers, watching the toxic flumes drift up into the sullied air of Midgar.
Though it had been a while since he’d last seen her, she stayed like that, perfectly preserved in his mind. He could visualize the rounded souls of her brown boots, the clean-cut nails lining each tip of her slender fingers, and the small set of lips the contrasted pink against her alabaster skin. Every detail was there for him to ponder, for him to gawk at if he dared. But never to touch. It was unimaginably frustrating. Cruel really. How could she stand there in front of him, so beautifully beckoning, and still be so far?
From the first dream he had had of her, she would come close, talking of love and how he couldn’t be part of it for her. He wanted to tell her she was wrong, but then she would lay her hand so softly along his cheek and her mesmerizing gaze would lock with his, and any of the few words floating along the wavelengths of his subconscious flatlined and fell out of reach. And when she had released him from her allure and let the cold reality of her absence caress his cheek in her wake, his hand had acted on its own accord. Reaching for her, craving her touch, his fingers drifted right through, wafting her image into aqua glitter for only a second. His heart had dropped at the realization, but determination kept him from accepting this unfortunate fate.
When he had gotten a second opportunity to touch her the following night, he was overzealous, having waiting until just the right moment to reach his hand out and grab her. Once again, nothing; and the intensity at which his heart dropped grew at every passing of his hand through her intangible image. With each attempt, his sadness turned to anger until his dreams had shifted from stressless escapes to missions he was intent on conquering.
Now, as he squeezed his eyes tightly shut and waited for her dreams to pull him under, he was adamant on changing its course.
Images of her slowly manifested as his clunky boots crunched along the delicate, grassy pathway that lead to her. She was just as gorgeous, just as bright as always. It infuriated him. Her pretty smile mocked him, her sweet laughter tormented him, and if she dared touch him again, teasing his disability, he would surely snap!
Her conversation followed its typical pattern, from childhood stories to grateful memories of their time together, he braced himself for the steps she would inevitably take towards him. He was sick of her speeches, always sounding much too grim to be tainting her youthful tone with its somber subtleties. He was done with her attempted goodbyes. His ears yearned for a hello; a chirpy, sing-song hello that only she could manage to pull off. The hellos that fed his heart with a sickly sweet warmth that spread throughout his body, easing his mind and soul.
With a careful step of each brown boot, it was time. Aerith made her way towards him with a gentleness that held his attention on her, on the thoughtful nature of each movement, on the kindness that burst from her heart...
Thoughts of her impending touch threaded anger into his veins until he was almost trembling by the time she stopped directly in front of him. It was completely unfair, whatever force had afforded her the permission to touch him without effort. It wasn’t fair! Not at all! The effort he had extended into this moment was exhausting and fears of failure drilled into his brain, threatening to imprint there and ruin his progress.
His eyelids narrowed along mako-infused orbs, the road to success lining up in his mind’s eye. This would be it or it would be the last time he ever slept again. After this, anymore dreams of her without contact would only drive him over the edge. It was a steep edge to fall over...
Her warning words about falling in love with her hit him like a truck, and he struggled to keep the breath in his lungs. His heart pounded under the weight of her statement, and he looked away from her despite himself, wrestling with the rage boiling beneath his skin. He was beyond tired of hearing her talk!
The distraction kept him occupied and he cursed himself as her fingers slipped along his cheek and startled him with their spark. As much as he tried to resist it, his anger dissipated, melting away by the heat of her touch until all that was left was the pitiful prayer he clung to. Tired eyes locked with hers, and he hated himself for the way he leaned into her palm, basking in the peacefulness she brought him.
And then her hand fell away and his eyes shot open wide, alert and determined in their goal. His entire body was pumped full of adrenaline as he acted on instinct, willing himself to make contact with her. Reaching out, he swiped his hand through the air, teetering on the thin line between boldness and insanity. Work! Work!
And with a crushing disappointment encasing his chest, he watched his hand pass right through her, mimicking every time before it. He wanted to cry to scream out loud as she began her retreat. But something hot and powerful burned in him. Maybe hatred at the hand fate had dealt him; maybe envy at her gifted digits; mostly despair at the emptiness of her loss.
