Chapter Text
“TK, TK,” a gentle touch on his arm, tugging him slightly, brought TK out of sleep.
“Hmm,” TK purred, curling in on himself more, the blankets gathered up against his chest. He felt the tugging on his shoulder intensify. “Just 5 more minutes,” He grumbled.
“Ty, you need to wake up,” Carlos’s voice said, his voice low.
TK groaned, “It’s still dark; what are you doing-” That’s when he smelt it. That unforgettable smell that had followed him through his whole life.
Smoke. TK sat bolt up in the bed, “Is that-”
“Smoke,” Carlos finished, nodding his head as his eyes grew wider, “The stairs are blocked,” He panted.
TK threw the covers off himself, grabbing a shirt off the floor and throwing it on as the room grew darker and darker, “Okay, okay, wait there,” He said to Carlos, running out of the room to the bathroom, wetting a cloth and heading back to Carlos, “Put this over your mouth,” He said, watching as Carlos followed his instruction. TK grabbed the blanket off the bed and the fire extinguisher from the cupboard, holding the crook of his elbow to his mouth and nose.
TK went to the hallway, looking at the fire that was slowly creeping up the stairs towards them. TK blasted the fire with the extinguisher, watching it grow smaller. TK threw the blanket on top of it, patting the fabric till the fire on the stairs was all but gone. “Carlos!” TK called through his arm.
Carlos stumbled out of the room, the cloth still pressed to his mouth. “Follow me,” TK said, holding his hand out for Carlos.
Carlos reached out, taking TK’s hand as they stumbled over the broken and burnt stairs, ignoring the fire that was covering the ground floor.
They staggered out of the house, almost falling over each other. TK reached out, cupping Carlos’s cheek, “Are you okay? “ TK gasped, watching as Carlos coughed and spat, “Carlos?” TK asked again.
Carlos nodded, reaching up to place his hands on TK’s arm, “I’m-I’m okay,” He gasped, “Are you?” He asked
“I’m fine,” TK said, his eyes stinging from the smoke.
Carlos gave a soft smile, “Guess it’s a good thing I fell in love with a firefighter, huh?” He said, giving a small laugh.
TK found himself laughing, too, shaking his head. “I'm going to the neighbours; call it in,” He said, neither having their phone on him. TK turned, going to neighbours house when he froze, watching as the flames crawled higher on their home, eating away at the material.
“Hey,” Carlos said softly, his hand wrapping around TK, “it’s just a house, you’re okay-we’re okay, that’s all that counts” He smiled.
TK nodded, kissing Carlos’s hand as he stared at him.
Carlos was okay, Carlos was safe.
That was all that mattered.
His eyes open.
For a moment, TK mistook the dust drifting through the air for snowflakes of ash. The heat on his arm was not the flames, but the warmth of the sun cascading through the window.
He was okay; they were safe. The 126 had come and put the fire out; TK and Carlos were now crashing at Grace and Judd’s while they found somewhere new.
His fingers curled around, and TK found there was nothing but air.
His eyes shot open. There was an empty space in front of him, his outstretched hand holding onto nothing.
Where was Carlos?
He peeled his head off the bed, looking around the empty room. Carlos had been hurt; he should be resting, here next to TK. TK looked across the floor, unable to see any of Carlos' clothes scattered across the carpet.
The tiredness was ripped off TK, almost as quick as he pushed the covers off himself.
He staggered out of bed and threw open the door.
He rushed down the hall, “Carlos?” He called, his arms wrapping around himself as he came out into the living room.
“Hey sweetie,” A voice said. TK turned to see Grace at the table, a cup of coffee in front of her, her hair hanging off her shoulders. TK just looked at her; she wore a sad, sympathetic smile on her face.
He looked around the room, unable to see Carlos. He reached up, running his hand through his hair, “Where’s…” TK caught sight of the white bandage poking out from under his jumper.
