Chapter Text
Langa couldn’t stop thinking about the way Reki’s hands felt on his skin, his short sleeve button-down just thin enough to feel the temperature of each of Reki’s fingertips clutching his shoulders so tightly. The scene played back in his head over and over again as Reki sat him down and went to grab the tool box. What made this different from Cherry or his mom touching him? Was it just a coincidence? Or was there actually something special about Reki? And if so, why Reki? Langa felt blush creeping up his chest, something he hadn’t experienced since high school, probably, and he tries to shove it back down before it spreads up his neck and into his face and--
A clink of something metal against his arm,
“Gah!” Langa’s body jolts, hair falling into his face, and unintentionally snatching his arm away. “Reki, I-- When did you get back?”
Reki raises an eyebrow in confusion. “Man, you looked right at me as I was walking over!” He laughs. “I’m really starting to make a habit out of scaring you, huh? Sorry ‘bout that. Is it okay if I get started?” He gestures to Langa’s arm, wrench in hand.
“Ah! No, no, don’t say sorry. It was my fault, I-I wasn’t paying attention,” Langa settles back into his chair and pushes the loose strands of hair away from his eyes before hesitantly offering his arm back. Reki frowns, watching Langa carefully, almost if he was trying to decide if it was really okay to start working again. Hands shaking, Langa reaches for Reki's hand, and places it on top of his automail. "I-it's okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... You can, uh, go ahead."
After several seconds, Reki's face finally softens, eyes brightening, and with a determined puff of breath, he begins working on Langa's automail.
Langa couldn’t tell how much time was passing and found it even harder to follow everything that Reki was doing. He was turning Langa’s automail in every which way, inspecting every screw and joint so intently, it made Langa feel almost uncomfortable. Not even Cherry goes into depth like this anymore, Langa couldn’t help but shift a little strangely in his chair, folding into himself a little. He hasn’t felt this vulnerable since his automail was first attached. Not that it was a bad thing, necessarily, just... different. With Cherry, it was quiet, quick, and straight to the point. But with Reki... Reki was getting to know every inch of his automail, and the thought made Langa squirm again.
“Sorry, dude, we’re almost done! There’s a couple screws I want to switch out in your ankle, and your joints need a little oil, but that’s about it, I think!” Reki pats at Langa’s human knee reassuringly.
“O-oh okay, good, that’s good!” Reki’s hand was still resting on Langa’s knee and it felt like his skin was burning. “Will that take long?”
“Not at all, don’t you worry! I’m the fastest automail mechanic around!” Reki says proudly, standing up with his hands balled into fists on his hips and his chest puffed out. Cherry coughs loudly from the other side of the room. “Well, at least the fastest automail mechanic in this half of the room.” He says sheepishly.
Langa smothers a smile. Reki was kind of goofy, but it was endearing. Cherry was always so serious and quiet, only talking and asking questions as needed, not that Langa minded. He didn’t like to talk much these days and was content with just sitting still and silent for a while, but maybe Reki would-- maybe he could bring something thrilling back into Langa’s life. There was something hopeful stirring in his heart, and although a little uncomfortable still, he didn’t want to leave.
Reki quickly finishes up Langa’s check-up and does a quick once over to make sure he didn’t forget anything before putting away the tools.
“You’re looking fresh!” Reki shouts as he spins around to shoot Langa a thumbs up. “You getting used to the weight and everything? I meant to ask earlier, I know how weird and heavy it can feel at first. I can’t imagine having to learn to use two automail limbs at once.” Reki chuckles, something a little strained in his voice, and rubbing at his own automail arm.
“Oh yeah, it’s not so bad. Some days are a little harder than others, and I, well... I can’t say that I’m completely used to it, yet, but what can you do, y’know?” Langa says resigned. What could he do?
“Hah, I know what you mean. But hey! We have our own built in weights to lift, right?” Reki smiles softly, looking down at the floor. After a long pause, he takes a deep breath, and looks up directly into Langa’s eyes before quickly shifting his gaze. “Well, we’re all finished up here! You’re free to go, my man, we’ll see you next week, alright?”
Langa nods. “Right... ‘til next week, then.” It comes out a little more pouty than intended, but he holds a stoic expression and waves awkwardly at Cherry. Cherry does not wave back.
Langa walks out of the shop, pushing the door shut behind him. Reki had looked so sad when talking about his automail, and he wonders if maybe Reki understood what he was going through. He hoped he didn’t, but also hoped he did at the same time? It was definitely selfish, but if there was one person out there that could get Langa, well… he would be selfish, then.
