Chapter Text
If this wasn’t the twins’ birthday, Sakusa would have left hours ago. But, after all, it seemed that, despite all of their bantering, he did appreciate Miya Atsumu enough to endure one entire night listening to you and Bokuto flirt endlessly.
It had been pretty awful, though, and he couldn’t wait to get home and begin to forget all about it. It was just a matter of time you and Bokuto started dating. That was, if Bokuto hadn’t asked you out already. He'd seemed hesitant enough around Sakusa to imagine how he would proceed when he wasn't around.
All things considered, when Sakusa stood up to leave, he didn’t think anybody would try to stop him. Knowing him, everybody in the party was aware of the fact that Sakusa would rather die than spend one single night in a stinky tent with two to three sweaty, hangover guys. Nope. Sakusa didn’t expect that you, of all people, would have anything to say about it. And you asking him to drive you home put Sakusa in an even more unexpected situation after Bokuto joined in.
“We have beds upstairs!” Bokuto kept offering, his words slurred. The alcohol had surely turned off the usually-not-that-effective filter in his brain, and he was being less than subtle in hiding his feelings for you. Again. “You can sleep in mine, I’ll sleep on the sofa, I don’t mind! Please, Omi-kun! It’s Tsum-Tsum’s birthday!”
The desperation in his eyes was evident. But it was kind of understandable, too, for a change.
After all, you and your friends had spent a good chunk of the afternoon setting up a tent in the garden, and at no point had there been any indication that you wouldn’t be staying. Bokuto had probably assumed he still had many more hours ahead of him in your company, just like Sakusa had assumed the biggest jump in the relationship between you and Bokuto would happen overnight, through interactions he didn't feel like naming. No one would have been able to predict such an abrupt ending to Bokuto's bliss.
Now it kind of felt like he was practically ripping you from Bokuto's arms, even though leaving together had been your idea. And so what? It sucked for him, but it wasn't Sakusa's fault if Bokuto hadn't been able to woo you in time. Sakusa had no intention to change his plans for anybody. He had planned to leave at this hour, and at this hour he was leaving.
“Bokuto-san…” Sakusa sighed. “I said no.”
"Then just stay a little longer!” Bokuto insisted. “C’mon, just one more hour! It’s still so early!"
“I don’t feel like risking falling asleep while I drive.”
“Oh, please, Omi-kun! I'll make you coffee!”
"I'm on my third cup already."
What was the big deal? Bokuto had been able to apologize to you, and you had both ended the karaoke incident on a good note. Sure, he hadn’t managed to “get laid”, like Atsumu had said, but he’d spent a big chunk of the night talking to you. Were Sakusa in his shoes, he wouldn’t have considered it a bad night at all. Bokuto could be really dramatic sometimes.
Sakusa tried not to think too much about it as he helped you put your things in the trunk of his car. Bokuto watched all of it from the front porch, looking absolutely devastated, and he waved you two a sad goodbye as you got inside of the car.
“Bokuto-san was really insistent on making you stay.” Sakusa mentioned, as he closed the car door and started the engine. He meant that to be a joke, although he wasn’t sure his words conveyed much humor. "You might end up breaking his heart at this rate."
A deep flush creeped up your cheeks, and you hid your face behind your hands. You let out a little embarrassed laugh.
“Oh, please, I’m going to kill him.” You said, endearment evident in your voice, much despite your words.
The sound of it made Sakusa’s insides turn upside down. Ah, it served him right for making fun of Bokuto. Maybe he’d be the one who would end up heartbroken.
After all, Bokuto always recovered. He was a really energetic guy who never knew when to give up. He wouldn’t let something like this deter him. Besides, you would be back the next day for more flirting and more water games and... Ah, yes. Sakusa had almost forgotten about that. Perhaps he could successfully fake an illness for the second day and just stay home…
The trip back to Osaka was pleasant with you by Sakusa’s side. Not only did he enjoy your company, but it also helped him stay awake more easily. Forty-five minutes went by a lot faster than he expected as you chatted about work, volleyball, music, and TV, and you slowly sobered up until you started to feel sleepy, but you continued talking, stifling your yawning every now and then.
