Chapter Text
Wei Wuxian @wei-taminute
A lot of people have been tweeting at me about the official impeachment of Jin Guangshan, asking for my opinion. Well, here’s what I have to say: good riddance! I don’t really wish for anything bad to happen to him beyond jail time, hefty fines and basically to justly pay for all he did and to stop harming the citizens of Lanling, but I understand how some people, mainly
Wei Wuxian @wei-taminute
young ladies or some people he might have harassed/oppressed would wish for revenge. I personally don’t need or want my broken leg to be considered part of his sentence, because there’s really nothing that ties Jin Guangshan himself to the incident itself. I know that the police officer who broke my leg, Zhang Junming, has been fired from the LLPD, so as long
Wei Wuxian @wei-taminute
as I know and have closure, I don’t desire anything else for myself. But I do desire apt closure for the others Jin Guangshan has harmed. So, my opinion on people sending him death threats and trying to break into his house: please don’t. Let the law speak for itself. He will be spending quite a bit of time in jail, and there’s no point trying for a life sentence, because at
Wei Wuxian @wei-taminute
the end of the day it’s not going to happen. Jin Guangshan is still very rich and influential. So the twenty years I hear he’s getting is actually pretty good. As well as the 100 million dollar fine he has to pay to the city of Lanling, but he can definitely afford it, so whatever. He could take more, deserves more, but we can’t give him more. Basically, we’ve gotten him. Let’s
Wei Wuxian @wei-taminute
leave it at that. But we can celebrate! Congratulations, everyone, we did it! #IMPEACHEDJINGUANGSHAN
Lan Wangji @hanguang-jun
Let’s all look forward to the drop of the last 2 mini-episodes of LOTUSCLOUD House in Yunmeng, because episode 6 we’re heading to Gusu. Coming out soon. #lotuscloud #lotuscloudhouseYUNMENG #lotuscloudhouseGUSU
magicdisciple @disciple123
guys i think we all deserve this after everything that happened so here comes more of chaotic lotuscloud moments
[video title: MORE iconic and chaotic lotuscloud moments that had stans shook ]
Video transcript by tumblr user MAGICDISCIPLE
*beep*
LXC (in the car on the way to the hotel, LOTUSCLOUD House episode 4): Ah, Wuxian, what are you doing? You’ve been on your phone for a while.
WWX: Oh, I’m reading.
LWJ: What are you reading?
WWX: Xiaohongshu
JWY: WHAT??
*Note: Xiaohuangshu means little yellow book. In Chinese, that basically translates to pornography. It sounds like Xiaohongshu, which is a popular app that lets you view nearby restaurants, hotels, give reviews, share pictures and stories, articles, and many other things. WWX was browsing social media, but it sounded like he was reading porn.
LWJ chokes on his saliva, his ears turning bright red.
LXC: You’re reading what??
*beep*
WWX: Ok, everyone. The next move is three steps forward in a diamond pattern. So Lan Zhan, come here-fuck! Oh shit, I can’t swear! Shit!
(camera pans to Lan Wangji, who had accidentally tripped over his own untied shoelaces, and careened into WWX. The two are now in a pile on the ground. LXC looks very tired.)
LXC: We’re going to have to censor everything you just said.
JWY: On the contrary, I think we shouldn’t censor any of it, and let that idiot realize the consequences of his fucking actions!
(The Office-like close-up on LXC, whose face has just gone carefully blank.)
LXC: Would you care to repeat what you just said, word for word?
*beep*
(at an award show. LTSC are standing in a line, looking nervous.)
MC: And the award for Best Music Video of the Year goes to… LOTUSCLOUD!
(fans cheering. JWY steps up to the mic to give the acceptance speech, but he’s crying. He steps down a second later. LXC goes up.)
