Chapter Text
When Jia opened her tired eyes from her deep slumber, she was surprised to see that it was still dark in her room. The sun hadn't risen high enough yet for the rays to shine through the curtains. A few distant chirping birds outside signaled that it was almost dawn. She turned her head to check on her fellow cell-mates. Xinyu was sprawled out on her bed and snoring lightly, much to Jia's amusement. Moka was lying on her side, cuddling a small bolster that she brought along from her home in Japan.
Jia brought her eyes up, staring at the blank, white ceiling. The events from the past several days of being in this competition felt like a blur to her. So many things happened, and it was only just the beginning—Being a candidate for the Top 9, creating a new cell, moving into the dorm, practicing for the first Connect mission, and there was much more to come.
All three of them were completely knocked out after last night's practice. The interim check proved to be a huge confidence booster for her team. The planet masters praised them so much, it was almost unreal. The compliments she'd gotten too were still floating through her mind. Jia found it difficult to not smile after their interim was done.
As long as they keep this up, they will have this mission in the bag.
Only, the real concern was if that alone was enough to give her cell the votes they needed, and if she managed to survive the next round.
Jia heaved out a heavy sigh. As long as she could show her best, then she shouldn't worry so much.
She was only worried about someone else.
Youngeun… I wonder how she's doing…
From what she recalled in their shared practice room, the other team went through quite a change in the way they had been practicing for their performance. Sometimes when Jia looked over at the other team in between breaks, she would notice her former Kick It partner helping out her teammates with the choreography and getting the timing right alongside Xiaoting. Other times she would be goofing around and keeping the mood up, which seemed to help a lot to reduce any tensions or nerves.
There were a few times Jia caught Youngeun staring at her, and they would exchange playful looks with each other. When their breaks coincided, Youngeun did not hesitate to go over to where Jia was and initiate some light-hearted chatter. Her fun antics were also infectious. They would goof off and play around in the room, sometimes with Dayeon joining in too. As much as she enjoyed them, those moments they had were unfortunately short, due to them being busy with their own respective teams.
Nevertheless, Jia still appreciated them. It meant that they weren't just a one-off thing.
She slowly got up from her bed, not forgetting to do her daily stretches. It was a break day, but for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to return back to sleep.
When Jia finished taking a shower and changed into some fresh set of clothes, she decided to head over to the shared cafeteria in the campus building. As she carefully peeked in through the doors, she saw that the sun's rays were shining through the windows surrounding the large space, illuminating it in a warm glow. A few of the cafeteria aunties in charge of preparing breakfast were already setting up trays of food at the buffet area. As she scanned over to the many long dining tables in the room, she noticed a lone girl sitting with her back facing her.
Guess she wasn't the only early bird in this building.
Entering the cafeteria, Jia slowly approached the girl. From her point of view, she couldn't really tell who it was but it seemed that the other person had her hair up in a ponytail and was engrossed in writing something. As she got closer, Jia had a sneaking suspicion that she knew who this girl was.
"Youngeun?"
The pony-tailed girl suddenly drew back from her hunched-over posture and turned her head around, a pleasant look of surprise on her complexion.
"Jia!" the shorter girl exclaimed, not hesitating to reach out and grab her hands. "What are you doing up so early?"
"I could say the same for you," Jia greeted her back with a pleasant smile. "You're normally not the early bird amongst everyone here." Her eyes trailed from her friend and towards the table, noticing a bunch of stationaries surrounding an opened diary. "Were you writing down your thoughts?"
"Hey, you still didn't answer my question," Youngeun remarked, playfully covering her diary from Jia's view.
"I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep so here I am," the taller girl simply shrugged. "Now what about you? I know the food here is good, but that can't be the only reason."
“I couldn’t sleep back either! So I thought I could just start off the day by finishing up this week’s diary entry. I realised that I didn’t make time to fill it up.”
It took a few seconds before Jia realised something was amiss.
“Shoot,” she covered her mouth in shock, “I forgot to do it.”
Youngeun released a hearty chuckle, tugging a little on the other girl’s hand. “Do you wanna write it down together?“
After a quick run back to her room with her own diary in hand, Jia sat together with Youngeun to work on it. They went through the daily questions, compared drawings (much to Jia's chagrin), and managed to complete the week's entry in record time.
"Phew…now I don't have to worry about submitting it at the last minute," Jia closed the book, relieved. She looked at the girl in front of her and immediately noticed the tight-lipped smile worn across her face as if she was trying her best not to laugh. Jia narrowed her sharp eyes. "Okay, spill."
"But I didn't say anything," Youngeun innocently said.
"You're still making fun of my cat drawing. It's shown all over your face."
"Damn it," the younger girl muttered.
"Is it really that weird?" Jia furrowed her brows as she flipped to the page where the mentioned drawing was.
"I wouldn't call it weird, it's just really unique and so...you."
