Chapter Text
Teddy and Amelia were talking at the nurse’s station outside of Lane’s room when Maya approached them.
“What’s wrong with him?”
“We’re still figuring that out.” Teddy explained. “When we have all the results back, we’ll know more.”
“How is he?” Maya asked. She could see the surprise on their faces that she’d even ask.
“He’s okay. Tell me he doesn’t feel pain so refused any pain relief.”
“Embrace the pain.” Maya said looking at the closed door knowing she had to go inside.
“Do you want to go in there alone? Or have someone in there with you. He can have one my interns checking his vitals”.
“I should do it alone. He’ll hold himself back if he has an audience.”
Maya said walking into the room before either doctor could stop her.
“I hate what he does to her.” Andy told the doctors stood beside her.
“She’s so resigned to it as well.”
“She’s incredibly brave.” Teddy commented noticing that Maya hadn’t closed the door all the way. It wasn’t latched. So she stood nearby, ready to intervene if needed.
Maya made her way back into the room silently, barely looking at her father.
“Well if it isn’t the disappointment. Where’s your body guards?” Lane sneered. He felt terrible, but when Teddy had offered him pain meds it only infuriated him further. He wasn’t weak.
“I don’t need bodyguards.” She hated the way he spoke to her.
“That’s not what I saw. This doctor chasing you out of here like some weak little kid.”
“Everyone is entitled to their opinion.” She tried desperately to keep her cool.
“You’re just like your brother. Weak and pathetic. Can’t handle what life has to offer so you need other people to coddle you.” Lane sat up further in the bed hating he was bed ridden but seeing Maya’s resolve starting to crumble.
Maya said nothing, shrinking back into the chair in the corner. She needed to let him do this, so her mother didn’t suffer later.
“You can’t even face me. Where is the kid I raised? Huh? Answer me.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“I want you to explain what happened to you?”
“I live my own life free form you, and it’s awesome.”
“You got demoted. You failed at your job so much that they took it from you and gave it to someone else. That’s awesome?”
“I married the love of my life. Nothing is better than that.”
“Oh that’s right. Love.” Lane spat the word as if she’d spoke a curse word at him. “I suppose I should know about this daughter in law of mine.”
“You’re not worthy of her awesomeness.”
“Not worthy? You married this woman because you couldn’t get a man and I’m not worthy? Tell me you at least know how to keep her in line.”
“Your comments make me sick.” she spat, she couldn’t keep listening to this.
“You can’t even do that. Can’t even keep your woman in line? She’s probably the one who made you weak isn’t she?”
Maya was desperate to run, stop listening to this but she felt like she felt like she was frozen to the seat.
“Probably thought she could change you. She killed your drive, made you complacent and fine with being mediocre.”
“You know what?” She stood up. “I actually feel sorry for you. You've never known what it’s like to experience the real joys in life. You’re pathetic.”
“Ooh look at you, you think you have a backbone. I built that backbone. You don’t get to talk to me like that.” Lane knew that he couldn’t stop Maya from leaving physically and he was sensing that his influence on her was fading. It made him angrier.
“I can talk to you whatever the hell I want to” she raised her voice to match his.
“Brave now because I’m stuck in this bed. Wait until I’m not.”
“Is that a threat?” Maya felt almost amused, feeling herself feel stronger.
“I don’t have to threaten you. You know what I’m capable of.” Lane smile knowing Maya remembered. “Or what you’re capable of. Maya, you’re just like me. We’re two of a kind. You think you’re like everyone else? You’re not. You’re hungry for greatness and won’t be satisfied until you get it. That drive, that want will never be satisfied by something as meaningless as love.”
“I’m nothing like you. You’re a low life. Worse than the dirt on my shoe.”
His retort was cut short by a coughing fit that ended with blood spewing across his bed and pain searing through his abdomen.
“Can we get a little help in here?” Maya yelled into the corridor.
Teddy came through the door quickly with her horde of interns following closely.
“Mr. Bishop, we’re going to need to take you to surgery to see what’s causing this. Do you understand?” Teddy asked as he continued to cough and choke. She didn’t wait for a reply before they were wheeling him out. “Page Pierce see if she can take this one.” Teddy didn’t think that she could be impartial enough to operate.
