Chapter Text
Things between Gina and her friends were finally starting to get back to a good place— not the same place than they were before, but instead way closer than they had been before. She felt that she was able to talk to them in ways that she hadn’t been able to before. Them knowing and supporting her blog didn’t open up everything for her, but it opened up a whole lot.
Besides her friend circle, at home, Gina started to feel a lot closer to her mother. Things still weren’t perfect on that front, but she could tell her mother was trying to do better and be less hard on her, which meant a lot to her. Progress is progress no matter what, and if anyone were to appreciate that, it’d be Gina.
At school, the rumor of Gina quitting dance started to go around, after all, that was what she was known for around East High. She didn’t hear anything necessarily bad being said about her, but it was odd for her name to go around in whispers. It was almost like people didn’t know what to do, what to refer to her as, now that the one identider they attached her to, was gone. This would be the opportunity to create a new identifier, but that is not what she wanted to do. She was more than one thing, and sure that was always true, but now she felt she was able to understand that. She wasn’t Gina: the dancer, she was just herself.
On the chemistry front, things began to get a lot better. Thanks to Nini, her grades had improved tremendously.
“I don’t think you need my help anymore Gina. You’re doing most of this work on your own, even making your own chemistry jokes,” Nini said at one of their tutoring sessions.
“I still think I need your help, besides, I like working with you,” Gina responded.
“I think Nini might be right,” Gina’s mother walked into the room.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” her mother continued.
“That’s okay,” Gina and Nini said at the same time.
“Look, since I know you girls like working together, Nini can come over to tutor once a month. Money is just becoming tight and Gina’s been doing so well,” her mom explained.
“Don’t need to explain, Mom, I get it,” Gina had always been aware of their financial situation, so it was no surprise that tutoring would have to be cut down. A lot of times in Gina’s life, situations, people, and things would leave— she was used to it now and coming to a point of accepting it.
“I mean I can always come over outside of tutoring too, if that’s okay,” Nini questioned.
“More than okay,” Gina smiled.
Gina was pleased to know that Nini wanted to come over more on her own time. As peers, they had a lot of chemistry.
...
On the way to school the next day, Ashlyn’s face was very noticeably red which Gina knew was a tell she was going to burst with something she was waiting to say.
“So what do you want to say to me?” Gina asked Ashlyn.
“Is it that obvious?”
“The apple tree called and said it missed you.”
“Oh wow.”
“Say it, Ash.”
“Nini and I are going out this weekend!”
Gina squealed. It took both of them long enough.
“Finally! You both have been giving each other heart eyes for so long.”
“Well we haven’t quite said it’s a date yet, but I am just so excited.”
“I am happy for both of you.”
“Honestly it was all thanks to you Gina. Without you I wouldn’t have even had the courage to go up to Nini. You brought us closer too.”
“You don’t have to thank me Ashlyn. Seeing you happy, you both happy, makes me happy.”
“I am glad to have you, Gina.”
“I could say the same to you, Ash.”
...
At lunch that day, Ashlyn and Nini were sitting extremely close to each other, Gina wasn’t sure why Ashlyn hadn’t figured out that they were going on a date, but if it took the both of them that long to notice they liked each other, it didn’t surprise Gina that they were this oblivious now.
“Heard the news?” she noticed Ricky’s voice and him nudging her.
“If it’s the Ashlyn and Nini news, I did.”
“I knew those two would have to sort everything out at some point.”
“Well I’m happy they did. They look great together.”
There was another split second, similar to another moment they had before, where Ricky and Gina looked into each other’s eyes and seemed to acknowledge whatever feelings they had or had not voiced yet.
“Off topic, but I got a surprise for you,” Ricky said, breaking the moment they were having.
“What?”
“I said I have a surprise for you. Come to the park tonight to claim it.”
“I’ll be there?”
“I hope you will.”
...
Gina did not know what Ricky had in store for her at the park, nonetheless, she was excited. Whenever they were together, they had a lot of fun. Whether it was skating in some way shape or form, doing their own thing, or just talking, any time spent with Ricky was a good time. A time she treasured so dearly.
