Chapter Text
Maya loved her apartment, it was a place that she felt comfortable in. Whether it was hers alone or a place she shared with Carina or Andy - her apartment was her solace. After a bad shift, she could head right home and know that she had a comfortable bed and a fantastic shower waiting for her.
The news that her apartment building was being sold hit her hard. She’d moved in just after finishing the academy and spent years perfecting each and every part of it. From the color of the walls to the living room rug, each and everything in her space worked.
Growing up, Maya had never felt a particular amount of attachment to her childhood home. Sure she liked it well enough, but it was just a place she rested her head.
It took years later for Maya to realize that the reason she never had that attachment to her childhood home was that she never felt safe. How could you sleep well not knowing what insanely early hour your dad was going to wake you up at? Or if you’d be allowed a second helping of dinner that night? Or if you came home even five minutes late from the movies that you might be locked out for the night?
Her apartment was the first place she’d ever felt at home.
The news came in June and Maya was meant to be out by the end of August. She’d spent weeks trying to find the perfect place, but each paled in comparison. The first was too far from the station, the second was on the fourth floor which would be difficult with Baker, the third was too small, the fourth too big and the fifth was just all wrong. Vic had taken it upon herself to send Maya prospective apartments each day and she’d turn each one away with a shake of her head. They were all wrong.
Perhaps it was just the sentimental value of her place that could never be recreated. But each place felt empty.
Carina tutted at Maya over the table of a coffee shop, AJ having a playdate with Amelia’s son this morning. Even though Scout was older, they’d become fast friends. Scout liked being the leader, normally pushed aside in favor of his older cousins, and AJ would follow him around, doing whatever the boy asked.
“I think there is an easy solution to your apartment problem, Maya,” Carina said, drinking a sip of her espresso and chuckling at Maya’s glare. She’d been spiraling all morning about her apartment search. The timeline to move out was approaching and doing things last minute was not Maya’s speed. She preferred planning when it came to big life decisions such as this.
“Please enlighten me.” Maya didn’t mean to be so snappy and shot Carina an apologetic look that was easily accepted. They had moved into such an easy understanding and while they had still yet to put labels on their relationship, they were together. Totally and completely.
“Let me pull up the photos, I saw a great place this morning.” Carina hummed a soft tune as she scrolled through her phone before handing it over to Maya.
“It’s three bedrooms and a large finished basement. A patio out back and a small yard for Baker. It’s a little further out from the station than your current place, but it’s still within the 15-minute radius you said you’d consider,” Carina listed off with a little smile as she saw Maya processing everything.
The photo she was staring at was the facade of Carina’s townhouse.
Maya liked Carina’s townhouse, over the past few months it had become a home away from home. Maya had helped Carina put pictures on the walls, lay down rugs, and even paint an accent wall in AJ’s room. The once generic builder-grade townhouse felt homey and warm. It wasn’t as organized as Maya’s home, AJ not allowing that, but it was neat and comforting.
Things between them had been good, great even. They'd rehashed the past many times, Maya finally fully forgiving Carina for leaving. It had taken so many tears and a lot of arguing, but they'd gotten past it. Carina had apologized, but would not allow herself to be filled with regret. And Maya had learned that the decision was really never about her, but it was about Carina not being able to grieve properly until she could have a breath of fresh air.
“Carina-” Maya began, her face screwed up in disbelief. Was Carina really asking her this?
“Move in with me. I already asked Andrea and he’s fond of the idea,” Carina joked, but her laughter fell short as Maya reached across the table to press a kiss to Carina’s lips.
“Fine, but I get to make a corner of the basement into my own home gym.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Living with a toddler was certainly an adjustment, but it took only a few weeks to find a routine. On a typical day, Maya woke up the earliest and took Baker for a run. By the time she got back, AJ was usually about ready to wake up. Maya would grab the boy and get him some milk before putting him in bed with Carina so she could shower. By the time she was out of the shower, Carina usually was halfway done with breakfast and Maya would entertain AJ for a bit. They ate breakfast as a family before splitting ways. More often than not, Carina would drop AJ off at daycare, but sometimes the responsibility fell onto Maya if Carina had to go into the hospital for a procedure.
