Chapter Text
As soon as Teh exited his classroom, he saw his childhood friend walking with four guys in the hallway and Teh stared, not used to the sight of Oh-aew being in the same building anymore. His eyes almost disappeared with how much he was smiling as he chatted with them, giggling at the rowdiness of his companions.
It was a relief to see him happy after transferring, but there’s a voice in the back of his head that taunted, No, you wish he could’ve been this happy in Comm Arts.
With acting.
With you.
“Teh!” He blinked, snapping out of his thoughts, and saw Oh-aew standing in front of him.
“Hey. What are you doing in our faculty?”
“We had to interview a Comm Arts professor for our report.” Teh nodded and his eyes flicked to the guys beside Oh-aew. They waved at him. “Ah, these are my friends from Advertising. You already know Auu, my roommate. This is Q, Plug, and Maengpong.”
“Nice to meet you. I’m Teh.” After he regarded Oh-aew’s new friends, Teh went back to staring at him.
“Nice to meet you, too,” Q and Plug replied.
At the same time, Maengpong said, “We know.”
Teh raised an eyebrow at that but Oh-aew shooed his friends away to the direction of the escalator. “You guys go ahead, see you tomorrow.”
“I thought we were all—” Auu started to protest but Q cut him off by pinching his arm.
“Okay, see you Aew.”
Teh watched as they all took turns hugging Oh-aew and Q even pressed a light kiss on his cheek. It was all so casual and friendly—he wondered if he could be the same with his childhood friend if it didn't feel like Oh-aew's warmth scorched Teh's skin whenever they touched.
“You’ve told them about me?” he decided to ask Oh-aew as a way to distract himself.
“Of course I’ve mentioned you a few times.” In a smaller voice, he added, “You’re my closest friend.”
There was a dumb, wide grin on Teh’s face, but he couldn’t find the self-control to even conceal it. “Okay.”
They started walking together although neither of them had said a destination in mind and when they reached the bulletin boards on the first floor of the Comm Arts building, Oh-aew stopped and pointed at a poster.
“Is this your faculty play?”
“Mm. It’s going to be running for a few weeks before the semester ends,” Teh said. “I’ll be playing a minor role.”
Oh-aew bounced on the balls of his feet and tugged on his uniform sleeve. Cute. “Teh, that’s great!”
“I’m not the main protagonist, though. I auditioned for it but the director told me I’d fit another character better.”
“You’ll kill it anyway! I really can’t wait to see. I’ll definitely go to the first show.”
Months ago, when they were still both in Comm Arts, Teh imagined that they’d be in the faculty play with Oh-aew, maybe playing roles that would barely get to speak but being on the same stage anyway and bowing together at the curtain call. That fantasy was long gone but seeing Oh-aew so excited to watch him wasn’t so bad either.
“I’ll give you a ticket for it soon.”
“Make sure to eat though, even when you’re busy with rehearsals. You look… kind of dead.” Oh-aew reached out to poke him on the cheek briefly and Teh tried not to jump at his touch.
“You’ll have to keep reminding me that,” Teh said, thinking about how he didn’t eat breakfast in exchange for getting more sleep, spent his break times in the black box theater reading lines by himself, and rarely even ate dinner after rehearsals then passed out on his bed immediately.
“I will,” Oh-aew declared. “You made sure I wasn’t starving to death every day when we were freshmen, it’s my turn to do it for you now.”
“I was kidding!”
“I wasn’t. I’ll take care of you, whether you like it or not.”
Teh fixed his eyes on Oh-aew, who had his head held high, challenging him to put up a fight. There was a feeling in his chest that was suffocating and pounding, soaring and sinking all at the same time. He can’t—he wasn’t sure if he was ready to put it into words, but he knew what it was.
And it would have to be a secret so hidden that Oh-aew would never notice.
“Alright. Do what you want.”
Oh-aew smiled in triumph and pulled him by his wrist. “Let’s go eat outside.”
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Despite Teh’s rehearsals taking up his time and Oh-aew being busy in a different faculty, they saw each other almost every day, whether it was on campus or in the dorms.
Oh-aew would always drag him by the hand and take him to the cafeteria or restaurants outside campus, carrying out his promise to make sure Teh ate three meals a day. Sometimes, when he was in a really good mood, Oh-aew would pat his head as he ate, a pleased smile on his face.
He didn’t shy away from Oh-aew’s friendly touches—the last thing he wanted to do was make him think he wasn’t okay with it—but Teh never initiated anything on his own. He couldn’t dare, not when his touches carry a weight to them that Oh-aew should never know about.
At the dead of night, when Oh-aew had gone back to his own dorm room and Teh lay in bed, tired but wide awake, regrets came flooding his mind. Even after Oh-aew had talked it through with him and left the past behind, Teh found himself diving back into it.
If only I aplogized in high school.
If only I did something before he met Bas.
If only I never said those words.
The one-sided distance he had to keep between him and Oh-aew, the regrets that torture him at night—they were all his punishments, Teh thought. He was being punished for hurting Oh-aew when they were children and it was time he paid the price while his friend was unaffected and unaware.
Teh hugged his pillow to his body and curled in on himself—a poor substitute to the warmth he craved, the person he wanted.
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The moment the faculty play’s curtain call ended, the first thing on Teh’s mind wasn’t Did I do well? even though the play was something he prepared for for months and was a stepping stone towards his dream. He ran out to the empty audience seats and looked for his childhood friend, dodging anyone else that wanted to talk to him with an apologetic smile.