“So Miss. Porter, are you ready for your surprise?” she heard Ricky’s voice behind her.
“More than ready.”
He handed her an envelope with her name written on the front. As she was opening it, he was staring at her, almost like he was trying to gauge her reaction.
“Since you tried skating, multiple times, I thought I’d try doing what you do for a change.”
Gina looked back at him.
“I wrote you a letter.”
She opened the slip of paper inside the envelope and saw Ricky’s note on the inside. Star stickers were placed on the sides of the letter.
“I like the tiny stars on the side.”
“I knew you would.”
It always felt great to know that the people around her liked her blog, enough to remember and use the stuff she wrote on there. It made her feel like she was doing something: something good.
“I’ll let you read the whole letter in peace,” Ricky laughed before walking away.
Ricky’s Note to Gina:
Gi,
It’s crazy how time seems to fly when I’m with you, like the fireflies in the sky (I was trying to be like you on your blog, but clearly that didn’t work at all). Everything just becomes so simple when I’m around you, hell, even the words that come out of my mouth flow easier. I know it wasn’t always that way for us, but I am so grateful we were able to move past that. You’re a true light in my life Gina and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I hope we can skate again sometime, and maybe I’ll write to you more, or maybe we can just sit together under the stars and talk about whatever we want forever and ever. Thank you for being the best part of my day, but don’t move too fast, because you’re starting to become one of the best parts of my life too quickly.
Yours,
Bowie
Gina started to walk over to Ricky.
“Did you like it? Or was it just word goop?” he asked her.
She went to kiss him on the cheek, which went cherry red after she did.
“I loved it. You aren’t too bad with words, Bowie.”
“I learned from the best.”
It meant the world to Gina that Ricky was able and wanted to share his feelings about her to her, and the fact that her words impaired that, meant the whole galaxy to her.
Though it didn’t feel right knowing that to some people, she was Gina , and to others she was Eve. They were just different letters of her name, yet with each, people were able to attach different things to each. On her blog, Gina didn’t want to do that anymore. She was not separate from her inner feelings, they were a part of her, even if she was afraid to acknowledge them. In school, she was not Gina, a dancer, anymore, and that was never all that she was. It was always so hard to keep up with being Gina and Eve separately, and neither was ever quite wholly her. It was then, at the park, with Ricky’s letter in hand, she had an idea for her next blog post: it was a big step, but one she knew she wanted to take to move forward.
Ricky watched as she excitedly pulled out her laptop.
“The genius, Gina back at it again?”
“I don’t know about all that.”
“Well I’m glad to be here to witness it.”
The both of them were now sitting on the grass, and as Gina began typing , Ricky moved closer to her.
“Is it okay if I…?” he asked as he put his head on her shoulder.
“Totally, “ she smiled at him, their faces just inches away from each other. Even if things felt like they were changing so quickly, everything felt just right. Imperfectly perfect.
...
Gina’s 10th Blog Post:
My name is Eve, as most of you are aware here, but the others in other parts of my life, my name is Gina. Both have always, and will always be a part of me, but now, I am willing to let people see all of me, all at once, here. For a long time I kept this secret because I was afraid. As I said before, I feared opening my heart to people. I feared showing a part of me that they hadn't seen before. A part of me that was so real, so deeply me. Having that fear was always so hard though. It felt like, even though I was always me, I was lying to the people around me, lying to myself about who I really was. Finally, I think I am starting to reach a point where I am done lying, and ready to show everyone who I am— who I’ve always been. As I’ve said, and I’ll say it many times again, everything in this world is so imperfectly perfect. Things flow and move in the way that they do, and we should all accept and appreciate that. We are stars that shine, so wholly bright. On the dark days, we have our fellow stars and a few fireflies to guide us back home. Thank you to everyone that followed me on this journey thus far. Here’s to all the new paths we’ll walk together.
- Genevieve