Chapter Text
After coming back from their USA tour, things fortunately started to calm down. Despite it being an amazing experience, all of the members were exhausted, the hectic schedule taking a toll on their minds and bodies.
However, with Taehyun and Beomgyu finally aware of Soobin's ADHD, dealing with it became infinite times easier. There was no need to hide things or talk about it in private, and sometimes Soobin would even joke about it whenever he was having trouble with something.
It made them grow closer to each other.
So when they got a few days off to visit their families and rest, although Yeonjun missed his parents and was more than happy to forget about his responsibilities for a while, he still felt kind of bittersweet about leaving his members behind. And just as expected, the time he spent away from the dorm turned out to be a painful reminder of how attached he was to his boyfriend.
As much as he loved eating his mom’s home-cooked food and talk to his dad about life, Yeonjun couldn’t help but miss Soobin’s presence, proven by how much he talked about the boy, every single thing reminding Yeonjun of him.
That’s why the first thing he did after coming back to the dorms was to swallow Soobin in a bone-crushing hug, followed by a passionate kiss that made everyone else in the room gag. But it didn’t matter because Soobin was smiling at him, his cute dimples on display, making Yeonjun wish he could store it in a small box so he could look at whenever he needed a serotonin boost.
And to say they spent the whole day glued together was an understatement. Yeonjun followed Soobin like a lost puppy wherever he went, and the younger in return clung to him like a koala.
When the night came, they found themselves laying on bed together after a long shower, Soobin’s head on Yeonjun’s lap, who played with the boy’s hair. The only light in the room came from a bedside lamp, the air was filled with the smell of Yeonjun’s body wash — Soobin forgot his own at his parents house—, and the other members were all out doing god knows what.
It was nice.
But after a few minutes of relaxation, Yeonjun felt Soobin grow restless. That no longer bothered him, because it wasn’t often that the younger stayed in the same position for more than one second, but Soobin soon turned to look at him, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth.
Yeonjun blew a kiss at him and Soobin smiled, but it didn’t take long for a pout to appear on his face again.
Knowing his boyfriend, he didn’t press him to say what was on his mind, only kept his fingers brushing through Soobin’s slightly damp locks, humming under his breath.
“Hyung.” A whisper echoed in the room.
“What is it?”
Soobin looked hesitant, avoiding eye contact by looking at his own fingers.
“I don’t know… I’ve been thinking about this for a while…”
But he sighed and stopped mid-sentence, so Yeonjun prompted him. “Yeah?”
After a few seconds and a final breath, Soobin blurted.
“I think I want to start taking medication for my ADHD.”
Taken aback by the sudden information, Yeonjun didn’t say anything at first, increasing Soobin’s restlessness, but he quickly recovered, offering the younger an encouraging smile. “Hum… I don’t really know much about it, but if you think it’s the right thing for you, then you totally should.”
“My parents didn’t want me on meds when I was first diagnosed. They thought it wasn’t necessary, and back then there wasn’t that much information around the topic, I guess. But I’m still afraid it won’t work. Or it’ll be a bad experience.” The frown on Soobin’s face became more prominent. “Because if that happens, then I’ll just have to accept that there’s nothing I can do and I’ll have no choice but to stay like this for the rest of my life.”
Hearing that, Yeonjun sat up straighter on the bed and searched for Soobin’s eyes before he began speaking. “But you don’t know yet. It could also be great, so you won’t win anything by worrying too much ahead of time. And even if it doesn’t work, you’ll have me and the members to support you for the rest of your life.”
“Thank you, hyung. Maybe… Maybe you’re right.”
“Now come here, my big baby.” Yeonjun gently lifted Soobin’s head from where it was resting on his lap so he could lay down next to him, pulling the boy closer and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “I say this a lot but I’ll keep saying it until it sticks in your mind okay? You’re perfect just the way you are, and I love you just the way you are. Of course I want things to be better for you, but you shouldn’t think you’re anything less than amazing, with or without some stupid meds.”
Soobin closed his eyes and sighed, basking in the affection Yeonjun was giving him, but when he opened them, his face was contorted into a sad frown. “But all I can think about since the day of our showcase is that if I wasn’t like this nothing bad would’ve happened. I feel like I keep ruining things and people are nice about it because they pity me. I feel… like I’m holding the group back.”
“Holding us back? We’re doing great for rookies and Soobin, you’re our leader. How can you hold us back?”
“Yeah, but-“
“There’s no ‘but”. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. And I support your decision to take medication, but I want you to do that for yourself, not because you think that’s going to be better for the group.” Yeonjun's hands slipped underneath Soobin’s shirt, delicately tracing patterns on the skin there.