The lack of Carlos next to him in the bed, the empty room...the white bandage was the final crack in the illusion. The illusion shattered around him, and for a moment, TK could have sworn he could feel the shattered pieces embedded in his skin burning him; the fog and mist of the dream faded away, the stark and cold reality like a knife to the chest.
Carlos had woken TK up, and TK had tried to put the fire out, but everything else had been a fantasy, a dream, a wish . There was no fire extinguisher in their cupboard; TK had spoken about getting one for weeks but had never got around to it. The blanket on the fire had done nothing but add kindling to the fire.
They hadn’t stumbled outside together. TK had gone to the bathroom to get Carlos a wet cloth but had gotten stuck on the other side of the hall, the fire charging up the stairs quicker than he thought.
He cried out for Carlos and tried everything he could to get to the man he loved, trying to pass through the firewall numerous times, but the intense pain and heat sent him staggering back.
Carlos wasn’t okay; Carlos wasn’t safe.
TK hadn’t saved Carlos. Hadn’t saved their home. He squeezed his eyes shut, wanting to go back to the world where everything was okay, where they were safe and alive. He wanted that world where things made sense.
TK wrapped his arms around his stomach; that constant sick feeling that had been there since he’d woken up that night grew.
“You okay, TK?” She asked, her brows knitted together and head tilted to the side.
No, absolutely fucking not TK wanted to cry, wanted to scream.
Instead, he just gave a numb smile, nodding his head as he blinked quickly. Grace pulled the chair out beside her, “Why don’t you come sit down,” She said quietly.
TK just stood there for a moment, part of him wishing to go crawl back into the bed and recapture that fantasy. Instead, he sighed, walking over to where the chair was and sagging down in it, “Your dad called; Carlos is still doing okay,” She tried to assure.
“You mean he still hasn’t woken up?” He corrected.
“Not yet,” She said, “I know that’s not what you want to hear, but he’s still fighting and still hanging on okay,” TK knew that, but that didn’t change the fact he was still unconscious, didn’t change the fact that Carlos hadn’t woken up and TK was alone. TK propped his elbows upon the table, resting his head forehead against the palms of his hands.
He felt a hand on his back, “Why don’t you go get some rest? You were only out for a couple of hours,” She said.
TK shook his head, “I’m not tired,” he said against his arm.
“Well, I know that’s a lie,” She said, “You’ve been up for days,”
TK sluggishly pulled his head up, “I can’t sleep,” he confessed.
“Why not?” She asked, a look on her face saying she already knew the answer.
“Because I...” TK just shook his head.
Because sleeping without Carlos was impossible. Because every time he looked next to his side, a part of him was expecting to see Carlos there, and when he didn’t, it broke him a little more, “I just can’t”, He croaked.
Grace gave an understanding smile, silence falling over the room.
“Hey, look who’s up?” Judd said, his voice breaking through the silence, “Why don’t you get some more rest? It’s only been what? An hour” Judd questioned as he looked at his watch.
He saw Grace shift next to him, leaning back on her chair. After a moment, he heard Judd clear his throat, clearly having received a silent message from Grace to change the tender subject of sleep. “Well, I cooked up some chicken noodle soup while you were out, Gracies recipe,” He said, starting to dish out a bowl. He walked over to the table, placing one in front of TK and the other in front of Grace, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead before going back to retrieve his own.
Grace and Judd spoke while they ate, and TK couldn't help but feel a flicker of jealousy, their warm smiles and silent conversations as they looked at each other.
The lock clicked, and Carlos slipped through the door, “Hey,” He breathed, rolling his neck as he locked the door behind him.
TK looked up from the island, “Hey, how was work?” He smiled as Carlos slipped his shoes off, walking over to the couch.
“Long,” Carlos breathed. He furrowed his brows for a moment, sniffing the air, “Did you order something?” He asked.
TK gave a teasing smile, wiggling his brows, “Nope,” He said.
Carlos pushed himself off the sofa, “I didn’t think we had leftovers in the fridge,” Carlos said.
TK cocked his head to the side, his brows raised, “Seriously,” He said.
