Chapter Text
Kaneki carefully navigates his way through deserted streets and secluded alleyways, walking with his head down, not that it’ll do him much good if he does pass someone. He’s painfully aware of how his white hair reflects the moonlight, shining pure like a beacon even under the muddy yellow of streetlights. He knows this area well, knows which side streets and shortcuts to use, and which to avoid. He moves almost by instinct, which is… probably good. If it were any less automatic, he doubts he’d be moving at all.
He still can’t believe he’s doing this. This is such a bad idea.
He reaches the building that houses his old apartment. He stares up at it, unable to enter the parking lot as a heavy feeling of dread settles over him. There’s no way he can do this. Even if he hasn’t already been evicted, he can’t just reappear out of nowhere. People will ask too many questions and he’d be able to answer so few of them, not to mention he doesn’t have a job anymore and wouldn’t be able to pay rent.
But… where else can he go?
Banjou was kind enough to say he’s always welcome to stay with him and his crew, which is where Kaneki had been staying for the past while, but despite their assurances that he hadn’t, he felt like he overstayed his welcome. Which is why he left. So he can’t just go back . He can’t go find Touka and Hinami, because not only does he have no idea where they ended up, he doubts Touka would even tolerate his presence after the stunt he pulled. He’s considered going to Uta or Itori, but he’s ruled them out; even for him, the 4th ward is a dangerous place, and Itori pries too much.
So that just leaves here, or living on the streets again.
If he were to stay here, what would he do? Just try to live as normal? For so long he wanted to go back to living a normal life, and even now that he knows that’s impossible, why does he still want to try?
A loud yowl startles him out of his own head.
For a moment, he’s tense, ready to fight or flee, frantically searching for the source of the noise. Then, he relaxes. It’s just some stray cats fighting over a scrap of what might be fish.
For some odd reason, the sight makes him feel… nostalgic. There’s something so familiar about it, something he can’t quite place…
He lets out a slight sigh and shakes his head, before turning away. Then, before he has the chance to start thinking again, he steps into the parking lot and starts walking toward the steps. He doesn’t want to dwell on it anymore, he just wants somewhere to sleep. If this doesn’t work out- it won’t he knows it won’t -he’ll just find somewhere else. Tokyo is a big city; there will always be other options, even if they take a bit of effort to find.
The pavement is cold, but smooth, a welcome sensation for his abused feet. He quickly makes his way up the stairs and to his old apartment. He peers in the front window… it looks untouched. No new furniture, no new people.
It only dawns on him as he reaches for the doorknob that he doesn’t have a key for it anymore.
... shit.
It’s fine, it’s okay, he’ll just…
He looks around, making sure nobody is around, and that no lights have come on. The coast seems to be clear, so he leans against the door, turning the doorknob before pressing on the door with his shoulder. With a good bit of force, the lock breaks. He’s busted doors open a few times over the recent months, and has gotten a general idea of just how much force it takes… and his apartment’s lock is pretty old, so it doesn’t take much.
He looks around again to make sure nobody noticed, before slipping inside and carefully closing the door behind him.
The place is surprisingly well kept, aside from a layer of dust covering everything. Though it makes sense; he doesn’t think anyone else would have any reason to come here. He’ll have to clean up at some point, but not now. He just wants to sleep. He makes his way to his couch, and nearly collapses on it, all the fatigue from the previous weeks crashing down on him in an instant. Only a few moments pass before he’s out like a light.