They learned that AJ was more docile in the morning with Maya than with Carina. But that only a bedtime story from Carina would do. Baker was extremely protective of Carina when Maya wasn’t around, a fact that was demonstrated when an electrician came to fix a few loose wires and the dog had charged at him. Carina was always doing laundry but hated folding and Maya was okay to do any chore except the dishes. She hated doing dishes.
Carina’s home began to feel like their home. Maya’s treadmill and stationary bike found a home in the basement and her desk was in the far corner of the living room. The photo of her winning the gold medal had a special place in the hallway and a soft photo of her kissing AJ on the cheek sat on top of Carina’s bedside table. Her records were mixed with Carina’s, her favorite items intermingled in the pantry, Carina had taken one of Maya’s old t-shirts from her high school track team and never gave it back, it becoming her favorite pajama top. It was so soft and domestic.
Maya knew she wasn’t always the easiest to live with, but it was a give and take. Carina actually learned to appreciate Maya’s detailed chore chart that hung on the fridge and the fact that she synched up their google calendar on one another’s phones. Carina wasn’t necessarily messy, just more carefree. Their house was never dirty, but Carina didn’t mind having an unfolded blanket hanging off the back of the couch or for AJ’s toys to just be piled up in the corner. Maya preferred her blankets folded and for AJ’s toys to stay in their designated bins. Carina was annoyed the first time Maya accidentally threw in a delicate shirt of hers with the wash, causing the seams to tear. Maya had to go for a run the day she found AJ had dunked her headphones in Baker’s dog bowl. And they both nearly lost it the day they found Baker and AJ covered in fingerpaint. They didn’t even know how he managed to open the childproof cap.
Every day was different than the next when you lived with a toddler, no matter how much you tried to stick with a routine. One day he liked pasta and would eat every spoonful and the next he’d be chucking it down off his highchair, much to Baker’s delight.
Maya’s evenings that used to consist of listening to music with some beer and working on paperwork were exchanged for messy family dinners, reading board books, and passing out on the couch with Carina at 9 pm after trying to watch a movie.
It wasn’t where she thought her life would end up.
But she wouldn’t change it.
With Carina struck with a really bad migraine, Maya had volunteered to take AJ for some much-needed alone time. The pair had gone to the aquarium, AJ now having taken a special interest in all things aquatic. Maya enjoyed helping him gently pet some of the creatures in the touch tank and sending photos of him with his face against the shark exhibit to Carina. Maya treasured these moments together, the bond between her and the littlest DeLuca growing each and every day.
“Come on, bud.” Maya guided AJ away from the play area, knowing they needed to wind down for the day. She’d take him for a quick loop outside to see the Sea Lions and Otters before packing it in. AJ would fall asleep in the car like he always did and Maya would take the long way home so Carina had more time to rest.
Maya had him settled at a bench eating his afternoon snack when a grandmother and her granddaughter settled on the bench opposite, the little girl needing her shoes tied.
“Your son is adorable,” the older woman said, her voice having a slight twang to it indicating they might not be from around here. Maya was about to correct the woman but at the idea of having a whole conversation about how it was her girlfriend’s kid, she opted to just say a pleasant thank you.
Maya grinned as AJ watched the Sea Lions from the underground window, pressing his face up to the glass each time they swam by, their bellies sometimes gliding across the glass. He giggled in pure delight each and every time.
His eyes were starting to get droopy by the time they saw the otters and Maya mentally cursed herself for forgoing the stroller today. However, Maya typically preferred to let AJ roam. At first, she had such anxiety, worrying that he’d hurt himself or get lost. Now, Maya was a seasoned pro at keeping an eye on him and AJ liked the independence of walking around by himself without the constraints of a stroller.
Maya scooped him up so he could see better and he pointed at the animals swimming, a thumb in his mouth and his head resting on Maya’s shoulder.
After that, it seemed to happen more and more often, AJ and Maya getting mistaken for a mother/son duo. First, it was the grandmother at the aquarium, then another parent at AJ’s daycare, and then a father at the park. Maya rarely would correct the assumption, knowing that it’d often lead to more words than she cared to have with strangers. But each time someone called her his mom, she admitted her stomach fluttered a bit.
AJ was her little guy and her best bud. His place in her life would never change.
Dreams of parenthood had never been a thing until she met Carina. And they never seemed real until she met Andrea.