Carlos came to the island, pausing. His eyes grew wider as he surveyed the counter, “You cooked?” He said,
On the island were plates, cutlery and two large pots on placemats.
TK gave a small laugh, holding his hands out in front of him, “Okay, little offended at how surprised you sound,” He smiled.
Carlos reciprocated the laugh, “I’m sorry, it’s just, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cook,” That was true. Besides reheating Carlos’s meal or the odd snack, TK did little in the kitchen.
“Well, that’s because you’re so good at it,” TK smiled, “But back in New York, I did eat, you know, and it wasn’t all take away,”
Carlos walked around to stand behind TK, his arms coming to wrap around TK’s waist, his chin nestled in the crook of TK’s neck, “So what’s on the menu tonight,” He purred.
TK laughed as small kisses peppered his neck as he spoke, “Well, we’ve got chicken pasta with pesto; homemade,” He said, turning on the spot to face Carlos.
Carlos raised a brow, “You made homemade pesto,” He asked.
TK gave a playful shrug, “I have many talents,” He said, wrapping his arms around Carlos’s shoulders.
“Clearly,” Carlos said, a teasing smile on his lips as he racked his hand’s around TK’s lower back, “I’m looking forward to discovering them,” He said. They ate an hour later than planned, but TK didn’t mind; their chairs pulled close together as they ate.
“So, thoughts?” TK said, pushing his own food around on his plate, all consumed with what Carlos thought.
“It’s great,” Carlos smiled, wiping his mouth with the cloth.
TK leaned forward, “Really? You’re not just saying that,” TK asked, rolling his lip between his teeth.
Carlos reached out, taking TK’s hand, “It’s great Ty,” He soothed, kissing TK’s knuckles, “Thank you,”
TK settled back in his chair, enjoying his meal as he watched Carlos smiling as he ate his.
He stared down at the food before him, his spoon perfectly still in the bowl. He felt the smile on his lips as the memory played over in his mind. Then, the memory burned away, revealing the empty chair across from him. Small ripples appeared in the soup as TK’s hand shook, “Am I really going to have to tell you to eat your vegetables?” Judd said from across the table.
The harsh lines of the spoon became softer as TK’s eyes welled; it seemed lately they were filled with tears more often than not.
“You okay, TK?” Grace asked.
Is this what his life would be? Everything reminding him of what he had, of what he lost. Sleeping, eating, breathing, everything reminded him of Carlos. Things they did together, TK now did alone, and every time he did, he felt a piece of himself drift away, joining Carlos in that hospital bed.
He dropped the spoon on the table, sitting back, “Yeah, yeah, I’m just...not hungry,”
He heard Judd sigh across the table, ”Kid, I know the last thing you wanna do right now is eat and rest but, you’ve gotta,” TK closed his eyes. He didn’t want to hear this, “I know it's hard, hell damn near impossible, when you’re worried about someone else, but you’ve got to take care of yourself, man,” TK had yelled at his dad about the same thing, and knew logically that not sleeping or eating wouldn’t help Carlos.
He reached out, taking the spoon in his hands and taking a few bites, coming to grips with the fact that maybe this was his new reality.
TK made it through half of the bowl, giving Judd and thankful nod as he cleared the plates. TK rose from the table, “I think imma head back to the hospital,” he said.
Over the last day, he had worked out that the pain of watching Carlos in that hospital bed wasn’t as bad as the pain of being away from him, the pain of not being able to touch him.
“Okay,” Judd said, standing from his seat, “I’ll drive you,” He remarked.
“You-you don’t have to; I can just grab a cab,” He said, the Ryder having already done so much for him.
“It’s no bother brother, I'm with you,” He said, walking away from the table, “lemme just grab my keys,” and with that, he disappeared down the hall.
TK just stood there, his hands and arms wrapped close. “I know you’re scared,” Grace said, carefully pushing herself up from the table, “and I know nothing we say can change that,” He gave a soft smile, the corners of his lips barely raising, his arms dropping by his side. “But whatever that memory was that made you smile a minute ago, you hold onto that, and you hold onto him,” She said, giving TK’s hand a gentle squeeze, “You just gotta give him time, time to find his way back to you, and he will,” TK felt his eyes well again, but this time, there was a flicker of hope in the tears.