LXC: Uh, wait - Wanyin- A-Cheng - wait - never mind. Um, thank you so much for Inkigayo Music Awards for giving us this honor, and, um, thank you to all the Disciples who supported us, and uh-
(WWX is crying onto LWJ’s shoulder. When he emerges, his foundation is smeared, as well as his red eyeshadow. It makes him look like a hanged ghost. When LXC sees him, he starts laughing.)
LXC: Wait- pfffffttt… wait, I’m sorry, wait, Wuxian, your makeup… no, um, I, uh…
(He brushes his hair out of his face and looks at LWJ, still trying not to laugh. LWJ shrugs.)
LWX: Ah, yes, hehehe… pfttt.. I’m sorry… thank you…
(He slowly steps down from the podium, turns to WWX, LWJ and JWY, and starts laughing.)
*beep*
(in the middle of WWX’s rap in Ddu Du Ddu Du ((author’s note: translated into english for ease of understanding, please forgive this author’s terrible Korean skills...)) )
WWX: Whatever we want, we’ll take it outright! Your attempts are as pointless as cutting water with a knife!
(he stops rapping while the music plays, a shit-eating grin on his face, to prove that he’s not lip-syncing. The crowd goes wild.)
WWX: Hands are covered in fat cheques, you don’t believe me, get a fact check!
*beep*
(How You Like That practice, in the dance studio, during the bridge section)
WWX, singing along to the music: Da duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh...
LWJ: Bring out your boss bitch!
(LTSC stops dancing, staring at LWJ, who still has his deadpan look on his face)
LWJ: What?
*beep*
(LTSC are sitting in a chair for an interview. LXC keeps spinning on his swivelling chair.)
LXC: My name is… Wuxiaaaaannnn!
WWX: Eh?
LXC: My name is Wuxian!!
LWJ, quietly: Is he drunk?
JWY: How am I supposed to know? Wei Wuxian, did you get him drunk?
WWX: No! I didn’t!
LXC, maniacally: MY NAME IS WUXIAN!!
WWX: Ppong!
*beep*
eunnie @sarah
omg i didn’t expect the level of chaos lotuscloud possesses to get even more ridiculous… ppong? wwx, what??
-
LOTUSCLOUD
Hello! We are LOTUSCLOUD, a boy band under Five Sects Entertainment. Welcome to our official YouTube channel!
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MAKEUP by WEI WUXIAN - Episode 1: Fox Spirit ft. Jiang Yanli
[video transcript by tumblr user MAGICDISCIPLE]
WWX: Hello everyone! We here at Five Sects Entertainment are trying out a new show! We’re going to film how I do different styles of makeup, with different guests acting as my models!
(He does finger guns at the camera, winking. There is a smattering of laughter from the crew.)
WWX: Today the wonderful, beautiful Yanli-jiejie is going to be my model for this fox spirit inspired sexy look!
JYL: Hello, everyone, it’s a pleasure to be here! My makeup artist is sitting behind the camera right now, and she looks very nervous.
Camera pans to JYL’s makeup artist, who laughs awkwardly and waves.
WWX: I’m hurt! Well, anyways, we can get started.
(Intro: Various pictures of WWX’s most dramatic makeup looks, with How You Like That playing as the music.) Close-up shot of JYL and WWX, as he begins to grab makeup products.
WWX: Ok, here’s the primer that I’ve been loving. This is the Guerlain L’Or Radiance Primer, and I don’t even know what shade it is, haha. I like to apply a light layer of this on the skin, because it makes for more of a dewy, glowy and supple base layer.
He gently dabs the primer onto JYL’s face and smooths it out carefully. She closes her eyes and smiles.
WWX: This primer is great for our look, because when you think fox spirit you think sharp chin, delicate features, and dewy skin, right? This is different from a goddess vibe, because fox spirits have a more sexy vibe, compared to a glow or an ethereal feeling.
JYL: Ah, I think I’ve seen your makeup artist use this one in all the shows we do together!
WWX: Right? It’s been a favorite of Liu Qi’s for forever! It’s because I tend to go for more sexy makeup instead of soft.