He wonders if Reki will be there next week, or if it will just go back to being Cherry as the one working on his automail.
“we’ll see you next week”
He said “we”, so that must mean Reki will be there, right?
Right. He answers his own question,
and is so lost in thought, he almost forgets about Joe’s food offer. Langa was already hungry again, and with the smell of food quickly filling the air, he couldn’t resist the temptation and makes a bee-line to Joe’s food stall before heading home.
Langa arrived home a little bit after noon, putting leftovers into the fridge for his mom. He was almost to his room when his mom popped her head out of her bedroom.
“Welcome home, baby. How did everything go?”
“Fine.” Langa kept walking, he felt itchy and didn't really want to to talk.
“Reki do a good job? Did you stop by Joe’s after?” Gross. Langa didn’t like the way his mom said Joe’s name. It was almost too inquisitive.
“Yes, and yes. There’s food in the fridge for you.” Langa’s door was almost shut,
“Okay, make sure you change clothes before laying in bed all day. You smell a little sweaty.”
Langa groans. “Okaaaay.”
Finally, alone in his room, he sniffs at his shirt. He did smell a little. It was hot outside, but Okinawa always felt hot to him. Langa worried Reki might have noticed how sweaty he was, but maybe Reki was sweaty, too, so it didn’t matter, and--
Oh.
Reki.
Langa didn’t want to wait until next week to see him again. He felt something burning in his chest, something different from the usual emptiness that had made a seemingly permanent home there after his dad died...
He pushes the thought of his dad to the back of his mind. He didn't want to feel sad, not right now.
It’s been forever since he’s felt so antsy and he attempts to fill his afternoon with whatever will easily pass the time, not realizing how hard it is hard when you’re not dissociating through every part of the day. He felt so aware of every hour, minute, second. It would have been totally agonizing if it weren't for the thought of Reki.
Reki was a spark that he couldn't smother, didn’t want to smother. He needed to find a way to see Reki sooner. He wanted-- no, he needed more. He couldn't wait.
The sky outside was growing dimmer while Langa skimmed through a magazine, and a thought occurs.
He sits up against his pillows, setting his magazine down at his side. Then, hesitantly, he pulls his automail knee to his chest and feels around at his ankle. Reki had said he was going to switch out a couple screws there, and maybe if he just…
He twists at one of the screws for a moment, but it doesn’t budge.
Hm. Langa digs around determinedly through his room until he finds a screwdriver. It was small, it had come included in a little baggy of screws with the desk he had bought and built when he moved here, but he thinks it’ll do the trick.
Langa twists at it with the screwdriver until he feels it start to come undone, then uses his fingers until it's almost completely loose and leaves it just hanging on by a thread.
Satisfied with himself, and maybe feeling a little bad, he stretches his legs back out, smiling to himself. When he gets up in the morning, the screw will fall out and he’ll have to call the shop, Reki will have to fix it, and Langa’ll get to see Reki again.
Langa yawns, his eyes feeling heavy, With fire in his chest, he falls into a deep sleep.
A bright, beaming light.
Langa squints his eyes open and breathes in slowly for a few moments before stretching his arms above his head. He looks down at his own body, and then around his room. He heard birds chirping outside and could see dust floating around in the beams of light that were aimed across his room.
His head felt so clear, and that's when he realized.
No nightmare.
It had to be at least 10am. He felt so rested and light. Langa had been having nightmares quite literally every night since that day, but now…
Langa turned his head towards his door, he could hear singing from the kitchen. It was his mom. She had comforted him every morning for the last year, wiping the sweat from his face, running gentle fingers through his hair. But now, she was singing, and she sounded happy. Langa had never considered how she woke up everyday, always on edge, taking care of him. The thought saddens him a little, but the feeling is fleeting.
He swings his legs over the side of the bed and,
Clink.
Langa furrows his eyebrows, a small crease forming in the middle. The memories of yesterday and last night start to surge up to the front of his brain again and,
Oh.
Shit.
Langa feels a little ashamed in the light of the day now. He had purposely sabotaged his own automail to manipulate Reki into seeing him. Reki was so nice and helpful and spent all that time tuning up Langa’s automail and this is what he does?