He heard Judd come back down the hall, holding the keys between his fingers, “Thank you, Grace,” He said, squeezing her hand back, “That’s a lucky kid,” he said, nodding his head to her hand that was resting on her stomach. She smiled back, sitting back down on the chair as TK walked over to Judd.
The journey to the hospital was quiet, TK staring out the window the entire time. Every time they grew closer, every time TK saw a sign for the hospital, his chest tightened.
They pulled into the parking lot, and TK just sat there, staring at the hospital doors as they opened and closed as people filtered in.
Blue and red lights blinded TK’s eyes as an ambulance screeched into the lot, its sirens loud and piercing.
The tires shrieked to a stop, smoke rising from the burning rubber. TK threw the door open, staggering out of the car into the cold night. Coughs ripped through his chest as he ducked and weaved through people, charging through the main doors of the hospital.
There were people everywhere, but none of them was the one he wanted to see.
“Where-” TK gasped, almost collapsing on the hospital desk, “Where is Carlos?”
The nurse just started up at TK, unsure what he was talking about.
“TK,” He spun to see Tommy and Nancy coming down the hall.
Blood.
That was the first thing he noticed.
The blood that was covering their white gloves. Tommy and Nancy both seemed to notice, snapping the gloves off their hands and dumping them in the trash.
“Where, where is he,” He gasped, meeting them in the middle of the hospital room.
“TK, I need you to take a breath,” Tommy said.
No, no, that's not what TK needed, “Where is he?” He snapped. He needed to know where Carlos was, see him, hear his voice, and touch him.
Nancy stepped forward, her hand on TK’s shoulder, “They took him down to surgery,” He said.
“Surgery?” He repeated, his mind spinning and legs feeling weak, “What,” He gasped, another cough taking over his chest.
He heard voices speaking but couldn’t register what was going on. It was then he noticed the 126 pouring into the waiting room. They were meant to be putting the fire out in their home, then TK remembers the 129 had turned up to take over.
Paul and Marjan were saying something, concerned hands resting on his shoulders, "Look's like a 2nd degree burn, it needs to be cleaned and dressed," He heard Marjan say next to him.
TK couldn't feel the burn, couldn't feel anything except the deep need to see Carlos.
“Why didn’t you get him out first,” He gasped, not sure who he was speaking to. He had begged them to get Carlos first, to ignore him and go to Carlos. He’d been half-conscious when they’d turned up and could barely muster to plead for them to save the man down the hall. “I told you, I begged you to get to him first,” He cried again. He listed his arm to run it through his hair.
An overwhelming, all-consuming pain was awoken in TK’s arm. He cried out, almost falling to his knees, and he lowered his arm, holding it close to him.
Mistake. Big Mistake.
The material of his hoodie dug and scratched his raw skin, little tiny knives cutting his flesh.
“You need to see a doctor TK,” Tommy said, stepping closer to him, her hand reaching out for TK.
“No, no, I’m fine,” He said, his eyes still pressed shut as the pain continued to travel around his body, draining the energy from him.
“TK, you ain’t fine,” Judd said from behind him.
He wasn’t. He wasn’t fine.
Carlos was in surgery, he was hurt, and TK was alive. It was all wrong,
He went to speak, but the ground shifted, tilting to the side, and TK could do nothing but shift and fall with it.
The flashing lights of the ambulance illuminated the inside of the car. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice nearly hidden by the sound of the ambulance pulling out of the lot, taking the lights with him, “For blaming you guys, when we were at the hospital,” TK explained, ducking his head to look into his lap, “I was just…” His breath shuddered, “I was so angry and scared, and I took it out on you guys, you did everything you could,” He said, not missing how his words sounded like what he would say to the families of patients he had lost. “I shouldn’t have left him,” He confessed. The guilt of that decision had weighed so heavy on TK’s shoulder, sometimes breathing was almost too much.