Sooner than Sakusa thought, you were entering the city.
Even in the dead of the night, Osaka was still busy and bright with lights and neon signs. It reminded Sakusa of your train commutes together. A comfortable sense of familiarity, something akin to warmth, settled inside of him, and he found himself imagining what it would be like to drive with you asleep on the passenger seat.
Sakusa shook his head. What a dangerous thought to have. A stupid, mushy thought, and entirely uncharacteristic of him. If he didn’t put a stop to all these crazy daydreams he’d been having as of late, he would end up regretting it.
He had to endure it.
“By the way, I can drive you back to the house tomorrow if you want.” Sakusa offered.
Yeah, that was better.
“Oh, that would be so great." You replied, and he could hear the smile in your voice even when he hadn’t moved his eyes from the road. "Thank you!”
When you finally arrived, Sakusa parked his car on an empty spot near your house, and stepped out to retrieve your stuff from the trunk. You exited the car slowly after him, stretching your numb limbs.
"How come you took so much stuff with you if you weren't staying the night?" He frowned, picking up a quite heavy bag.
You rubbed the back of your head, chuckling.
"Well, I was going to stay, but then I changed my mind at the very last minute…” You explained. “By the way, Omi-kun…”
He turned his head to look at you, and there was something different in your eyes that he couldn’t pinpoint. Endure it , he thought. He deliberately ignored the jump he felt in his chest.
“Do you wanna go upstairs and have one last drink at my place?" you said.
“Uh, what?” He asked. “At your place?”
You pouted.
“I had so much fun tonight, but I wished I could’ve talked to you a little more.” You explained.
Ouch. There was absolutely no way he could say ‘no’ to you when you were making those puppy eyes at him. Not that he wanted to, in the first place. You had been sticking to Bokuto for most of the night, so the fact that you wanted to spend some more time just with Sakusa made his chest fill up with a totally unnecessary feeling of happiness that he quickly pushed away.
“Uh, sure. Why not?” He said. “It sounds fun.”
“Yay!” You cheered and did a little happy dance at his reply. You were suddenly looking pretty wide awake. “C’mon, let’s go!”
Sakusa locked the car, and followed you inside your building, telling his brain to shut the fuck up the whole time.
What would Bokuto think, Sakusa thought, if he knew Sakusa was going up the stairs to your apartment in the dead of the night? He'd die with jealousy, and then he'd probably come back to life immediately after just to murder Sakusa, and righteously so.
Nothing would happen, though. You were just going to offer him a drink, you would have a chat, and then he would go home and that would be the end of it. It would be immensely disappointing, and it'd leave Sakusa wanting to smash his head against a wall. Ah... It was almost like he could see the future.
“Is there anybody home?” Sakusa asked, feeling absolutely guilty for no reason about doing so.
“Nope.” You answered, as you unlocked the door. “My roommates have gone out, too. We have the entire house to ourselves for at least a couple of hours.”
Fuck. That answer made Sakusa even more nervous than a simple yes or no, for some reason.
You closed the door behind you and took your shoes off. Sakusa followed your example as he looked around the house that he was visiting for the first time.
“Make yourself comfortable!” You said, pointing at the couch in the living room. “I’ll get something to drink.”
“I’ll just have coffee or soda.” Sakusa said quickly, as you disappeared into the kitchen. “I can’t have any alcohol. I still have to drive home.”
“Sure!”
Sakusa took a seat on your sofa. Watching all the stuff laying around your living room helped him keep any unwanted thoughts away from his mind. Family pictures, travel souvenirs, a teddy bear, your Blu-ray collection... Some things brought memories of past conversations with you. Others were brand new information. He could see tidbits of your personality in them, like a fun guessing game and, for the first time, he felt like he was really getting to know you.
