Chapter Text
When the girls came back from dinner, Alya practically flopped back onto Marinette’s chase in exhaustion. Marinette honestly couldn’t blame her, it was only nine-thirty and she knew that if she laid down at all then she would probably pass out straight away. It had been a long day, yet it still wasn’t over.
The timer on her phone went off, the only description being a little paw print indication that she had to meet up with Chat for patrol.
“I do not want to have this talk with him right now,” Marinette groaned. Alya turned to her with a questioning glance and before she could ask, Marinette cut her off. “I have a patrol with Chat in fifteen minutes, I’m going to have to explain everything that’s been going on, aren't I?” the bluenette lowered her head.
Alya just nodded, “That would probably be best, I mean, you don’t have to but it would help you both feel better. I think that even though you still have to lie and keep things from each other, the secrets that are safe and that affect your partnership are worth discussing. The less secrets you keep from each other, the stronger your partnership will be.”
Marinette smiled at her friend’s advice, “When did you get so smart?”
“Oh, girl. I have always been smart. You just don’t always realise it.” Marinette flinched at that, she knew It was meant to be a tease but that didn’t mean that the words still didn’t cut.
“I know you’ve only just found out about me being ladybug, but could I ask you a favour?”
“Of course, anything for my best friend.” Alya shrugged like it was no big deal and she really would do anything for Marinette.
“I was wondering if you could cover my next patrol? I’ll talk to Chat about it tonight. Tikki and I really need a break, If any Akuma shows up then I’ll transform to help but I think rest will do us both a world of good. I need to catch up on a few things as well.” Maybe it was a lot to ask of Alya, she had never patrolled before and had basically no training. Note to self, set up some training sessions for the main heroes.
Alya just chuckled as if it was the stupidest question she had ever been asked, “As if I would ever turn down the chance to transform into Rena. I will gladly cover for you, on one condition.
Marinette sighed, “And what is that?”
“That you actually rest, no homework, no commissions, no going outside, no bakery and I will even tell your parents not to go up to your room for the entire day unless it’s to bring you food. They will definitely understand since they have noticed how stressed you have been. This means that you will binge shows, watch movies, put on a facemask, have a relaxing bath, paint your nails and do anything to help yourself destress. I mean it, Marinette, you deserve a self-care day.”
“That sounds like heaven.” Marinette agreed, “Ok well, I guess I’ve got to get going. I’ll be back in an hour or two, depending on how long patrol and the talk with Chat takes.”
The brunette nodded then watched as Marinette called out for her transformation.
“Girl, I don’t think I will ever get used to that. See you soon”
A newly transformed Ladybug leapt off her balcony using her yoyo to swing from building to building. She had always loved this part best, the exhilaration that came before the string went taught made her feel like she was flying.
In no time at all she had reached the top of Notre Dame where Chat and her had agreed to meet before patrol started.
She saw him pacing, worry written all over his face. She was only five minutes late, it wasn’t as if an hour had gone by but maybe five minutes was all it took for him to worry that she wasn’t going to show up…”
“Hey, Chat. Sorry, I’m late” she called when he was only a few feet away.
His demeanour immediately relaxed but concern was still shining in his eyes. He bowed then said, “good evening, M’lady. How are you on this fine Parisian night?”
She shook her head but couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her lips, “silly, cat. I’m fine, better than I have in a while actually.”
“Do you mind me asking what has been on your mind? you haven’t been yourself and it’s starting to really worry me.”
“I know I haven’t been myself, the stress of everything happening in my life has kind of built up and exploded. I do want to tell you what happened but… not now.”
He deflated, probably used to this deflection by now. She knew that every time she kept things from him it left a cut and even though she had worded that last statement the wrong way, his reaction was enough to tell her she had made so many mistakes when it came to their partnership.