No...NO....
He broke from his usual course of action and reached out for her once more. Commanding himself to touch her, willing his body to feel hers, his hand reached out with a reinvigorated eagerness and grabbed for her arm. Any thoughts of failure were erased from his mind, banned from inhibiting it as he focused all his efforts on making contact with her.
Cloud froze as his gloved fingers landed on something solid, something tender and fleshy, something palpable and real!
Aerith gasped, emerald orbs wide as they locked with his.
Casting away the shock that burst through his body, Cloud tightened his fingers around her wrist and yanked her forwards. The success of his final attempt lifted all the dread from his body and suddenly, he was free of the anxiety that had begun to tarnish the slumbering scenarios with his dream girl.
Relief flowed through his system, calming the madness creeping along the fibers of his being.
“Cloud...” Aerith trailed off, seeming to have found a relief of her own.
Her chest bobbed up and down in quick motions and Cloud yanked her once more until she stumbled into him. What had he been planning to do, all those times he reached for her? What had been his purpose for wanting it so badly in the first place? But as her floral perfume carried itself deep into his lungs, and the length of her slight frame lined with his, his mind quieted.
“You don’t get to decide for me,” his stern voice emanated from his chest, the coldness in its tones muted by the gentleness in which he regarded her.
Aerith only stared at him, her bright eyes flitting back and forth between either of his. Her fingers rose above her shoulder, landing their torturous contact along his cheek. Her thumb, delicate as a rose petal, swiped along the bone there.
“You always paint yourself as the tough guy, but really you’re just...sweet...kind...” the words fell from hers lips stained with admiration.
Cloud swallowed hard, something in his chest drumming harder than usual. Placing a hand tenderly over hers, he wound his fingers around hers and took her hand from his cheek. Moving it in front of his lips, he bowed his head and pressed a lingering kiss to her knuckles.
Beneath heavy lids, he gazed at the pretty brunette, catching her dazzling orbs and keeping them glued to his.
“Well I’m your bodyguard, aren’t I?”
For a moment, she was silent, still as she stared at him. A twitch of her lips lit up her face in a small smile, and a soft giggle rang from her lips.
“That’s right,” she confirmed.
Cloud’s thin lips pulled up with just the slightest movement at the sound of her laughter. And then a moment of silence stilled them as they stayed locked in one another’s gaze. Cloud memorized every inch of her face, from the soft point of her chin to the perfect contours of each brow. His brain had constructed an image of her so detailed that he was impressed by his own memory.
His gloved fingers were at her cheek then, providing her the same tenderness she had given him every night for the past week. Aerith didn’t smile, didn’t budge, as he cupped her cheek with all the gentleness he could muster. Briefly, he wondered if he had done something wrong. Maybe, changing things hadn’t been a good idea in the end. But his palm lingered there, feeling the warmth of her burn through the leather and berating himself for keeping such an unnecessary barrier between them.
As if she had read his mind, Aerith reached up, taking his hand cautiously in either of hers, and pulled at his glove.
Cloud tensed as she tugged the material away, eyes watching his carefully as she did so. Swallowing hard, he fought his nerves down as the bottom half of his hand appeared bare. A small intake of breath stilled Aerith’s movements as she studied him for signs of upset. Quietly clearing his throat, Cloud steeled himself and shot her a confident stare, wordlessly urging her to continue. He wanted this. He wanted to touch her, to feel her skin on his. To say he had dreamed of it would be nothing more than a cruel irony...
Slowly, Aerith pulled the glove from his hand, revealing the long, slender fingers beneath. The black glove fell to the grass beneath them contrasting its darkness against the buttery flowers surrounding their feet.
For the first time, Aerith’s delicate fingers touched his, traced along ever digit, and he reveled in the softness of her skin. Breath coming quicker, Cloud studied the way she handled his bare hand, marveling at the surprising smoothness she came in contact with.