Maya watched them wheeling him out, feeling nothing but numb. No concern, no fear, nothing. She was ashamed to admit she was glad to see him go.
“She okay?” Amelia asked seeing how rigid Maya was standing. How glazed over her eyes were.
“She’s fine.” Andy said trusting Maya knew what she was doing.
“How long will he be gone?” Maya asked, walking towards Amelia and Andy.
“Depends on what’s causing the blood. Could be a few hours.” Amelia guessed
.
“Okay.” There was no emotion in her words, she didn’t even feel like she cared that much. “My wife still in surgery?”
“I can check. But shows be getting out soon. I think it was pretty routine.” Amelia didn’t like that Maya couldn’t even say Carina’s name.
“It’s okay, I’m sure she’ll have stuff to do. I’ll be fine.”
“You want to see her?” Andy asked remembering how adamant Maya had been earlier she didn’t want to be anywhere near Carina.
“I..l Maya shrugged. “I...don’t know.” Part of her desperately wanted to be with her wife.
“I’ll go check and see where she’s at.” Amelia said leaving the two friends.
------
“You know he’s full of shit right?” Andy asked letting Maya know that they’d heard. Hell most of the floor had heard it with how they’d been yelling.
“Mhm” Maya shrugged her shoulders, her stare blank.
“Maya, come back from wherever you are.” Andy encouraged seeing this side of her friend was terrifying. It was like Maya wasn’t even there.
Maya couldn’t even explain how she felt or what she needed. “I’m here, I’m fine. Full of shit right?”
“As long as you actually believe that.” Andy reached out to place her hand on Maya’s shoulder wondering if physical touch would bring Maya back.
Maya tensed when she felt a hand on her shoulder, snapping her head round to see it was only Andy. “Sure.”
“Okay. Wanna get out of here?”
“Yes please” she focused on Andy’s voice, all she had to do was just put one foot in front of the other. She could do that.
“Let’s get outta here. We can go to Joe’s.” Andy said. It was close enough they could come back if needed but it was far enough away for Maya to start coming back.
“I could do with a drink.” She agreed, following behind Andy.
------
Joe’s was thankful pretty empty when they arrived. It was a weekday so there wouldn’t be too big of a crowd.
“Your usual?” Andy asked heading to the bar.
“Yes please, but I’ll take two.” She needed to forget everything for a bit.
Andy returned to the table with a double whiskey for Maya and set it on the table. And she waited. Maya would talk when she was ready.
“Thanks.” She downed the whole thing in two sips, the whiskey burning her throat as it went down.
“Okaaay. Maybe we should slow down?” Andy waved for Joe to get them another round as she passed Maya her own glass.
“I’m good. I don’t have to drive anywhere.” She dismissed.
“Yeah but do you want to get drunk if you have to go back?” Andy asked sipping her new drink.
“Would probably help” she knew it wasn’t wise, but she wasn’t sure she cared.
“It might. I’ll keep the tab open.” Andy knew Maya didn’t get drunk often. She drank but always with meticulous control. But if Maya wanted to get completely trashed she could support that.
“I’ll see.” She knew getting wasted was not the best idea.
“Whatever you need Maya. You can talk or not talk.”
“I just..how can someone hate their own child so much?”
“I don’t know. I wish I knew.”
“Was i really so awful?”
“No! Maya you are not awful at all. What he did to you, that’s on him. He’s the broken one. You are the most caring, loyal friend I’ve ever had. The fact that you survived growing up with him, speaks to your strength.”
“That’s really kind of you to say Andy. Carina tells me the same.”
“Maybe you should listen to us?” Andy suggested.
“I really should..” she agreed, her head falling into her hands.
“Hey, it’s not easy okay. It’s a process:” Andy moved around the table and wrapped her arms around Maya.
“I love you..” she leaned her head against Andy’s shoulder.
“I love you too.” Andy knew how big of a deal it was for Maya to say that. She wasn’t sure how much of it was the alcohol.
“You’re like the sister I never had.”
“It’s you and me forever. I have your back.” Andy promised.
“And I have yours. Forever.”
“So, let’s just say fuck your dad. And he can deal with his own shit. He’s not your responsibility or your problem.”
