Chapter Text
“I don’t understand,” Hange said as she scanned the distance, “Where could they be?”
They were walking hurriedly through the near empty streets in the dark, with Onyankopon leading them and Levi holding a kerosene lantern to illuminate the way. It had been nearly two hours but there was still no sign of the kids anywhere. Hange cursed herself for her carelessness. She was having so much fun pestering Levi to dance for the third song in a row when he brought her back to her senses by reminding her of the missing kids.
How could she have forgotten them that easily?
“We don’t even know if they are there anymore,” Levi muttered, his eyes darting across the line of tents they passed by.
“There’s one more laborer settlement nearby,” Onyankopon reassured, “ There’s a high chance we will find them there. Let’s go check it out.”
Hange wondered if Levi was angry at her for putting his squad in risk yet again. Should she have listened to him and made them come back immediately, even if that meant denying them of their desire to explore and mingle with others?
Of course not. That would go against the basic ideals of freedom that the Survey Corps stood for. Only when people are free to understand different perspectives is when they can come up with better and more inclusive solutions to problems that have their roots deeply intertwined with the structure of the society.
But that did not take away the fact that it was her fault that they were nowhere to be found right now. They had already searched through three laborer settlements and found nothing but people in poverty squatting around a single lamp. It was a stark contrast to the well-dressed few who milled about the footpaths near the richer parts of the area, one that had many guards patrolling the place to protect their property and ensure that the people from the poorer classes did not wander about unnecessarily.
Hange felt uncomfortable. If what Kiyomi was saying was true, and if these guards suddenly came over to them demanding their blood test reports, they would be caught in no time. Hopefully, the kids were safe somewhere. Or else...
Her fingers automatically sought the reassurance of the firearm hidden within her coat pocket. The three had carried standard Marleyan rifles along with them as protection, just in case they ran into trouble that talks alone could not solve. Hange hoped they wouldn’t be forced to use it.
They reached the final laborer settlement that Onyankopon was talking about. A row of tents were pitched up on the ground, lit from within by warm yellow light. The entrances were open, making it easy to take a quick glimpse inside.
The three of them parted ways to search through the tents, and it was not long before Onyankopon signaled them to come over to the tent he was looking at. Levi and Hange hurried over to him.
“Are they here?”
Hange’s jaw dropped in surprise as she looked at the scene spread out before her.
“Oh my…”
In front of them lay the kids, all of them completely passed out on the carpet along with the equally drunk inhabitants of the tent, except for Sasha, who was throwing up in a small bucket nearby. Mikasa and Armin lay on either side of Eren, whose leg was thrown over Jean’s head, meanwhile Connie dozed off sitting back-to-back with one of the laborers, a cap on top of his head.
A wave of relief hit Hange. The kids were safe.
Now that her fear subsided considerably, warmth spread inside her heart to see them like that. It felt so normal that they would fool around in their age, almost as if they weren’t war-hardened soldiers who had gone through too much loss and pain. It made Hange think back to her own past as well, to the time when she used to get drunk with her friends and subordinates two days before any expedition, or after a particularly grueling meeting, or to celebrate a successful experiment.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a gruff voice from the grumpy man next to her. “What a bunch of good for nothings,” Levi muttered as he nudged Armin’s shoulder with his boot.
But Hange saw the relief beneath the mask of disgust he put up on his face. After a moment of silent observation, his eyes had softened. His brow was less scrunched and his forehead smoothened out.
Hange let a little smile form on her lips. “Well, well. Looks like they are absolutely wasted.”
“Isn’t that the boy from the market?” Levi pointed at the pickpocket he rescued earlier.
Onyankopon nodded. “These are people whose homes have been destroyed due to the war. Remember the ongoing war with the middle-east that I told you about? The people living here are probably immigrants from those countries.”
“I see.”
Hange felt sad at the fact that humanity outside the walls were still not free, still trapped in the clutches of war, discrimination, poverty, and loss. Here they were, naively thinking that beyond the walls lay freedom. It was all so ironic.
Levi huffed. “Seems like we have to drag them back to the mansion.”
“Right,” she spurred back into action, kneeling before the kids to try to wake them up one by one.
Eren was the only one out of the group who seemed sober enough to walk without support. He lifted Mikasa, circling her arm around his shoulder as Onyankopon did the same to Connie. Hange helped Jean up, the tall boy reeking of alcohol and heavily leaning on her side as he staggered along. Levi walked next to her, dragging Sasha with one hand and Armin with the other.
