Chapter Text
Evening of the 13th of September 2026.
The motel room was booked. The room was situated on the second floor only three doors past Grace’s room.
The two hunters exchanged ‘Goodnight!’s and both silently entered their respective rooms. Once Castiel closed the door behind him, he slid down to the floor, back against it, knees propped up and hands rubbing his face.
“What have I gotten myself into?” He asked the freshly scented air,” not even a day has passed and I’m already throwing myself back into the hunting pit.”
He sat there for a while, not really thinking. He was merely listening to whatever noise was around: the soft hum of the AC, the buzz of a lightbulb, and the last remaining birds chirping outside before they slept. He listened until those sounds faded away until he could no longer hear them. Everything was silent. Too silent.
It wasn’t until a few seconds later that an unrelenting ring echoed in his ears, getting louder and louder and he felt suddenly hot- burning almost. He felt hot and his clothes kept him agonizingly hot. His trench coat felt tight and stiff; so did his suit and so did his tie. He started to sweat and tremble.
With shaky hands, he undid his tie. He was struggling. His hands wouldn’t cooperate and his breathing started to quicken. He managed to gracelessly take off his trench coat and threw it to the side. It felt distressingly hard to remove too. The coat seemed to constrict his arms which minimizes his movements. He felt like a forgotten wooden puppet who’s joints were now almost impossible to move and flail around without squeaking furiously with each impossible movement. He also removed his suit blazer and threw it with the trench coat on the floor, creating a short bundle of wrinkled fabric.
He sighed in relief when the constricted coat was removed from his body. It was odd. He never felt this way wearing the coat (as he’s been wearing it for years) and not once has he felt it tighten like that. It was just the perfect size for him to move around comfortably without feeling at a disadvantage when it came to fights.
A wave of fatigue crashed into him unexpectedly. It felt strange- feeling tired. His eyes couldn’t focus and he kept swaying. Blinking only made it harder for him to see. Still, he attempted to walk towards the bed and successfully reached it, falling face first onto the nearest pillow and falling asleep instantly.
~~~~~
Dreams are strange. The concept of dreaming is strange, but also fascinating. It creates a temporary world inside your head. For some people it’s mundane things that happen, but maybe with a twist. For others, it’s something that would sound like it came out of a crazy person’s mouth because of how little sense the dream made and how unnatural it was compared to their real life.
This wasn’t a dream Castiel had.
Castiel had what you would call a nightmare. Although, once described, it wouldn’t really be considered a nightmare. It didn’t scare him awake, it didn’t have a monster chasing him, and it certainly didn’t have any disturbing imagery; but it wasn’t a pleasant experience.
So he settled with the term nightmare.
He only remembers fragments of the dream. It was a little infuriating, not having all the information but, to be honest, he didn’t want to remember much from it.
It was a man’s voice, once strong and beautiful, but now sounded hoarse, desperate and broken. It called for Castiel’s name, called for Castiel’s presence, called time and time again to come back for help. That voice, however, seemed to change, fading out into a higher pitched voice begging for help. He heard a crash and more tears. The soft voice begged softly for help.
The voice whispered to the angels for help.
The pleads echoed into the Empty; each of them more distant than the previous. The voice was disappearing.
His eyes fluttered open.
It took him a few seconds to recognize where he was, but as he sat up and looked around the small motel room and the pile of coats on the floor,the memories came flooding back in.
“What the hell happened to me?” He asked himself, rubbing his face with his hands before staring at them. A sudden chill ran up his spine for a few seconds before he felt normal again.
Castiel looked at the little alarm clock on the wooden night stand. The neon green letters stared back at him and indicated: 8:12 am.
Grace said that they aren’t leaving until around 10 or 10:30 am since she isn’t much of a morning person and,” the day I start waking up early is when I’m married and have a dull full-time job, which is never gonna happen so why bother?”
Her words.
Castiel looked at the state of his clothes: they were a little messy and wrinkled and the thought of wearing that trench coat again made him shiver and gulp in fear as he doesn’t want it trying to eat him up again.
He plays back the bizarre events of last night and tried to analyze them. It felt as if every season he’d missed on earth caught up to him during those few minutes. With delicate fingers he rubs his throat, trying to get a feeling of the presence of his grace, but it’s faint and flickering away slowly.
“I guess I’m not really much of anything now,” he spoke softly, a bitter sigh escaped his lips.
If he’s human, or at least turning into one, there’s no way he would be able to help Grace find her father. He had hoped to assist her in protecting her from harm, but with his fluctuating phases of shifting from human to angel, it could be dangerous for both him and her since he’s now mortal and isn’t in control of his body. He definitely doesn’t want what happened last night in his room to happen again in the middle of a fight.