“You didn’t leave him,” Judd said, “You were trying to save him,”
“But I didn’t” He’d left the room with a promise to come back, and he didn’t. “But you guys did,” He said. If the 126 hadn’t turned up when they had, TK was sure neither of them would have made it out of the fire, although TK would argue that Carlos hadn’t entirely made it out, and neither in a way had TK.
“We’re family; we watch out for one another”, Judd assured, “So we’re going to watch over Carlos, and we're going to watch out for you,” TK nodded.
He pushed the door open and stepped out of the car, walking across the lot with Judd and into the hospital.
TK walked down the hall, knowing where he was going without having to be told. He stopped a few feet short of the door, trying to prepare himself for what he was about to see.
TK stepped forward, pushing the door open.
No amount of breathing, or waiting could have prepared him. He’d seen Carlos in the hospital bed, knew what he would look like but still, it hit him like a bullet.
Gabriel was sitting by Carlos' bed, his hand on top of his sons. He turned his head, giving TK a soft smile, “TK,” he breathed.
TK stepped closer into the room, his hands instinctively going into his hoodie pocket. TK stepped closer to the bed, his eyes fixated on Carlos and all the wires attached to him, “How’s he doing,” He asked his voice low.
Gabriel sighed, “There's no change; the doctors say that isn’t necessarily a bad thing,” He said.
TK slipped into the chair next to Carlos’s head, Gabriel on the other side, “My boys strong, a fighter, he’ll wake up,” There was a proud smile on Gabriel’s lips, and TK couldn't help the jealousy that ran through him at the confidence of the man's words, “You’ve just gotta have faith in him,” He did, he just didn’t have faith that life would be kind to either of them. Life had dangled so much loss in front of him over the year, yet always returned his loves one, TK couldn't help but wonder if life would be so generous this time.
“How’s Mrs Reyes?” TK asked, pulling his hands out of his pocket, bundling them in his lap.
“Andrea,” Gabriel corrected.
TK gave a slight laugh, for all the shit he gave Carlos about calling his dad Captain, and here TK was doing the same thing. He looked at Carlos’s face, no hint of a smile.
“She’s with your dad; he managed to convince her to grab some food,” He just nodded, “She didn’t want to leave, but she needed a break,” TK looked over the man, and TK could say the same for him.
“I’m sorry I left,” TK said. He’d left Gabriel and Andrea alone. This was their son, they were hurting just as bad, yet neither of them had run away.
“It’s okay, son, we all need a break sometimes,” Gabriel comforted, “Carlos wouldn’t want you cooped up in this room,” A sad smile spread across his lips, “He loves you,” It wasn’t a question, and TK found himself smiling at the words.
Gabriel cleared his throat, “TK, listen,” He said, leaning forward on his knees, “I’m sorry about what happened with your dad, the setup and arresting him...” He sighed, shaking his head, “We should have told you boys,” They should have; it would have saved them both a lot of heartache.
They’d worked through what happened, TK had apologised profusely for the blow-up at the station, and there was still a flicker of shame and guilt that hovered in the dark corners of his heart.
He’d been angry at his dad, and Gabriel too, angry that they lied and deceived them both for their own game. But right now, If TK was honest, he didn't care about any of that, didn’t care about his dad’s arrest, his dad’s reckless actions; a part of him didn’t even care about the investigation into the arson; he just cared about the painfully still man in front of him unable to breathe on his own.
Gabriel stood from the chair, walking around the bed and placing a hand on TK’s shoulder, “I’m going to grab a coffee, watch over him, will you,” he said, leaving TK alone.
The machines beeping and breathing filled the room. TK shuffled the chair closer. He reached out, brushing his finger across Carlos’s forehead, pushing a loose curl from his head.
“Hey babe,” He whispered, his hand coming to rest on Carlos’s cheek, “Sorry I was gone for a while, but I’m back now,” His thumb brushed the cold cheek, and TK tried to imagine it was warm.
