Chapter Text
Meeting up wasn’t in the initial plans, really. But once it was brought up, it was pretty much all RJ wanted.
RJ worked hard on his smile and laugh and ability to talk with his voice. He worked so hard on it. He wanted to be normal. He wore “normal” clothes in “normal” colours, he watched the shows Wally talked about (even if he didn’t quite get them), he ate real food (even though some of it still made him feel sick, after the bare-bones nutrition-first diet the Court had their Talons on), and he did his best to be a “real boy.”
He pretended not to see the concern in Bruce’s gaze, or the looks Bruce and Alfred sometimes traded. He was going to be anormal person, he could feel it in his (probably too dense) bones.
--
“Want to—want to meet up with Wally,” Rj said.
Bruce lowered his newspaper to look at him. “Oh?”
“For movie. In Cen...” RJ took a moment to swallow and find enough voice for the end of his sentence. It was still frustratingly hard, sometimes, though. “In Central.”
“I see,” Bruce nodded slowly.
RJ mechanically reshaped his face into a smile, much like the ones he’d seen Bruce putting on for press conferences. It didn’t feel quite right, but he’d spent time in front of a mirror, figuring out the right shape.
He knew how to smile, on some level, but it was an incredibly rare expression for him. He always deferred to a neutral expression, instead, after all. But the practice had been enough to give him some confident with the hollow, empty, fake smiles.
Bruce eyed him dubiously.
Obviously, Bruce would be able to see through a fake smile. What Bruce wouldn’t be able to do, though, was figure out why RJ was trying to fake a smile in the first place. Especially if RJ knew that Bruce knew it wasn’t even a real smile.
“Tell me when and where, I suppose,” Bruce raised an eyebrow.
RJ’s smile felt a touch more real for a moment, then settled back into the plastic mold.
--
Johnnie.
Johnnie was a normal kid. A normal boy.
The dress was maybe not the most strictly “normal” thing that RJ could have shown, if he was trying to be completely “normal,” but it hadn’t been a deal breaker. Or, rather, if Wally had any problem with the dress, he was too nice and other-minded to actually mention anything about it.
But Johnnie was everything that RJ could have been if the Court hadn’t stolen him away and ruined him, like they did. And that was what happened, right? They ruined him. Broke him. Made him less human by increments, until he was too broken to even pretend he was a normal human person, most of the time. Ruined him until he couldn’t even speak, most of the time.
Ruined him until you could tell, visually and immediately, that RJ was all wrong. Abnormal.
No normal person needed contacts just to hide how abnormal their eyes were, anyway. (RJ chose blue ones, because Dick Grayson had had blue eyes, before the Court ruined him.)
RJ plastered on his smile, in front of the bathroom mirror. He tweaked it until it looked right. When his smile looked right, he went about the task of brushing his hair until it was neat, then tying it back in an equally neat ponytail. He liked it loose, but it looked more “normal” in a ponytail, he’d decided.
Clothing was the next layer to his “normal person” disguise.
RJ picked out a yellow shirt and a red jacket, then realized that they were too bright, next to each other. For a long moment, he considered giving up. Apparently colour was hard and he didn’t really get it. But he didn’t give up. He tossed the red jacket back into his closet and picked out a green hoodie, instead. He looked the hoodie over, then put it on. It covered the yellow shirt, but that was okay. He was beginning to feel uncomfortable with how bright the yellow was.
He put on a black jacket, over it, and that felt—
He didn’t know how that felt. But he looked in the mirror and decided that he looked “normal” enough. A green hoodie, a black jacket, jeans that were actually in his size. It was a big difference from his usual black and gray or black or gray ensembles. There was a vague person-shape, even, unlike when he was in his oversized, comfy sweatshirts.
He gave himself a smile that he didn’t quite feel, but which also looked about correct, then rushed off to find Bruce.
“Is it time to go?” he asked.
He felt excited, but the way he forced himself to express it wasn’t quite what he’d normally do. He shifted in place, smiled, hopped in place a bit. Normal things. What he didn’t do was disappear to go throw himself at aerial equipment. Or climb into a chandelier. Or got find vents to explore.
“Just about,” Bruce eyed him up and down. “You look good,” he said.
There was an underlying “you look uncomfortable,” there, too, but RJ completely ignored it.
“We are going to go watch the new—the Captain America movie,” RJ said.
Bruce hummed his interest. “Seems a little odd, being in the superhero community as you are,” he joked. “But I hope you enjoy yourself.”
“We were going to see the new X-Men movie—too. After. You know, if we have time, I guess? Yes. If we have time.”
Bruce nodded again. “X-Men,” he said. “Their message of acceptance of self and of nonexclusion on basis of differences is a good one.”
“Sure,” RJ gave him a vague smile.
