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Vince and Howard had been going strong for nearly 2 months now, especially ever since that night. Howard couldn’t stop feeling Vince’s hands all over his body, his warm mouth and sweet voice.
He couldn’t stop feeling all of it probably because the two of them weren’t able to keep their hands off each other since. They didn’t just stop at that one night. Every chance they got they would pounce on one another, and the more frequent it became the more acquainted with the others body they got.
Their sex life certainly had little complaints, that’s for sure. Except maybe from Naboo and Bollo.
And yet, Howard had a pit in his stomach.
Their time together was amazing – better than he ever could have hoped for or imagined, but there was a part of him that wasn’t satisfied. A part of him that didn’t feel complete or whole until it got what it needed. And what it needed, was answers.
Answers only Vince could really give him.
Answers Vince probably wouldn’t want to give him.
Answers Howard had to find a way to ask the questions to.
Answers about Garrett.
Garrett was gone, they hadn’t heard from the blonde since that time in the shop, not even a text to Vince. Well, that’s what Vince had said. And it’s not that Howard thought Vince was hiding something from him, or that Vince was going behind his back, of course not. It was more concern that Garrett disappeared too easily. It seemed likely that maybe Garrett had tried to contact Vince but the younger man didn’t want to upset Howard so he didn’t tell him about it and simply deleted the message. Out of sight, out of mind.
But the worst part, was Howard didn’t know much about the man.
All he knew was what he had witnessed first-hand and the pieces he was able to put together himself since Vince hardly talked about him. Vince basically pretended he never happened.
They never even talked about the night Howard came to help him at The Velvet Onion, the night Howard punched Garrett. One time Howard tried to bring it up in a casual manner, something along the lines of “hey check out this bruise I have on my knuckles”, to which Vince simply glanced at his hand, let out a small ‘hmm’ and then continued to change the topic onto whether hermit crabs would need to pay rent to live in the shells they find on the beach.
Vince lived in a world of denial sometimes, if the last few months weren’t evidence enough of that, but that also meant he let things bottle up to the point he starts overflowing with emotions he doesn’t quite know how to handle. Howard had to try to stop that from happening. For both Vince’s sake, and his own.
The two of them were laying in bed together, Vince snuggled up into Howard’s side as the taller man had his long arm draped over the back of Vince’s shoulders, pulling him in tightly to his side and resting his chin on the top of the raven locks. Vince had his eyes closed, but he wasn’t asleep, more just soaking up the scent of Howard and listening to the thud of his heartbeat like it was his own.
“Hey, Vince..” Howard started, wanting to ease into the conversation as best he could.
“Hmm?” Vince hummed back, leaving his eyes closed.
Howard swallowed the lump in his throat, realizing he was suddenly quite nervous for some reason. He ran his fingers soothingly through the dark hair. “Can I ask you a question?”
“You just did.”
“You know what I mean.”
He felt Vince shake against him in a silent chuckle before lifting himself off Howard’s chest so they could look at each other better, clearly sensing from Howard’s tone that this was a somewhat serious conversation, although Howard missed his warmth almost instantly. “Ask away.”
Howard didn’t want to think about it any longer or he would chicken out and continue to avoid the question entirely. “What happened between you and Garrett?”
There was silence.
Vince stared at him with an unreadable expression before raising an eyebrow at Howard’s direction confused. “You know what happened. He was a dick.” He stated simply, as if that was all the answer Howard needed.
Howard sighed, reaching a hand out and placing it over the top of Vince’s on the sheet in a comforting manner, both for him and Vince, and as a small way of trying to ensure Vince didn’t try to literally run away from this conversation. “Yeah, he was. But I mean.. with everything.” He was trying to dance around the topic as much as possible, hoping Vince would just catch his drift without him having to bring up the super uncomfortable questions.
Vince didn’t try to get away yet, which Howard took as a positive, but his body language wasn’t exactly opening up either. “I don’t know what you’re asking me, Howard.”
Okay, plan B.
Howard shift in his position, sitting himself upright to rest his back against the bed rest, causing Vince to do to the same so they could meet eye level with one another. “You don’t talk about him. At all.” Vince simply nodded like that was the answer to the question itself, so Howard continued. “And every time we nearly bring him up you avoid the topic entirely.”
“I still don’t understand the question. Garrett isn’t important in our relationship, Howard.” He could tell by the snappiness of it that Vince was mentally trying to find a way to end this before it even began.
“Well, I guess I just want to know what went on with you two when I wasn’t there, because what I did see wasn’t ideal, so I’m a little concerned about what I didn’t see.” He said honestly. There was only so many scenarios his brain could conjure up before he started having a panic attack and he just wanted to be told he was either wrong, or…
He wasn’t entirely sure what he would do if Vince confirmed any of these theories or scenarios. Maybe hunt Garrett down and kill him. That seemed like the most appropriate outcome.
Vince was biting into his cheek nervously, eyes darting between Howard and down at the bed, which was doing nothing to help ease Howard’s concerns. “It’s not important anymore, Howard.”
“Yes, it is!” He shouted, probably a little louder than necessary and saw Vince flinch a little at the outburst before taking a deep breathe and calming himself down again. “I’m sorry.. But, it’s important to me, Vince. I need to know that he didn’t.. I mean, he never..” He drifted off, not really sure how to finish the sentence, but luckily Vince seemed to have picked up on what he was trying to say.
“Oh- No! Howard, no. He never… forced me to do anything!”