Langa stands up to look for the screw so he can put it back in, but the moment his weight is bearing down onto his foot, his ankle crumbles beneath him and he collapses with a loud THUD.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fu--
His mom’s singing stops abruptly. “Langa?! Is everything okay?” She peeks her head in, eyes widening, then running to Langa's side. “Baby, what happened?!”
“Ah, uh, I think something is wrong with my automail. I- Uh, maybe my ankle? I’m-- I'm not too sure.” He sputters. “Maybe a screw or something came loose? Yeah.”
“I’ll call the shop! Maybe Cherry should be a little more attentive when it comes to letting that boy work on people’s automail, I can’t believe th--”
“No, no, don't blame Reki. It’s not his fault, I was probably moving around too much and distracted him and I-- I just, it’s okay.” Langa interrupts. He doesn’t want his mom to speak badly of Reki to Cherry because then Cherry may not let Reki help anymore.
“Well... okay.” She helps him back up onto his bed before calling the shop. “Just hang tight, okay?”
“Sure, mom. Thanks.” He lays his head back onto his pillow as his mom leaves the room.
Shit.
Why would he do this? Langa wanted so badly to see Reki, but now Reki was going to think it was his fault and that he something wrong. He feels stupid and so ashamed, covering his eyes with his arm to try and hide away the embarrassment.
He lays like this for what seems like a while, and almost falls back asleep when he hears his mom open the front door and his heart knocks hard against his chest.
Calm down.
Langa hears Reki apologizing profusely to his mom as they walk down the hallway to Langa’s bedroom. “Mrs. Hasegawa, I’m so freakin’ sorry. I should’ve checked more thoroughly before he left, I shouldn’t have--”
And they barging into Langa’s bedroom. His very messy bedroom, embarrassing Langa even further. Reki was in Langa's room. He would have groaned if no one could hear him.
“Langa, dude, I’m so sorry! This is all totally my fault, I could’ve sworn I tightened those screws as tight as they would go, gah, I’m such an idiot!” He drops his tool box hard onto the floor, and falls to his knees, bowing apologetically towards Langa, and then to Langa’s mom.
“Ah-! No, please don’t do that! It’s fine, don’t be too... Don't be too hard on yourself.” Langa forces himself to say. Don't blame yourself at all, it wasn’t even your fault.
“No, I have to make it up to you! Your next visit will be free! Yeah, that should make things right, right?” He says uncertainly. “Uh, but don’t tell Cherry. He’s already mad at me for this.”
“Reki. You don’t have to do that. I- I swear it's fine, I just wanna be able to stand up.” Langa tries to smile reassuringly, but he can tell Reki doesn’t buy it.
Langa’s mom puts her hand in between them, interrupting, “Langa, don’t turn down a free visit. You know we could use it. I’ll let you get to work, Reki.” She says a little harshly while walking back out of the room.
Langa didn't realize he was covering his face again. He was certain it was the color of Reki's hair at this point, as this was all just too embarrassing. He just wanted to go back in time and unthink his very annoying, intrusive thoughts, but now it was too late, and here Reki was, kneeling beside his bed.
“Man, I’m sorry. I should have paid more attention when I was doing this, and now you can’t walk.” Reki sounded so upset with himself. He was excited yesterday to be able to work on a real client for once and now Langa has ruined his confidence. “But don’t worry, I’ll fix ya up in no time and get out of your hair. I’ll make sure it's tight this time, too.” He tries to say enthusiastically, but the words seemed too stiff.
“I, uh, thanks,” is all Langa can manage. God.
“Did you happen to see where the screw went, or… y’know what? Don’t worry about it! I have plenty in my tool box. I’ll just use a new one.” Reki digs around in the tool box for several seconds before popping back up with a shiny, new screw. “Aha! There we go.” Then he rummages around once more to find a screwdriver. He goes to pull Langa’s ankle towards him, then stops abruptly. “Oh, uh- may I?”
Langa swallows, then nods slowly, and Reki continues forward, tugging the automail towards him.
Langa studies Reki’s face absentmindedly. He notices that Reki has freckles scattered across his face, and there's a tiny crease that forms between his eyebrows when he’s concentrating on Langa's ankle. He had a headband wrapped tightly around his forehead, but despite that, his hair was still falling loosely into his face, defeating the purpose of the headband. There was even a piece tucked under the headband for some reason.
He smiles at the irony.
Reki was so disheveled and rough around the edges, but he was kind of pretty, Langa admits to himself. Pretty in a real, raw kind of way. Pretty in the way that a tree was pretty; full of blemishes from birds looking for food, lightning strikes, or scars from missing branches.