He squeezed his eyes shut; Carlos was alive. He cleared his throat, “The doctors say you haven’t changed, which they see is good, but...” He might not be getting worse, but he wasn’t getting better. TK reached out with his other hand, taking Carlos’s hand in his. He brought the hand to his lips, “I’d really like it if you woke up, okay?” he spoke against the skin like the words could breathe life into Carlos, “In fact, I need you to wake up,” TK corrected.
There was no movement, no sounds.
TK’s head hung forward, shaking from side to side, “I don’t know how to do this without you,” Be okay, live a normal life, TK didn’t know how to do any of it without Carlos, “You’re, you’re always here, always the one to calm me down and tell me it’s going to be okay,” He choked on his words, tears spilling down his cheek, “So I need you to tell me it's okay, I need you to tell me it’s going to be okay Carlos,” He begged.
TK rolled his head to the side, Carlos’s face inches from his. Carlos reached out, his hand brushing TK’s cheek, “Hey, it’s okay,” He soothed, a sweet smile on his lips.
“Urgh,” He groaned, shifting on the bed, “What happened,” He asked.
“You're at the hospital; you passed out again in the ambulance,” Ambulance- right, the gunman, the hit on the head. TK looked around the room, the white walls of the hospital room stinging his eyes, far too bright.
He tried to sit up, his head spinning and feeling like the bed was moving. He slumped back down in the bed, “My head,” He murmured.
Carlos’s hand was still on TK’s cheek, “Yeah, the doctor said you were going to feel a little groggy,” His voice was quiet like he knew TK needed the volume turned down, his head pounding.
TK rolled his head to the side, closing his eyes tight, “Ugh, I feel like I have the world’s worst hangover, and I’ve had some bad ones,” He heard Carlos chuckle, the hand on his cheek moving to his upper arm.
“They asked if you wanted painkillers, but we said we would wait for you to wake up to decide,” Carlos said.
TK gave a gentle shake of his head to indicate no, “I’m good,” he groaned.
“It’s not a relapse, you know,” Carlos said.
“I know, I’m good,” TK had made it this far, one year. He wasn’t about to undo that for a headache, no matter how much it fucking hurt.
Carlos brought TK’s hands to his lips, “I’m so proud of you,” He said, kissing the skin.
He scoffed, “I didn’t do anything besides get whacked with a gun,” he said.
“By trying to save Tommy and Nancy...which was reckless and dangerous by the way,” TK turned to see his boyfriend raising his brows at him.
“Wait, so are you angry or proud?” TK asked, a sly smile on his lips.
“I’m not angry,” Carlos assured, the smile still on his lips, “I’ve learned that reckless selflessness is just part of who you are, and I love you for it,” TK gently brought Carlos’s hands to his own lips, placing a gentle kiss against it, “I spoke to my boss, got the week off,” Carlos said.
TK bunched his brows together, “Why’d you do that? I’ll be outta here later today,” He said.
Carlos clocked his head to the side, “It’s a serious concussion, TK you’re going to need some time to recover and,” He sighed, ducking his head, “Seeing you in that room with that gunman, I just, I just wanna be close to you,” TK understood that. He wanted to be close to Carlos too, wanted to hold onto the man forever and not let go.
“I love you,” TK breathed, their hands coming to rest gently on TK’s chest.
“I love you too,” Carlos said, his smile turning to one of teasing, “But could this be the last time I see you in a hospital bed? Twice is enough,” he said, his fingers playing with TK’s.
TK laughed, despite how it made his head spin, “I guess it’s your turn next, huh? I get to play nurse,” TK said, giving a playful raise of his brow.
Carlos sat back on the bed, looking at TK, his head pulled to the side, “I think I could pull off the hospital gown,” He teased. TK tried to laugh again, but this time the pain was just too much.
He grunted, his eyes pulled shut. “Hey,” Carlos comforted, “You’re okay,” He said, placing a kiss on TK’s bandaged head.
“You’re okay,” he repeated as TK drifted back off to sleep.
