Chapter Text
By the end of the evening Jemma was tired, but also very certain that this wedding had been an unparalleled success. The cake had been delivered in the nick of time, the caterer had gone above and beyond, and the band was absolutely divine. She’d have to add them to her list of go-to options for the future.
The future.
Her whole life Jemma had been certain she’d known exactly what she wanted. She wanted to change the world, do research that mattered, be independent and forge her own path. Now, she wasn’t even sure what that meant anymore. Was there something less valuable about wedding planning than biomedical research? Perhaps in the number of people she could impact with her work, but all of their clients had always been very satisfied with her services. So it was hard to say that this work didn’t matter. And while she’d always pictured having her own place and showing the world she didn’t need to depend on anyone else, now she couldn’t imagine her life without Fitz in it.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
Almost as if she’d conjured him up just by thinking about him, Fitz appeared at her side. Normally she didn’t keep anything from him, but she wasn’t sure these were thoughts she wanted to share. How did you tell your best friend you might have accidentally fallen in love with him?
“Oh, nothing important.”
Fitz looked at her and she forced her breathing to stay even.
“You’re a terrible liar.”
“I am not.” Her protest was a little half-hearted, but she felt like she needed to make it anyway. She hated not being the best.
“You are. But that’s not why I came over here.”
Jemma looked around searching for any sort of disturbance that needed her attention. “Is there a problem? I thought everything was under control.”
“It is. I just wondered...well, I thought you might want to dance.”
“You hate dancing,” she pointed out.
“Yeah, but you don’t. And you look so nice --”
“Do I? I thought I might look a little strange all dressed up like this.”
“Of course you do.” He was looking at her intently. A little too intently and she looked down to smooth her dress. “So do you want to? Dance I mean?”
Dancing wasn’t something they did together, but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t like she was going to say no. Not when she had the chance to be in his arms just this once.
“I’d love to.”
Their dance had been wonderful and Jemma had practically been floating on a cloud that night as they sent the bride and groom off to their new life and all the way to the next morning. Fitz’s hands had been warm on her waist and they had been closer than they normally were -- except for when they were working in the lab. There had even been a moment when she thought he might kiss her. But then the song came to an end and they were swept into a hug by Daisy. She’d tried to catch his eye again, but clearly the moment had passed.
But in the light of day, things weren’t so rosy. It was Sunday so she had the whole day free to plan for the upcoming week, do chores, and relax. Normally, it was also the day where she spent some unstructured time with Fitz just talking or watching movies. But he’d been gone when she woke up, and didn’t return until she was tied up with her weekly call home to her parents. Since he’d immediately disappeared into his room it didn’t seem like he wanted her company, which stung a little. Maybe she had imagined the looks between them and how natural it felt to dance so close together. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to kiss her at all and she had made things terribly awkward
Somehow this was all much worse. A few months ago she had been prepared to let him go, for them to both pursue their own careers in different labs. Maybe even different cities. But losing him because she’d imagined he felt something more for her. That would hurt too much. She had to fix this. She just didn’t know how.
She didn’t get a chance to talk to him until the next evening after their classes. They always got dinner and worked on wedding details on the evenings they didn’t have meetings, so Jemma carefully planned out the best way to approach him. The first step was food. Fitz always thought better on a full stomach.
Jemma had ordered from the Italian restaurant down the street. The portions were huge, but that just meant she’d have leftovers tomorrow. The next step was to set the mood. She opted for the light from the lamps rather than the harsher overhead lighting. They'd done that often in the past, though now was the first time she was noticing how romantic it was.
“What’s this?” Fitz had somehow come home without her noticing. “Is it a special occasion? Did you finish your dissertation defense?”
“Oh, no. Nothing like that.” Jemma tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, feeling more self-conscious than usual. “I just thought you might want some spag bol while we worked tonight.”
He didn’t answer right away and her resolve to talk to him about her feelings wavered a bit. Maybe they weren’t ready for this after all.
“Thanks Jemma.”
The way he said her name, low and intense, sent that unfamiliar heat racing through her again. It was confusing and at the same time it all made perfect sense.
“Fitz --”
“I actually have to go...uh, out.”
“What?” Jemma shook her head, feeling like she’d been doused in cold water. “But we always work on Monday nights.”
They didn’t really have much to do right now. The Rodriguez-Mackenzie wedding was coming together nicely. But that wasn’t the point. The point was that they always spent Monday evening together, no matter what else was happening.
She felt angry. And hurt. And probably a little jealous.
“I’ll just pop this in the fridge. Save it for later.”
And then he was gone. It wasn’t until much later that she realized he hadn’t actually told her where he was going. And in case it was a date he was rushing out for, she kept herself from asking.
After that night things between them changed. If she were being honest, it had probably been a few days before -- the day of Daisy’s wedding -- when something between them had become broken. She’d never thought something like this would come between them, especially when she wasn’t even sure what it was. Maybe he did still have feelings for Daisy and seeing her get married had upset him. But whatever it was, Jemma wasn’t sure how long they could go on like this. Working and living together had always been so easy, but now it was just awkward. They tiptoed around each other in the mornings, altering their schedules so they didn’t have too many meetings in the hallway which inevitably devolved into polite smalltalk. Luckily they’d both finished their dissertations and Jemma had already defended hers.
