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A Love Worth Sacrificing Everything For

Chapter 4: Forever Means Forever

Notes:

This fic has been an unexpected journey.

It's the first ever fic (out of 571 I have) I've had to turn on "Account Required" for comments, based on the absolute batshit insanity that went on in the comments between today and yesterday. Waking up to that mess was a bit like waking up to a nightmare that didn't stop all day.

In addition to that, I have wondered, all day, whether the final installment is going to disappoint, because I have such a different take on what some of you see in regards to the Lightwood Siblings, and what you're expecting from a Magnus/Alec conversation.

So I guess what I would say is this. Go gently on authors. You might have your personal take on certain things, but just... know that reading those comments, taking in that feedback, and even potentially trying to respond to it is so draining - it saps your energy as a creator. I'm used to it, and am well able to bounce back from it? But not all authors are.

Last but not least, this chapter is dedicated to all of the kind comments, commenters, words of kindness I received across Twitter, Tumblr, and here on Ao3. You are all amazing people and I love each and every single one of you. Don't worry about me - I'm still going to be writing (TotheStarsWriting and I have a 430k Monstrocity to get to you all, after all!) and putting up fics and creating.

With enough Ado, here's the final installment!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Magnus stared at the hard line of Alec's shoulders, at the way they'd begun to shake, Alec clearly braced for a blow.  He dropped his eyes to his thighs and closed them, breathing out slowly, his fingers clenching in the fabric of his slacks.  He knew precisely why he'd chased after Alec, why he would have torn the world apart to find him again, no matter how long it took.  

 

"I had to find you," Magnus admitted, staring down at his pants.  "I had to... to..." he swallowed, the words caught in his throat.  Why had he decided to come after Alec?  After everything?  After Alec had said goodbye?  After the Lightwoods had cut him out of their family so thoroughly, it was clear that he would never be welcomed back?

 

Alec pressed his lips together, forcing himself to be silent as he turned to look at Magnus.  He wanted to push, demand that Magnus explain, tell him why he'd come here with Lydia. But... he was selfish.  Every moment Magnus delayed was one more moment he got to spend here, with Magnus, and that was worth everything.  Because he was pathetic, and despite how badly he had hurt Magnus, that didn't stop him from wanting.

 

"You may have noticed," Magnus started, his voice softening, shifting to hold his hands in his lap, rubbing at the rings on his fingers.  "That for all of my relationship experience, I am not particularly experienced at being vulnerable."  

 

Alec frowned, his brow wrinkling.  He turned to look at Magnus, but Magnus wasn't looking at him, he was staring at the wall of the greenhouse in front of him.  "Magnus-" he froze when Magnus held a hand up.  

 

"I'm powerful, Alec.  I had a father who fed that knowledge, the worst parts of it.  The more warlocks I met, the more this knowledge settled into me, an undeniable truth."  He watched a small bead of condensation travel down the inside of the window, the slow, stuttering pace.  "You disarmed me, entirely.  In a way that terrified me.  And while I was terrified, I trusted you, because I could see, I could see that I scared you in the same way right back."  

 

Alec swallowed, no noise outside of the quiet sound of sprinklers going off around them echoed in the greenhouse.  

 

Magnus huffed out a sad laugh, closing his eyes, cutting him off from the sight of the greenhouse and the reminder that Alec was there, right there.  "So at the very least, we were in it together."  He tapped his thumb against his finger ring and breathed out slowly.  

 

Alec stared at Magnus and waited.  Waited for, for whatever Magnus was going to say. 

 

"I think," Magnus started.  "I think what I struggle with the most is that I could never do what you did."  He paused and even the sound of Alec's breathing was gone from the space.  "Could I break your heart to give you back your runes, your entire way of life, because you had shown me, in action and word, that I wasn't enough?"  

 

Alec fiercely bit down the whine that tried to escape.

 

Magnus sniffed, hard, a tear sliding down his cheek.  "I regret that I pushed you into that situation, Alec.  And no matter what you say, I did push you there."  He reached up and wiped at his cheek, but the tears kept falling.  "But I could never have done what you did.  Because..."

 

Alec felt frozen, staring at the sight of Magnus silently crying, in the middle of the greenhouse he had tended since he was a kid, every word a knife twist to his heart.  "Because?"  