The kids were drunk beyond sense, and it was just a matter of time before Jean and Connie, who were mumbling something incomprehensible, broke into a fit of giggles as Armin tried in vain to shush them. Mikasa threw an arm around Eren’s waist and Hange gave the two of them some space to walk by themselves. Halfway through the street, the semi-conscious Sasha gave a violent lurch and puked all over Levi’s dark blue suit, much to his dismay.
“Tch,” he made the two of them lean by a lamppost as he wiped himself down with his handkerchief. “Stop drinking like pigs.”
Hange gave an amused chuckle. “She looks like she can barely hear you, Levi. At least we are almost there now.”
“I hope none of them divulged anything important,” Onyankopon said, catching Sasha with his free hand before she could fall to the ground.
“Please, looking at the state the tent inhabitants were in, I highly doubt anyone would remember anything about it tomorrow morning.”
“Hey,” An unfamiliar voice interrupted their conversation. “Where are you all going at this hour?”
Hange’s heart skipped a beat as she turned around to see one of the Marleyan patrol guards approach them. Oh shit, here we go, she thought. Next to her, Levi tensed up.
Onyankopon jumped in to the rescue.
“We are just taking the drunk children back to our home,” he said in a well-natured way.
“Children?” the guard took in the sight of all of them. “They all look like big trees. Whose children are they?”
Onyankopon did not bat an eyelid. “Theirs,” he pointed towards Levi and Hange.
Hange was stumped at that. The 104th? Her and Levi’s children? How was that even believable?
On a second thought, it hit her that she and Levi probably were the closest things to parent figures that most of them had in the military after the battle of Shiganshina. And the two of them did care about the kids a lot, there was no doubt about that.
She felt something heavy build up in her throat. They really were as good as their children. Not that the patrol guard knew any of that.
Without thinking of the consequences, she lashed out at the guard in her best attempt at righteous parental anger. “It’s rude to compare my kids to trees, you know?” She stretched the arm that wasn’t supporting Jean and wrapped it around Levi’s shoulder, bringing him closer to her. “My husband and I are deeply hurt.”
After the words left her mouth, she internally slapped a palm on her forehead. Once again, she had dragged Levi into another one of her ridiculous skits. It's alright, he won't mind, she told herself. Didn’t he drag you and Sasha into one of his own to save that pickpocket earlier today?
Levi’s shoulders felt stiffer than ever, but Hange did not spare a glance at him.
“Husband?” The guard looked like he wasn’t convinced in the slightest. He pointed at Armin. “That one has blond hair.”
Hange let out a dramatic gasp. “Are you blaming me for adultery?”
“No, no, ma’am,” The guard blinked in confusion, as if this was not the direction he expected the conversation to take. “I just-”
“Can’t a couple adopt children in peace without being judged by strangers like you?” Levi said, his tone grim, and Hange was mildly surprised he was going along with it well. “We give war orphans a place to call home, for your information.”
The guard eyed them suspiciously once again. Hange dreaded whatever he was about to say next. If he asked them to come over with him for a blood test or something, they would have no other choice but to resort to violence.
Luckily for them, a voice sounded from the distance.
“Hey Sam,” another guard waved over towards him from the entrance of one of the alleys. “You won’t believe what we found! Come 'ere!”
The guard in front of them, Sam, looked torn between what to do. After a second, he sighed in resignation and turned his back on them.
“Whatever. Just don’t make a ruckus.”
Once he had turned past the bend into the distant alley, they all let loose a sigh of relief.
“That was close. I was dreading the worst case scenario,” Hange admitted.
Levi wriggled out of her arm around his shoulder, “I had a knife hidden and ready in my hand.”
Onyankopon raised an eyebrow at that. “Why a knife when you have a pistol?”
“Knives are always less conspicuous.”
Hange grinned. The first time she had seen Levi in the Survey Corps headquarters was when he was a thug fresh out of the underground. Absolutely smitten by his skills and his graceful maneuvering, she had decided to make friends with him, no matter what. Levi’s behavior was incredibly fascinating to her. He was a mix of glaring contradictions and there seemed to be so much more to him than what he initially let out.
“Remind me to tell you a story later, Onyankopon,” Hange said, thinking of her first expedition with Levi.
“Huh? Alright.”
Once they reached the Azumabito’s place, Hange, along with Onyankopon’s help, put all the children in their lodgings to sleep as Levi handed over his coat for laundry. Eren and Armin in one room, Sasha and Mikasa in another and Connie and Jean together. Once everyone was tucked in safely, Onyankopon parted ways to go to his room, the one that he shared with Kiyomi’s nephew, leaving Hange and Levi to return to their own shared guest suite.
