Chapter Text
When Taako came to her door at two AM, Lup was immediately wide awake. He shuffled inside and just sort of collapsed onto her bed. Lup stood there for a moment, trying not to immediately think this was anything bad, before closing the door. From where she was standing, she said,
“Can I paint your nails?”
“Uh-huh,” Taako said, thrusting out his hands. The old polish they had on it was chipped from the regular wear-and-tear of life. Lup got a box of polish out and sat next to him, taking his hand in hers. She took a cotton ball and soaked it in a little bit of nail polish remover, gently scrubbing away the old design. Taako didn’t say anything.
“Color?” she asked and Taako shrugged, face down in the bed. “I’m gonna do a light green, is that cool?” He shrugged again. “Alright, light green it is. Sage, it says. That’s a pretty nice color, yeah?”
No response. Lup stopped trying.
Over the next few minutes, she carefully applied the sage green color to his fingernails in silence. She started working on the left hand as the right one began to dry. Taako peeked his head up a bit to look at it. After a moment, he set his head back down. The sheets were now against his cheek instead of his entire face, which was an improvement.
“I think I’m sick,” Taako said as she finished off with pinky.
“With?” she asked, setting his hand down. She looked at the other one to see it nearly dry and filed the sage green back away. She picked out a clear polish to cover it.
“I don’t know,” Taako said. “I’m just sick.”
“Do you not wanna do work tomorrow?” Lup asked. “‘Cus I can make you look sick, not even a question. We don’t even have Merle here to disprove that you’re not.”
“That’s not funny,” Taako said immediately, pulling his hands away from her. He pressed his head back directly into the sheets. Lup sighed and put the clear polish back.
“What does it feel like?” she asked. “Like, are you nauseous or achy or what?”
“…Achy,” Taako said after a moment. “But like, on the inside.”
“On the inside,” Lup echoed, confused. “Like a headache?”
“No,” he snapped, sitting up. Lup winced as part of the nail polish got onto her sheets. Taako didn’t seem to notice. “This keeps fucking happening and I don’t know why. Every time one of those dumbshits-” he big gesture towards the door, showing that he was regarding the rest of the crew, “does something stupid, my chest hurts! Or I feel shitty and I just wanna sleep all day, or whatever. I think I’m cursed.”
“You’re not- you’re not cursed,” Lup laughed, reaching for his hands. “And stop moving, your fucking up the polish, goofus.”
“It’s not funny,” Taako said but stopped moving anyway. “Now I’m a hundred percent sure I’m cursed. You just convinced me.”
“Taako,” Lup said, squeezing his hands. He looked like a mix between angry and just plain hurt. “You’re not cursed, but I’m sorry for laughing. I know you’re not, uh, not the best in the feelings department and I respect that. I wanna help you and I need you to listen to me, alright? No jokes, jokes has left the room.”
“Fine,” Taako muttered, looking anywhere but her.
“Whenever I die or get hurt,” she started and Taako immediately tensed up, clenching his jaw. “How do you feel?”
“Why is this relevant?” Taako said, a little fake laugh in his voice.
“No jokes,” Lup repeated. “I promise it’s important. How do you feel when that happens?”
“Bad,” Taako said.
“Right,” Lup said. “And it hurts your feelings sometimes, right? If I do something dumb and get hurt. Or even if I didn’t do something dumb and I just end up not, not, available for the rest of the cycle. It sucks, right?”
“Yeah,” Taako said, frowning.
“And when someone who’s not me gets hurt,” Lup said. “You feel bad then, too, right? Like, it’s really shitty.”
“Yeah,” Taako said again. “I don’t like where this is going.”
“You’re smart, Taako,” Lup said, squeezing his hands again. “You don’t need me to say you care about them too.”
“Fuck,” Taako muttered, making his hands back. He scrubbed at his face with the heels of his palms. “This is bullshit.”
“It’s okay to feel things,” Lup said and she saw Taako roll his eyes when he took his hands back down. “I know you don’t need to hear that, but I’m telling you anyway. I care about them too, y’know? Obviously, it’s pretty hard not to after so long.”
“It’s been, like, twenty years,” Taako said, turning away. “That’s not even that long. I spent longer trying to perfect Auntie’s pot roast recipe. That was a bitch.”
“That was a bitch, yeah,” Lup said. “But you got it. And you’ll get this.”
“Fine,” Taako said. She saw him glance down at his nails and grimace. After a few moments of silence, he held his hand out towards her. “Can you fix these?”
“I’m just gonna start over,” Lup said, taking his hand and getting another cotton ball. “And you owe me.”
“Yeah, sure,” Taako said dismissively, turning back towards her. “I want just like, white this time. This color looks like shit.”
“You look like shit, doofus,” Lup said, picking out the white.
“I rock it, though.”