Reluctantly, he walks towards the discarded coats and kneels beside it, fiddling with the pockets and finding the credit card Grace gave him. He wants to give it back to her and to tell her that it wasn’t worth it. He hasn’t hunted in a long while and, as she implied, he’s ancient now. His body has older bones and weaker muscles. He wouldn’t be able to fight whatever evil that lurks in the shadows. Secondly, he definitely doesn’t want to have to experience those waves whilst on a hunt.
He sits there for a long time, just staring at the credit card, a fake name written on into it. He swipes his thumb on the bumps that form the letters and sighs. He remembers being in a similar situation before, a few years back. His grace was stolen and he was human for a few months. It was hard and confusing, but he accomplished so much by himself. The thought of having to go through the adaptation process again irks him. Compared to what he is, or was, it’s weak. A human needs to sleep for a quarter of the day, drink almost every hour and eat quantities of nutritious foods to last a day without feeling too exhausted. There’s also the additional hygiene you had to take care of like washing your hair and body and brushing your teeth. The thought of becoming human again haunts him. It’s tedious and there’s so much to do.
However, he remembers Grace. He sees her soft smile and her bright energy that seemed to emit from her soul which is now hiding from his mortal eyes. Being human is something he can get used to, and with enough luck, he won’t be fully human until after their hunt. It’s wishful thinking, but he concludes that he shouldn’t quit simply because he was now human. It was selfish. After all, all his friends and family were humans, so it’s not like he’s jumping into the hunt with no limbs. He’ll just have to be more careful- less reckless- and pay more attention to his needs.
Castiel grabs the keys to the motel room, quietly unlocks the door and heads out into the hall. He decides that if he’s gonna start hunting again and if his grace is this weak, it might be safe to buy a few spare clothes for his journey in case he has another episode of whatever he just experienced and for comfort.
~~~
Grace waits outside in the cool late morning air. The autumn wind is picking up and golden leaves start to fall off the trees and dance in the wind before gracefully landing in the ground. She hugged herself tightly, trying to keep as much heat as possible.
A series of footsteps echoes closer towards her and she snapped her head to the side.
She had to hold her laughter.
In front of her stood Jimmy. He was wearing what looked to be a second hand black shirt, a red and blue checkered flannel and a dark blue hoodie with a pair of well used jeans and boots. Hanging near his hip was a duffel bag which looked to be half full of clothes.
“Dang, what happened to the tax accountant Mr. Kline?” chuckled Grace, sliding a stray strand of hair that waved through the wind behind her ear.
“He’s on vacation. Won’t be returning for a while,” Jimmy played along, smiling softly.
“Why were you out buying clothes? Don't you have any with you?” Grace questioned, curious.
Castiel took a few seconds to think of an answer he could give instead of: I’m an Angel, I don’t need to worry about hygiene and clothes. Especially since he isn’t really an angel anymore and supposed to be undercover.
“I...uuhhh… I lost my stuff. It was in a car and some bastard hot-wired it and left,” Jimmy shrugged.
“Aw, damn. With all your equipment too?”
“I didn’t have much on me to begin with,” Castiel started,” I’ve been meaning to restock on my supplies but with no money it’s a little hard.
“Good thing I let you borrow my card, huh,” she raised an eyebrow.
“Oh- Oh. I shouldn’t have used it without asking I-” Jimmy stammered, suddenly realizing that the credit card was only meant to get him a room and not to buy himself some extra clothes.
Grace laughed.
“Oh don’t worry about it. I don’t mind you buying a few clothes, plus, from what I can tell you got second hand clothes so it’s not like you bought brand new clothes from some trendy shop,” she smiled and seeing her happy like that made Castiel happy for some inexplicable reason.
“So, where are we going now, Grace?” Jimmy asked as he walked around Grace’s car. She showed it to him last night. It was a 76 Chevrolet, its colour a muted blue. It looked old and not as glorious as the other newer cars that he's seen before drive around the city. She keeps saying it’s an old dump and sometimes seems to have a mind of its own but she was determined to keep it and use it no matter the car’s stubbornness.
“I have a lead he might be in northern Colorado. It’s a 13 hour drive from here,” Grace starts.
“That’s a lot for someone as young as you. Do you want me to drive?” Jimmy asked, brows furrowed in concern.
“N-no. No, I’ll be ok. I can do this on my own. I want to drive the car. I want to be able to lead this on my own,” Grace insisted.
Jimmy didn’t argue and smiled at her statement and waited for her to get in the car before he followed. She was flustered as she could tell that he was already impressed with her.
“I suggest you put your seatbelt on, I’ve been told a few times that I’m pretty reckless when I drive,” she gave a shy, almost embarrassed smile.