He pressed his eyes shut, holding onto the warmth of that kiss. More tears poured down his cheeks. A sob escaped his lips, one he had been holding in for days. TK pressed Carlos’s hand to his cheek, tears racking over both their hands, “I can’t do this, Carlos’s,” He wept, each word getting caught in his throat as he tried to speak, “I wanna be strong, and everyone keeps telling me that you’re strong and I know that but I...I need you, here, I need you awake and by my side,” This wasn’t what TK meant when he said by his side. He meant them being partners, them being by each other's sides to support the other, not TK alone, begging the still body next to him to wake up.
“Don’t make me do this alone,” He whispered, the fight in his voice draining away.
TK’s eyes flew open.
He pulled Carlos’s hand from his face. It was still.
He must have imagined it, but for a moment, TK could have sworn he felt he felt Carlos’s finger twitch.
TK stopped breathing, hoping with everything he had that hadn’t been another desperate illusion his mind had made up.
Carlos’s eyes blinked open, flying open as his mind seemed to register the foreign object in his throat, helping him breathe.
The steady beeping of the machines increased, “Nurse!” He screamed, leaping from his chair to cup Carlos’s face, their eyes locking for the first time in weeks. The beeping continued to quicken, reaching a crescendo as Carlos gagged and coughed.
“Babe, babe, just breathe,” He soothed, his finger soothing Carlos’s cheek. The beep started to slow, no longer frantic “it’s okay, you're okay,” TK repeated.
“You’re okay,” TK said again as he stepped back from the bed, letting the nurses do their work. You’re okay, and for the first time in days, TK meant it.
The nurses removed the ventilator and tubes from Carlos, giving him a check before confirming to the anxious group outside that he was okay, and there appeared to be no lasting injuries. TK almost collapsed on the spot, only being held up by Andrea’s arm linked through his as they all stood listening.
“You can go see him now,” The nurse smiled, her eyes flicking over to TK, “He was asking about you,” She finished, giving him a nod as she left.
TK went to head towards the hospital room when he paused, turning to look at Gabriel and Andrea hugging each other. Gabriel caught TK’s eyes as they parted, his arm still wrapped around his wife, “Why don’t you go ahead? We’ll be along in a bit,” Gabriel said, giving TK a reassuring smile, “Seems like he’s been asking after you,” TK gave the man a thankful nod, turning on his heels and down the hall.
TK came to the hospital room door, pushing it open.
Carlos was no longer still on the bed but propped up, his eyes open, although they seemed heavy and near closed. TK rushed into the room, Carlos’s head slowly turning towards him, “Hey, hey, you’re okay, you’re awake,” He said in a soft voice, coming to sit on the chair next to Carlos’s side. Carlos smiled up at him, and TK felt his lip quiver as he spoke, a smile growing on his lips, “Hi, babe, hey,” He cooed.
Carlos’s hand shifted on the bed, his fingers laying on top of TK’s, “Hey,” Carlos smiled, reaching up and brushing TK’s cheek, “You’re okay,” he said.
TK laughed; of course Carlos would be thinking about him after waking from a coma, “Yeah, I’m okay, I’m fine,” He said, deciding to leave out the burns on himself, that being a conversation for another day, “How are you feeling?” TK asked, his voice turning more serious this time.
“Tired,” Carlos sighed, a rough cough escaping his lips, “How long have I been asleep,” he asked.
Asleep wasn’t the word TK would use; sleep was peaceful, it wasn’t brought on by lack of oxygen, it didn’t require tubes and wires to be inserted. TK just squeezed Carlos’s hand, pulling himself out of the thought, “A few days,” he said.
“Days?” Carlos said, his brows raised in shock.
“You took in a lot of smoke, and you stopped breathing for a while,” He said, the words the doctor had told him those days ago still ringing clear in his mind, “You were on a ventilator,” He heard his voice growing quieter, weaker as he spoke. It was like he had been pulled out of a nightmare, awoken and able to see what had really been happening, how close he’d come to losing everything, “They didn’t know if you’d wake up,” It was barely audio, and the last part was a mix between words and a gasp.