“Fuck him” she agreed, holding up another drink. “He can be someone else’s problem.”
Andy heard the door opened and saw Carina walk in looking for Maya. Sliding off her chair Andy stopped the brunette.
“It’s not a good time.” Andy said quietly.
“Carina?” Maya looked up. “I thought you had a surgery.”
“We finished. Andy, let me pass.” Carina said trying to move around her but finding that Andy blocked her each time.
“Maya?” Andy asked before letting Carina through.
“Just let her come..I’m gonna have to talk to her sooner or later..” Maya sighed, downing the last way shot of whiskey that was on the table in front of her.
“Bella…” Carina said as she sat down.
Maya stared hard the empty glass in her hand. Knowing she’s break the second she met her eyes.
Carina wanted to ask Maya to look at her but she didn’t want to force Maya. Maya needed to do this at her own pace.
“Do you want another drink?” Carina offered.
Maya shook her head. “Maybe just some water.” she groaned.
“Can I take you home?”
“Yes please.” She knew she needed to talk to Carina, but home would be better.
“Come on.”
Maya got up, picking up her jacket as she stood, her legs feeling a little more jelly like that she was used to.
Carina reached out for Maya, helping steady her as they left the bar and made their way to her car. Concerned for her wife having not remembered ever seeing Maya drunk before.
“Do you have your car? Are we taking Andy too? We can’t leave her, she’s my sister. You don’t leave family behind.”
“We’re not leaving Andy behind Bella. She has her car she’s going to follow us.” Carina reassured.
“Okay. Drive safe Andy, I love you” she pulled her friend into an unexpected hug.
Andy hugged Maya back tightly looking over Maya’s shoulder at Carina allowing them to share a look.
“Don’t be long, I’ll be worried.” she followed Carina to her car.
“I won’t be. I’ll be right behind you.” Andy promised.
“Maya do you want to ride with Andy?” Carina asked doing a terrible job at hiding the hurt she felt at Maya’s sudden affection for Andy and coldness towards herself.
“No, I’ll ride with you. You’re my wife” She told Carina, already half in the car.
“I think she’s just drunk. She doesn’t mean it.” Andy said trying to be comforting.
“Are we going or what?” she called, winding down her window.
“Yes, we’re going.” Carina said getting in the car to start their drive home.
Maya fell asleep on the short ride home, which was most unlike her, the alcohol alien to her system.
Carina drove quickly, eager to get Maya into bed so the blonde could rest properly. She knew this hadn’t been an easy day and from what she had heard from Amelia, Lane had been a new level of cruel for Maya.
“I don’t wanna get out the car” Maya moaned sleepily as they got home. “Can I just sleep here?”
“No Bella. It won’t be comfortable. Let me help you.” Carina said making her way to Maya’s side of the car and opening the door.
Maya stumbled out of the car, allowing Carina to help her out ready to head inside. “You’re too good to me. I don’t deserve you.”
“You deserve the best bella. Come on let’s go inside.” Carina said supporting more of Maya’s weight as they walked.
“I don’t. I’m a failure, I’m weak..” she mumbled, her dad’s words ringing in her ears.
“No. Maya you are none of those things. You are not a failure, and are very strong.” Carina reassured hugging Maya tightly to her.
Maya shook her head, tears in her eyes. “I’m pathetic. I need other people to coddle me, I can’t do it on my own.” She could feel herself getting more upset. Stupid alcohol.
“You are not pathetic. You look out for everyone around you. You take care of me all the time.” Carina said stopping them outside their front door and making Maya look at her.
Maya shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut as she remembered more of what her father had said to her. “I’m not, I'm nothing.”
“Maya look at me. Eyes on me. Only on me.” Carina insisted waiting for Maya’s eyes to open.
Maya shook her head, unable to bring herself to open her eyes. She felt too ashamed.
“Please bambina, look at me. Let me see those beautiful eyes.” Carina cooed her hands on Maya’s cheek.
Maya opened her tear filled eyes slowly, meeting Carina’s worried stare in front of her.
“There you are bella. I love you.” Carina said softly.
“Even though I’m pathetic?”
“You are not pathetic.”
