Chapter Text
Lunch was hell.
Just hell…
It was calm when the trays rolled in. Some basic sandwiches and soups for the two women.
Meredith could see the moment Addison’s light left her eyes as she looked at the plated food in front of her.
The environment shifted at that moment
Addison. Addison Montgomery was gone.
It hurts from Meredith's point of view as the redhead lifted a slice of the sandwich in front of face and the color washed out. You would think she was at the altar getting cold feet last minute.
The bouncing and tapping of Addison’s leg and feet filled the air with more unease as she twirled her sandwich in her hand and stared intentionally at it as if her eyes would eat it instead.
“Addison?” Meredith caught her attention pulling her out of the mindset she was in watching as the redhead’s face seemed to calm down as it left a place of darkness and guilt.
“Are… are you ok?” Meredith asked, stuttering over her own voice. Addison shrugged and sunk her body into the lounging chair as she looked over at the food in front of her once again fidgeting with the drawstrings on her yale hoodie.
The silence between them was uncomfortable, filled with the thought of no process. Meredith finished her food looking over at the redhead who seemed to devour her food with her eyes.
“i'm sorry i can't.” Addison broke the silence repeating the sentence twice before she seemed to lose her fight.
“A bite? Can you just take a bite or look you have soup” Addison shook her head looking ahead at nothing in particular.
Meredith silently huffed to herself as she gathered the food between the two, thinking about the redhead deteriorating health.
“Meredith”
“Is it possible for her to get vitamins, maybe ensure?”
“She’s not eating?” She heard Richard huff out slowly in exhaustion.
“Nothing at all, not even a bite”
“Do you need the vitamins now?”
“Yes… this morning I woke to her sobbing, struggling to lift herself up.” Meredith heard Richard move stuff around and a jingle of a key.
“I’m on my way” the line clicked off
She heard a small clatter on the floor as she made herself back to the older woman.
“I’m hungry” Addison said, it was a step but she would allow an ounce in her body without it leaving back out.
“I know Addison, you can eat. Look, your soup is right there” Meredith said reassuring Addison.
Addison huffed looking away her eyes threatening to spill the tears welling up, her thoughts went 1000 miles per hour as Meredith watched her seem to become overwhelmed at herself.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” Meredith guided the redhead to the bed lying beside her as she watched Addison stare up at the ceiling.
After a few moments she heard a movement next to her.
“It hurts… it’s- it’s like the food engulfs me and my mind is telling me it’s my enemy…” Addison cut herself off pulling her knees to her chest in a childlike way before she took another breath.
“It numbs me… it helps me not feel. It’s addictive and the only thing pushing me is the feeling of numb” Meredith took in the words before running her hand through Addison’s hair and pulling her to lay on her chest.
“I just don’t want to feel anything”