Chapter Text
Alastair lay with his head on Tom's chest, arm slung across his waist, in a half-doze. Tom's arm was around his back, stroking lightly. Contentment radiated from him and surrounded him all at once. He could stay here forever.
Suddenly, they both heard the opening and hard closing of the apartment door.
Alastair and Tom shared a look. Was Tom expecting anyone? 'Certainly not', his expression replied. Well, the bedroom door was locked so they would not be embarrassingly disturbed in any case. They listened to try and discern who came in.
They heard a gleeful male voice - 'Matthew', Thomas mouthed. Then a soft female voice who Alastair knew was Cordelia straight away. He mouthed her name to Tom.
Now, a married lady could go where she wished, but this did not seem proper. On the other hand, Matthew was James' parabatai, surely he was as trusted as a brother to James. Even more so.
"He never even wrote to us - it makes me think he does not mind," they heard Cordelia say.
"Still," said Matthew, "I will need to hear it from James."
"Yes, I feel the same."
"Kiss me now, to give me strength, and we will sort it out with him when he comes back." Cordelia gave a girlish giggle of delight, and then there was a prolonged silence.
Alastair was immediately and totally incensed. Tom tried to placate him silently, but there was no stopping this hurricane.
He could not delay. He needs to stop what was happening immediately. He would not let Cordelia ruin her life. Alastair wrapped the bed sheet around his waist, and unlocked and opened the bedroom door with a bang.
The two, who had indeed been kissing - and rather passionately at that, with arms around one another - sprang apart in surprise.
"Get away from my sister, you cad!" Alastair bellowed with all of the authority of an older brother, pointing accusingly at him with his outstretched finger.
Matthew looked at him, shocked and dumb, unable to account for Alastair's being there at that moment. Then he gathered himself and said, cheeks pink, "Says the man wearing a bed sheet for trousers. How are you even here?!"
"No, Alastair," Cordelia protested, "He is not a cad. You do not understand."
"Then explain it to me," he said to Matthew, who he chose to be angry at over Cordelia, as he put his arm down, "before I throw you out the window." He always used his cutting words over violence, but he was willing to make an exception.
"You cannot harm another Shadowhunter," Matthew protested.
"You will live," he replied.
Thomas came out of the bedroom in his trousers as Alastair talked, in a rush to mediate the situation.
Now both Matthew and Cordelia were even more confused as they looked between the two. "Thomas?" Matthew asked with a bit of anger.
Thomas put calming hands on Alastair's shoulders, and said, "Let's calm down and we can discuss everything civilly." Alastair visibly deflated somewhat, at his touch and at his words, and let out a sigh through his nose.
"Put on some clothes, Thomas," Matthew urged with agitation. "You will give poor Cordelia a heart attack."
Cordelia was in fact beet red and looking away.
"I was just about to suggest it. Alastair?" The two went back into the bedroom and closed the door behind them, but not before Matthew gave them a suspicious, betrayed, look.
They got dressed quickly.
"Are you alright?" Thomas asked.
"I do not know." His anger was at the cusp of boiling over.
"I am as surprised as you are, but there is more to it than you know. Please hear them out."
"You know something that I do not."
"Yes. It is not for me to tell."
Alastair's temper flared hotter, but when he looked at Tom - so open and earnest - it guttered out. He took a moment to remember how they lay so peacefully together only a few moments before. Tom was not his enemy. He was the man he loved. "Alright," Alastair answered. He took his hands in his, and it made him feel even more grounded. Tom kissed him, and he felt wonderful for a moment.
~
Alastair and Tom sat on the sofa, joining Cordelia and Matthew, who sat on armchairs at either side.
"How long has this been going on?" Matthew asked with forced neutrality.
"Since we were in the Sanctuary," Tom replied.
"And you have been coming here? What about Kit?"
"We have all been quite busy, but he has been going to the laboratory when he can."
"You left him to the laboratory for two weeks? He does not remember to eat or sleep properly when he's wrapped up in it. He'll have turned into a mushroom by now, sitting there in the basement."
"We have mostly been dealing with the aftermath of the battle, and extra patrols," Alastair stated, slight accusation making its way into his voice.
Matthew winced. And so did Cordelia. He was still so frivolous - to leave when the Clave needed him. And it inspired in Cordelia her adventurous nature.