“Hey,” Carlos said, tilting TK’s chin to look at him, “I’m alright,” He smiled.
He was bruised and burnt, dark circles under his eyes and his skin paler than usual. But he was warm, he was moving, he was speaking to TK, and most importantly, he was alive.
TK leant forward, another sob escaping his mouth. This one wasn’t from fear or from sadness but from relief, pure euphoric relief. His head came forward, coming to rest gently on Carlos’s chest, “Shhh, babe, I’m here,” Carlos soothed, his arm coming to wrap around TK, rubbing comforting circles down his back, “It’s okay, we’re okay,” he said.
After a moment, TK’s pulled his head up, his face inches from Carlos, “I was so scared,” He admitted, “Scared that I would never see these big brown soulful eyes again,” He smiled, his hand tracing the side of Carlos’s face.
Carlos gave a sweet laugh, and TK almost broke down again entirely at hearing it. Carlos leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on TK’s lips, their lips hovering close as they parted. Carlos lent their foreheads together, “I’m not going anywhere okay, I’m right here,” He said,
He could tell the man was trying to reassure TK, and TK was grateful for it. Part of him was still worried that if he looked away for a moment, Carlos would be back in that coma.
Carlos turned his head to kiss TK’s hand, pulling his head back and raising his hand to cup TK’s forearm, “What happened?” He asked, carefully rolling down TK’s jumper.
TK shook his head, trying to reach out and pull the jumper back down, but Carlos swatted his hand away, “It’s nothing,” He sighed.
Carlos clocked his head to the side, “You’re hurt,” he frowned.
“I’m fine, it's nothing, you’re the one that’s been in a coma,” He said, trying to plaster a smile on his face.
Carlos just watched TK, pulling his sleeve up a little higher to reveal how large the bandage was, “TK,” he gasped. Close closed his eyes tight, shaking his head, “You don’t have to lie to me, babe, I’m okay, tell me what happened,” He asked, his thumb gently running over the bandage.
“Just a few burns, the doctor said they’ll heal,” He said. Carlos stared at him, clearly questioning if that was the whole truth. Carlos brought the bandage to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on the fabric.
Carlos placed TK’s arm back on the bed, reaching up to run his hand through his hair, “You look as tired as I feel,” he said.
TK gave a small snort, “Thanks, babe,” he joked.
“Please tell me you haven’t just sat here for days?” He asked. TK’s lack of response and diverted eyes were enough of an answer for Carlos. He gave TK a pleading look.
“I didn’t want to leave you; I didn’t know what would happen if I left,” The last time TK had left Carlos alone, he hadn’t been able to get back, and TK wasn’t going to risk that again, “I took off for an hour today, watching you still was just….” Unbearable, impossible, there were too many words and yet none of them were enough to describe the pain.
Carlos’s hand travelled down to TK’s, their fingers interlocked, “I went by the house,” he whispered.
TK was sure that ash and soot still clung to his clothes, his fingertips still stained with the ash.
He felt Carlos’s hand squeeze his own, a lifeline bringing him back to the present, “We’ll get another one,” Carlos simply said, “It’s just a house, we can buy a new one, buy new things,” TK nodded, the ache still in his chest over losing his home, their home, “I’m sure your dad has some architecture magazines he’d love to show us,” He teased, and TK gave a playful groan at the idea of his dad getting involved in the design process, “I know it was our home, and….” Carlos paused, not from lack of breath this time; he swallowed hard, “It’s hard to know it’s gone but, we’ll create a new home, our home,” TK smiled, bringing Carlos’s hands to his lips, kissing the warm and alive skin.
“I love you,” TK breathed, his eyes welling.
Carlos smiled back, his free hand laying on TK’s knee, squeezing it, “I love you too,”
If TK was honest, he didn’t care where they lived, what their house looked like or what it was filled with. All he cared about was Carlos was there. Because nowhere would be home without the man he loved.