Chapter Text
The first time Joshua spends the night at Jun’s, he runs into Minghao the next morning.
She’s giving him the evil eye when he stumbles out into the kitchen, like he’s some random dirtbag and not the guy she’s hung out with almost every day for years now, ever since they suffered through that stats class together second semester of freshman year.
“This is kind of weird,” Joshua laughs as he reaches for a cup for water, trying to thaw the sudden weird chill between them. It doesn’t really work — he finds his cheeks heating under Minghao’s narrow-eyed gaze instead.
“What’s weird?” she asks immediately.
Joshua opens his mouth to answer and finds he can’t really think of anything to say. Minghao’s always doing this — calling him out for making stupid assumptions, or for not thinking shit through before he opens his mouth. It made him feel really threatened when they first met, but he’s grown to appreciate her honesty.
Usually. Right now he kind of just wants her to be nice.
“Nothing,” he says, self-conscious. Minghao nods slowly, but she’s still exuding a pretty unimpressed aura.
Joshua takes a sip of the water, working up his courage.
“Actually, I wanted to ask you something. I was wondering if, um,” he starts, finally, knowing he’s opening himself up for the full Xu Minghao judgment experience. He pauses, takes a deep breath, and keeps going anyway. “Do you think Jun would think it was weird if I asked her out?”
Minghao stares at him for a deliberate beat. Joshua doesn’t let himself wilt under her gaze, but it’s a closer call than he’d like to admit.
“You guys literally had sex,” she says flatly. “That’s why you’re in my kitchen right now.”
“I mean, yeah,” Joshua hedges, trying not to think about the night before too obviously while Minghao is still looking at him. It’s really fucking hard to keep shit from Minghao — he’s sure she’d be able to see everything on his face. “But, like. I want to ask her out for real. Like. Officially.”
“Wow.”
“Is that surprising?” Joshua laughs nervously. Is it weird? Will Jun say no? He thought they had a nice time, but — maybe it isn't what she wants. Maybe she doesn't even date guys for real. Joshua doesn’t know. There are a lot of things about Jun he doesn’t know yet.
“It’s a little surprising,” Minghao says slowly. “I didn’t know she was your type.”
Joshua shrugs. He doesn’t have the words to explain why he likes being around Jun so much — he’s not sure there are any. He feels nice when he’s around her, that’s all. He thinks that should be enough.
“I didn’t know you were her type either,” Minghao continues. Joshua genuinely can’t tell if she’s trying to make him feel like shit on purpose or if she thinks this is a helpful thread of conversation, but if it’s the first one — damn. She’s really hitting it out of the park.
“Because I’m a guy?”
Minghao makes a little face, like that was a stupid thing to say. Joshua has never been this out of depth in his life, he’s pretty sure.
“No, because you’re nice.”
Joshua frowns at her response, thrown. That seems like a weird thing to say.
“Does she not date nice people?”
Minghao snorts.
“Jun doesn’t date anyone.”
“Oh.” Joshua pauses, taken aback. “Should I not ask her, then?”
He regrets asking as soon as he says it — he’ll be really disappointed if Minghao says he shouldn’t, more than he realized. He wants to ask her — he really wants to ask her. He hasn’t even left their apartment yet, but he already wants to see Jun again.
Minghao’s eyes are careful as she looks Joshua up and down, like she’s giving her final appraisal of whether he’s worthy of Jun’s honour. His shoulders straighten almost of their own accord, trying to project trustworthy vibes even as he stands barefoot in her kitchen, wearing a white t-shirt and yesterday’s boxers.
“If you want to do it, you should,” Minghao says, finally. “But, just. Make sure you really want to.”
Joshua frowns. Isn’t it obvious? Why else would he ask?
“And don’t be surprised when she won’t hang out with you because she’s rewatching all of Hunter x Hunter for the third time,” Minghao warns.
Wow. That’s —
“She likes Hunter x Hunter?” Joshua asks quietly. “I used to love that show.”
Minghao stares at him for another long moment, amusement and familiar condescension finally replacing the doubt on her face.
“Well, then,” she says. “You have my blessing, I guess.”
“Thanks,” Joshua says. He should be rolling his eyes at Minghao’s patronizing tone, he knows. He can’t quite keep himself from smiling instead.
Jun’s awake when he slips back into her bedroom, but it’s clearly against her will — she’s got one arm flung over her face, and she groans as soon as Joshua opens the door.
“I could hear you and Minghao outside,” she mutters. “Morning people….”
“Sorry,” Joshua whispers, wincing as he comes to sit at the edge of the bed. When Jun finally takes her arm down she looks pretty awake, though, actually. She smiles when she sees him. Her hair’s all fucked up — Joshua reaches to fix it for her without thinking, then pulls his hand back when he realizes what he’s doing. Jun just keeps smiling, not seeming bothered.
“It’s okay,” she says, nodding towards where his hand is now clenching awkwardly at his side. Joshua laughs awkwardly, feeling the back of his neck heat up.