“Oh thank god.” Howard sighed of relief, feeling weeks worth of tension fade out of him, all those horrible scenarios his brain had concocted slipping away. He glanced up at Vince expecting to see him laughing or telling Howard he was an idiot for even thinking that was a possibility, but instead he looked ashamed, embarrassed. Like his brain was ticking, and Howard immediately felt the tension come back. “But?” He dragged out, waiting.
Vince sighed loudly in defeat, knowing Howard would continue to push the topic until he talked. “Well, he never forced me like that, I guess.”
Howard raised an eyebrow at the smaller man, his heartbeat speeding up slightly. “What do you mean?”
Vince took in a deep breathe, preparing himself and Howard mentally thought that this was going much easier than he initially anticipated. He expected much more of a fight if he was honest, maybe a little more back and forth banter before Vince started opening up. But that was how they used to handle things, back when they were both dancing around their feelings for each other and were scared they’d reveal too much of the truth if they didn’t hide behind their defenses and sarcasm. Maybe since they’d finally gotten together Vince felt he didn’t have to hide anymore. “Well.. Okay, for example-” Vince shifted on the bed, rearranging himself so he was sitting upright with his legs crossed, facing Howard, a hint of seriousness in his voice. “Remember that night in the shop, when he punched you?”
“Hard to forget.”
“Yeah, well, he was drunk, clearly, and when we got back to his apartment he-“
“What?” Howard didn’t mean to cut him off, it was clear Vince was going to continue, but he wished he could just skip to the end of the story already instead of waiting these painstakingly long seconds.
“He wanted me to suck him off, right? But I wasn’t in the mood, I mean, he’d just punched my best mate in the face and was acting like a right twat.” Howard remained silent, just nodding along with the story with anxiety as he waited. “But like, he wasn’t rough with me or nothing, more so..” Vince paused, biting into his lip again as he contemplated how best to explain what happened. “He’s real good with words, yeah? And he’d just kind of make me feel guilty or make it feel like I owed him or something, I guess. He’d do that pretty regularly, I think. And that night he made it seem like it was my fault for getting him all worked up and excited, so I had to finish the job.”
Howard swallowed loudly, opting to remain silent in case Vince had more to say. Once Vince started opening up and talking he tended to go on a bit of a rant, unleashing any thought that popped in to his head as his mouth moved faster than his brain, and it was best to just let him go. Plus, this was more information than Howard thought he’d get, he wasn’t about to stop it.
“And I mean, we’d go out together at night and he’d just start fights with anyone who talked to me. I don’t know if it was me he didn’t trust or them, but… Was well embarrassing. I’d always be on edge if he was gonna snap at me for talking with someone.”
Howard thought back to a time when he didn’t think it was possible to hate Garrett anymore than he already did, and he’d love nothing more than to go back to his past self and laugh right in his face for being an idiot. Because turns out he 100% could hate him even more.
Suddenly, Vince’s voice dropped an octave or two, shaking his head softly and letting his soft hair fall in front of his face. “I dunno, I say it out loud and it sounds like nothing..” He mumbled quietly to himself, all that self-doubt creeping back in now he’d let his emotional bottle overflow.
“Vince..” Howard reached out once again, cupping Vince’s strong jawline with his palm and gently lifting the young mans face up to lock eyes with him. “It’s not nothing. That’s manipulation, alright? Garrett’s a dick.” It was Howard’s turn to bite into his lip nervously now. “I’m sorry I never did more.. There were times when I was suspicious, I’d hear how he would talk to you, and I should’ve stepped in and said or done something, and I’m so sorry.”
Vince nuzzled into the touch, feeling the thumb from Howard’s hand caressing and stroking his cheek and he smiled softly at the older man. “Don’t be ridiculous. We both know I would’ve told you to piss off if you tried to step in, anyway.” He chuckled, lightening the mood somewhat. “I’m stubborn like that.”
“Oh, you think?” Howard smirked back, leaving his hand on Vince’s cheek to pull the man closer to him, meeting him halfway and touching their lips together in a soft kiss, one not of desire or lust, but comfort. A silent message between two souls that everything will be fine.
As they pulled away, Vince pressed his forehead to Howard’s, just trying to stay as close to the other man as he could for as long as possible. “Thanks Howard. I guess I was trying to avoid admitting all that out loud, cause then I’d be admitting it to myself, in a way.”
“You never have to do anything you don’t want to do with me, okay little man?” He whispered soothingly, to which Vince simply hummed and nodded. “Thank you for telling me, though. I just needed to know.”
“I know. You tend to get stuck in your head sometimes, who knows what images you were thinking up!” They pulled back now so Vince could laugh at him, which Howard returned the favor in agreement.
“Trust me, they weren’t pretty. You’d forgotten to shave for a week in one of them, had a little scruff growing over your face.” In a snap Howard reached forward and grabbed Vince’s shoulder, throwing him playfully down onto the bed on his back so Howard could lay them chest to chest, his own body weight laying on top of Vince’s smaller frame, but not enough to crush him, just enough to feel closer to him.
Vince let out a small yelp of shock at the movement, giggling up at Howard in fake distress. And just like that the atmosphere in the room shifted once more. The lightheartedness in the air returning, and they were everything that they thought they were going to lose when this had started.
Vince and Howard. Howard and Vince. Best mates. Lovers.
The future wasn’t set in stone. Anything could happen. Garrett could come back, Vince might change his mind, a 7ft caterpillar could crawl in through the window at any moment. All they knew was right then and there, they had each other and they’d figure it all out as they went.