Ladybug groaned, upset at herself for her inability to phrase things properly. “Chat, that’s not what I mean. I mean that I will tell you, after patrol. It’s about time that we actually sit down and talk about everything that has happened, well maybe not everything but… you get what I mean. Why do I keep saying mean? Urg, I am hopeless at this.” She slapped her forehead, embarrassed and exasperated even at her own words.
She looked up at Chat as he put his arm on her shoulder, trying to calm her down. “Hey it’s ok, just start again and talk slower this time.”
The superheroine took a deep breath to compose herself and tried again. “Ok, so… I want to tell you what has been happening but now is not the time. We have patrol, so, how about we meet up back here and we can talk. I’ll tell you everything that I can and you could even talk to me about problems that you have been having.”
“That sounds amazing, M’lady. I would be happy to listen to you and help in any way that I can. Meet back here in an hour?”
All she could do is nod and appreciate his kindness towards her, after everything she has done and everything she has kept from him, he still looks at her like she hung the stars. It was a terrifying thought, but one that threatened to turn her legs to jelly.
“See you soon, Bugaboo!” she could just see the hint of a smirk curling his features as he jumped off of the roof and into the night.
She shook her head but couldn’t help but smile at his antics, “silly Cat,” she mused then jumped off in the opposite direction and started patrolling the city.
It was a quiet night tonight, even though the occasional car flashed its lights as it drove down the road. The stars winked above her as she stopped for a minute to admire their beauty, the stars didn’t always appear in the city but when they did they were definitely a sight to see.
As time flew by without a criminal, Akuma or amok in sight she began to think back to everything that had happened that day and the conversation that she was about to have. Ladybug had no idea how Chat is going to react to the news of her sharing her secret with someone other than himself.
If she was being honest, she felt a bit guilty that she hadn’t turned to him first or asked if she could tell Alya. She knew she had betrayed him but she was worried that she might also lose him altogether over this. That this was something they may not be able to recover from.
Marinette hoped that if she could just explain the situation and let him in enough that their identities wouldn't be compromised, maybe they would be alright.
Patrol ended all too quickly with her thoughts buzzing and coming up with scenarios that will most likely never even happen.
She headed back towards Notre Dame and landed on the roof again, noticing that she was the first one there. She decided to practice some of the things she was going to say. As Ladybug began reciting, she didn’t realise that Chat had snuck up behind her.
“Hello, M’Lady” he whispered in her ear, startled she grabbed onto his arm and threw him over her shoulder.
“Chat!” she yelled, “ how many times have I told you not to sneak up on me like that!”
He burst out laughing, unable to contain it and she sighed. “I’m sorry, Bugaboo, you are too easy.” he was still chuckling when she let go of him and he landed head first on the roof with a grunt.
He rubbed his neck as he tried getting back up again, “ hey! That was mean, M’lady.”
She crossed her arms and pouted, “then don’t scare me next time, you need to stop doing that.”
“Fine, so… what did you want to talk about?”
Ok well, I guess we are getting straight into this then, she thought.
Ladybug shrugged, “better now than later, I guess.” she gestured to a ledge overlooking the city, “you might want to sit down for this.”
“Sure,” he said then sat down. She sat down next to him and took a deep breath to compose herself.
“First off, I’m sorry for keeping you at a distance. Especially these past few weeks, I haven’t been coping very well but that doesn’t make up for the fact that I have been really snappy and flaky with you lately.”
He laid his hand on her shoulder in an act of comfort and she found that it worked, the nerves seemed to ease slightly. “There is no need to apologise, I know now that you haven’t been doing well. I’m sorry for not realising sooner. I can be very oblivious sometimes.”
“You haven’t been oblivious, I’ve been trying to keep it from everyone. Hiding my struggle from you isn’t going to help anyone so that’s why I want to tell you what has been happening.”
He nodded so she took that as a sign to continue. “Ok, so I’ve always had trouble with having to keep the secrets that are necessary because of me being ladybug. It’s probably the same for you, no?”