“Don’t worry, hyung. I really do think this is something I want to do.”
And they fell asleep holding each other that night, Yeonjun‘s head tucked under Soobin’s chin, the younger’s arms resting around him. It was comfortable. Peaceful. Perfect. As long as they were together, they would be fine.
-
Unfortunately, one of the bad things that came with being an idol was that your company had control over most of your life, which meant that, in order to schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist, Soobin had to undergo a lengthy and uncomfortable talk with the management to explain the situation.
But on the bright side, the company was very understanding and their team was pretty quick to sort things out, so just a few weeks later Soobin came home after his consultation with the psychiatrist, bringing with him a bottle full of pills and almost jumping from excitement.
Yeonjun was glad the younger was feeling optimistic about the new experience, and he really hoped it would indeed be a good one, because Soobin definitely deserved a break from so much stress.
Yet, when the next morning came and he finally took the first pill together with his breakfast, nothing seemed to change. Yeonjun didn’t know what he was expecting, maybe for Soobin to turn into a mutant super hero or grow a second pair of arms in the worst case scenario. But nothing happened. Soobin was still Soobin. And with only one pair of arms.
It was throughout the day that Yeonjun started to notice the changes.
They were in the middle of a busy week — preparing for their first comeback wasn’t an easy task —, so there were lots of things to do, which always took a toll on Soobin’s energy and attention span after some time.
Dance practice went by smoothly, with not a lot of mistakes, because all they did was go over their old choreographies, since the new title track was still in the process of being recorded.
But what Yeonjun loved about it was how Soobin was beaming the entire time. He played with the maknaes, bickered with Beomgyu at least three times, and laughed at every single one of Yeonjun’s dad jokes. He had never seen his boyfriend so happy.
After that they filmed some new contents, recorded more of their songs, and everything was going smoothly. But as their next schedule approached, Yeonjun became increasingly apprehensive.
They had languages lessons. Also known as Soobin’s personal hell.
It wasn’t new to anyone that the boy was an absolute catastrophe when it came to school and, unfortunately, language lessons were probably the closest kpop idols got to a school environment during work.
They would all sit at the table inside one of the company’s offices and listen to the teacher, taking notes and repeating some words or sentences here and there. Yeonjun had to admit it wasn’t the most ADHD friendly class. So it never took long for Soobin to start spacing out, paying attention to everything except the lesson by drawing on his notebook, playing with his hair or talking to whoever was sitting next to him.
However, it was shocking to see Soobin actively participating in the class, his focus as strong as it was when they first started even after a whole hour. It was impressive, to say the least.
And turns out that Soobin was pretty darn good at learning when he wasn’t getting distracted by a different thing every five minutes.
Yeonjun was excited. Maybe that really was the answer, what would finally change things for them. All he wanted was for Soobin to be happy, because seeing him struggle with everyday tasks, no matter how big or small, would always be one of Yeonjun’s least favorite things in the world. So while he had big expectations for the medication from the beginning, getting to see the effects of it in person felt unreal.
Everyone noticed the changes in Soobin’s behavior, encouraging and praising him whenever he was doing anything, and the effect it had on the boy was obvious. Soobin thrived under verbal reassurance and affection, so he was basically glowing after so much positive feedback.
Which is why Yeonjun got scared out of his mind when Soobin suddenly burst into tears in the middle of their lunch break.
His first instinct was to abandon everything he was doing to comfort the younger, mind already full of awful scenarios where he was proven wrong and the medication managed to make things worse, but as soon as he asked what was wrong, Soobin raised his head to look at him, and his eyes were glistening with tears but his signature dimpled smile was stealing the spotlight.
“I’m happy.” He simply said.
“What?”
“I’m happy.”
Yeonjun felt all the tension leave his body like water falling down a waterfall. He sat closer to Soobin on the comfy blue couch of the artist’s break room, gently wiping the tears that insisted to fall. “Aw, that’s great, Soobinnie.”
“I-I just never thought life could be like this. Is this how normal people feel? Everything- everything is so much easier.”
With his heart clenching, Yeonjun pulled Soobin into a hug. “Yeah, I know.” Was the only answer he could offer, but the truth was that he didn’t actually know anything. He couldn’t begin to imagine what Soobin was feeling.
So he stayed silent after that, simply offering his shoulder for Soobin to cry on, trying to give as much comfort as he could with everything he had and hope it was enough.
Although those were mostly happy tears, Yeonjun knew that, deep down, the younger was also letting out years of frustration, mourning for what he could’ve done or who he could’ve been if he was one of the “normal” people. And as much as it hurt to see, Yeonjun knew it was something Soobin needed to do.
