Chapter Text
sike it wasnt the end....
akaashi picks himself off the ground after head-butting with three other insanely hot men when he notices the unimaginable.
there right in front of him was a golden opportunity, something he will never experience ever again. Something so wonderful and tear jerking that akaashi has to step back and think if this truly was a dream.
right in front of his half-conscious self was a fat, juicy, volomptious honka wonka tonka 3001 booty that was the size of every mans wet dream.
akaashi with no idea of what was taking over him, slowly moves forward and opens his mouth big and wide. CHOMP! he takes a big fat bite out of that glorious ass.
"OW WHAT THE FUCK" the owner of that trunka hunka yells out.
"hmm this tastes like cake" akaashi mumbles while chewing his piece in his mouth.
"WTF MY ASS IS MISSING?? MY ASS IS GONE!!" bokuto cries
"ayo is that any good?? I wanted a bite for so long but i wasnt sure if it was worth it or not" kuroo asks
"mmm" akaashi replies "i thot it wud be hard at first but once i took a bite, i knew that this was the one"
"wow,, thats deep bro" kenma replies, eyes glued to bokutos bubble butt
"YOU GUYS IM MORE THAN MY ASS YK??" bokuto whines in a high pitched voice
"yeah you got them nice thighs too" kuro replies
"and tits" kenma adds
"damn at least take me on a date first" bokuto exclaims
But then suddenly a loud crash was heard. The glass windows shattered and a tall brunette in a cyan shirt busted in.
"o shit i forgot we were in the mafia lol" kuroo giggles
"omg who do u think it is??" kenma wonders
Then the mysterious man closes the distance between them, flips his hair, and raises his head.... then proceeds to do 5 cartwheels, 3 backhand springs, and rolly-pollys into the wall.
"naw man thats just Tooru" bokuto sighs
"HOWD U KNOW IT WAS ME??" oikawa yelled "I DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING YET"
"only you would wear *THAT* shade of cyan" bokuto states as if its the most obvious thing in the world
"AND be that flamboyant" kuroo adds
"okay 1. fuck off 2. iwa-chan said i look sexy in cyan and 3. DID YALL TRY TO GO ON A DATE WITHOUT ME????? IN THIS ECONOMY??? HOW DARE THOUS??"
"hold awn" akaashi says, his voice growing angry "who tf is this mfer?? are one of yall cheating on us?!?"
In an angry fury, akaashi and kenma whip out two guns each, standing back to back as they direct their weapons at the other three.
"yall better start explaining REAL quick. who tf is in this relationship?? answer or i'll blow this entire building up, starting with the nerd in the cyan"
"kenma... baby... we talked about this.... you have to lay low on the arsonist tendencies love" akaashi chides over his shoulder.
"keiji.. i love you but shut the fuck up. idc i rly dont. this aint about me this is about WE.. the people of the gay gay homosexual gay mafia"
kuroo panics, trying to settle his infuriated boyfriends, "okay now what the fuck is going on-" BAM!!!!
Kenma, his beautiful, gorgeous, ethereal, childhood friend-to-lover fires a bullet that just grazes kuroos hair, causing a few pieces to fly off
Bokuto lets out a loud snort, laughing at the newly-made bald spot left behind on kuroos head. "I like ur cut g" he snickers as he smacks the back of his neck.
"dont get too comfy bo" akaashi spits "you might just be next"
BAM!!!!!!!!!!
akaashi fires the bullet, just intending to graze bokuto. unfortunately, with bokuakakuroken, nothing ever goes according to plan (rip). the bullet bounces off bokutos triple D boobies and ricochets all across the room, hitting everyone one by one. and they all died lol.
THE END