 

"Because I didn't realize that you don't know how much a part of me you are," Magnus breathed out, his voice too soft in the quiet.  "You said you weren't enough, but I was too lost in my pain to try to correct you.  I'd lost so much less than I thought, Alec.  But I've never dealt with vulnerability well."  

 

Alec sighed, clenching his eyes shut before he breathed out, unsteady.  "Magnus-"

 

"I'm here because I love you," Magnus interrupted.  A small hiccup left him and the tears ran down his cheeks even faster.  "I hate it, because you hurt me, so badly, Alexander.  You tore out my heart that night, and left with it."  He swallowed, clenching his fingers tighter together.  "You said you wanted to see if I was whole again.  Well, I'm not.  I'm not, and I won't ever be, because..."

 

Alec flinched.  Of course he had failed in even this.  Of course getting Magnus back his magic back hadn't been enough.  He'd caused irreparable pain and-

 

"Because you still have my heart.  I gave it to you," Magnus said.  "And, and, I..." He slid off of the small stand and turned to face Alec, squaring his shoulders, dropping his glamour so he could meet Alec's eyes, letting him see him, tears, smeared makeup, and all.  All of him, bared for his shadowhunter.  

 

"I can't be whole unless I have your heart, too, Alec." 

 

Alec stayed frozen, still as a statue.  Statues didn't have hearts that ached like a constant wound.  Statues didn't weep or sob, or show emotion.  Statues didn't beg for a second chance, a third chance, a fourth, that they didn't deserve, and never would.  It took more effort to move, to force his limbs into action than he wanted to admit to himself, but Alec reached out and somehow pulled Magnus into his arms.  

 

Magnus' arms were around him a moment later, and Alec started to shake, the weight of the pain, the agony, and love all too much together.  "It's always been yours," he whispered into Magnus' hair, tears streaking down his face as he hugged Magnus tighter, glad when he was held back just as tight.  "It belongs to you.  It will always be yours."  

 

Magnus wanted to laugh, wanted to, to, cry harder, to break apart and let Alec pull him back together.  Here, in the greenhouse where Alec had thought about asking him to marry him, (and the small zing of disbelieving joy at that realization had yet to fade) Magnus let himself sink into Alec's arms as he held on as tight as he dared. 

 

Alec didn't know how long they stood there for, clinging to each other, crying, squeezing tighter every time one of them tried to pull away.  It was almost like if they held on tight enough, it would heal all of the cracks and broken pieces.  He closed his eyes and nuzzled Magnus' temple, breathing him in, melting against him.  

 

"I didn't know how to feel, before," Magnus said, breathing slowly against Alec's shoulder.  "When, when you came to see me."  He closed his eyes and settled into the familiar circle of Alec's arms.  "I hated that I cared about how exhausted and... and..." his voice dropped.  "and broken-hearted you looked.  I hated how we were both hurting and, and-"

 

"Magnus?" Alec whispered, glad when Magnus didn't try to pull away from him.  He wasn't sure he could stay standing if Magnus tried to pull away from him now.  

 

Magnus swallowed hard at the broken, plaintive tone in Alec's voice and tried to force his own to steady.  "Alexander?"  

 

"Why did you come here?" The question burned as soon as it left his lips.  Magnus had, had said that it was because he loved him, but that didn't, didn't mean that they had a way forward, that they could be together.  He tightened his arms around Magnus and tried to ready himself for whatever the answer was going to be.  

 

Magnus took a deep breath to try to figure out how to answer when Alec kept talking.

 

"I, I mean, I know you said it was because you love me, and because you, you.  Because I have your heart, and..." Alec wanted to growl at the way his voice refused to steady, refused to not sound so broken.  But none of those things were a way forward.  None of those things were wanting to be together again.  They were just, just statements.  

 

Magnus sighed and nuzzled into Alec's shoulder again, refusing to let go of his shadowhunter, even as he tried to gather his words once again.  "I promise I will answer it," he started, before he huffed out a small laugh.  "Do you know why Lydia agreed to bring me here, to tell me where you were, when everyone else told me to fuck off in a variety of shadowhunter ways?"

 

"No, I don't," Alec whispered.  It was a question he probably should have asked Lydia.  But he'd been so focused on his own pain, and hearing Magnus was here, nothing else had really mattered after that.  