Castiel looked at Grace, her hands on the wheel, her curly hair now untamed and messy from the wind and for a second he was the man he loved, in that same driver’s seat singing along to some old cassette tape he still had in his car. He wasn’t particularly in tune with the singer, but he wasn’t too bad and he was enjoying himself. He was happy. It made Castiel happy.
Castiel leaned back on the leather seat of the Chevrolet and said,”I’ve seen and experienced more reckless driving than you can think of. Show me what you got.”
Grace laughed, it was a nice sound that exhibited pure joy. She brought a hand up to cover her mouth as she continued to giggle for a few seconds before she finally calmed down and breathed normally.
“You know, you’re a lot less stuck up than I thought you were,” she smiled, turning on the engine of the car, the roar of the engine echoing in the rather empty parking lot,” For an old guy.”
“Thank you, Grace. You’re not too bad yourself,” Jimmy paused,” for a kid,” he smirked, glancing in her direction, barely turning his head.
Grace scoffed and a minute later, they were on their way to Colorado.
~~~
It’s been fairly quiet for the past 3 hours they’ve been on the road. Apart from the rustling cars, the radio playing softly and the occasional comment, there was no real conversation between the two. It wasn’t uncomfortable, to say the least, in fact, Castiel enjoyed quiet car rides. They were peaceful and allowed him to drift away in his thoughts for a while.
A question he’d been meaning to ask Grace popped up in his head again. He decided to ask.
“Tell me, do you have other family members other than your father? A mother? Brother or sister you can contact and ask for help? Why attempt this journey on your own when you know you needed help?” There were quite a few questions in that one question. The young girl didn’t seem to want to answer them judging by her silence. Of course if she doesn’t want to talk about her family, then he wasn’t going to pry; although he was curious.
She did answer, though.
“I don’t have a mother. She… she died a decade ago. The- the car was hers actually. She doesn’t have any taste whatsoever but it was the first car she ever got…” she rambled a little bit before clearing her throat again,” but I do have family. I have a wonderful uncle and aunt. They run a business together, actually. They’re expecting soon too,” she smiled at the thought.
“I’m sorry about your mother,” replied Jimmy,” but there’s one thing that still confused me: why go on this journey alone? Why not ask your other family members for help?
“Because my dad doesn’t like when his brother gets involved in this situation,” Grace replied again.
“I’m guessing this is more than just a hunting trip, then?” Jimmy raised an eyebrow, concern written in bold on his face.
Grace stayed silent for a moment, clearly reluctant to share anything in her life but that same feeling she got when she first met him came back.
“Yeah… this time of year is always tough for him. I think that he lost someone important to him around that time. It was someone he knew well, his best friend, for sure, but I don’t know much about him. He rarely talked about him,” Grace admitted, keeping her eyes on the road.
“He’s grieving,” Jimmy pointed out.
“Yeah,” she sighed,” though this year it’s different. Usually he didn’t leave till the last few weeks of September and even then he calls me or messages me every other day about where he is and that he’s doing ok, but I haven’t received anything in over a week and I’m fearing the worst..”
“I’m sure he’s ok,” Jimmy reassured. He wasn’t sure if these words helped Grace in any way but he saw the ghost of a smile on her face and that’s all he needed.
“I tried calling him a few times,” Grace spoke after a long silence. She looked at Jimmy,” My dad’s best friend, I mean.”
“I thought you said he was gone.”
“I doubt he is. He’s up there somewhere and I know it. He has to come back,” Grace said.
“So, he’s not dead,” Jimmy concluded.
Grace opened her mouth to say something, closed it, then opened it again, then closed it one last time. She seemed to be thinking about something to say, picking her words carefully.
“To be honest, I’m not sure. The only info I have is that one time I found my dad drunk on the floor mumbling how ‘he was taken away from me’. Either it was death or some kidnapper of some sort- I don’t know,” frustration started bubbling up in her blood.
“So… you’re looking for two people then?”
“No, only my dad. He’s the one I care about the most since I never met his friend. I just— I just… forget it,” her grip tightened on the steering wheel as she sighed.
There was another long silence. Nature surrounded them in shades of greens, browns and golds. The sun was already starting to set, but it hasn’t given the sky that beautiful array of colors yet. Jimmy was staring at the trees passing by, the empty fields ready for winter and a flock of birds that seemed to be migrating maybe. There was a big sign indicating where they were but they were going too fast and he wasn’t paying enough attention to read it.
Grace cleared her throat,” So… uh… Do you have a family of your own?” she glanced at him.
Jimmy was startled by the question and stared at her blankly for a few seconds too long before turning his attention away from greenery surrounding them to the young woman.
“You know, brothers, sisters, lovers?” She glanced back at him at the last statement.
“I do,” Jimmy said simply.
“And? Tell me about them,” said Grace, a smile tugging at her lips.
How could Castiel resist that?
“Well, where do you want me to start?” Jimmy asked.