It had been a week from hell. A major surge of the flu had caused a bunch of the B-shift to be out sick and Dean was struggling with childcare for Pru while schools were out for the week. There must have been something in the Seattle water, as there was a huge influx in aid car-related calls, and as much as Maya could enjoy that portion of her job, sometimes she missed fighting actual fires.
Maya had barely been home all week and when she was home, Carina and AJ were usually out. Their schedules were not aligning due to Maya’s extra hours and Carina was focusing more time on a research project she was collaborating with Dr. Bailey on. While she was thankful to have a partner who put leftovers in the fridge for her and kept Baker safe, she missed curling up with Carina in bed and bath time with AJ.
Maya was really loving her little family unit and the pure domestic bliss that came with it. Of course, there were arguments and hurt feelings. Sometimes Maya overstepped with AJ, or Carina could be too overbearing. Sometimes Maya didn’t know how to handle AJ’s toddler temperament and sometimes after a bad shift, Maya just needed space from both of them.
She recalled an argument where she almost packed her bags, Carina having gotten upset with Maya for scolding AJ. It was a delicate balance Maya had to straddle. She was half parent, half roommate to AJ. Maya sometimes felt reluctant to step up, knowing AJ wasn’t her son but she also knew that her help could prevent Carina from struggling. It wasn’t pride that led Carina to argue with Maya, it was self-preservation.
But it was worth it because, at the end of the day, Maya had a partner to come home to.
After a particularly grueling call, Maya went into her office ready to finish up her report and hit her bunk when she saw a paper bag on her desk, her name written in Carina’s delicate cursive with a few crayon scribbles courtesy of AJ. Maya opened the bag and smiled at what she found inside. God, Carina could be so ridiculously thoughtful and it never failed to make Maya shine.
At one point she would have resisted this, but now it kept her going in the darkest days. They’d been unable to resuscitate a young man who had a drug overdose in the park, something that had once been her worst nightmare with Mason. A little token of appreciation like this could make her whole day.
First, she pulled out a bottle of her favorite seltzer water, the perfect refresher after her last call. A small chocolate bar was next. Maya was not one to often indulge in sweets, but whenever she did, chocolate was her downfall and Carina knew that. Third, she pulled out a little stuffed animal, definitely something AJ had snuck in. He had tons of little stuffed toys that he loved to play and share with. Lately, he’d taken to shoving one in Maya’s bag before work, his own little memento to keep her safe. Carina’s thoughtfulness was often unmatched, the actions coming easily to the doctor.
Maya pulled out a pack of her favorite gum, a few energy bars from her stash at home, two apples, and at the bottom, a piece of artwork from AJ’s school. They’d been working on identifying family as a part of his curriculum (not that Maya really understood what an 18-month-old needed to know about the world).
There on the page were 4 little crayon drawings that really looked like nothing more than 2 red lines, a blue squiggle, and one green blob. But AJ’s teacher had labeled the drawing, the top said “My family”. The green blob was labeled Andrea, the blue squiggle labeled Baker, the taller line was labeled “Mama” and the last one was simply labeled “Maya”.
The urge to go home and squeeze AJ’s chubby cheeks was monumental, but she had work to do.
After she finished writing her report while eating one of the apples, Maya took a tack and hung the photo on her wall, right next to her gold medal.
The last thing Maya remembered was beeping. The infamous beep of a firefighter down.
Her vision was blurry, the light then dark, colors swirling. She heard nothing but a faint buzz in her ears. She couldn’t focus. She felt nothing.
A memory of Carina came to her mind, a hazy one at that. Carina smiled at her before pressing a kiss to her lips. Then she vanished.
For so long, the thought of death had been a sweet release. It was what helped her sleep, just thinking of the nothingness that existed for her. Death had been so close many times in her life, just around the corner, lurking, waiting for a misstep in the line of duty to take her away for good.
She thought of AJ and his laugh as they blew bubbles on a sunny day, Baker trying to pop them with his nose. She watched as a bubble escaped and floated higher and higher into the sky until it blended with the sun. The light blinded her and she turned away.
Maya had once been jealous of Rigo, being released from this life and of all obligations. She longed for the day where she could finally let go. She thought of Pruitt, who risked it all for them. He handpicked them all and raised them into the best firefighters they could be. Pruitt would have liked Andrea, wrongfully boasting about how he was named after his daughter. He was a man gone too soon.
She tried to open her eyes. But darkness stayed.
Maybe she just needed to rest a little longer.