You didn't take long to come back from the kitchen with the drinks, which you placed on the little coffee table in front of the couch: some sort of alcoholic beverage for you, and a soda for Sakusa, just like he’d asked.
Then you sat down, and you didn’t do it facing forward. You did it facing Sakusa, with one knee bent under yourself, and the other foot on the couch. A strange way to sit. Sakusa tried to force his body into relaxation.
The conversation flowed naturally between the two of you as you continued where you’d previously left off, the only difference being… Well… Sakusa felt he was going crazy.
You were laughing a lot, for starters. More than usual. This was, at least partially, due to whatever was in that drink you were having, no doubt, and also the fact that you were probably exhausted after such a long day. But, besides that, what had Sakusa’s uneasiness growing was the fact that, sometimes, when you laughed, you would playfully hit Sakusa’s shoulder. Or his knee. Sometimes even his thigh . And you were never this touchy normally. In the train, whenever you two were sitting together, you never touched him like this. If Bokuto saw this, he would behead him.
Sakusa tried to play it cool, though, as if it didn’t make his breath get caught in his throat every time. He wasn’t very pleased to discover how utterly and absolutely pathetic he really was. All because a girl was touching his leg.
But there was something else on the list of pathetic things Sakusa did that night. Next, he almost spilled his soda all over him when your hand found its way to his curls and started playing with them. Because there was no snow, no nothing to shake off his head now like that one time. Only his black curly hair, and your fingers sinking in it, and your heavy gaze on his. And Sakusa's heartbeat was going fucking fast in his chest. Were you drunk? You had to be. You kinda seemed like it.
“Ahh, haha, Omi-kun! If you drop that on my couch I’ll make you pay for the cleaning service…!”
Your laughter almost sounded like a moan in Sakusa’s ears. Fuck. Your face was so close to his. Your eyes, your lips were so close to his. He really was going nuts this time. If he didn’t get his shit together right now...
"Why are you looking at me like that?" You asked him.
You batted your eyelashes at him, and he would’ve liked to think you did it innocently, but the expression on your face didn’t really fit the mental image Sakusa was trying to conjure. The smile on your lips looked mischievous, like you knew exactly what you were doing to him, and to which extent. But there was no way you were doing this on purpose, was it?
"Like what?" Sakusa asked back.
“Like that! You’re thinking something, aren’t you? What are you thinking?” You smiled.
You bit your lip. That much he didn’t imagine. He was sure. He saw. Then you briefly moved away from him to take your glass from the coffee table, take a sip, and put it back. When you straightened yourself back up again, Sakusa would have sworn you were even closer to him than before.
“I’m thinking you’re drunker than you let on,” Sakusa croaked.
You giggled, and put your hand back on his hair, then let it slide down the back of his neck. Your fingertips were cold from holding the iced drink. Sakusa felt a shiver down his spine.
“And what about it?” You said.
Your fingers brushed the rim of his ear, then slid down to his jaw. Your touch was soft. Sakusa almost felt his skin go numb. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be happening. The words wouldn’t come out. He was completely frozen.
“Does this bother you?” You insisted, touching Sakusa's face. Your thumb lightly brushed his bottom lip. “Omi-kun?”
He could only shake his head and watch your smile grow wider as he did. You leaned forward. Sakusa held his breath.
The brush of your lips against his was light as a feather. It lasted less than a fraction of a second. It barely felt real, but you smiled, and he knew he hadn’t imagined it. His heartbeat was deafening in his ears. Nothing made sense.
He was breathless when he managed to speak again, his voice barely a whisper:
“W-what are you doing?” He looked into your eyes, in search of an explanation.
“What do you think I’m doing, you dummy?” Your smile was the sweetest thing he'd ever seen. “I’m kissing you.”
“Ah.” Sakusa nodded, dumbly, as if that clarified anything.
His reaction made you laugh again.
“Is there something wrong with it?” You murmured into his mouth.
Your hand was still on his neck. Sakusa was so dizzy he could barely find the words to answer, though. He just wanted more.