Pulling his hand up closer, Aerith guided it to her cheek and pressed his palm firmly into its warmth. Cloud gasped softly, sucking a quick breath through parted lips. Her skin had always been pleasant, but feeling it without the barrier of his glove was something entirely different. As he began to swipe his thumb along her cheek bone in gentle, fluid motions, he could feel the suppleness, the elasticity of her youth. He could feel her bodily warmth seeping into his skin and creeping along his veins.
Catching her gaze, her radiant emeralds swirled with curiosity, with wonder as her eyes flicked to every facet of his face questioning...wanting...
Cloud’s heart pounded against his rib cage but his composure kept cool as her eyes reached his, peering deep into their depths, reading him like a book. His breath hitched in his throat as she explored his soul. He had never felt more exposed, more vulnerable to her than he did in this moment. But some part of him basked in her intrusion, inviting her to discover all the broken shards of his soul, welcoming her to mend his mess.
Somewhere along the length of their stare, Cloud realized his breath had turned hot and that hers was sweet, somehow, as it fanned along his tastebuds. His lips brushed hers and a jolt of pleasure rushed through his veins, alerting every fiber to her presence. He froze at the same time Aerith did, her shaky breath ghosting his lips.
As the feel of her heated his body, the voice in his head that typically reminded him of his past terrors, of his social detriments, seemed fainter and fainter until it faded completely. Cupping the other side of her face with his gloved hand, Cloud tilted his head and pressed his lips to hers in a gentle kiss. His brows furrowed as he felt her lips press just as tenderly into his, rolling a tingling sensation down his spine. As the assault spread to his stomach, he let their kiss deepen, molding his mouth against hers in perfect succession. It was bliss.
As Aerith pressed closer to him, resting her hands on his chest, her heart pumped faster until her cells were alight with butterflies. Though she knew she was far, she had never felt closer as she snaked her arms around his neck and yanked herself flush against him. There she stood, smashed against his toned body, keeping pace with the languid movement of his lips until she was nearly breathless.
Cloud pulled back from her then, and a smile broke onto her lips as she caught her breath. His chest bobbed up and down as he held tight to the girl of his dreams. His gloved fingers fell, trailing delicately along the length of her ponytail before settling at her lower back.
As they stood in each other’s embrace, sharing one another’s hot breaths, Aerith turned suddenly to peer over her shoulder.
“It’s almost morning...” she turned back to him.
But he had heard this spiel a hundred times.
Cloud shook his head in dismissal, “I’m not ready to go. Not yet.”
Aerith locked eyes with him, twiddling her fingers at the base of his wild tresses, “You’ll never be ready with that attitude.”
Cloud shot her a look void of any amusement and she sighed. Stretching up once more, she pressed her lips chastely to his and Cloud melted into her instantly. Forgetting his worries, his frustrations with the situation, he kissed her just as softly as before and let the feel of her strengthen him. Breathing in her floral scent, he couldn’t help but let those parting words spill from his tongue as their kiss broke.
“I’m coming for you,” he breathed and dove back into another kiss before she could say one more of her typical lines.
Though he had said it every night, he had meant it every time. Repeating it to her gave him a sense of hope, a goal to keep him motivated. Moreover, he felt like if he didn’t say it, she may never believe it, and he desperately needed her to!
With one arm wrapped tight around her waist and the other slowly sliding into her hair, Cloud crushed his mouth to hers in a silent plea. He could feel her slipping...
And when his vice grip fell through and all she remained was a haunting mirage destined to set him into insanity, her voice came through, imprinting its tragic melody onto his soul.
“I’m sorry...” she whispered.
Then nothing. All the beautiful scenery, the flowers, the mako, Aerith’s breathtaking form...it had all turned to black.
Cloud blinked, opening his brilliant aqua orbs to the soft daylight drifting through Aerith’s bedroom window. A long sigh blew from his lips as his head fall back against the wall. Gritting his teeth, the muscles in his jaw clenched as their kiss played on repeat in his head. He could still feel every bit of her and he hated it. Elmyra be damned! Aerith would be in his arms tonight!