 

"I was tired, and exhausted.  Oberon and I had spent the better part of six hours trying to mitigate a shouting match between the Head of the Institute in Vienna and a variety of pack and coven leaders," Magnus started, his arms tightening around Alec in a small squeeze.  "I'd slumped in the library at the same table as her, and I'd said that whole meeting would have gone easier if you were there."  

 

Alec made a quiet, inquisitive noise. 

 

Magnus started to smile, small and faint.  "She gave me the most scathingly polite look and said something along the lines of, 'It's a strange thing, that you want to see him.  I understood you had permanently parted ways.  What a strange thing to ask for.'"  He paused and managed a laugh, shifting just enough so he could look up at Alec, holding onto him just as tight.  

 

"I told her when I'd always imagined going Institute to Institute, we were side by side, doing it together.  Working together, because we always worked well when it came to change, and dragging others along behind us.  Lydia laughed at me, but it was a kind laugh," Magnus whispered.  "I wasn't expecting a kind laugh."  

 

"Lydia's a good friend," Alec whispered, leaning in so he could press his forehead to Magnus'.  

 

"She asked me if I missed you, and I..." Magnus swallowed, hesitating before he continued.  "I said I did.  The same way she missed the other half of her heart, every day."  

 

Alec closed his eyes.  No wonder Lydia had said what she had about John, and about her.  Magnus had been the one to make the comparison first, and it rang true for both of them.  "Magnus..."

 

"And I said," Magnus swallowed.  "That I would go door to door to every single Institute if I had to, to prove that, that I wasn't, that what we'd started wasn't going to stop."  He started to rush, the words pouring out of him now.  "I was going to prove to Isabelle and Jace, and Max, that we needed you.  That I needed you."  

 

Magnus loosened his hands on Alec's shirt, sliding them up his back slowly, up his sides, along his shoulders, until he was carefully wiping away the tear tracks.  "Why am I here?" he repeated.  "Because I love you.  Because you shattered me into a million pieces, and yourself at the same time.  You did it for love, and no one..." he swallowed.  "No one has ever loved me that much, to, to sacrifice themselves to make me whole."  

 

Magnus met Alec's eyes when they fluttered open, wide and wet with tears.  "Because Ragnor, bless the bastard, once told me that when I find that kind of love, I have to hold onto it with both hands and never let it go."  He exhaled shakily against Alec's lips.  "That's, that's why I'm here, Alexander."  

 

"I love you too," Alec whispered.  "I love you so much, Magnus."  He held onto him even tighter, his fingers likely leaving bruises on Magnus beneath the warm silk shirt.  "I won't, I can't promise I won't ever hurt you again, I, fuck, I know I'll mess up somewhere."  He met Magnus' eyes, desperate and fierce.  "But I promise that I'm never going to leave.  Never.  I'm not leaving you again, Magnus."  

 

Magnus pulled him down for a kiss, because the familiar ache was there, the constant reminder that never for Alexander had a countdown attached, and they'd lost so much time already.  He could taste the tears on Alec's lips, salty as his own, and they had never tasted better.  He was glad when Alec didn't let go of him, only kissed him until they were backed up against the wall of the greenhouse. 

 

They resurfaced several long minutes later, and Alec stared down at Magnus, kissing him again, short and hard, before running his thumb along Magnus' jaw.  "I mean it," he whispered, soft and certain.  "I mean it, Magnus."  

 

Magnus swallowed and fought down the tears that were threatening all over again.  "I know you do, darling heart.  I know."  He leaned in for another kiss, but Alec stopped him, kept him pressed into place, leaving him wanting for the kiss.  "Alec?"  

 

Alec let out a shaky breath and tilted himself forward so his entire body was against Magnus.  "I know you don't believe me.  But I'm going to prove it to you."  

 

Magnus opened his mouth to protest, but then Alec was taking his hand to smile at him again.  "Alexander, you don't-"

 

"Shhh," Alec interrupted.  "Let me show you your corner of the greenhouse.  You'll understand then."  

 

Magnus swallowed hard, and looked around at the handful of empty rows that they were standing in next to the orchids.  "This, this isn't?"  