"Seo Youngeun, if we weren't in a room filled with witnesses, I would tackle you right now and demand that you take that comment back about my cat."
Youngeun simply guffawed.
That was all it took for Jia to reach across the table and playfully smack the cheeky girl with her diary.
“Okay, okay! I'll take it back!” Youngeun exclaimed, trying to block the hits with her arms but to no avail. “Have mercy, please!”
Jia added one last smack for good measure before she stopped with a triumphant smirk.
This girl was slowly making her a little crazy, but she didn’t mind it one bit.
When Jia entered the practice room, a part of her was relieved that nobody else was there. It was already way past the ungodly hours of early morning, so even the filming crew had already packed up and called it a day. She eyed the cameras stuck on the corners of the room and noticed that they were off too.
Good.
Lesser things to worry about.
She shuffled in and switched on a few of the lights, bathing half of the room in the usual fluorescent glow. Taking a seat on the floor and facing the mirrored walls, Jia stared hard at her reflection.
If she had to describe how she was feeling currently, it would be tired and disappointed.
All the trainees have heard the results of their first Connect Mission.
Her team lost.
Jia released a heavy sigh.
Mistakes happen. It wasn't anybody's fault.
And yet, Jia couldn't help but feel frustrated. Not at anybody else, but herself.
The first elimination round was around the corner.
She laid down on the cold, hard floor. Her head was clouded with intrusive thoughts. She wished her worries would just disappear into the void.
A few moments passed before the squeak from the doors startled her from her quiet time. Jia immediately scrambled into a sitting position, ready to apologise to any staff member who might have come in to check on the room.
Only it wasn't a staff like she initially thought.
There at the door, peeking her head in, was Youngeun.
"Did I interrupt something?" she asked, a twinge of concern beneath the small smile on her face.
It was strange. Just moments ago, Jia's head felt as heavy as a boulder, but one look at Youngeun and she somehow felt better. Even if it was just a little bit.
"N-no, you didn't," Jia sheepishly replied. "I just needed to be somewhere alone."
"Should I leave?"
She widened her eyes. That was the first time she heard the usually extroverted girl being so...understanding. "You can stay, Youngeun," Jia relaxed her posture and patted the space next to her invitingly. "Your company is always welcomed."
Once the other girl sat down, the air between them was unusually awkward despite their close proximity. Jia had no idea what to say. Was this something she should even share with her…rival? (Honestly, she did not see her that way, no matter what the show deemed them to be.)
"Listen…" Youngeun uttered.
Jia raised her eyes from the floor to look at the other girl.
"Whatever happened on that stage has already happened," Youngeun continued, staring deeply into Jia's eyes. "You're better off not letting it get to you."
"That's easy for you to say," Jia's lips curved into a forlorn smile.
"Um," the younger girl stammered, searching for the right words. "I'm sorry it turned out that way– Ah shoot, I wanted to make you feel better but clearly, I'm sucking at it right now."
That brought a small giggle from Jia. Seeing the usually confident girl turning into a blubbering mess for the sake of cheering her up was endearing. "It's okay, Youngeun. I appreciate the thought."
There was a lull in their conversation, though this time the mood felt lighter than before. Jia brought her knees up and rested her head on them, staring at their reflection in the mirror. "How did you know I was here?" she asked.
"I…couldn't sleep?" Youngeun glanced sheepishly to the side.
"You're a terrible liar," Jia scoffed, though watching her antics was oddly adorable.
"Hey, I'm telling the truth!"
Jia simply stared at her with a deadpanned gaze.
"O-okay, it's half the truth," Youngeun said defeatedly. "I couldn't sleep because I was worried about you."
Jia's face softened as she processed those words. "Why would you be troubled over me? We're competing against each other."
A pregnant pause settled itself in the air. She didn't like it one bit.
"Is that what we are?" Youngeun turned to her, her eyes downcast and her voice softer than normal. "Just two girls on a survival show competing against each other? Like rivals?"
That word again… The way she said it had a bitter undertone. It was starting to become Jia's least favorite word in the dictionary.
"No," Jia sighed deeply. "We're not that."
Through the reflection, she watched Youngeun scooting closer to her, their arms touching and leaving no gap between them. "What are we then?" the younger one asked.
Jia closed her eyes and leaned her head gently against Youngeun's. "Definitely not rivals."
When Jia listened to Youngeun's idea on how to tackle their sleep problems, she didn't expect it to go in this direction.
After their little heart-to-heart in the practice room, they reluctantly decided it was best to head back and at least get a few hours of shut-eye. Plus, they couldn't stay in that room forever. As they quietly walked to their respective rooms, Jia felt a tug on her wrist and looked curiously at Youngeun.
"Do you wanna sleep with me?" the younger girl suddenly asked.
Jia almost tripped over herself.
"I meant just sharing a bed!" Youngeun strongly clarified, her cheeks and ears growing red by the minute.
"W-why?" Jia questioned the girl after composing herself again.
"So we can sleep better."
