Chapter Text
The second movement of Beethoven’s Pathétique Sonata— Adagio Cantabile.
A piece that Rinko had always sought so she could find comfort and serenity whenever sadness dawned her days. Pathetic— the piece is called, however, not once that Rinko felt such emotions of despair and pity while listening or playing the piece. Rather, she was entranced by a myriad of melodies evoking peacefulness that one can unearth from heartache.
Yet at this moment, as she played the piece that provided her a safe haven, Rinko learned that it had become much more than that. Now, it gave her luminescence… a radiant hope for better days— that the journey of going through scathing pain, eventually concludes with resolve, as long as she believes that all will be alright in time.
“You still have not changed.”
In a heartbeat, Rinko immediately bolted out of the piano seat. She was only supposed to recheck the rehearsal room they rented before she leaves CiRCLE, although it seemed like she took advantage of her spare time more than she should have.
But that voice… she exactly knew who it was that she cannot help herself but feel like she had been frozen in place again.
“R-... Yashio-san..? What brings you here?”
“Morfonica will be using this room during the next time slot. I suppose I arrived earlier than our scheduled meeting time.”
“I see…”
Unsettling silence filled the room. Rinko almost did not manage to meet the younger girl in the eye. What a familiar feeling, she thought. It was the exact restlessness that she felt when she was introduced to Rui around a decade ago. How ironic… and comfortingly familiar it must be.
“Have… have you been watching me play earlier?”
“Yes. It was a spectacular performance, yet your personal touch and interpretation became more evident in some measures. Just like before, it was one of those occurrences where you seem to wander deep within your thoughts.”
Just like before. The phrase echoed in her mind because Rui was right. Her performance earlier was an instance where her emotions and unspoken truths seep through her music. Maybe some things really do not change, but she and Rui… they are not the same people from the past, and not those same musicians anymore.
“As I’ve told you before, I did not expect for you to be a part of a band. Thus, witnessing you deliver a classical piece after gaining that knowledge is quite an event. I am rather impressed that your skills remained polished. If you may, I suggest that you must take your le-”
“Wait-”
“Is there anything else that you would like to say? Hm… perhaps we have ample time before Morfonica arrives if you would have to discuss a few matters.”
“Yashio-san… why did you quit playing the violin? Were you ever able to discover what a duet means to you?”
“Rui-chan, what is a duet to you?”
“A duet… to me?”
It is that same question from the past that struck a chord within Rui once again. Though this time, the violinist did not falter. Instead, she approached Rinko and sat on the seat in front of the piano that was supposed to be for the pianist girl. To the older girl’s surprise, the violinist began playing a simplified melody of the sonata by memory. As Rui’s hand delicately played the notes in treble, Rinko watched her intently, waiting for her to speak.
“All my life, I played by the rules and did what was expected of me. I believed in no one, not even myself because logic and technicalities are what matter the most in gaining achievement. However, despite all the efforts I exerted, I never received any winning awards that would at least recognize and validate my work and standing as a musician. It was a waste of time to dedicate myself to something like that. Eventually, I just kept failing to meet my own goals, and that disappointed me.
“Five years of my time as a violinist was spent standing by your side as your partner. I witnessed you receive the acknowledgment and wins you rightfully deserve. Day by day, you became the outstanding musician that I aspired to be, and I had come to a realization that you are far more exceptional than I will ever become.”
Rui stopped playing her short and simple version of the sonata. For a moment, she went quiet, giving Rinko the chance to process and comprehend her deepest truths. After a few more seconds, she finally looked up to her and met the pianist’s eyes.
“I accepted the reality that I will never be like you. But in all the years I took the stage with you as a duet, I learned to believe— I learned to believe in you, Shirokane-san.”
“Yashio-san…”
“However, when I discovered that you did not participate and associate yourself with competitions after quitting, I grew disappointed in you. You had the prowess to achieve the things that I was never able to do myself yet they were put to waste when you made that decision. But after watching you as Roselia’s keyboardist and discovering that you recently participated and won in a competition, I was enlightened. You still have not changed, Shirokane-san, but I can discern that you grew wiser. I am impressed.”
The violinist finally finished saying her piece, leaving Rinko speechlessly dazed. She had been looking forward to the day that she and Rui would reconcile yet right now, she could not even figure out what to feel or think or say next. She never knew that Rui thought of her that way, and knowing how that is the truth makes her feel honored and grateful that her being the violinist’s partner did not become in vain.
Once she managed to regain her composure, Rinko decided to sit beside Rui in front of the piano. Earlier, when the younger girl revealed her story, all she wanted to do was comfort Rui with her embrace and become the shoulder that she can cry and lean on, just as how she should have done years ago. But knowing Rui, and considering all the things they have been through, perhaps it is not the best thing to do at the moment, though with small and simple steps, hopefully, they would be able to move forward together.