“Of course, I’ve got some people in my life that I have always wanted to tell. My best friend has noticed when I’ve run out of school a few times and It’s horrible having to come up with any hair-brained excuse.”
She expected that even before becoming the guardian she had to rush away to fight Akuma and the excuses never got any better. “Ok, so, when I became the guardian all the responsibilities and stress became ten times worse. I love the Kwamis’ but I have barely gotten any sleep the last few weeks because taking care of seventeen Kwamis’ at once is a 24/7 job.”
He made a gesture that signalled for her to go on, not wanting to interrupt her.
“I have a friend group, a bunch of girls that really care about me that are in my college class and have noticed that I haven’t been doing well. Although, they think that I have been secretive and exhausted because I just broke up with a guy that I really like.”
He stared at her in shock at what she just told him, “hold on, you were dating someone?” His eyes practically popped, “was it the guy you were rejecting me for?”
Nosy kitty, she chuckled, “no, he still hasn’t seen me and to be honest I hope he doesn’t. My life is stressful as it is, that's why I had to break up with the guy I was really starting to fall for. He began noticing how flaky I was being and I know his intentions were good, it’s just that there is no way I could have told him what I was really rushing off to do.”
Chat nodded, “I have a similar problem, I’ll tell you about it once you are done.”
“Well, once we broke up and my friends found out they began to really worry about me. They ended up coming to my house and nearly finding the miracle box so I told them… I didn’t want to be friends with them anymore.”
“Oh, M’lady,” he looked at her with wide eyes full of sympathy, “you didn't need to do that.”
“That’s the thing, Chat,” tears began trickling down her cheeks, “I did, I had to. They would have found the miracle box if I ha.. hadn’t.” her voice broke at the end of the sentence.
She tried to calm down, tried to continue speaking but the sobs kept escaping up her throat and the tears kept blurring her eyes. Chat moved in closer, wrapping his arms around her in an effort to calm her down. She rested her chin on his shoulder as he said, “I’m glad you are telling me this but you don’t have to if it’s still painful or if you don’t want to. Take your time”
“Thank you, but I want to tell you. You are my friend and I don’t want to keep secrets from you anymore, especially when they have to do with our partnership or when they won't compromise our identities. I want to be able to confide in you.”
“I’m honoured, M’lady.” he gave a slight bow of his head and smiled a brilliant, thrilling smile that almost made her dizzy… almost.
“Anyway,” she pulled away from him and wiped her eyes, hoping she didn’t look too bad, “something happened after that but they ended up coming back, I apologised to them but my best friend stayed to talk to me for a bit longer. She looked so upset, so disappointed in me because even though I had apologised I had never actually told them why I had said what I did. She was about to leave when…”
Ladybug paused, knowing that she needed to choose her next words carefully. “I am so sorry Chat, I should have just let her go. She told me that she would respect my decision to keep my secrets to myself but I was afraid that I would lose my best friend.”
Chat took a deep breath, feeling like he knew where this was going, “You can tell me, whatever you have to say.”
“Ok, well I stopped her and kinda just broke down. I had no control over what I was saying, all the pressure that I was under spilled over and I couldn’t take it anymore. I told her… that I’m ladybug.” she curled in on herself, too terrified to see his reaction.
Chat on the other hand didn’t know what to think, torn between feeling betrayed that she didn’t confide her identity in him first but also wanting what was best for the girl under the mask.
“I promise that you will be the next one to know and my friend would never tell anyone of my identity. She has been really supportive, helping me work through some of the problems I have been dealing with.” The emotion brought up more tears and her body racked with more uncontrollable sobs “I don’t know how to express how sorry I am for betraying you, betraying my promise to you that you would be the first to know. I couldn’t… I couldn’t… I” she cut off as she sobbed again and coughed at the pressure.
Resolving to calm the distraught girl beside him and push everything else to the side for later, he uncurled her limbs enough to wrap his arms around her again. “Hey, hey M’lady. You're ok, you're fine. I’m right here. Just listen to my voice and try to calm down. That’s it, deep breaths. Just like that.”