It could have been hours or days later, Maya couldn’t tell. She opened her eyes, the fluorescent lighting of the hospital burned. She closed them.
Blue eyes fluttered open and Maya fought to steady her vision. She could see the tiled ceiling and looked over to her left and she saw Carina curled up in an armchair, fast asleep. Maya followed suit.
Maya’s nose scrunched up, displeased at being woken. She just needed a few minutes of sleep. She tried to turn over, eager to curl up into Carina but found she couldn’t. She opened her eyes to find Carina looking at her. Carina looked older at the moment, her eyes bloodshot and puffy from crying.
“I’m here, Maya. I’ve got you.” Maya had once whispered those words to Carina, not long after Andrew’s death. Maya’s hand gripped Carina’s loosely and squeezed.
It took nearly a day later for Maya to be able to hold her eyes open for a few minutes, Carina had barely left her side since. AJ had been primarily at Amelia’s but Maya was surprised to learn that he’d actually spent a day with her own mother. Carina had called her after Maya’s accident and being with the boy had calmed her.
Carina had put on a brave face as they sat through all the various check-ins, making sure that Maya truly was okay. It had been five days since the fire, and Maya was slowly healing.
A recently vacated apartment building had been set on fire by some kids, but there had been quite a few calls to police about old tenants still on the property, now squatting since they hadn’t anywhere else to go. The fire was a big one and 19 quickly called for backup from Station 12. Due to the old age of the building, the structure was highly unstable. When Maya was trying to clear the top floor and ensure there were no stragglers, a beam fell trapping her. If it weren’t for Montgomery and Hughes coming to her aid, she probably wouldn’t have made it. Maya had suffered severe smoke inhalation among other various injuries. It was the most severe injury she’d had in a while and it clearly spooked Carina.
For Maya, this was her job. This was all a part of what she signed up for.
“You can’t do this to me,” Carina said one evening as she watched Maya drink a smoothie from her favorite place downtown. Her brother had brought it over after visiting her earlier in the day. It had been almost out of this world to watch Mason interact with Carina, her little brother a bit shy and tentative at first, but just like she had, he eventually bloomed under the attention. It was safe to say he approved of the relationship.
Maya placed her drink down and looked at Carina concerned and nodded, gesturing for her to go on. It still hurt to speak.
“I know it’s part of your job, Maya. But I was so worried. When Warren called me, my heart nearly stopped. I can’t imagine doing this without you.” Carina had tears in her eyes and Maya muttered for Carina to come closer. The other woman was very cautious of her positioning as she settled on the bed next to Maya, their shoulders pressed together.
“It’s not just me anymore. All I could think about was raising Andrea without you. You are so good to him and he looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky.”
Maya smiled at the words. Carina had let Maya know similar things plenty of times. At almost two years old, AJ adored Maya. She was neck and neck with Carina for his second favorite person - the first had to be Baker.
“He’s as much yours as he is mine,” Carina said after a beat, moving to hold Maya’s hand. “I think I’ve avoided this conversation for too long. I think I was being selfish. I worried about this not working out or scaring you off. You never hesitated or ran off, it’s been over a year of you, me, and him against the world. Andrea deserves the best and you deserve to be recognized as what you are. You’re my partner in all senses of the word and you -” Carina paused, searching for the words. Maya had learned long ago that some things, especially emotions, just couldn’t be conveyed in English. “You’re his mother, Maya.”
When Amelia brought AJ into the hospital to visit two days later, Maya held him a little longer and a little tighter.
This was her son.
Tiny grunts of annoyance exited AJ’s mouth as Maya attempted to fix his collared shirt. His 2nd birthday was last month and he’d promptly entered the infamous terrible twos. He was talking more and more each day, favoring his mother’s native tongue more than English. Maya was proud that she was slowly understanding more and more of what Carina said.
“Are you ready?” Maya called as she finally gave up on AJ’s shirt and he scampered out of his bedroom in search of god knows what. Peaking a head into their bedroom, she smiled at Carina who was putting in a new pair of earrings. She looked beautiful in a simple black dress.
“Just one minute,” she answered, smiled affectionately at Maya. Carina finished putting in the earring back, sprayed herself with a bit of perfume, and grabbed her shoes. She passed Maya in the doorway and gave her a small kiss.