Matthew changed tack. "Tom. All those times I talked on and on about boys, and not a word from you."
"I did not wish to talk about those things the way that you do, Math," Tom explained. "I was waiting for it to matter. And I was planning on telling you about this, because this matters to me, very much." Alastair's heart warmed.
"So, you are not just - carrying on?"
"I love him, Matthew," Thomas said seriously.
Cordelia turned shocked eyes to Alastair and he nodded. "I am so happy for you both," she said sincerely. Cordelia was so understanding. He did not know how she did it - but it meant a great deal to him just then.
Yet, he would not be deterred from his own line of questioning any longer. "But what about you two? What do I not understand?"
"Jamie and I are married," Cordelia began, "but we are not together romantically. I lied that day. Jamie was at Blackthorn Manor, and he married me to save my reputation in turn." Alastair was aghast. "I did not tell you because you were so very happy for me. I did not want you to worry about me."
Alastair looked to Matthew, and then to Thomas. "This is what you knew?" he asked Thomas, noting his lack of surprise.
"It was my secret, and Jamie's," Cordelia said.
"We could have figured something out," Alastair said.
"I know, but Jamie did not want to lose me as a friend by leaving London, and I did not want that either. This is the only way. At least for a time, until we can divorce."
Alastair was gutted. Is this what she felt like when he revealed the truth of their father to her?
"And what about the scoundrel?" Alastair asked pointedly. He expected a rebuke from Tom, but none came. He actually did not know how Tom was meant to keep Alastair in line. Would he hit him in the nose with a rolled up newspaper or something? In any case, it seemed that Tom did not disagree with Alastair, or at least respected his right to feel uneasy about this.
Alastair has come to realize that Tom and Alastair were in agreement on many things, and what Alastair had taken for blind admiration when they were younger was actually Tom's attempt to understand his own feelings about things that differed from his friends.
"He is not a scoundrel...We have kissed, and that is all...we will need to speak to Jamie," his sister said.
Matthew's expression turned hard. He got up, and walked over to the liquor table, then stopped. He took a glass from it and went to the sink and took a glass of water instead.
Tom looked at Matthew in amazement, and over to Cordelia. She smiled at him. That was another thing Alastair did not like about Matthew - his drinking. Did Cordelia have something to do with this change?
When Matthew came back, still angry, he said to Tom, "I do not know how you can be with him. The things he said and did to us at school. You are too kind, and were always too forgiving when it came to him especially." Then he seemed to be remembering - perhaps looking at old times with new eyes. Alastair has been doing that plenty himself lately.
"I'm only forgiving to the people that deserve it," Tom said with conviction.
"Matthew," Cordelia said in a way that was asking him to try - for her sake.
Then, Alastair properly apologized, even though he was still so angry himself, and Matthew did not stop him. He said all the things that Thomas had guessed, and that he has said to Thomas about his own suffering and his terrible attempt at protecting himself. And how he wound up all alone but for his family because of it.
Tom showed his support by grasping his arm for a long moment when he was done. Matthew looked on at Tom's tenderness, considering.
"Its a start to understanding you, I suppose," Matthew allowed and let out a long breath. "And I'll give you a start in understanding me. What you said to me back then caused me to doubt my own family. And I really do not know how to forgive that...I will not give you any trouble for being with Tom, but I will not be your friend, either."
Alastair nodded his understanding. "They were just words to me back then, but they were much more to you. I should have known better, because I was running from the same treatment I gave you. Words spoken against my family - except in my case the words were true."
Cordelia looked saddened but did not comment.
"I actually respect your families a great deal," Alastair went on. "Tom's father defied expectations in marrying his mother. His mother understands the world as it is beyond the guilded walls. Matthew, your mum is the first lady Consul, and your father invented Shadowhunter portals. Of course I think highly of you all. How else could I have been with Ch..."
Alastair stopped talking abruptly, half-panicked at unthinkingly betraying Charles' confidence. Could Matthew guess?
"Been with..." Matthew started, thinking.
Cordelia and Thomas looked at Alastair, then shared a searching look that said, 'Do you know about Charles', and found recognition in each others eyes. Matthew caught it.
Alastair grew worried. One thing Matthew had going for him was the best social understanding Alastair has ever seen. "Its not for us to tell," Alastair said to everyone.