“I… I was disappointed in myself too, so I completely understand why you thought of me that way because… I swore to be brilliant and extraordinary so that you would have a partner that will lead you to new horizons; I swore that I would stand by your side no matter what; and I swore, as your partner and friend, that I would help you in finding what a duet is to you. But I broke that promise, Yashio-san, and I am truly, deeply sorry for leaving you behind… for not being brave enough.
“Being betrayed and disappointed by me, by your principles and beliefs, when all you did was entrusting yourself to the hands of the things you believed in… I sympathize with that sentiment. The incident from my infamous competition made me feel hurt and afraid of music. I became hesitant of playing for others, even for myself, because I was scared to be shunned and disappointed by the thing I loved the most once again.
“But you know what, Yashio-san? It was also music and my piano that led me back to the right path. Because of Roselia, I was reminded of the reasons why I played the piano, and I found the happiness I never thought I’ll have again with music. Because of Roselia, I gained the confidence and courage to face my worries… and that led me in crossing paths with you again, Yashio-san.”
Rinko rested her hands on the ivory and ebony keys of the piano as Rui gave her more space to play. The pianist began playing a tune that is very familiar to the younger girl, and the moment she started with the verse, Rui exactly knew what piece… song, to be exact, that her childhood friend she ardently respects is playing.
It was Morfonica’s song, Sonorous.
“When I watched you perform with Morfonica at Tsukinomori’s Music Festival, I could tell that you were leading them with your sound. I thought that hearing you play the violin again would already be enough, but I was wrong. Seeing you with Morfonica has brought me so much joy and it was definitely more than what I asked for you to have. You were guiding each other towards a goal, a world that only you girls could create and obtain.
“Perhaps you did not notice, but your violin from performing Sonorous reminded me of your sound from when we were children. At that moment, I could tell how much Morfonica must mean to you…”
The pianist concluded her short performance with the cadence of the song’s last chorus. As she looked up, she found Rui watching her with the same reverence that she had when they were young. So, when their eyes met, Rinko gave her a soft smile, blissfulness radiating from her. After a moment, she left her seat and faced Rui once again, but this time, she took the violinist’s hand and sheltered it in hers, hoping to provide her a warm comfort along with the words she’s about to say.
“You may have not found the answer to the question I promised to solve with you in the past, but I am beyond grateful that you found something even more meaningful. It may be too soon for you to realize but Yashio-san... I think you found a new home— a family, and I am greatly content with that.”
The room was filled with silence again, although this time, it was comfortable and tranquil. Rui was quiet, but she did not let her hand escape from Rinko’s touch, and to the pianist, that was more than enough.
“Yes, it is true that I have gained profound experiences upon being Morfonica’s violinist. But you are wrong about one thing, Shirokane-san.”
Rinko felt her heart drop to her stomach. Maybe things did change drastically between them, maybe she could not return to how they once were. As she saw Rui reach for her violin case and slowly approach the door to the exit, Rinko felt her world tremble. However, before Rui reached the door, she looked back and faced the pianist again.
“You said that I never got to discover what a duet means to me because you left. You were wrong about that, Shirokane-san, because the answer has been in front of me all along.
“It may not be as abstract as your reasoning, but to me, a duet is where I am able to test my skills and challenge the musician that I am at that moment. In that way, with the guidance of my partner, I could further improve and harness my abilities.”
“Towards unreachable heights…”
“If that is how you interpret it, then yes, Shirokane-san.”
All this time, the relationship and connection they built together with music have never been in vain. Some parts of themselves remained the same, aspects of who they are that connect them to the past that served as a turning point of their lives. Yet for the better, they have also grown into braver, prouder, and marvelous musicians possessing unique sounds that have been more refined.
They can never return to how things were, but they can always take the first bold stroke together in moving forward to a new chapter of their shared story of duets. As long as it is them who will stand and conquer the stage with their glorious music, they can carve their own paths to the distant sky of unreachable heights and impossible goals again.
“It was pleasant hearing you play again, Shirokane-san. Unfortunately, I have to take my leave now. Kirigaya-san just sent me a message to meet m-”
“Wait..!”
“Is something the matter, Shirokane-san?”
“Yashio-san... If time permits, I would like to rehearse a piece that we can play as a duet. It’s Beethoven’s Kreutzer, and I think that it is aligned with our skills and standards.”
“Kreutzer? A bold choice, I suppose… If my memory serves me right, I am available next Saturday. Perhaps we could meet up at the antique bookshop that you were very fond of as well if we have adequate time before rehearsing here at CiRCLE. Will that work for you, Shirokane-san?”
“Yes, I would love that.”
“I will see you next week then, Shirokane-san. Thank you.”
“Thank you for today as well…”
Upon bidding each other farewell, Rui finally made her way out of the rehearsal room, leaving Rinko standing at the center of the room. After such a long time, she finally felt her heart settle with ease, assuming that the violinist must have achieved an astute resolution within her mind as well.
At last, Rinko gathered her belongings, finally walking out of the room with certainty and clarity, and into a future and world that she and Rui will create again with their harmonious music.
“Thank you for today… Rui,” she whispered to herself, finally opening the door that will lead her to a new reality that she now shares with her most cherished childhood friend.