Bruce eyed him again. “Superhero movies, hm?”
“Yes.”
Bruce nodded slowly.
“And lunch,” RJ put in.
Bruce’s eyebrows climbed higher. “Lunch? Are you sure that’s a good idea, chum?”
It was true that a lot of food tended to disagree with RJ and left him feeling gross and over-full. But lunch was a normal thing to do and he wanted to do normal things. He stretched his smile a bit wider and nodded. “When do we go?”
--
Johnnie: my dad is going to bring me
Wally: Makes sense!
Wally: You’re a baby, dude.
Johnnie: im not a baby
Wally: I mean, not literally a baby. You’re just super young!
Johnnie: you are only two years older
Wally: Two years older and in my own city. Bro, you’re not even from this state, of course your dad’s gonna want to escort you to whatever stuff you have planned!
Johnnie: and that is normal?
Wally: Yeah, of course!
Johnnie: hm
Johnnie: i can take care of myself
Johnnie: but i appreciate that my dad cares
Wally: Better than anyone can say for my shitty bio dad lol.
Johnnie: your uncles and aunt care though
Wally: Oh, for sure!
Wally: Aunt Iris dropped me off at the sandwich shop like twenty minutes ago, but I only just saw her leave, like, a minute ago.
Wally: I’m not even that far from home, here.
Wally: But she still hung around to make sure I’d be fine. I bet she’s in the book store across the way, still, trying to pretend she’s not watching to make sure I stay safe.
Johnnie: and that is not creepy?
Wally: Nah.
Wally: I’m only 13, right? Sure, I want that independence and stuff, but it makes sense that the adults in my life, the ones that care about me, also want to watch over me and make sure I’m safe.
Wally: It’s a bit annoying, but totally understandable.
Wally: And also, like? Way better than the alternative, which saw absolutely no shits given for a younger me, my dude. My dad was a piece of work, haha.
Johnnie: i would like to collect his kneecaps
Johnnie: and perhaps turn them into jewelry
Wally: lol
RJ actually wasn’t joking, but he let it rest there. Mostly because “murderous instincts” were apparently not normal. And, you know, Bruce always got a bit disappointed when RJ let out the murderous or violent instincts and ideations.
He set his phone down and leaned forward in his seat, looking out the car window to try and see where they were.
“Almost there,” Bruce said, glancing back.
“I am excited,” RJ said.
“I can tell, chum.”
RJ caught the edge of Bruce’s smile before Bruce was paying full attention to the road, once more.
--
The sandwich shop was crowded at lunchtime.
The menu was very Flash-friendly (large portions) and Flash-themed (there was a quadruple-decked sandwich roughly turducken-inspired with layers of turkey, duck, and chicken with the works of cranberry-honey sauce, mayo, tomato, lettuce, and swiss cheese, which made up the sandwich portion of the “Flashgiving” plate).
It made sense that Wally would want to meet there. He probably had eaten a quick... pre-lunch lunch, so that he could playact his own version of “normal” at lunch, after the movie, with RJ. Rather, with Johnnie.
(RJ didn’t think Wally needed to pretend to be “normal,” though. Wally was already pretty great. He wasn’t some unsocialized little baby assassin that chewed through child leashes, the way RJ was.)
(And no, RJ didn’t notice the double standard he had for himself.)
Bruce and RJ stood just inside the sandwich shop’s front entrance. RJ was practically vibrating in place. He glanced around the shop while Bruce explained to the greeter that they were there to meet someone (though they were a touch early).
Across the shop, on the far side, RJ saw Wally’s bright orange hair. His excitement shot up and he disappeared himself from Bruce’s side and flit his way across the whole dining area of the sandwich shop.
He paused, briefly, to make sure his hair was still in order.
It, his hair, always seemed to want to escape his hairties and make a mess of itself, tangling and flying off in all the directions. It seemed to be holding fast, though, which had to be in part due to the new hairties Bruce had got him, with the spiral of rubbery... bit, all along the body of the hairtie. It held in place better, and the cost would normally be some more pain when pulling the tie out of his hair, sure, but he was a Talon and that small amount of pain wouldn’t even register. They were his new favourite things.
Then he finished his flitting over.
“Wally!” he threw his hands in the air – it almost felt natural, because of how excited he was to see Wally in person, again. Almost.
Wally startled, almost choking on his sandwich, then looked up at RJ.
Before Wally had quite recovered, or swallowed his bite of sandwich, or returned RJ’s greeting, Bruce was there and putting his hand on RJ’s shoulder. RJ didn’t have to look back at him to know that Bruce was eyeing Wally with some form of judgement or suspicion.
RJ had heard Bruce telling Alfred about how he didn’t feel like he was much of a father, or paternal in general, but RJ thought he was probably one of the more paternal people, just in terms of overprotectiveness and... whatever.