 

Alec's eyes darted to the empty soil beside them and he gave Magnus a sheepish smile.  "No, these are my testing beds for orchids.  I'd, they were the national flower of Indonesia, and I wanted to bring them to the loft once they'd grown."  

 

Magnus' eyes filled with tears all over again and he fought to swallow down the lump of his throat.  Now that he was paying more attention to them, he could see the flowers that were almost identical to the ones he remembered from centuries ago. "Alec."  His voice was hoarse and horribly affected, but this shadowhunter of his was determined to disarm him over and over again.

 

"Come on," Alec said, leading Magnus toward a door in the back corner.  He stopped in front of it and took a deep breath.  "Keep your voice down," he added, softly.  "She doesn't like it when you talk too loud until she gets used to you."  

 

"She?" Magnus breathed, blinking in surprise as Alec opened the door.  He followed through the doorway and stopped, far enough in for Alec to close the door behind him.  This small corner was a traditional greenhouse in its own right, built as a clear expansion to the existing one.  

 

In the very center of the garden, lights carefully positioned around it, grew a plant that Magnus had only ever seen in books older than he was.  He took a step forward, but the sound of his boots against cobblestone had him flinching back.  He kicked off his shoes and disappeared his socks, before approaching the tall flower stalk.  

 

Alec watched Magnus approach the flower, his eyes wide and astonished.  His heart twisted hard in his chest, and he had to pray, had to hope that he hadn't made a mistake.  The wards for this greenhouse were set for only he and Magnus.  He couldn't risk anyone else seeing what he'd grown here, what had not only sprouted, but flourished.  

 

"Alexander, where..." he whispered.  He stopped, a few feet from the flower, and traced his eyes along the soft blue stalk, along the leaves that were silver with golden veins, and the large, bloom at the top, slowly unfurling now that he'd stepped closer.  

 

"Once a month, she blooms for me," Alec murmured, stepping up closer to Magnus, reaching out to trail his fingers along one of the leaves, watching as the plant quivered at his touch.  "She knows that one day, I will pick the bloom, and that she will never flower again afterward, unless...."  he trailed off.  Magnus knew how that sentence finished.

 

Magnus swallowed hard, watching as Alec's fingers trailed up the stalk, and the bloom, a riot of whites, reds, and purples, finished opening for him.  It was beautiful, and the very inside, a pure gold.  

 

A healthy Moonswind stalk and flower.  One of the rarest potion ingredients in any world known to him.  A flower that had been sought and hunted beyond extinction, destroyed by the warlocks and Seelie for those that would abuse it and use the blooms for Potion Immortalis.  There were rumors that the Seelie Queen kept a few stalks for herself, unable to let such a flower die entirely.  But here?  How had this come to be here? 

 

"It's my blood that rests in her soil.  My magic she pulled from me.  My hands that have tended her, my words that have sustained her, and..." Alec paused, stepping up beside Magnus, watching as he continued to stare in awe at the flower.  "...and my love for you that makes her bloom."  

 

Magnus pressed one hand to his lips, his whole body trembling as he stared at the Moonswind stalk.  "Where did you find one, Alexander?"  

 

Alec took a deep breath and reached out to trail his fingers down the light blue stalk, petting the flower that had grown steadily with his help and support.  "The Clave had one.  It was a seed, and it had never been attempted to grow.  When I found out, I stole it."  

 

Blinking, Magnus turned to look at Alec in shock.  "What?"  

 

Alec nodded, just a faint gesture, his eyes still on the plant in front of him.  "In the deepest levels of the Archives.  One of..." he paused, hesitated, before continuing.  "One of the Silent Brothers brought it to me.  I think he knew.  Somehow."  

 

In an instant, Magnus knew who had helped Alec to prepare this gift.  Tears streaked down his cheeks, and he vowed to contact Jem as soon as he could, because it could have been no one else.  "Brother Zachariah," he whispered.  

 

"Yes," Alec confirmed.  "I suspected you knew each other.  He gave it to me, and a book on it.  I brought it here, the only place I knew I could keep it safe."  He smiled, faint and small.  "I started growing it as soon as I knew what it meant.  Even if we didn't use the bloom for... for that, I know the potion ingredients alone are worth untold value."  

 

Magnus fought down another sob, his whole body starting to tremble.  "It grew for you," he breathed.  "It bloomed for you."  If the rumors were true about the Seelie Queen having stalks of Moonswind, he would not be surprised, but none of the stalks had bloomed for centuries.  