The guest suite was very opulent- with two heavenly soft single beds that felt like bits of fluffy clouds, a red velvet sofa next to a fireplace, a closet and shelves made of polished wood and glass with some candles and books stocked inside them, and a small attached bathroom, towards which Levi was making a beeline as soon as he got in.
“Looks like we are finally retiring for the night,” Hange said, closing the door behind her. “I hate to admit it, but I think my back misses a bed. Are these signs of old age?”
Levi grabbed some night clothes from his suitcase. “You slept curled up on a couch in the ship last night, of course your back hurts.”
“Please, I don't see you complain of back aches after sleeping in chairs all the time.”
He shrugged. “It’s just what feels most comfortable to me. I’m gonna go have a bath.”
“Right,” Hange dug into her suitcase as well, “I’ll change my clothes till then.”
As Levi locked himself inside the bathroom, Hange shrugged off her coat and removed all the things she had stashed inside it, including the rifle and the now-molten lollipop that was stuck inside her pocket. Ah, that was a bad idea.
She could hear the sound of water splashing from inside the bathroom as she undid the buttons of her shirt. Having been comrades for a long time, she felt more comfortable in Levi’s presence than anyone else’s. He had been a constant source of support after Shiganshina, never leaving her side, and sometimes, even being quite overprotective over her.
Hange supposed it was understandable, considering they only had each other to confide in now. Although she was offered a separate home by the government- thanks to her position as a Commander- she declined the offer and instead, chose to live in one of the officer rooms next to Levi’s. Whenever anxieties, insecurities and the fear of the unknown threatened to take over her, she’d go over to Levi’s room and have some tea with him to calm herself down.
She had shared so much of the past decade with him: going on expeditions outside the walls, fighting two battles to retake Wall Maria, investigating the intelligent titans, helping overthrow the government, conducting rescue missions, and discovering the existence of the world, countries, politics, and a 2000 year old history of systemic oppression and hate.
Being the last of the veterans, with the responsibility of the 104th in their hands and only each other to rely on, the bond forged between them was absolutely unbreakable.
Hange let out a small snort as she snapped the last button of her loose pajama shirt in its place. Although this was a high-stakes diplomatic trip that decided the fate of Eldia and Paradis, she supposed this was the closest she could get to a family vacation.
After lighting the fireplace, she went out to hand over her coat for laundry to one of the servants. Re-entering the room, she found Levi, who had a towel wrapped around his waist, selecting a loose, old tunic to wear for the night. A part of her admired how toned his body was, for he had honed himself meticulously to be humanity’s strongest weapon.
But he wasn’t a weapon, at least to Hange. In her eyes, he was just Levi, her dearest friend and closest companion.
She averted her eyes to give Levi some privacy, even though she doubted he really cared, and started exploring the room instead.
It looked like a room straight out of a noble’s residence back in Paradis, maybe a little more practical than that. Hange had never been the one to enjoy material luxuries, for it felt so frivolous to her compared to what she had experienced in life. The only luxuries she appreciated were being given opportunities to learn and understand the mysteries of the world and watching her friends making it back alive from life-threatening situations. So much for the latter.
“What a day, wasn’t it?” she muttered softly to the rustle of clothes behind, as her eyes caught on a small shelf filled with books. “No amount of maps or sketches could have prepared me for this trip.”
She ran a finger through the spines of the hard bound copies until it rested on a particular one with gold embossing in its brown leather skin.
“Oo, look what I found.”
She turned back and displayed the thick book to Levi who was pulling on his tunic. He quirked up a questioning brow, wet hair falling in sharp peaks over his grey eyes.
Hange’s breath caught in her throat. The light from the fireplace really made him look… pure. As if he was too pristine for the world.
“What is it?” his voice snapped her from her line of thoughts.
“A travel guide!” she said, masking whatever she felt on the sight of him. She took the book out and sat on the sofa in front of the fireplace, patting the seat next to her invitingly. “Come, let’s check it out.”
Levi sat next to her, the velvet sofa sinking under his weight. The fresh, clean scent of soap hit Hange as he leaned in closer, brushing his hair away from his face as she opened the book in her hand. The next half an hour was a blur of amazement and wonder as they flipped through the pages, looking in awe at the different places, culture, architecture and technology. It felt like they had opened a whole new world, with pages upon pages filled with depictions of sprawling landscapes, trees, birds and monuments. It was breathtaking.
“There are mountains that spit fire?” Hange gasped, “That’s so cool! I wish we had one in Paradis.”
“Are your glasses too dirty for you to read the paragraph below?” Levi pointed at a block of text underneath the picture of the volcano. “It says there have been multiple cities destroyed due to it. We already have enough trouble in Paradis as it is, there is no need to add more.”