(Context: Liu Qi is WWX’s makeup artist. She’s incredibly talented!)
WWX: Okay, here’s for foundation. I’m using the CPB Le Fond De Teint Foundation, in the shade I10. I like this foundation because it’s really lightweight, but it also gives great coverage. It works almost like a sheer concealer. However, it’s really expensive! Almost 2000 RMB for this tiny little tub!
JYL: I’ve seen so many professional makeup artists use this on their clients, but it’s for sure a luxury product. If you want to save some money but still want to use an expensive product, try using the Radiant Cream SPF Foundation from CPB too. It’s half the price, but it’s still pretty good.
WWX: Yeah, you’re totally right. I’m only using this because FSE sponsors me buying makeup.
He winks and blows a kiss at the camera, presumably to whoever approves his transactions. The laughter from the crew grows.
WWX: Ok, the thing with expensive makeup is- you have to take good care of it. Especially with something priced like this? You can’t use it like a cheap foundation. You have to literally treat it like doctors treat active viruses. So I don’t take off the protection layer between the cap and the product, and as soon as I have the product out of the packaging I immediately put the cap back on.
JYL: Ohhh… is it to keep it from getting oxidized?
WWX: Yes, it is! I find that expensive foundations, because they don’t have those icky shelf-stabilizers that are bad for your skin, they can oxidize quickly. And once they oxidize, the texture can get oily and greasy, the foundation can separate, the color and smell will be impacted, it’ll look and act like it’s expired. All in all, not great. So we have to take great care with it.
JYL: Oh! So smart, A-Xian!
WWX blushes, and hugs her quickly. (Text: Our makeup artist is getting shy…)
WWX: Ok, so anyway, I’m going to start from the middle, and slowly blend it out. Because Yanli-jiejie here has great skin, I don’t need to cover up many pimples. And if I do, I can always come back in with a tiny, round-tip brush to add a tiny bit of foundation to cover up any errant dark spots. It’s not concealer, though, that comes after!
JYL: So while we’re doing this, do you have anything to diss about my normal makeup?
WWX: Oh, I wouldn’t dare! Your makeup artist is so talented!
JYL: No, it’s okay! She said before coming here that she wants your constructive criticism.
WWX: Um, there’s really not much… that one retro look she did for the Likey Likey music video?
JYL: Yeah?
WWX: I felt like the green and blue was a bit weird… it didn’t really match with your yellow dress. If it was me, I would have given you some blended out yellow eyeshadow, with a bright orange lid, and some neon green or white eyeliner. I think the shades of green and blue gave an aquatic vibe… it wasn’t that the makeup itself wasn’t pretty, in fact I think it was beautiful, but I think it might have been better suited for the Fancy music video or the Feel Special or More and More.
JYL: Wow, A-Xian, you’ve done your homework!
WWX: I most certainly have! No offense to her, it was a beautiful look. Ok, we’re done with foundation. Now, I’ll dab on a little bit of concealer to lift your face, near your brow bone, I’m going to make an upwards swoop. Along your lip corners too, and also on your cheekbones. This is just going to help give you a facelift with makeup.
JYL: Yes, I’ve seen many makeup artists do this. It actually almost looks like plastic surgery!
WWX: Mm-hmm. I’m just going to blend it in slightly. Let’s throw up a before after shot.
Picture of JYL before the concealer and after. Overall her skin looks tighter, fresher, and her entire face seems to have been lifted.
WWX: Now, I’m going to curl your lashes. I’ve seen people in Korea do this too.
He grabs a lighter and two blunt skewers, and lightly scorches one. Then he lightly rolls JYL’s eyelashes between the hot skewers.
WWX: Not only does this set the curl, it also leaves a light layer of soot behind, which doesn’t get in your eye and makes the lash look fuller. The second part is a subtle difference, though.
JYL: I feel like I was gonna burn them off!
WWX laughs and starts heating a lash curler with a hair dryer. He deftly curls her lashes with five or six clicks, moving the lash curler at a higher angle with each press.