But by the end of the day, the excitement was still palpable when the couple curled up together to sleep, exchanging slow kisses and soft touches. Despite the psychiatrist having warned that the first days on medication weren’t exactly how Soobin would few after his body adjusted, there was never so much hope for the future.
Too bad that feeling didn’t last very long.
A big thing about any kind of psychotropic drugs, Yeonjun learned, was that the side effects could be unpleasant. And unlike over-the-counter medicine, bad side effects were very common.
It started with food. Not that Soobin had a particularly good relationship with it before, but he went from forgetting to eat because he was focused on something else to simply not eating at all because of lack of appetite caused by the meds, only to binge eat caloric foods like ice cream during the night and feel guilty afterwards.
Then sleep became a problem. Which just like with food, was already not very healthy to start with. Since they began living together, Yeonjun knew that Soobin always had a hard time falling asleep. Sometimes Yeonjun would wake up at 3 a.m. to pee and he'd hear the younger tossing and turning on his bed.
Fortunately, after he figured out more about Soobin's ADHD, Yeonjun realized that cuddling was pretty effective against the younger’s insomnia, so on most nights you could find them asleep on the same bed. All Yeonjun had to do was talk to him for a bit, give Soobin’s racing mind something to focus on, and he would be out cold in a few minutes.
However, after the second day on meds, none of that worked anymore. No matter what he did, Soobin would not fall asleep.
During the first couple of nights, Yeonjun would drift in and out of consciousness, being constantly woken up by Soobin’s soft groans and whines or his restless limbs, so the boy insisted on sleeping on his own bed. But it only made things worse, as he started going to work after no more than 2 hours of sleep every day, and it was taking a toll on the whole group.
So they tried everything.
After switching rooms with Beomgyu, — who used to sleep in the extra room they used as a closet — in order to avoid bothering the rest of the members during the night, Yeonjun dragged a very tired Soobin to the bed — futon, actually, because the closet-room wasn’t big enough for an actual bed —, determined to give him a good night of sleep.
“Hyung, what are you doing?” Soobin asked from where he was seated, observing while Yeonjun struggled with a match to light a candle.
“I’m going to help you fall asleep.”
“With a candle?”
“It’s a scented candle.” Yeonjun said as he left the candle on top of the bedside table.
“And how does a scented candle help with falling asleep?” Soobin barely managed to finish his question, because Yeonjun interrupted him with a kiss on his mouth.
“You talk too much, grumpy baby. Now lie down, okay?”
“I’m not grumpy.”
“Lie down, Soobinnie. Don’t you want hyung to take care of you?” Yeonjun pouted, giving the younger his best puppy eyes.
Trying to hide his blush, Soobin found himself lying on his stomach. “Is this what you-”
His question was actually interrupted that time, when Yeonjun’s hands started running through his back, the shirt he was wearing bunched up at his shoulders, making goosebumps appear all over his skin.
“Hyung?” Soobin asked with a tiny voice.
“Relax, Soobinnie. Can I take your shirt off?” Yeonjun kept his hands moving gently on the younger’s back, working the tension away from his body.
“Yeah.”
“And the shorts?”
“Yeah.”
The room became silent after that, only the occasional whines and grunts Soobin would let out when Yeonjun hit a particularly tense spot. The smell of the scented candle was more powerful, and together with the massage, he could see Soobin’s eyes fluttering closed a few times.
“Are you sleepy?”
“Mm-hmm.” Was the best Soobin could offer with his face smashed into the pillows, making Yeonjun let out a low chuckle.
“My cute Soobinnie.” Yeonjun blew out the candle, letting the comforting darkness engulf both of them and pulled Soobin against his chest, smiling when the taller snuggled up to him.
And, just to be sure his mission was a success, to avoid any risk of Soobin’s brain falling into an overthinking spiral, Yeonjun brought his hands to the boy’s hair, playing with the strands while humming some of his favorite songs to listen to when he has trouble sleeping.
He let out a relieved breath. It seemed like sleep wouldn’t be a problem anymore.
Yet, Yeonjun dragged himself out of bed that morning after a long, but basically sleepless, night.
Soobin only actually fell asleep sometime after 4 a.m., and Yeonjun also managed to get a few hours of sleep with the help of some naps, but it wasn’t nearly enough.
“Hyung. Yeonjun-hyung.”
Taehyun’s voice interrupted his thoughts when Yeonjun was in the middle of making his beloved morning coffee.