She could feel the beat of his heart, a rhythm that grounded her, beneath her cheek as he pressed her into his chest. Eventually, after what could have been minutes or hours, she calmed down enough to thank him.
“Don’t mention it, I’m always here to help.”
“You're not mad?” she questioned, this isn’t the reaction she expected from him. Although, maybe she didn’t know him as well as she thought. She vowed, at that moment, to change that.
He shook his head, “I’m not mad, hurt yes, but not mad. What is most important is that you have support, I would rather have you tell someone than break down like you have been. It isn’t healthy to put that much pressure on yourself so to have someone be there for you is more than ok with me.”
“You’re amazing, you know that Kitty?” she was finally able to smile, having some of the anxiety of telling him be lifted off of her shoulders.
“Don’t you mean, a meus ing? And of course, I know that I’m the cat’s meow ”
“Ok, no.” she deadpanned, “that didn’t even make sense because that pun only works for amusing. The cat’s meow also sounds really creepy. You need to get some better material… kitty” her lips quirked into a smirk.
“You wound me, M’lady.”
“Oh and Chat, If you would like to tell someone then I wouldn’t mind.” it wouldn’t be fair for her to have a support system and he doesn’t.
It seemed like a good idea but Chat just shook his head, “I’ll think about it and I think I know who I would tell but I still would rather you know first.”
She gave him a warm smile, “that’s sweet, Kitty. Anyway, how about you tell me what has been going on in your life. You told me that you were going through something similar with a breakup.
“Yeah I was, I just broke up with my girlfriend. Although she was an amazing person, I don’t think my heart was in the relationship. There were a lot of problems with us being together from the start without family situations and all that but the secrets became too much.”
He flinched, what he was about to say was kind of private, a thought that he hadn’t even discussed with Plagg.
“I think… she thought I was cheating on her with one of my best friends.”
“Oh, Chat. That’s terrible. If she truly knew you then she wouldn’t have presumed that was the case.”
He sighed, “Maybe, but who could truly get to know me what I keep secrets from everyone and on top of that I’m barely able to escape my own house nine times out of ten. I have… very overprotective parents.” he shrugged, “that's not the point though, she thought I had cheated on her because of a token that one of my best friends had given me a few months ago.”
“The token is really special to me… this girl is really special to me. She was one of my first ever friends and I couldn't let my girlfriend… well ex-girlfriend… know why I was always sneaking off so I just let her believe that something had happened between me and this friend.”
“I get it, sometimes sacrifices have to be made In order for our identity to remain protected. It’s what I struggle with the most.” she told him, trying to relate and be a better friend towards him.
He chuckled, a dry humourless chuckle, “the worst thing is… she has a point. When I am with her, all I can think about is this friend. I've been really worried about her because I can tell she has been really out of it lately, falling asleep in class more than usual. She looks like she has been really stressed and I’ve asked one of our other friends if they know what has been going on but she has barely been speaking to anyone.”
“You really care about her, don’t you?”
He nodded, “more than I can admit.”
“Then maybe try talking to her, not your friends. Show that you support her and be there for her. It’s not much but maybe all she needs is a friend.”
“Thank you, Ladybug. Thank you for letting me in and thank you for helping me work through some of the things that have been bothering me. I really owe you.”
“You really don’t owe me anything, you helped me too. I do have to go now, though. My friend is actually waiting for me at home and I promised her I wouldn’t be late. One last thing though.”
“Anything.”
“I really need some rest and so does Tikki, I was wondering if you and Rena would be able to take the next patrol. I was thinking that maybe we should train some of the new holders so they may be able to take on their miraculous full time to give us a break.”
Chat looked really excited at the prospect of new holders and especially the rest part. “That sounds great, Bugaboo. How about we discuss it when you get back?”
“Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you soon, Chat.”
“Until next time, M’lady.”