“Not at all," he finally managed to say. "As long as you want it.”
“Of course I want it.” You smiled.
Leaning into him once again, there was no need for any more words as you pressed another gentle kiss onto his lips. You kissed him longer this time, a little harder, taking your sweet time in pushing his lips open with yours; sinking your hands further into his hair; pressing your body softly against him. It still took a couple of seconds for Sakusa to realize it wasn’t happening only in his imagination.
Oh, what the hell. How could this be real? Didn't you like Bokuto? Since when did you feel this way? Hadn't it all been his imagination, the look on your face from some days ago under the snow?
Sakusa's heart was so fucking loud in his chest he was almost sure you could hear it too. His fingers had grown numb. Your lips were soft and warm, they distracted him from his circular thinking. You pressed Sakusa further into the couch.
A small part of him still doubted you were sober enough to know what you were doing. What if you thought you were kissing Bokuto right now? Was that even possible? You wouldn't do that, now, would you? Bokuto had been there when you'd asked Sakusa to drive you home. You could've chosen to stay, and yet you'd chosen to leave with Sakusa. And, right now, you were very clearly enjoying yourself as you kissed him dumb.
A pleasurable feeling was threatening to spread all over Sakusa’s body. He whined into your mouth. If only he could stop overthinking and just enjoy it… If he could just stop fighting his own stupid brain and lean into the kiss, surrender to it, to you, instead...
He had to try. He wanted to try. He wasn't used to losing control over his own body like this. He had to make a conscious effort not to freak out, telling himself to remain calm, and it felt a lot like taking a leap of faith. Except that, along with the adrenaline rush, as Sakusa gave in to the kiss he also felt every single muscle in his body relax, and it was like something in his brain melted.
He closed his eyes. His breathing slowed down, his lungs filling with a vivid breath of fresh air. God, it felt good. It felt good to allow himself to be kissed. There were white stars and swirls of color exploding like fireworks behind his closed eyelids. A tickling sensation on the back of his neck quickly spread down his spine. The gentle warmth of your skin turned into heat in his hands, and he soon found out, as he attempted to return the kiss, that he wasn’t entirely too sure of what to do, where to touch you. He had never really got the hang of kissing nor did he have much experience in the first place.
He felt himself stiffen again when you pushed your tongue into his mouth, the feeling nothing short of bizarre. The taste of alcohol was foreing to his senses, but he consciously forced his body and his mouth into relaxing again. He wanted to get used to it, to enjoy it like you were enjoying it. He focused on the feeling of your hands on his arms, feeling up his muscles, and he realized his own hands were merely resting against your back. He could put them to use too, he thought. He dragged them slowly along your waist, and pulled you a little closer to him. You melted into his body with a small, delighted noise, and you kissed him even harder then, his name coming out of your lips in a rash whisper.
“Omi-kun…” You moaned, and Sakusa felt the blood in his veins turn into fire. You were looking directly into his dark eyes. “You can touch me however you like.”
His name. You had just looked at him and said his name. Not Bokuto's. Sakusa still wasn't completely sure this wasn't all a dream.
You were on top of him before he realized how, much less why . And, if you noticed any of his self-constraint, or his weird behaviour, you didn’t pay it any mind. You pressed yourself against him, pushing him into the couch, making him feel hot all over, way too hot in the places where your body touched his. Then you straddled him, one leg on each side of his hips, the hard bulge in his jeans pressing against your thin panties. Sakusa’s head started to spin, like he was about to pass out.
God. Fuck. This is what Heaven must be like , Sakusa thought, as your lips left red lipstick marks all along his neck, your fingers pulling on his dark curls, making a complete mess out of him. This is Heaven , again, and when you moaned "Kiyoomi...!" into his ear, it felt like a needle pierced through his heart.
The realization hit him with the same force it always did. He was so blind...
Perhaps he liked you a lot more than he'd thought.
Perhaps you liked him too.