“Good morning, Taehyunnie.” He mumbled. It was 7 a.m. and Yeonjun wasn’t nearly awake enough to carry any sort of conversation.
“Did you sleep?”
“Yeah. A little bit.”
There was a noise of the fridge being open and closed, then Taehyun's figure reappeared in front of him, leaning against the counter, drinking orange juice.
“Hyung.” He paused, looking as if he was thinking hard before saying his next words. “You know this… this can’t go on anymore… right?”
Yeonjun only stared at his coffee.
“I know you love Soobin-hyung and that he needs help but this… this isn’t healthy for any of you.”
“So what do you expect me to do?”
Taehyun sighed.
“I don’t expect you to do anything. But don’t you think maybe Soobin-hyung should talk to his psychiatrist again? Because if the drugs he’s taking are doing more harm than good, then something is definitely wrong.”
“Yeah, but Taehyunnie… There are only two types of ADHD medication allowed here in Korea so if none of them work, it’s over.” He wasn’t planning to throw all his worries on the shoulders of one of the youngest members in the group, but before Yeonjun could control himself, words were already pouring out of his mouth. “And how can we take this away from him when- when he finally got to experience the world without all those problems in the way? When he cried on the first day he took those meds because for the first time he felt normal. It feels utterly cruel to let things go back to how they were before.”
“But isn’t it also cruel to let things the way they are now? And isn’t it cruel not only to Soobin-hyung, but also to you?”
Yeonjun didn’t respond. He didn’t want to know the answer to those questions.
But Taehyun persisted. “Please, hyung. You need to stop sacrificing so much of yourself when there are other solutions.”
And he hated how Taehyun was almost always right. He was younger, yet so much wiser than most of them, and Yeonjun sometimes forgot about it. But the way the boy stared at him with pure concern made him feel slightly uneasy. He, being the oldest, should be the one giving advice, not the other way around.
“I know.” Does he? He asked himself while picking at his cuticles. “The psychiatrist said it can take some time for his body to get used to the medication, so if by the end of this week things are not getting better, I’ll talk to Soobinnie.”
However, as much as Yeonjun wanted to say things did get better since then, he couldn’t. Because the sleep problem was child’s play compared to the biggest issue that came with the ADHD medication.
The crashes.
Unfortunately, just like any other medicine, the ones Soobin took also started to wear off after a few hours and lose it’s effects, making all of Soobin’s ADHD symptoms return full force. And to his brain that got used to not dealing with it while the meds were still active, it was pretty upsetting.
The crashes usually happened during the afternoon, meaning they were almost always at work, and most times it was unpredictable. Along with the increased ADHD symptoms, Soobin would also fluctuate between depressed and irritated, get easily overwhelmed, frustrated, exhausted and sometimes everything at once.
And it all came crashing down one night when, in the middle of a dance lesson, Soobin yelled at Beomgyu.
Soobin yelled.
Not a playful yell, or a frustrated yell, but an angry yell.
It’s not like he had never screamed before — far from it, actually — but never in such an angry and annoyed way, especially directed at one of his members. When Yeonjun saw Beomgyu teasing the younger, he knew it wouldn’t end very well, considering how grumpy Soobin was that night, but he never expected something like that would happen.
The whole room went quiet, trying to process what they heard, and Yeonjun didn’t even remember exactly what Soobin yelled, because his brain was too shocked to assimilate anything past the fact that Soobin, his cute, caring and soft-spoken boyfriend, just yelled at someone.
However, as soon as the silence snapped Soobin out of his rage induced daze, tears started falling down his face and quickly became sobs that swallowed the quiet “sorrys” the younger kept repeating like a mantra as he clung to Beomgyu’s arm.
And during the whole hour that took Soobin to calm down, Taehyun’s big and sharp eyes that never left the leader reminded Yeonjun of the talk they had just a few days before.
Things really would not get better.
-
Soobin got another appointment with the psychiatrist one week after the dance lesson situation.
That time, however, he wasn’t filled with excitement when he got back home with his new prescription. Even though the doctor had told Soobin about how a lot of people struggle to find the right medication and right dosage, it still felt significantly scarier after failing the first time, especially since Korea was so strict with ADHD drugs and, in fact, the country only allowed two different kinds.
So that was the beginning of what would soon turn into an endless amount of months trying to find the combination that worked for Soobin.
First he started taking an extra pill with a slightly lower dose in the afternoon to avoid the crashes, but it only made them worse. Then, Soobin went back to taking one pill but with a higher dose, which made his anxiety skyrocket, though a lower one made little difference. That whole process took almost three months, and anyone could tell how exhausted, both mentally and physically, Soobin was.
