Chapter Text
I was a weak child with poisonous flowers blooming in her lungs, thirsty for pretty things which stole my breath. A weak child who was not given love on a silver plate learnt love is better served in blood-thirsty knives. I was a weak naive child in love with love. A weak child in love with a man made out of smoke, dark magic and my darkest fantasies. A child getting on her knees for men who did not exist anywhere else but in her sick mind. My men- they were indestructible. Magnificent. Made out of dreams and desires instead of flesh. They disappeared like the smoke of my cigarettes as soon as it left my cursed lips and they smiled like a devil trying to make me sin. Their lips tasted like my favourite drug. Their kiss bitter, addicting and unhealthy. Their large hands far from gentle as they caged me in their cruel embrace. They danced with me till I was a drunk, euphoric child before they thrust blades on my skin. They begged for my love while their hands were washed on my blood. They fed on my desperation and stubbornly refused to let me go. I was a weak child never strong enough to run away from predators who wore the skin of my lovers. My lovers were huge, intimidating, strong enough to bring the world on their knees as they did to me. And they were oh so frighteningly beautiful. I foolishly believed I was in a dream when they were there instead of a nightmare. I was a weak child, an artist in love with her very creation. You belong to me my creation told me. I did not disagree. As they cuffed my limbs and drew blood whenever they touched, they taunted me. Aren't you happy now? Isn't this what you wanted? What you prayed to the heavens for? Aren't I exactly what you dreamed of? Drunk in their godly magnificence no real man could have, with my bruised lips, tired of their lovely kisses, I told them.
Yes, indeed you are.