"And how do you know that will work?"
"My mom said having someone you trust close to you will help calm your mind and lull you to sleep."
The taller girl chuckled in amusement. "Is that your way of saying that you wanna cuddle?" It was embarrassing but oddly enough, Jia wasn't entirely opposed to the idea. Watching Youngeun nervously scratching an imaginary itch on her cheek was an adorable sight to behold too.
"Yes," Youngeun faked a cough to dispel her embarrassment. "Only if you're comfortable though."
And that was how Jia came to be in this position; on Youngeun’s bed, with barely any space between them.
“This is nice…I guess,” Jia softly remarked, keeping her voice low so as not to disturb Youngeun’s slumbering cell-mates.
“And you said that I was a terrible liar,” Youngeun lightly scoffed beside her.
“I’m not lying.”
Despite the room being dark, the older girl could tell that Youngeun was glad she accepted the request.
“Jia…”
She raised her eyes up to meet Youngeun’s soft but determined gaze.
“Have faith, okay? I know you will make it through to the next round.”
Somehow, those words of encouragement were enough to calm the storm in Jia’s mind, at least for the moment. With a tired but appreciative smile, Jia reached out and pulled her friend closer to wrap her in a hug.
"Friend" definitely has a better ring to it.
Jia lets her mind wander off on that thought as she fell asleep in Youngeun's embrace.
When Jia looked across at the 54 empty spots in front of her, her heart started pounding again.
She scanned them briefly, never really focusing on one spot or place. Her hopeful eyes then raised slowly up to the 9 towering seats above them. From here, they seemed miles away from her grasp.
The first elimination round...
Her palms were getting clammy again and she started rubbing them on her skirt. The gesture was short-lived when she felt an equally clammy hand placed on top of hers. Jia turned to her left to see Moka giving her a smile of encouragement.
"It'll be alright," her Japanese cell-mate said in Korean.
Another hand was placed on her shoulder and when Jia turned to her right, Xinyu was there giving her that quiet yet strong smile that she usually wore.
Jia was glad that the two of them were here with her. It wasn't just her alone who was anxious about the results.
As more and more of the seats in front of her began to fill up, the feelings of hope and anticipation in her began to fade. Eventually, it came to the 1st and 2nd-placed cells. Jia knew there was no way she'd be in these positions.
Her eyes lit up when the screens showed Youngeun's cell.
She watched in admiration at the trio joyfully hugging each other tightly and holding each other's hands as they went up to the stage. Her heart swelled with pride when Youngeun stood there with Xiaoting and Yurina, the contenders for the top cell.
It could have been her imagination, but Jia swore that Youngeun kept glancing in her direction. It was only when they locked eyes from across the room that she knew that her friend was worried about her.
Looking closely, Youngeun was mouthing something at her too.
Don't cry.
Jia swallowed the heavy lump in her throat and mustered up the brightest smile she could offer, for her sake.
When it was time for Youngeun to give her speech, Jia listened intently. The pride for her friend never drifted away even when she herself had that sinking feeling that this might be the end of the road for her.
One thing's for sure though. She knew from the beginning that Youngeun could go far.
"Jia…"
When she heard Youngeun call her name, she couldn't hold the tears back any longer.
"Make sure you make it through so we can perform together," Youngeun said, a choked sob breaking through her sweet voice. "I love you."
Jia nodded strongly at her friend, wiping away the tears flowing down her complexion with a grateful smile. She really wanted to make it through. The uncertainty was not doing her any favours. It made her want to puke and curl up into a ball.
Even after composing herself, Jia couldn't escape from that dread which clung like a parasite in the back of her mind. Her shoulders gradually sank as she waited for the screens to show the candidates of the 17th cell.
Maybe it's time to pack up my bags after this...
Just as she finished the thought, the screens lit up. She was still in a daze when the surprised gasps from the other girls broke her reverie and made her raise her head.
She couldn't believe it.
There.
On that screen.
It was her cell.
Maybe there was a glimmer of hope for them after all.
Words of encouragement and not to cry from the other girls surrounded the trio as they went up together on the stage. Jia glanced at the seats again, and sure enough, more words of support came from the girls who survived. Some even cheered her name with vigour. She lightly chuckled when she saw Youngeun clapping a little too enthusiastically from the sidelines. The gesture warmed her heart in ways she has never felt before.
After the 2nd contender was revealed, it was the moment Jia had been anxiously waiting for. She inhaled a deep breath as she stood together with Moka and Xinyu, awaiting the result on the screens above them. The trio's hands grasped each other tightly, almost clinging for dear life.
Jia couldn't bear to look.
Seconds passed, and the first thing Jia noticed were the gasps, followed by the loud cheers which filled the entire room. She dared to open her eyes and was immediately dumbstruck by the results.
The tears came rushing back again when she saw her cell on the screen.
A wave of relief overpowered her being.
The weight in her heart finally lifted.
Jia could still go on.