 

"There was never a doubt in my mind that she would," Alec said, grinning faintly.  "I knew from the start she would.  It was for you, after all."  

 

"And you," Magnus swallowed and tried to breathe through the revelation of the flower in front of him.  "You want-"

 

Alec hummed an affirmative.  "It was going to be my wedding gift to you.  This flower, this space, myself.  I wanted to prove it to you.  That I mean forever.  Not only the next fifty or sixty years, however many I am blessed to have."   

 

Magnus could feel his heart pounding in his ears, slow and achy with every beat.  Alec loved him in a way that no one else in his long life ever had.  Alec loved him enough to destroy himself, and to offer him a gift that he was terrified to accept.  He stared at the flower, the silence stretching in the greenhouse between them.  

 

He reached out to take Alec's hand, stepping in close until they were pressed together, shoulder to shoulder, staring at the flower in front of them.  The Moonswind.  "You know I could never ask it of you.  That I never would have."  

 

"I know," Alec breathed.  "I know, Magnus."  

 

"You're going to give up-"

 

"And what about what I gain, huh?" Alec asked, cutting Magnus off.  "This decision is a heavy one, but it is not only negative.  I could lose any of my family tomorrow on patrol, it is the reality of our lives."  He squeezed Magnus' hand and leaned into him.  "No more countdown.  No more rush.  No more fear.  I will be there for any children we could, and will have."  

 

Alec let out a breath and grinned a little.  "Our world will be slow to change Magnus, and while I am unafraid of starting it, I want to see the results just as much."  He turned into Magnus' shoulder and leaned against him, breathing out slowly.  "I want to celebrate your next centennial.  And the next.  I want to study at the Spiral Labyrinth.  I want to have decade-long grudge matches."  

 

Magnus' laugh was wet and heavy, but as he stared at the flower, and the picture of their life Alec painted for them, he wanted it with a fierceness that surprised him. It was almost easy to see it playing out in front of them, decades falling by the wayside as they lost themselves in each other, and in their own projects.  

 

Alec lowered his voice, turning to whisper into Magnus' ear.  "I want to spend lifetimes learning you, Magnus.  I want not just some of your stories, I want all of the ones you are willing to share."  He tightened his hand around Magnus'.  "Everything the Moonswind represents, I want, with you, Magnus."

 

"It will be almost a shame to pluck her bloom," Magnus whispered, staring at it.  

 

Alec's breath caught, his heart leaping into his mouth.  "She'll bloom again for you."  

 

Magnus knew better than to assume that she would.  For the Moonswind to bloom for him, it would be an indication of that which had long faded to fairy tale and myth.  Soulmates.  Destined pairs.  Moonswind would bloom for them, always.  "Maybe," he allowed.  

 

Alec smiled and pressed a kiss to Magnus' temple.  "She will."  He released Magnus' hand and carefully crept a hand around Magnus' waist, pulling him in close.  

 

Magnus nestled into Alec's chest and breathed out, slow and steady.  Certainty settled over him again and he smiled, pressing a soft kiss to Alec's neck as he reached out for Alec's hands bringing them to the space between them.  

 

"I have an idea," he whispered.  Magnus cupped both of Alec's hands together and wrapped his around the outside of them.  With a soft exhalation, he focused on their hands pressed together.  He lifted his eyes to meet Alec's and let his magic curl in Alec's palms, feeling the small ball draw from both their magics.  

 

The sound of a soft metal 'clink' had him looking back down at Alec's fingertips and the hint of metal he could see shining through them.  They were blank bands, but they would serve his purpose.  He could feel Alec starting to tense, but he offered a smile and started to focus again.  

 

"I want Max to keep the Lightwood ring," Magnus whispered. "Not because I do not want to wear it, but because if we're going to have, have forever-" and oh those words were both forbidden and the sweetest sound he had ever heard. "-we won't be passing them on any time soon."  

 

Alec stared at Magnus, blinking hard at the feel of the cool metal between his fingertips.  Was, was Magnus really going to...