All that was left to do was to apply for jobs and start the rest of their lives. She knew she should really focus her efforts on that, but it felt too much like a breakup. Once she was offered a job she knew she’d have to take it. Her student loans wouldn’t pay themselves. But that felt way too final.
She had to at least try to fix whatever was wrong first.
“We’re ready for the happy couple,” Fitz said in her ear. Jemma turned to Mack and Elena, ready to send them into their reception for their first introduction as a married couple, and instead found them gazing into each other’s eyes, speaking in low voices.
It was such an intimate moment that Jemma looked away, not wanting to intrude. But then she looked back. What she really liked about this job was the constant reminder that love was real and all around her. People found it all the time. Maybe it wasn’t there for her and Fitz, but that didn’t mean there wouldn’t be another time or someone else.
She cleared her throat to get their attention, pasting a smile on her face. It wasn’t even close to a real smile, but she doubted they’d notice. “Time to go in.”
After they went inside she pulled out her earpiece. She didn’t have any responsibilities until it was time to cut the cake and she needed a few minutes to herself.
This was the last wedding they had to plan. Somehow they’d both decided not to book any more consultations, so if there was a perfect moment for them to dissolve their partnership this was it. She had several promising applications submitted and was hoping to hear back any day now. Fitz would be defending his dissertation next week and then… Well, whatever came next, hopefully the awkwardness between them would fade over time and they could go back to being friends.
Jemma let her thoughts run wild, considering all of the questions she’d been trying to stop herself from thinking about and before she knew it she heard Fitz calling her name.
“Jemma! There you are.” He came up to her, face slightly flushed. “I was worried about you.”
“I was just taking a quick break.”
“I’ve been trying to reach you for the last 20 minutes. There was a...wardrobe malfunction.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I was just thinking. Who needs help?”
“I took care of it.” He smiled at her, that small smile she hadn’t seen from him these last few weeks. “After all these years I think I can be trusted to handle a small problem like that all on my own.”
“Of course you can. I just thought since you were trying to find me…”
“About that. We need to talk.” He held out his hands and she reached for them without thinking.
“Alright,” she said hesitantly. Of course she knew they needed to talk, she just hadn’t been expecting him to be the one to start the conversation. And his hands around hers were making it hard to concentrate.
“I know things have been awkward these last few weeks, and that’s my fault. I didn’t --”
“I never meant for you to feel uncomfortable --”
“--think I could keep doing this.”
“I know and I’m sorry.”
“Not when you don’t feel the same way.”
“What?”
“I can’t keep pretending when you don’t feel the same way. It’s too hard.”
“Fitz, I don’t understand. You’re my best friend in the whole world and I don’t want to lose you.”
“I know, Jemma.” He looked so sad, and it broke her heart a little bit to think that they’d somehow ended up here. But at the same time as she analyzed his words she started to feel a little bit of hope. “But somewhere along the way I realized you’re more than that.”
Jemma was stunned into silence, for once not knowing what to say to him. It was everything she wanted and she was more nervous about messing things up than she wanted to admit.
“I can’t work with you and live with you and spend all my time thinking about you and not want more.” Fitz scratched at his cheek, clearly embarrassed by his outburst, but it just made Jemma smile. She knew him. She knew his moods and his habits, and in that moment she knew without a shadow of a doubt that she wanted whatever more he was willing to give her. “You don’t have to say anything. I just thought you should know before --”
She didn’t wait for him to finish. Instead she moved in close, placing her hands on his cheeks until he was looking into her eyes. And then she kissed him.
It wasn’t a magical first kiss like in a fairy tale, but it was slow and sweet. And perfect.
When she finally pulled back, just enough to rest her forehead against his, he was smiling at her.
“I don’t think we’ve just been friends in a long time. Maybe not ever.”
“Is that so?”
“Of course. I think I should have realized sooner that you were my favorite person in the whole world and I never wanted to be without you.” He leaned forward and claimed her lips again, deepening the kiss this time.
“So what does this mean for us? I know you’ve been applying to jobs all over. And I think you should,” he hastened to add.
“I -- I’m not sure. All I know is I love you and if you love me, then we can figure this out together.”
“Of course I love you Jemma. I think I’ve loved you from the first moment we met.”
Jemma raised her eyebrows, very clearly remembering the competition that had developed between them when they first met.
“Well, maybe not the first moment. But sometime after I realized you didn’t actually hate me.”
“I could never hate you.”
They stood there, staring into each other’s eyes, until music spilled out into the hallway.
“I guess we should get back to work,” Jemma finally said. “But we’ll pick up here tonight.”
She gave him one last quick kiss to his lips before putting her earpiece back in. They still had work to do.
But it would all be alright. Because together they were unstoppable.