Chapter Text
Your name is Nuduro Tambin, you are an olive-blood and pale-dating an indigo is fucking awesome.
Indigoes are all pretty violent and all but you're a pretty easy going guy and Churro is awesome. He's your best bro and with a quadrant-mate this high up on the hemospectrum you're pretty much un-cullable. Its freaking sweet. You could like, kick your cerulean commander in the shame globes and be safe with Churro backing you up.
You introduced the guy to the wonders of sopor slime and human food and its pretty much the best thing ever. The two of you are holed up in some human convenience store, the windows barred against the light, after Churro cleared the place of humies. The weird little things leave bright freaking red all over the place, its so gross. The both of you are lounging in a pile of human snack food.
You both are high off your asses and on the third jar of peanut butter that you nabbed off the humans as Churro describes this scienterrorist chick he's been flush crushing on.
"But like...But like her ass...." he slurrs and flails his arms and vaguely traces out a large round ass in the air. He licks some peanut butter and sopor slime off his lips and giggles. "Its so fucking sweeeet man....its an awesome ass.... she's such a sweeet little berry..."
You turn to face him, already woozy as you grab a can of cheez-whiz from the pile and spray the "Cheese-Product" into your mouth. Humans may be gross little fuckers but their food is freaking awesome. You've tread carefully around fruit after the orchard incident but humans make all kind of delicious shit. You swallow the orange cheese goo before you speak-
"So she's like...she's like a scienterrorist right?"
Churro looks back at you, high and glassy-eyed. "Yeah man... see her when I take the comp-unit in for repairs.... silly little things up and quadranted with the computation unit....hehe silly lil' berry... up and pretending its still a person...."
You sit up and start to gesture wildly. "Get er... get herr somthin interesting! scienterrorists like interesting! get her a .... a thingy.... that she can study... (hic) she'll dig that bro..."
Churro scrunches up his face. "You...you want me to make a move man? I aint...I aint... the most pitiable fucker out there maan... 'sides...I gotta cull the comp unit...."
"Bro...Bro....You don't...You don't kill your crush's moirail....when you're...you're wooing them man! Thats like...Rule #1 in like...What not to do when you wanna pick up a new quadrant..."
Churro growls weakly. "The Units up and dyed her hair man... dyed it up a humie color..."
"But like....its her moirail man...'Sides bio-units are like....really hard to replace."
Churro pouts and growls louder. You're learned early on to keep the guy happy for everyone's sake or else he goes and beheads an underling. You pap him clumsily until his growls die down, you fall against his chest giggling and start to purr.
"Bro..bro...you should go for it man..." Your words are slurred from the sopor slime and rattly with your purring but you think he still understands you.
He huffs, his breath smells like human blood. You've stopped finding that creepy and now just kind of find the smell of human blood comforting. Its a nice smell really, it smells different than troll blood, more metallic.
"Again man... not verr...very pitiable..."
Phht. any troll would be lucky to have your bro! Unless he beheads them again...The guy has a problem with the beheading thing.
"Crank it up to 11 man! You can be pitiable bro! It just might be a lil...a lil harder to make er see it! You like...you like.. purr a lot! and cuddle! chicks...like....cuddles get right up there and cuddle her! And Presents! get her a thingy... an INTERESTING thingy...cuz' she's a scienterrorist and all..."
Churro looks interested so you continue.
"You got...ta be adorable man... you got to be sexy...PINCH HER ASS!!!...It will be the best thing ever like...like..it'll be saucy..." Wink wink nudge nudge.
Churro picks up the cheez-whiz and sprays it in his mouth before he answers, peanut butter and orange cheese spray mixing and adorning his lips. He licks it off with his long spiney tongue in languid motions.
"...I'll be fucking irresistible man....."