 

Magnus took a deep, shaky breath and reached out to touch the Moonswind stalk, feeling the pulse of ancient, powerful magic touch his, making him gasp.  Right there, and then, it settled and he knew, somehow, that Alec was right.  It would bloom for both of them, and it would never be as sensitive around them as it was to others.  Somehow.  

 

"Could we have a single leaf, please?"  In an instant, a leaf had detached from the stalk to fall to the loamy soil it was planted in.  Magnus scooped it up and opened Alec's hands enough to drape it over the two rings there.  

 

"Look at me, Alexander," Magnus ordered, glad when Alec's hazel eyes met his.  "Don't let go, and think of me.  Our magic will do the rest."  

 

"I trust you," Alec whispered.  

 

Magnus kept his eyes on Alec as he wrapped his magic around the rings, and the leaf, pulling and tugging gently at Alec's magic from within him until it joined the two rings.  The leaf dissolved quickly under the heat of the magic and sank into the rings, and Magnus let himself drift, thinking of Alec, and all that he loved about him.  

 

When the magic felt heavy enough that their arms were starting to shake, Magnus slammed Alec's palms together, the rings between them, the power dissipated immediately.  He pulled Alec's hands apart and looked down at the rings.  On the outside, the flames of the Lightwood ring, and on the inside, the pattern of the leaf of the Moonswind. 

 

Magnus was so caught up in staring at the rings that were somehow a perfect representation of them both, that when Alec moved, he was almost startled.  He blinked in surprise when Alec shifted away from him, his eyes flying up in worry that something was wrong, when Alec dropped to one knee.  

 

Alec's hands were suddenly around his and Magnus was struggling to breathe, even as he stared down at Alec, who was grinning brightly at him.  

 

"Magnus Bane," Alec started, a smile curving his lips.  After everything they had gone through, it seemed impossible, like a dream, that they were standing here, together like this.  The last six weeks of pain, and hazy blending together had fallen to the wayside in the face of them coming together again.  He lifted Magnus’ hands and kissed the back of them.  

 

Be happy, Lydia had said.  Seize it.  Alec grinned against Magnus’ skin and looked up at him once again.  

 

“I love you,” he said, unable to keep from smiling, broad and happy.  “I love you in ways I had never imagined it possible to love someone, Magnus.  And we have always, despite everything, found our way back to each other, and we are stronger together than we ever are apart.”  Alec took a deep breath and settled the rings into his palm, never looking away from Magnus.  

 

“I want to wake up to see you every morning I can.  Every night, I want to fall asleep in your arms, or with you in mine.  I want to spoil you, take you on dozens of vacations, have you show me the world-”

 

“Okay Aladdin,” Magnus teased, reaching up to wipe off one of his cheeks, laughing when Alec gave him a confused look.  “Mundane Disney movie.  I’ll put it on our list.  I’m sorry, keep going.”  

 

Alec grinned and blew Magnus a kiss.  “I want to spend decades, centuries, making you laugh, and making you light up with joy.  I want to not only change the world for you, I want to change the world with you and see what it becomes as we do.”  He paused, taking another deep breath, barely able to keep from rushing through the rest of his speech.  “I want to have children with you, ones that have not only your brilliance, but your fashion sense.”  

 

Magnus laughed again, doing his best to blink away the tears that threatened.  “Alexander!”  

 

“You are everything I ever dreamed of wanting, and so much more, Magnus Bane,” Alec said, unable to keep from smiling.  “And here, in a space that is wholly ours, and no one else’s, is the only true spot I could imagine asking this question.”  

 

All Magnus could hear was the pounding of his heart, his blood pumping in his ears as Alec continued to stare at him, gathering the ring, the rings that they had made together, onto his fingertips.  

 

“So,” Alec started.  “Magnus, will you marry me?” 

 

Magnus grinned, twisting his hand just enough so he could take the other ring out of Alec’s palm, holding onto Alec’s hands.  “On one condition,” he said, leaning in for a kiss.  Once their lips parted with a slick, wet noise, he exhaled slowly.  “We spend the next week hiding away here.”  

 

Alec laughed and slid the ring carefully onto Magnus’ finger, his breath catching as Magnus cupped his hand, and with gentle strokes of his fingers, slid the matching band onto his ring finger.  “I think we are both overdue a vacation,” he agreed, letting Magnus haul him up and into another kiss.  It was easy to press Magnus back against the almost empty table next to the Moonswind and kiss him until they both had to break apart for air.  