Hah. Langa was like a tree then, too, in that sense.
“All done!” Reki says in a sing-songy voice, and Langa blinks his eyes, coming back to reality.
“Oh, that was really quick.” Langa shifts in his bed to swing his legs over the edge.
Reki stands up and holds out his hand. “Here, let me help you, just in-case. I don’t want you to fall again.”
Langa sits there for a second staring blankly at Reki’s hand, contemplating on whether to hold on to it using his human hand or his automail hand. He eventually settles on using his automail because he doesn’t think he could handle much more excitement right now.
He reaches out and squeezes Reki’s hand, maybe a little too hard because he notices Reki wince a little. “Ah, sorry.”
Reki shakes his head, looking down at their hands. “Nah, s’cool, man.”
Langa swallows, then pulls himself to his feet, gripping Reki’s hand. He shifts his weight back and forth between both feet to make sure he feels steady enough.
“Everything feel good? Nothing loose or shaky?” Reki asks.
“Yeah, no, it feels... good. I shouldn’t have any more problems.” Langa glances at Reki’s face. Reki had already been looking at him and they briefly made eye contact before both of them darted their eyes away, looking down at Langa’s ankle, neither of them realizing their hands were still clasped together.
“Good, I’m so glad, and again, I’m super freakin’ sorry. I promise to be more careful from here on out. No more falling out of bed!” Reki laughs nervously.
“I-I didn’t fall out of bed, I fell after standing up.” Langa drops his hand down, dragging Reki’s with it. “Oh, shit- I didn’t realize I was still--” He pulls his hand away quickly, and crosses his arms onto his chest.
Reki laughs again, so warmly this time. “No worries! Just glad we got you back on your feet.” He sees Reki wipe his hand onto his pants. Maybe Reki felt uncomfortable with Langa holding onto him like that. “I should probably get back to the shop. Like I said, Cherry is already mad at me, so I shouldn’t push my luck.” He rubs his hand at the back of his head.
Langa nods, then decides to say, “You could tell him it was my fault. Sometimes I get fidgety and mess with things I probably shouldn’t. It’s- It's a nervous habit. He can’t be mad at you for something you had nothing to do with.” It was kind of the truth, anyway. That way he didn’t feel as guilty.
“Ah, nah, I don’t wanna--” Reki pauses. “Well, would you mind? I really like getting to work on automail and it would suck so much if Cherry didn’t let me anymore just because of this one little thing, and I wouldn’t get the chance to get better, and I wouldn’t get to see you anymore and…” Reki continues to babble on, but Langa’s brain malfunctioned.
“wouldn’t get to see you”
Reki liked seeing Langa. He liked working on Langa’s auntomail, and maybe he did actually like holding on to Langa's hand...
Langa’s heart was pounding in his chest, and his face was definitely flushing. He hoped Reki didn’t notice,
And right on cue, Reki stops talking and says, “Hey man, you good? You’re looking a little red. Maybe you should take it easy for the rest of the day, okay?”
Langa nods more quickly that necessary, unable to form any words.
“Well, I’m gonna get going. I’ll see you next week! Forreal this time.” He laughs and pats Langa on the back once before bending over to put his tools up, then picking up the box and starting towards the door. “Bye, Langa!”
“Reki, wait, I--” He stutters. He wants to see if Reki would maybe wanna go eat with him at Joe’s after his next check-up.
“Yeah?” Reki turns his head back, one hand already placed on the door pulling it open.
“Oh, uh, it's nothing. See you next week!” Langa chickens out. He decides it's enough to just see him at the shop, and who knows, maybe he’ll have the courage to ask when he’s there, anyway.
“Alright, man, see ya!” And Reki is gone, down the hallway, and Langa hears the front door close shut.
He falls backwards into his bed, legs stretched out, feet on the floor still. He rubs wildly at his face to scrub the redness away. Reki made him feel so unstable, but in a good way. He didn’t think any feeling at all would ever return, but in just two days, Reki had done this to him.
He groans, and can’t help but feel guilty. Does this mean he was going to forget about his dad? And forget what had happened? How could he just move on? It doesn’t seem fair, doesn’t seem right. But there was no turning back now, he thinks. Reki had set something in motion that no force in the universe could stop, and Langa could feel the tiny light at the center of his body flicker ever so brighter.