Matthew stared at Alastair as he thought, then his eyes widened. "You and Charles became great friends in Paris. I was surprised he came back with so many stories of you. Maybe its another reason I did not want to like you. But, you were not just friends, were you? He was so forlorn when you had your falling out. And the way he called for you when he was so hurt."
There was nothing for it now but to tell the truth. Charles was still not an easy subject for Alastair, but he kept a calm voice as he said, "No, we were not just friends. We were in love. And then he got engaged, because its part of his grand plan. And I tried to convince myself that he was right. That this is the way of the world, and the only way he could get ahead. But, I could not endure it."
Matthew looked stricken. He has just found out something about his brother he kept secret, and how he broke Alastair's heart. Matthew sunk down in his chair. "Charles is the cad."
"Yes," Alastair agreed. "Though, we may yet be friends."
Matthew looked longingly at the liquor table. Cordelia got up, and kindly made him a virgin drink and sat down again. Matthew thanked her, and looked as though her action was quite meaningful to him.
"Why did he not tell me?" Matthew eventually asked rhetorically.
"He told no one but me," Alastair replied. "And I him, until now."
"Three of you keeping silence. Is it really so necessary?" Matthew asked bleakly.
"I did not need it," Tom said, "but I should have considered that you might, Math." Tom said. "And I do need it now - need your support - because even though I expect my family will understand, I know that most are not understanding." Matthew smiled at being told he was needed, though with a edge of bitterness at the necessity of it.
"We were not friends," Alastair said to Matthew softly, offering his own explanation even though it was obvious. "I have had only one friend, until now."
"That ends now," Matthew said. "We will live happier if we are not divided."
Alastair thought of Matthew's libertine ways in a new light. He has not actually given up on the world at all. He has been a visible presence, as has Anna, that has softened the Claves harsh views on people like them. Matthew and Anna were as necessary for change as he and Charles are, he decided. And Tom, because everyone should speak up in their own way, in their own time.
"You are right," Alastair said. "You will show everyone how the law aught to change, and I will change it." Except that Alastair still did not understand how Cordelia fit in with respect to Matthew. What were their intentions?
"While you are changing things," Cordelia said, "you should encourage girls to attend the Academy. I know that Luci and I would have both loved to have gone."
Alastair agreed.
"Mighty ambitious of you," Matthew joked, then said more seriously, "I should like to see that." Then, "Meanwhile, I need to have a discussion with my brother."
Alastair thought that at this point they were almost done with this cross-interrogation. There was just one more thing he needed to know. At least for now. "So, you think that James will be accepting of this thing between you two? And, what exactly is this thing between you?"
"Yes, I think he will accept it," Cordelia said. "You see, he loves Grace Blackthorn. That is what made me unable to stay at home any longer. I knew it, but, when I saw them, together, in the foyer, I could not bear it."
Matthew looked pained. Cordelia has true feelings for James, Alastair surmised, but was willing to give things a try with Matthew, who seemed to love her. Alastair knew a little too much of such things. But wait...
Thomas beat him to it, and said, "But, Grace has been taken to the Silent City for using dark magic on James and on Charles. On James, to have him think he loved her, and Charles to have him marry her. Jamie never loved Grace. He did not tell you while you were away?"
Both Cordelia and Matthew stood up at the same time.
"Magic?" Cordelia asked, dismayed. "And he has left a note that he went on holiday with his family. I cannot ask him about it now - not until he returns. Does he know?"
"Yes," Tom said with concern.
"And he did not tell me. It must have been terrible for him to find out his love was false. And we were not there for him. At least he has his family."
Cordelia and Matthew peppered them with questions about Grace's power over James that they could not answer.
Then his sister grew thoughtful, and said, "If he did not tell us, it...must not have made a difference where we are concerned."
"Or else we have both broken his heart," Matthew said. The two looked at each other.
"All we can do is wait for his return. It will be soon," Cordelia said sadly.
Matthew agreed, just as deeply affected. "And what about Charles?" he demanded.
"He convinced Ariadne to break their betrothal and marry Grace instead," Alastair said softly. "He and Ariadne will not start up their engagement again."
"Well, she has been chasing after Anna, hasn't she?" Matthew commented. "But, to be bewitched like that must be very unsettling."