“Uhh, your siblings. I’ve never had any real siblings and I want to know how it feels like to have one.”
Try a hundred, Castiel thought to himself. He didn’t want to lie. He wasn’t very good at it.
“We were 12 siblings including me,” Jimmy started.
Grace turned her head violently in his direction and gasped- clearly impressed- her hair flying and her eyes wide in shock.
Jimmy chuckled at her reaction. She rolled her eyes and focused her attention on the road again.
“I only ever got along with 5 of them,” Jimmy admitted,” My elder siblings acted more like parents than siblings, though. My father wasn’t around much at all when I was growing up, so they took over- trying to fill in his shoes and follow his footsteps.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Grace gave him a sympathetic look,” who were those 5?”
“There were my brothers Gabriel, Balthazar, Micheal and Lu… cas- my brother Lucas and my sister Anna,” saying their names out loud made him realize how much he missed them dearly.
“Where are they now?” Grace asked.
“Dead,” Jimmy said it plainly as if it was just a common fact that didn’t mean anything to him, but his heart started to ache. Grieving claws scratched at it slowly, certain that he was going to feel every second of every tear that they were creating.
Grace was about to apologize again but Jimmy quickly interrupted her.
“Don’t apologize. They’re in a better place now,” he lied. He knew what the Empty does to the angels and demons who rest there but whatever they’re enduring there, it’s much better than having to stay down here.
So maybe there wasn’t much lying.
“Tell me about them,” Grace said,” tell me a fond memory of them. You seem to have plenty of stories to tell.”
It was true. Castiel has thousands of stories to tell starting from the beginning of time and even beyond that. He has lived with his brothers and sisters before the earth was even born. He could talk and talk about every single day he was alive ceaselessly. He could talk about watching humanity evolve into what it is today with them. As an angel he was tasked to protect with his garrison. Jimmy Kline, on the other hand, didn’t have much of a story to tell. He wasn’t real. He didn’t have a life and he doesn’t have much to contribute for anyone. That’s who Castiel is now: a shell of who he once was.
He sighed, trying not to think about it and just thinking about entertaining the young hunter, “It was a few decades ago,” Jimmy started, altered his story,” I remember it quite vividly surprisingly. There was a field of lilacs in my fathers garden and my brothers and I were exploring. I was with my older brothers Micheal and Lucas- back when they got along. It was… now that I think about it- it was strange how we got along so well during that moment. No one was really the type to enjoy life at its fullest. It was dull and simple but in that purple lavander field, it felt good. Lucas got chased by a group of bees while Micheal and I watched from afar, laughing, but not in a mocking way. It was… serene. It’s the best way I can describe it. It’s my fondest memory of them,” Jimmy smiled to himself, his eyes twinkled as he remembered the faces of his beloved brothers, faces soft, young and kind.
“What were you doing in the fields while your brothers were having fun being chased by bees?” Grace smirked, giving a quick glance at Jimmy before keeping her eyes fixated on the road once more.
“Me?” Jimmy asked, slightly confused,” Well, if you were my brothers or sister I would tell you I was simply observing the bees on the lavender flowers but I’d be lying. Even though they were eye catching and beautiful, it didn’t compare to my brothers getting along so well in that moment.”
“I’m guessing your family fought a lot?” Grace asked, almost regretting asking the question as she didn’t want to feel like she was diving too deep into his personal life.
“They did. We all wanted to please our father- one way or another. Sometimes we’d fight for his attention. There was always some sort of tension but it was never for something necessarily evil I suppose, but no one fought harder than Micheal and Lucas.”
“What did they do?” Grace asked, but when Jimmy didn’t answer, she regretted it immediately.
“I’d rather remember the good parts of them. They were both good. Micheal was loyal and cared for the good of his family and Lucas simply wanted to love our father and our family. Those fights, although they caused a lot of harm, didn’t change how I see them,” Jimmy admitted.
“Family does that to you. You love them unconditionally. You don’t really know why, you just do,” Grace contributed,” that I can understand. Sometimes I’d get into arguments with my dad but I just can’t stop loving him and caring about him, you know?”
Grace started to have tears build in her eyes. She didn’t want to lose him. Jimmy was going to make sure that that didn't happen.
“He just… he’s just the most caring man on earth, it seems,” Grace wiped her eyes quickly with the back of her, sniffing a little before placing it back on the wheel and trying her best to compose herself,”I’ve never met anyone as kind with his family than him.”
Jimmy smiled at the young hunter’s comment about her father; he knew he made the right choice helping her. They continued their journey in silence. The sky was getting darker and darker by the minute, the beautiful mystical array of colours slowly fading into the dark blue that encapsulated their small world so they decided to stop their drive and find the nearest motel.
Grace’s words lingered around his head and he couldn’t stop thinking about a certain green eyed man.