Wally swallowed his bite of sandwich audibly, “Oh uh. Hey.” He gave a nervous laugh and smile.
Bruce raised an eyebrow.
Wally nodded, awkwardly.
RJ took it upon himself to break the weird standoff. He mentally checked himself over, to be sure he was as visually normal as possible, then turned his grin up to Bruce. “Thanks for driving me, Dad,” he said.
Bruce didn’t quite startle, but he did frown down at RJ, slight and questioning. It was as good a startle for him.
“I’ll see you in a few hours?” he plucked his phone from his pocket. “I’ll text you.”
“Mmhm,” Bruce nodded slowly. He turned his attention back to Wally, plastered on his own smile, then reached a hand out to shake. “Wally, is it?”
Wally smiled back in confusion, but shook Bruce’s hand. They’d already met before – when Bruce was still acting as Neal Caffrey – but RJ was counting on the fact that Bruce’s Bruce and his Neal were very different people, outwardly. He didn’t think Wally was dumb or anything, but he rather hoped that Wally would… you know. Let himself fall for it. So that Johnnie could be separate from RJ.
(In hindsight, he’d probably realize that any lingering doubts that Wally had, about RJ and Johnnie being the same person, would have been wiped clean when he saw Bruce, because. Well. Wally was smart. And Bruce had a mode where he was just himself, which was something Wally would have seen when RJ exasperated “Neal,” and which Wally would have notice when Bruce was playing the father role of “Johnnie,” in that restaurant.)
“Nice to meet you,” Wally’s smile lost its confused quality as he shook Bruce’s hand. “Thanks for bringing Johnnie.”
Bruce nodded slowly. RJ hadn’t briefed him about “Johnnie.” He was starting to think that maybe he should have brought it up, actually. “Yes,” Bruce said, anyway. “No problem.” He withdrew his hand. “You two have fun.”
RJ shooed Bruce and waited for him to start moving toward the door.
Bruce took a last moment to give RJ a long, questioning look, then headed back out of the restaurant.
“So,” Wally broke in. “Movie, right?”
“Sorry, I’m a little early,” RJ said. He was paying perhaps too much attention to the measure and meter of his words, especially contractions, but he thought he did okay. Sounding normal.
Wally gave him a fond look. “You’re fine,” he said.
--
Captain America: The First Avenger. Good movie.
Or RJ thought it must have been. He was a bit preoccupied with trying to make himself sit still and continue the charade of normalcy, which took a lot more of his attention than he would have initially thought.
He couldn’t remember most of the movie.
But Wally raved about it and RJ did the best to respond with the correct emotions and words, in the hopes that he would seem engaged and leave Wally feeling paid attention to and validated and. Whatever. He was working hard, though.
Wally stopped as they walked out of the theatre, though, and took both of RJ’s hands. “Dude, you good?” he asked.
RJ had thought he was doing a pretty good job at the whole “normal” act, so the question threw him for a loop. He tilted his head to the side and almost lost his smile. “What? Of course. Why would I not... why wouldn’t I be fine?”
Wally frowned and looked him in the eye. “You know I like you, right?”
“What?” The whole point of “Johnnie” was to make him normal and likable, but Wally didn’t seem to mean... RJ didn’t know what he meant.
Wally sighed and pulled him off to the side. His sigh was paired with a fond smile. “Well. I mean. I already like you, dude. I don’t know why you’re trying so hard to be someone else? I mean, if it’s for you, that’s cool, I guess? But if it’s for me?” he shrugged.
“I don’t understand.”
Wally dropped his hands and started to sign, instead. Which made RJ feel caught. I like who you are, he signed. I don’t need you to be anyone else. He shrugged and dropped his hands again. “I mean. Again, if it’s for you, I’ll support you, right? Of course. But you seem to be working so hard and—I don’t know why you’re doing it, I guess. Even when we’re alone, I mean.”
“I don’t understand,” RJ repeated.
“Arge, dude,” Wally reached out and pushed some hair behind RJ’s ear, then rest his hand on RJ’s shoulder. “I’ve never thought ‘Johnnie’ was someone else, dude. I could tell from, like, our first conversation. I didn’t want to call you out, but. Yeah. I knew, already.”
RJ dropped the fake smile to give Wally a perplexed frown, instead. “I thought I was different enough,” he mumbled.
“I know you, though. I pay attention to you. You’re, like, my best friend,” Wally threw an arm around RJ’s shoulders and started to lead him off to the place they’d planned to have lunch, after the movie. “The colours are fun and all, but I don’t like thinking about how hard you’re working to act all... socially normative, or whatever. Normal’s overrated, you know? You’re awesome.”
“Oh,” RJ mumbled.