Chapter Text
Jared sits on the pier, letting his feet dangle in the water. Jensen and he have been together a year this month, and they have decided to combine their anniversary with a visit to Jensen’s family in Texas. Danneel is minding the shop, along with students eager to earn some money over the summer, so that both Jared and Jensen can take two weeks off. They spend the first week with Jensen’s family, and the other they will spend at a hotel, focusing only on each other.
“Here,” Jensen says, and startles Jared. He hadn’t heard him coming, being caught up in his own thoughts.
They have been through quite a journey. It’s been ups and downs.
“Thank you,” he says and grabs the cup Jensen holds out to him. There are no milky coffee drinks with fancy names, just him, Jensen and pure black coffee in an old thermos.
“What are you thinking about?” Jensen asks, and takes a sip of his coffee.
Telling Jensen about CVS was one thing, he was glad it was out there. But hearing it and living it is two different things. They had a few fights until Jared was able to explain as well as he could about how fatigued he gets when he’s cycling. If there have been enough episodes, he starts having fatigue even between the episodes. Other symptoms may also bleed into the so-called symptom-free periods of a CVS cycle.
In the beginning, Jensen was very careful not to hurt Jared when he got frustrated, but even Jensen isn’t a saint. He gets annoyed as well, and when he does, he doesn’t always mind his words. And Jared can be a bit touchy about this subject. It took them at least five fights until they realized they needed a talk to clear things up.
“You need to let me be angry, too,” Jensen had said one day when Jared was tired from throwing up all day, and Jensen was tired from covering for him at work.
“But you said you aren’t angry at me for being sick. Do you think I want this?”
“I’m not angry at you,” Jensen had said, “I’m angry at CVS. I’m angry at what it does to you, and I am angry at what it does to me, because I am the one who's in a relationship with you. But it doesn’t change the fact that I still love you just as much. I love you, I just hate CVS.”
And Jared hadn’t understood until that day that Jensen also had the need to be angry, some days. He too has his days when he is bitter that this fucks up their plans over and over. And he hadn’t understood that until he was able to separate his own identity from this illness. He wasn’t giving Jensen the room he needed to be angry. He’s still working on it. It’s getting better, but they still have their days when they fight about this.
“Are you happy?” Jared asks.
“Yeah,” Jensen smiles and pulls Jared closer.
“Thank you,” Jared says, and gives Jensen a peck on the cheek.
“What for?”
“For being so great. For covering for me all the time at work. I feel like the worst kind of employee. Especially April and May, that was bad.”
“I didn’t do it for my employee,” he says.
“What?”
“Covering your hours,” Jensen says and puts down his coffee. He grabs Jared’s hand and plays with his fingers. “Do you think you are the only one allowed to work extra to help your boyfriend? I can do that, too.”
“Yeah,” Jared says, looking out on the lake and laughing at some kids splashing the water and making a lot of noise.
“So, tell me,” Jensen says again, “what were you thinking about when I came down here? You looked miles away."
Jared thinks about the tough episodes he had in April and May, when he never could get the medications to work. When he was sick more and more often, and when he and Jensen fought more and more. And he thinks about how the episodes suddenly stopped.
At first, he couldn’t believe his luck. Then he started to hope. Then, after 8 weeks with no vomiting, he finally dares to say the word out loud, “remission.”
~ THE END ~
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