“Sei bellissima,” Carina muttered out against Maya’s lips, smoothing her hands out over the lapels of Maya’s blazer.
They packed AJ up and into the car and drove to their destination. This had been a long time coming and as they entered the courthouse, it reminded Maya of another day four months ago. Once Maya was released from the hospital after her injury at the apartment fire, a lot weighed heavy on her mind.
But above all, the concern of what would happen to Carina and AJ was immense. Her close call had put things into perspective and one morning over breakfast, Maya casually asked Carina to marry her.
Carina had dropped the carton of eggs she was holding, causing two to roll out and crack on the tiled floor of the kitchen. It didn’t take long for Carina to move right over to the other woman and kiss her square on the mouth, affirming her yes. Marriage was just a formality, but it was one that Maya needed. Carina was more than happy to go along. The brunette had never really been the biggest fan of marriage, however, circumstances changed and tomorrow was never guaranteed. One thing remained though, she’d never regret marrying Maya.
Maya was not one for pomp and circumstance, not after the Olympics. They took a page out of Andy and Sullivan’s book and headed to a courthouse as soon as they could. Maya’s mother, brother, Andy, and Amelia were present at the small event and they celebrated later at Andy’s house, a small gathering of Station 19 folks and a few of Carina’s coworkers. Unfortunately, her grandmother could not attend the courthouse ceremony, but Andy had held up an iPad so the older woman could watch from the comfort of her own home while Amelia held an excitable AJ. They planned on taking a family vacation turned honeymoon to Italy later in the year so they could share their marriage with Carina’s family.
Aside from their governing documents and the silver bands that now adorned their ring fingers, not too much had changed. They still held the same routines but there was a sense of reassurance to have it all be official. Maya hated to think about it, but if anything happened to her, there would be some security for Carina.
And today? Today they were finalizing that security for AJ.
Maya parked the car and Carina got AJ out. They walked hand in hand into the courthouse until they found their lawyer outside the courtroom.
Today they’d get papers to confirm what they already knew. Today Maya would become AJ’s mother and add Bishop to his last name.
“Mommy! Did you see me?” Five-year-old Andrea Bishop-DeLuca grinned, his front two teeth missing, as he jumped into Maya’s arms.
“I sure did!” She smoothed out his hair, it was buzzed short and for a moment she missed the long curls he’d had as a toddler.
“I scored two goals! Two whole goals. Nobody else scored two.” AJ beamed with pride and Maya chuckled at his competitive spirit. That was something that was all her. However, AJ was more relaxed than she ever was. He was never a sore loser and soccer didn’t consume his whole life. Soccer was a game and he loved it, but he also loved the Captain Marvel movies and painting.
“What about me, Andrea?” Carina interrupted with an incredulous look and the boy sheepishly traipsed over to his other mother and gave her a gentle squeeze before leaning down to pet Baker - who never missed a soccer game. He was getting older but still couldn’t resist an after-game run with AJ and his teammates.
They packed up their chairs and headed to the car, Maya still not believing she drove an SUV, like some sort of soccer mom. After every soccer game, they liked to get gelato from a place not too far from the fields. But today was a special day.
With gelato in hand, they walked on the green grass to a well-visited marker in the cemetery. The stone read “Andrea DeLuca”, an inscription in Italian right beneath. Andrea hadn’t been given a proper burial due to Covid, but Maya had helped arrange at least this for Carina. That had been seven years ago.
AJ loved to hear stories about his uncle Andrea and all the silly adventures he and his mama got up to as children. Carina always lit up when she remembered her baby brother, usually with fondness, but sometimes annoyance at his antics.
Maya touched the headstone gently and gave a soft smile.
Andrew had left the world too soon, but his memory lived on in Carina’s laughter and Andrea’s smile.
Maya picked up AJ with a grin, the boy slowly becoming too big to be scooped up like this. She tickled him under his arms and he let out a delightful bout of laughter, Carina shaking her head at their antics. Carina handed Baker’s lead to the boy and he began to walk him toward the car, Maya, and Carina not too far behind.
A soft breeze ruffled their hair, some freshly falling leaves danced in the sky before settling on the plush greenery.
AJ and Baker rolled in the grass not too far from the car, the little boy’s white soccer socks slowly turning green.
Carina grasped Maya’s hand and lifted it up to press a soft kiss to the back of her knuckles.
Life wasn’t easy, but it was theirs to live.