Alastair agreed.
"Perhaps you and I should each go home, Math," Cordelia said. "But first, may I speak with you in private?" She and Matthew went into the bathroom and closed the door.
Alastair refilled his wine glass and sat down on the arm of the sofa nearest to Tom. Both the drink and Tom's hand on his knee served to calm his nerves.
"That actually went pretty well, all things considered," said Tom.
Alastair had to agree. "Yes, no one was thrown out of the window, for one. And for another, the bar owner did not have to come up and tell us to keep down excessive shouting."
Tom laughed. "Will you still stay after they leave? I must admit that I looked forward to sleeping next to you tonight."
Alastair smiled, his heart warmed yet again. "Yes, I will stay. Nothing can keep me away."
Tom leaned forward and kissed him affectionately on the cheek. It was so sweet, and Alastair could not help but smile broadly at him in return.
Then they heard footsteps, and Alastair realized that the returning Matthew saw both the kiss and his open smile. Matthew gave them a bemused look. And Alastair did something he has not done since his first year of school. He looked down and away in shyness.
There was no playing it off, but he tried anyway. He stood up from the arm of the couch as if that was his intention in looking in that direction and stood up and faced them.
"We would like to stay here just a bit longer, if that is alright," Cordelia said. Alastair guessed that they wanted to stay away from the judgemental eyes of the staff in her home and at his apartment.
"How about we go into the bedroom, and you can stay out here for as long as you need," Tom suggested.
Everyone agreed, and only a little awkwardly.
Cordelia pulled Alastair aside before they parted, and said, "I think its high time we are honest with each other - about everything. We have each tried to hide things from the other so not to burden them. But we are Shadowhunters. We can handle it, and will be stronger together for it."
Indeed, she was not just his little sister any longer. She carried herself like the Shadowhunter she was. He agreed with a small, proud smile.
Then she invited him to breakfast in the morning, saying that there was more that she needed to tell him. He said he would be there.
Matthew rather insistently invited Tom to tea tomorrow as well, which he accepted.
~
Alastair and Tom sat on the end of bed and looked at each other.
"Are you alright, Tom?" Alastair asked, seeing the way his brows furrowed.
"I am worried about them. The three of them. It is very messy between them all and I cannot imagine it will be resolved without someone getting hurt. Maybe all of them."
"You are probably right." Alastair agreed. "But we cannot fix it for them."
"I know."
"But, what we can do is be there when they need it."
"You for Cordelia, and me for my friends."
"Yes. A part of me wants to warn her off the both of them, but that is impossible. I can see they mean so much to her that she could not walk away." Alastair thought it's a choice between a rouge and a helion, but knew voicing such to Thomas would not be welcome.
Tom laughed affectionately about his friends. "Just as there are things about you that they do not see, there are things about them that you do not see either."
Alastair saw that he was transparent enough, judging from Tom's reply. "Tell me," Alastair encouraged.
Tom smiled, and it lit up his eyes.
When they were done talking, Alastair and Tom lay on the bed, kissing quietly (because it was that good) until Cordelia and Matthew left.
"Would you like to know what I think about you?" Tom asked, referring to their earlier conversation.
Alastair nodded, biting his lip.
And Tom told him. Alastair was as flushed and happy as Tom had been when Alastair had spoken of him. Then Tom said with a smirk, "And I bet you could hold on to me expertly if I crushed you against the wall and had my way with you. Want to try?"
"Yes," Alastair said, laughing, and kissed him, and rolled on top of him.
Afterward, they fell asleep in each others arms, Alastair once again wrapped in contentedness, and elation that the two of them had survived that trial of revealed secrets quite well.
~
Alastair walked down the Institute corridor, keeping his appointment to speak with Charles. Not only did Alastair have a great deal of new recommendations to make, given Cordelia's candid (and deeply concerning) account of the enemy they face, but Charles wished to see him as well for an undisclosed reason.
He passed Augustus in the hallway and in passing, his former cohort in bullying said with a smirk, "So, the little puppy has been chasing after you again, I see. Though, he has grown into a mastif." They both stopped, and Augustus went on, "It's like he was made for heavy work - could be useful, you should keep him around." Augustus clearly thought Alastair would find his comment amusing.