“You didn’t hear him.. he said.. a lot.” She turned her head away, the shame burning her cheeks.
“And none of it is true. He is a sick, cruel old man.” Carina said opening their apartment door.
“He hates me.” Maya sighed, clearly defeated.
“He doesn’t deserve to know you. You are a thousand times better than he ever will be.” Carina insisted guiding Maya to their room.
“Is it bedtime already?” She pouted, sitting heavily down in the bed. “I don’t want to sleep.”
“We don’t have to sleep. I just want you to lay down. I’ll go get you some water.” Carina offered. Maya was kind of cute when she was this drunk.
“Don’t need water.” She moaned, reaching for Carina.
“You do. Or tomorrow morning is going to be very painful.” Carina said though she was stopped when Maya wrapped her arms around her waist.
“Later..right now I just wanna hug you.”
“Okay.” Carina ran her hand through Maya’s hair while Maya laid her head against her stomach.
“Are you mad at me cos I wouldn’t see you earlier?” Maya asked as she relaxed into Carina’s touch.
“No I’m not mad. Concerned because I love you. But not mad.” Carina promised.
“I didn’t mean it” she mused, hugging Carina tighter. “You mean everything to me, I am nothing without you, despite what my father says.”
“Shh I know you didn’t mean it.” Carina soothed. “You’re the light of my life Maya.”
“And you’re mine” Maya sniffled.
“Let me get you some water bella. Then we can lay in bed okay?” Carina really didn’t want Maya going to sleep without drinking some water otherwise her hangover would be intense.
“Okaaaayyy, but no sleeping cos I’m not tired.”
“No sleeping. Promise.” Carina returned quickly with a few bottles of water and saw Maya hadn’t moved.
“You’re back?”
“I’m back.” Carina confirmed starting to remove her clothes to prepare for bed.
“Why are you getting naked? Do you want to have sex with me because I’m so beautiful?”
“I always want to have sex with you. But, I am changing into comfortable clothes so I can lay with you.” Carina laughed. Maya had moved into the adorable stage of intoxication.
“Nooo, sex is much more fun than laying with me” she pouted.
“Maya, I do not know if you are in the right mindset for sex.”
“What? Why?” She pouted.
“Because you’re drunk. And you are upset.”
“Who says I’m upset? Did they tell you stuff at the hospital?”
“They didn’t tell me anything. But in all the time I have known you, I’ve never known you to get drunk. We do not need to talk about it until you’re ready.” Carina said curiosity burning but she wasn’t going to push. Instead she would take advantage of Maya allowing her to hold her.
Stepping closer to the bed Carina wrapped her arms around Maya again looking down into Maya’s blue eyes.
Maya found herself breathing harder through her nose as she fought to contain her tears, her lip trembling.
Running her fingers through Maya’s short hair, nails dragging along her scalp Carina was silent. Letting Maya take whatever comfort she could give.
“He..he said a lot..” she confessed.
“None of it was true.” Carina insisted. She didn’t need to know what was said to know that was true.
“You don’t know.” She mumbled, burying her face in Carina’s shirt.
“Do want to tell me?”
“He said I was weak because I don’t ‘keep you inline.’ Even him saying that made me feel sick, our relationship is not like that. You know I’d never be like that right?”
“I know you wouldn’t. I have no doubt of that. You are not your father.”
“He’s says we’re the same..” she cried. “Two of a kind he said.”
“Bambina, look at me please?” Carina requested. She didn’t wart to tell Maya what to do when she was so vulnerable.
Maya looked up at Carina with glassy eyes.
“You are nothing like your father. I know you would never try and make me fall in line. You love me as I am. You are patient and kind even when I am passionate and crazy.” Carina said her heart aching for her wife.
“That’s because I love you. You’re everything to me.”
“Now does that sound like your father?” Carina challenged lightly.
Maya shook her head. “I didn’t know what love was.”
“We discovered it together. I love you Maya.”
“I love you too.” She missed Carina’s belly, the only exposed skin she could reach.
Laughing softly Carina bent down and pressed a gentle kiss to Maya’s lips.
“I love you.” Maya needed Carina to know that, telling her again.
“I love you too.” Carina said her smile soft. As long as they had eachother, they would be okay.