“Ooh, see, apparently this place is where we can find the largest flower on earth. Look at how big it is in comparison to a human hand! Is it a type of titan flower?”
“That looks disgusting.”
“And what’s better is that it smells like a rotting corpse to attract creatures called bats to pollinate them.” A laugh bubbled out of her. “That’s ingenious!”
Levi was not impressed. “So, it smells disgusting too. I wouldn’t want to go anywhere near that.”
Hange kept flipping through the book till she froze at an illustration that spread out on two facing pages. Her heart raced with exhilaration at the discovery.
“Look, Levi,” she said, tapping at the very obvious picture. “Apparently, there’s a place in the north where wisps of green light dance across the night sky!” She leaned back on the sofa. “Ahh. How I wish we could get to roam freely in these places one day.”
“Yeah. That would be nice.”
Hange’s gaze turned to the crackling fire, her excited grip on the book loosening a little.
“I know we are taking up a huge risk by trying to make this almost-impossible diplomacy proposal work,” she swallowed down the anxiety that creeped up on her at the thought of the upcoming conference, “But if, by some ridiculous luck, everything goes right tomorrow, I’d like to explore the world with you someday.”
Levi was silent for a long minute, letting her proposal hang in the air. Then he replied.
“The brats today. All drunk and passed out in the tent. They reminded me of us that night in the bar.”
While she was confused at this abrupt change in topic, Hange knew exactly which night he was talking about. Once, around two years after the fall of Wall Maria, they had decided to cheer Erwin up by going to his favorite bar together after working hard to wrap up the year-end paperwork. Most of the night was a blur for Hange, as she had not restricted the amount of drinks she had ordered that night, leading to a particularly bad hangover the next morning. But she still could recall some snippets of memories- pestering Moblit to draw them all together in exchange for a bottle sponsored by her, Erwin laughing his heart out at some stupid joke, Nanaba grinning as she challenged Mike to chug three jugs of liquor back-to-back and Levi muttering at how much of a menace they were to society.
“Yeah,” she smiled in aching fondness at that memory. “Everyone was there, weren’t they? Erwin, Moblit, Mike, Nanaba, Gelgar, Marlene and Klaus.”
“Yeah. You did a lot of stupid things that night.”
“Did I, now?” she laughed. “I don’t remember half of it, but I remember having a lot of fun.”
After a moment, she said, her voice barely a whisper, “I wonder how they’d react, if they were here with us now.”
“They’d want us to keep moving forward,” Levi replied. “To give meaning to their deaths and live the lives they couldn’t. That’s the only way I can think of honoring their memories.”
Hange hummed in agreement before she realized what he was trying to say. Levi always spoke in roundabout ways. Because of years of practice in decoding his mixed messages, she was able to catch the essence of it.
We are bound to duty first. We have to make our fallen comrades proud. Only after that, can we think of ourselves and what’s next for us.
Hange understood. Hange understood it more than anyone else. She did not need a reminder, for the same sense of duty towards her comrades and humanity was embedded within her bones, ringing clear in her mind everyday. Her finger automatically brushed over the eyepatch on top of her ruined eye. She had seen too many of her friends bravely fulfil their purposes till their last breath and wondered if she would ever live up to their selflessness. She had been in the Scouts for long enough to know their life offered no promises of grand futures for them. Only the almost-certain possibility of a gruesome and early death.
But for tonight, just for tonight, she wanted to think there was still something in it for her. A hope of a bright future. Something that would make all the long years of sacrifices worth it.
She looked at Levi.
“Is that a yes to exploring the world with me then?”
She could see his throat bob before the shadow of a smile played on the edge of his lips.
“...sure, I guess.”
A grin broke out on Hange’s face.
“Wonderful,” she exclaimed, clapping her hands and rubbing her palms together, “Let’s make a list of places to visit then. Do we start with this tropical country? Look at all the biodiversity here! It would be fascinating to explore and research them, don’t you think? I wonder if there are plants with senses that move to touch or something like that…”
Page after page, Hange pointed out everything that piqued her curiosity. Hardly paying heed to the passage of time, she babbled on and on until she felt a warm weight pressing on her side. She looked at Levi to find out that he had fallen asleep, his breathing even and his head resting on her shoulder. For a moment, Hange considered waking him up, for there was a possibility that he might sprain his neck if he kept that position for a long time. But it was so rare to see him sleep this peacefully that she decided against it. Trying her best to not make any unnecessary movements, she continued reading the book in silence.
The world was extremely cruel, and both of them knew that better than anyone else. Even so, as she pressed her cheek against Levi’s damp hair and let her own eyelids droop to the soft crackle of the fireplace, Hange let herself dream of reaching horizons filled with hope.