Alastair saw red, seeing his words as the classist insult that it was. He felt an even stronger urge for violence than he had in defense of Cordelia. Augustus could use a good punch in the face.
Instead, he replied cooly, "Thomas is a good man and an excellent Shadowhunter - that is what he was made for. Not that you would understand either of those things, Augustus. And, by the way, which of you was sent to the infirmary, and which of you disabled Leviathan's tentacle all by himself?" Augustus' face soured. "This is my only warning to you. Say anything like that to me again, and I will take a turn at throwing you into the Thames."
Augustus blanched, then composed himself before saying, "Suit yourself. I see you have attached yourself to a new well-connected friend. Did Charles see through you and cast you off? I get it. I really do. We all must find our way to better advantage."
Alastair ground his teeth. "Think what you want. We are here to be Shadowhunters, Augustus. Or at least I am. If you have time to insult me, then you have time to do your job." At that, he stalked off, and he was rather proud of himself for not unleashing his own petty insults back at him this time. Questioning his work ethic seemed to do the trick, all the same. Alastair smirked.
He came to the library and sat across from Charles at the end of the long table.
"Is something wrong?" Charles asked.
"Just had a run-in with Augustus in the hallway. It is no matter."
"I am sure you are right," Charles smirked as if confident that Alastair gave better than he got. "Thank you for the warning about my brother coming to see me, by the way."
"Of course. And, I am sorry. I revealed more than I meant to when I was speaking with him. I stopped myself, but he was able to guess."
"He said as much himself, and much more," Charles said, he smiled briefly but did not elaborate.
Then Alastair went into his ideas with Charles.
Charles' eyes sparkled with pride and interest. When he was done, Charles said, "Well, as for the changes to the Enclave, I am sure you know how to implement them. As for the changes for the Clave to consider, I will put them forward."
Alastair looked at him in confusion.
Charles smiled at him, and said, "I have been tasked to head the Clave's investigation into what has gone on here in London." Alastair congratulated him, surprised. "And I have put your name forward to lead the London Enclave while I am gone."
"What?"
"You have earned it. Do not think I have not noticed all you have been doing, and with such masterful subtlety - planting doubts about the blowhards among the Encalve without being too confrontational about it. And you have proven it again today with your recommendations."
"T-thank you, Charles."
"It will be temporary, for the length of the investigation. But with any luck I will make a good impression and it will earn me a role in the Clave. In that case, the job will be yours permanently."
"I will do my best."
"I am sure that you will." Then Charles hesitated, and said, "I had to consider whether I would take the position, to be honest."
"Why?"
"Well, I had hoped that there was still a chance between us. I would have wished to stay in London in that case. But, I can see that there is not."
Alastair could see how Charles scanned his face for a reaction, and suspected he was fishing to find out how well things were going with Tom. A flash of anger stole over Alastair, but he pushed it down.
Alastair thought that Tom would be pleased if he told him how he kept his head two times over today. He would smile at him and praise him and Alastair would be very happy.
"And so I have decided," Charles went on, "to accept the position."
Charles was not over him. Not nearly. Perhaps some distance would be good for them both.
"It is a wonderful opportunity - for both of us," Alastair replied. "I only hope we will not be caught unawares by our enemies."
"We will make sure we are not."
"And...I will do my best to enact the changes we used to talk about."
"Yes," Charles agreed. "Matthew had a good deal to say about that as well."
Alastair thought about a conversation he had with Tom. About how, when people were comfortable in their standing they did not press too hard for change. Did not want to rock the boat unnecessarily.
It was something that Alastair and Tom had in common - feeling like outsiders among the advantaged - though for different reasons. Tom revealed to him his astute observations on the privileged. And it helped Alastair realize some things about Charles that he did not see before - or did not want to see.
That Charles' bad habits and expectation for success were due to his advantages. And the only way to break him of it was to challenge him. Push him in the right direction.
"How about this," Alastair said. "We both do what we can. Make things better."
"Perhaps you will be Inquisitor one day, and I will be Consul."
"And whichever of us winds up the next Consul or Inquisitor," Alastair went on, "well, it is all for the good. But, if I see that you are not doing those things, I will do them myself. And, in either case, do not be surprised if I surpass you."
Charles laughed in surprise - offended and pleased both at once. "I would not ask you to hold back, Alastair," he replied challengingly.