Oh-aew waved from where he was sitting and Teh almost tripped on the stairs in his rush to get to him. “Oh!”
“Teh,” Oh-aew called out as he pulled him into a hug. “Congratulations on your first show.”
If Teh could keep him in his arms as they talked, he wouldn’t even think of letting go, but he felt the sticky red corn syrup on his temple starting to stick to Oh-aew’s cheek. “Ah, I might get fake blood on you.”
Oh-aew drew back and placed an arm on his shoulder instead as his eyes scanned Teh in his black suit, smirking. Teh tried not to squirm under his gaze. “What? Do I look too handsome in this?”
“No, I was thinking how playing a bratty rich kid unexpectedly suits you. And your character died in the end but you’re good at dying; the people beside me had to take out tissues to wipe their tears.”
“Is that a compliment or an insult?”
“You did really well, Teh. I’m serious. And here.” A bouquet of sunflowers and yellow roses was thrusted into Teh’s hands. “I’ll help you put it in a vase later at the dorm so it won’t wilt too fast.”
“I…” His throat was closing in on itself and his eyes were starting to sting as he stared at the note with the flowers: To many more roles to come. I’ll be looking forward to each of them.
Oh-aew was just too good to him, his friendship unconditional and forgiving—Teh wanted to return the favor as long as he lived, to endlessly support him as much as he had cheered him on to achieve his dream. And Teh would do anything to keep things this way between them, even if he had to lock his feelings up in a box and bury it. “Thank you, Oh.”
“Teh! Get changed and hand your costume over already,” they heard someone shout from behind. Teh turned to Oh-aew with a slight pout, not wanting to go.
“Wait, one last thing,” his childhood friend said. “Let’s go back to Phuket together for summer break.”
Teh was surprised at the invitation but he barely spared it any thought, his head was already nodding quickly. “Yeah—yeah sure. Drop by our house when we get there; my mom would be so happy to see you again.”
“I miss her, too. Your cooking is great but Ma Sui’s is the best.”
“Hey! I can’t believe you’d betray me like this after all the meals I cooked for you.” They laughed at Teh’s exaggerated gasp, and when Oh-aew’s giggles had died down, he went on, “Ko Hoon is picking me up by bus. I’ll let him know you’ll be with me.”
“Okay, great.”
“Okay.”
Teh stood still, refusing to move until Oh-aew sighed fondly and started pushing him towards the backstage.
“Go on, do what you need to do. I’ll see you back at the dorms,” he told Teh and waved him goodbye as he walked away. Oh-aew looked back before he completely exited the theater and waved again.
When he was out of sight, Teh brought the flowers close to his nose and buried his face in their scent, smiling like a fool.
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“Oh-aew, hey. How long has it been?” Teh’s older brother patted his childhood friend on the arm as he entered the bus and paid him respect. It was a sight that made Teh want to laugh and cry at the same time.
“Way too long. It’s good to see you, Ko Hoon.”
“The last time you were in our house, you were still half my height.”
“I think I’m taller than you now,” Oh-aew teased, using his hand to draw a line between their heads.
Hoon scoffed in light offense, then he turned his attention to Teh, messing his hair up roughly. “And you. Would it kill you to call me from time to time, you brat?”
“I’m an actor now, Ko. I’m too busy and in demand.”
“You did one play and you’re running your mouth already, unbelievable,” Hoon tutted. Teh just grinned at him, knowing it was his brother’s way of showing his love. “Go, take your seats.”
Teh let Oh-aew take the window seat as he put their bags in the overhead compartment.
“You know…” Oh-aew began as Teh sat beside him. “I was wondering if the beach we often went to is still open. I sometimes went there during high school but maybe things have changed in two years.”
The new information caught Teh off guard. He had always hoped to accidentally stumble into Oh-aew on the beach, and while it never happened, it turned out that their favorite place as children still connected them even when they were apart.
“We can check it out together.” He hurried to add, “Call Moraoyulok and Bas, too.”
Oh-aew smiled at the proposition, his eyes lighting up as he thought up an idea. “That’d be fun! We can have a picnic after we swim and go on a food trip around town.”
“Then we’ll sleep over at your resort.” Teh watched with affection as Oh-aew squealed in excitement.
“Yeah! I’ll text my mom. I’ll ask her for permission as early as now.”
As the bus came to a start, Oh-aew tapped him on the shoulder and offered him an earbud. Teh wore it, chuckling softly as he heard the familiar beats of their childhood show’s soundtrack.
Teh closed his eyes. The song brought back memories.
He thought of their fight, which now seemed a distant memory because they’ve properly talked about it and the cause of it was already irrelevant. They’ve diverged into different paths, Teh has had his time to accept that.
He thought about the last time he was in Phuket and had wondered if he would get a chance to talk to Oh-aew again once they were in the same faculty. He never expected that their friendship could be restored and that they could be even closer than they were seven years ago. And Teh surely didn’t foresee that he would fall in love with Oh-aew—that he would want to hold his hand as they walked around campus, to kiss his pouts whenever he read research papers, to be the one he would seek out first when he felt sad.
But right now, they were sharing earphones, Oh-aew’s head was resting on his shoulder as his eyes started to droop, and Phuket awaits them both with open arms.
It’s more than Teh could ever ask for.