WWX: Ok, now for eyeliner along the upper lash line. I’m using the Bibo eyeliner pencil, and I’m going to apply it with a very thin, slanted brush by Baigelan. What I like about this brush is that it’s very dense, so it gives an even application. A lot of the time, with slanted brushes, you can’t get a proper sharp tip because the angled end keeps slipping. You don’t get any of that with this brush, because it’s so thin but it’s so dense.
JYL: I noticed you haven’t drawn in the wing?
WWX: Yes, that’s right. Fox spirits have a very distinctive eyeliner wing look. But that’s actually going to be the last step of our eyeliner journey, which is going to be fairly different form your normal eyeliner.
He retrieves two tubes of eyeliner gel, one dark brown, one black.
WWX: So these are the Missha Palette eyeliner gels, and they are a beautiful product. I literally fell in love with these eyeliner gels a long, long time ago. They don’t smudge, but you can blend them easily. Also, you can apply them with a brush, and they set quickly, AND they’re semi-waterproof. I love these so much.
He fills in JYL’s lash line even more, and then begins to draw in the inner corner of her eye.
WWX: See how I’m gently extending the inner corner of her eye? It makes her eyes seem more sharp and angled. This also creates the illusion of a droopy inner eye. It’ll make a sharp contrast with the winged liner we’ll do later, which is a classic look in fox spirits.
JYL: It’s a subtle change, but it really does a lot, doesn’t it?
WWX: Yes! It does! I’m glad you noticed. Now for the winged liner. The winged liner should be on line with half of your iris. So it should be around the halfway point, vertically, of your eyeball. Right..about..here.
He draws a swooping line for JYL’s eyeliner, and then gently tugs it down.
WWX: Let’s just gently thicken this eyeliner.
He adds more color to the wing, and eventually the camera zooms out, showing Jiang Yanli’s completed eyeliner.
WWX: Okay, I’m gonna apply some light mascara. Just blink, Yanli-jiejie… and… okay. Now for eyeshadow.
He turns around and picks up two eyeshadow palettes.
WWX: So, this is the iMagic PRO Sweet Little Girl palette. I’m going to use the shade Kiss along the edge of her eyelid...and then blend some of this light brown Whisper into it. Now, I’m gonna take a small rounded eyeshadow brush and apply the shade Oath right above her eyeliner, to blend it into the lid. I’m doing to add the shade Dessert, a reddish-brown around that, and then a tiny bit of the shade Flower, which is a bright, intense red, down near the bottom of her eye, beside her lying silkworm, to make it look more plump and cute.
JYL: Oh wow! It looks so good!
WWX: The other is Peripera palette in Burnt Breeze, and I’m going to take the third shade and blend it all over the red colors so that it’ll look more muted and blended instead of bright red.
JYL: This looks so good!
WWX: Yes, doesn’t it? That’s it for eyeliner, I’m going to do her brows and false lashes off camera.
Music-covered fast forward of WWX applying some light false lashes to JYL’s eyes, some more mascara, and filling in and carving out her brows.
WWX: I picked more natural looking eyelashes, but they are longer. So you don’t want a super full pair of lashes, but they should be much longer and more delicate. For lipstick, I picked a pinkish-cherry red from Chanel Rouge, shade number 112. I’m going to blend it out around the edges of your lips to make it seem natural. Then, this is a Shimmering Gloss from Fenty Beauty in the shade Diamond Milk. This gives you that fox spirit dewy lips, with a bit of shimmer.
JYL: I love it!
WWX: And that’s it!
Music montage of JYL’s completed makeup look from many different angles. Close-up shots of her light pinkish-red-brown eyes, long lashes, and plumped-up lips.
WWX: That was Makeup by Wei Wuxian episode 1: Fox Spirit! I hope you’ll tune in to next week’s episode: Chinese Dragon! Thank you everyone!
JYL: Thank you so much! Bye bye!