 

“I love you,” Magnus whispered.  He tightened his arms around Alec, squeezing him tight.  “I love you so much, Alec.  Yes, of course, yes, nothing would make me happier.”  

 

After weeks of devastation, of being barely able to get through the day and function, Magnus’ words, lips, and touch were a balm to his soul, and Alec melted into him, kissing him again and again, pressing as tight to Magnus as he could manage.  “I love you too, Magnus.  I love you too.” When Magnus clung to him just as tight, just as desperate, Alec sank into it and let himself hope, and believe, that maybe, just maybe, they could have this.  All of it.  

 

~!~

 

The vacation was everything Alec could have ever hoped for.  

 

He and Magnus alternated spending time on the beach (with Magnus wearing increasingly less and less clothing), and getting up to their elbows in dirt as Magnus began planting some of his rarest potion ingredients in the Lightwood greenhouse, under the careful observation of the Moonswind.  Her blooms had folded, but Alec had reassured Magnus that it would come back in a month, under the light of the full moon, with one of them there.  

 

Magnus had then proceeded to distract him thoroughly from the thought of any gardening, pinning him back against the wall of the greenhouse.  

 

Piece by piece, hour by hour, and day by day, Alec felt more and more settled into his skin.  He watched Magnus weave protection spell after spell into the metal of their rings.  They talked, more than they had ever had time to do before, until finally, the last of the ghosts were put to rest, and they curled together, as much bare skin touching as possible, and breathed.  

 

By the time a week had gone by, Alec was sure that he wanted to leave, to go home.  Even Magnus was a tad antsy, as they stared at the portal Magnus had conjured for them.  Magnus had teased him about gaining his weight back, and though their training sessions often ended a particular way, they had managed to spar a few times together.  

 

Unbidden, the old mantra rose, and Alec paused, his hand tightening around Magnus’ pulling him to a stop.  Eat.  Sleep.  Work.  Train.  Repeat.  Fear gripped him and he stared at the portal, his breathing coming fast and uneven.  “Magnus, I, we…” he swallowed, shaking his head, ordering himself to focus.  “What if… what if we…” 

 

Magnus hummed and carefully tugged Alec until his fiance was looking at him.  “Relationships take effort,” he repeated, his voice soft.  “Our relationship will always take effort, Alexander.  Some days it will be easy, and some days it will not be.” He lifted Alec’s hand and kissed his ring.  “Flippant as I was about it then, the fact that I am all for effort has not changed.  But this time I will put in just as much effort.”  

 

Alec let his shoulders sag the smallest amount in relief and he nodded, leaning in to kiss Magnus, breathing softly against his lips.  “I love you,” he whispered.  

 

“And I love you, dear heart,” Magnus said, reaching up to cup his face.  “Ready?”  

 

“As long as you’re holding my hand,” Alec said, squeezing Magnus’ fingers.  

 

Magnus grinned and stole another kiss.  “They would have to tear me away.”  He reached down to pick up the bag he had summoned for himself and shouldered it, before letting Alec lead him through the portal.  Three Lightwood/Herondale siblings were waiting, hands on their hips.  

 

Without missing a beat, Magnus looked straight at Max.  “Max, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you will be keeping the Lightwood ring.”  He was glad when Alec squeezed his hand before he started to grin and lifted up their hands, their rings glinting in the light of the Institute.  He caught Izzy and Jace’s gasps before he continued.  “Alec and I have no intention of ever giving ours up, so it will be up to you to pass the Lightwood ring down.”  

 

Max laughed, uncrossing his arms.  “Oh yeah?”  He eyed the rings they were both wearing and raised his eyebrows.   “Nice rings, you two.”  

 

Magnus grinned, the last of the tension fading from his spine as he stepped in closer, Alec right beside him.  “Your advice to the both of us was excellent, Max.  Just took us far too long to take it.”  

 

Max’s blinding, proud grin in response had him returning it with a laugh.  The tight hug he was given, moments later, confirmed what he’d already known from Isabelle and Jace’s whoops of excitement and their desperate hugs with Alec. 

 

They were home.  Together. 

 

Notes:

Blood is an excellent fertilizer!!

(Note: Pigs blood or cows blood, not human.)

Notes:

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