“We should do this again sometime,” Jun adds, just throwing the suggestion out there like it’s no big deal.
It feels like a pretty fucking big deal to Joshua. He watches as Jun pushes herself upright, his heart beating a stuttered rhythm in his chest.
“Yeah?” he asks, trying to build up his courage as Jun reaches for the coffee mug he set on the floor when he came in. All she’s wearing is a tank top, and one strap slips down her shoulder when she stretches for the cup. Joshua tries not to stare and mostly fails.
“Yeah,” Jun says, oblivious, eyes widening a little at her first sip. “I had fun. Did you ask Minghao how to make this?”
Joshua coughs. His ears feel really hot — he didn’t know ears could even blush. God. He hopes Jun can’t tell.
“I — yeah,” he admits, trying to pull himself back into the moment. “She said you like a lot of sugar.”
“Nice.” Jun beams at him as she says it, and it’s enough to make Joshua force himself to take a deep breath.
“Jun,” he starts, wincing when her eyes widen at his serious tone. He smiles to try to lighten the mood, breathing out a little laugh at his own expense. “I was just, um. I was wondering if you’d maybe want to go out with me? Sometime?”
The thirty seconds Jun spends staring at him, brow wrinkled in confusion, are some of the worst of Joshua’s life, maybe. He’s suddenly extremely aware of the fact that he’s never actually asked someone out before, and therefore he has no experience with rejection. He really doesn’t want this to be his first one, and not just because if Jun says no he’ll have to walk past Minghao wearing yesterday’s boxers.
“I thought we already did that,” Jun says, finally. Joshua’s pulse is roaring so loudly that it takes a second for it to process.
“I mean, like. A real date,” he clarifies, barely able to make himself form the words.
“Is that not what this was?”
Joshua stares at her.
“You asked me to come up because you had something to show me,” he says slowly, confused. “And then you jumped me as soon as we got through the door.”
Jun chokes a little at that, which he wasn’t expecting, and for a moment Joshua is too distracted by the pink in her cheeks to keep going. Her ears are blushing, too, he can’t help noticing. He wonders if he’d be able to feel the heat if he pushed her hair behind her ear, then clocks that he’s being a freak and immediately makes himself stop wondering.
“I want to take you to dinner,” he manages. “Like for real.”
“You already did that too,” Jun says, looking genuinely confused. Joshua’s stomach sinks, the humiliation setting in for real. That’s — well. That’s that, then. Message received.
“Right,” he says, smiling tightly. “I’ll just — ”
“Wait,” Jun says before he can finish standing. Joshua hovers like that for a moment, trapped in a horrible awkward half-crouch, before he slowly lowers himself until he’s sitting again. “What are you — I don’t understand what you’re asking.”
The whole thing is starting to feel like an elaborate joke, a deliberate prank to make Joshua as uncomfortable and humiliated as possible.
But —
But Jun’s eyes are wide as she chews at her lower lip, staring at him like she’s trying to look right through his skull. It seems like she really does want to understand. Joshua realizes, belatedly, that he probably should have let her finish that coffee before he sprung this conversation on her.
“I want to be your boyfriend,” he says, making one final attempt before he gives up for real. He’s close losing his cool completely — his entire face is flushed, red and uncomfortable and humiliating. He thinks he might actually be sweating. “But if you’re not into that it’s cool, Minghao said — ”
“Shut up about Minghao,” Jun says immediately. Joshua shuts up. He doesn’t know how to read the expression on her face — she’s blinking an awful lot. Is that a good sign? Is she going to cry? Fuck. He really hopes she doesn’t cry. “You really — you want that?”
“I mean,” Joshua laugh, helpless. “Yeah.”
“Oh,” Jun says quietly. A smile starts to form at the corner of her mouth, that familiar lightness creeping back into her expression. “I’ve never had a boyfriend before.”
“Oh,” Joshua repeats uselessly, hope starting to bloom in his chest. Jun smiles at him, for real this time, then purposefully rearranges her face into something more serious.
“I don’t know if I’ll be good at it,” she warns, fake-solemn.
“You will,” Joshua says, even though the last ten minutes kind of point to the opposite conclusion. Jun makes a skeptical face in response — clearly that hasn’t escaped her, either. “Or, like. We can figure it out.”
He pauses, thinking of Minghao out in the kitchen. The unimpressed look she gives him when he makes assumptions.
“I mean. If you want to,” he adds hastily. “Is that … something you’d want?”
He tries to breathe normally as Jun considers it — really considers it, an expression of concentration on her face as she thinks it through — but that’s a lost cause. He hasn’t taken a normal breath since he sat down on her bed.
“I think I’ll like it,” Jun says, finally, her expression clearing into something sure. “If it’s you.”
Joshua lets out a long breath as her words sink in. He should say something, he’s pretty sure. Tell her how much he’s looking forward to it (too formal?), or maybe how happy he is (too much?).
He’s too relieved to do anything but laugh.