Their comeback was near and everyone was also on edge, Yeonjun himself included. He practiced nonstop everyday, even when all the members had already gone back home, because he couldn’t run away from his obsession with perfectionism. And that, paired with his constant worries about his boyfriend, left Yeonjun almost no time for himself, to recharge and feel ready to face the world again.
Gladly, after what felt like forever, Soobin managed to settle on a medication dosage that was effective enough without debilitating side effects. It wasn’t perfect. He still had problems with appetite suppression and others, especially physical, symptoms. But for the first time in months, Yeonjun had hope that better days were actually coming.
Soobin went back to being the leader they knew before, no longer burdened by the relentless fatigue that came with the side effects. It became easy to catch him doing things such as helping the maknaes with homework or playing games with Beomgyu. And even more important, taking care of the others without forgetting to look after himself.
However, that did not mean life began to slow down for Yeonjun.
With the comeback around the corner, he couldn’t miss a single second of practice. He still slept together with Soobin in the closet-room, but with how busy both of them were, time alone became a luxury they rarely could afford. So Yeonjun had no reason not to throw himself into work.
“So here’s where you’re hiding.”
Yeonjun jumped, but soon recognized the voice and reflection he could see in the practice room mirror.
“Hyungie.” Soobin approached him with light steps.
“Hi Binnie, what are you doing here?” Yeonjun said, hoping it didn’t sound as harsh out loud as it did in his head.
Hands delicately brushed his sweaty hair away from his eyes. “I wanted to check up on you. Do you know what time is it?”
Yeonjun had no idea. The only thing he knew was that he started working when the sun was out and it was already night. He didn’t answer.
Picking up on his boyfriend’s silence, Soobin continued. “It’s already past midnight. I think you could use some rest since you’ve been working so much recently.”
“I don’t know, there’s still a lot I need to work on.”
“But you need to be happy and healthy to be able to improve.” Soobin insisted.
He was right and Yeonjun knew it. The thought of his comfy and warm bed made him want to melt into a puddle. And he also missed cuddling with Soobin.
“Okay.” He sighed.
And when Soobin smiled and kissed him softly, Yeonjun knew he wasn’t going to regret that decision.
However, god probably wanted to grant him one last good day before things started getting bad again, because when he woke up next day he couldn’t move.
Or well, he could. But it hurt like hell.
“Fuck.” Yeonjun groaned. He couldn’t even identify the source of the pain, feeling it all over his body as he tried to stretch, hissing loudly.
The arms wrapped around him tensed and Soobin lifted his head from where it was resting on the pillow to get a better look at him. “Hyung?”
If he wasn’t in so much pain, Yeonjun would've cooed at his boyfriend’s appearance, his face all crinkled from sleep, with eyes barely open and crazy bedhead, but the only thing that managed to get out of his mouth was another “Fuck.”
So Yeonjun ended up in the hospital. And he had a back injury. One he got because he kept pushing his body without breaks. Exactly what he needed right before comeback season.
He cried in the shower later that day, almost high from pain medication. He'd need at least a few weeks of intense rest to recover from his injury, which meant staying away from work, and their comeback would need to get postponed. Because of him.
They had so many schedules to attend, even their first award show as a group, and Yeonjun wouldn’t be there.
So it’s needless to say the next couple of days were hell to Yeonjun. He’d wake up to an empty house, stay in bed all day in pain, to then get a few minutes of interaction with his exhausted members that got home from practice. He needed help to do a lot of daily activities, and Yeonjun felt like a child even if he was already 20 years old.
If there was a list of what Yeonjun hated the most in the world, feeling useless would be at the very top. He needed to be doing things to feel alive. Needed to be dancing, singing, eating, taking care of people, anything.
Therefore, it was torture to spend his days doing basically nothing. But, thankfully, Yeonjun had Soobin to light up his painfully boring days.
“Jun-hyung?” The younger said quietly to the dark room where Yeonjun was sulking on the futon.
His first instinct was to grunt something akin to an answer, but before he could even think, the heavenly smell of ramyeon invaded his nostrils.
“I brought some food for you, love.”
Both of the boys blushed at the pet name, Yeonjun because he wasn’t used to hearing it, and Soobin because he wasn’t used to saying it. Everyone knew that, in their relationship, Yeonjun was the one responsible for the cute nicknames and terms of endearment, while Soobin was more shy, opting to call him by some variation of “Yeonjun-hyung”, so to have him addressing the older in such a sweet way was unexpected. Not like Yeonjun was complaining, though.
“You didn’t have to.” He said.
“Yeah, but I wanted to.”
His stomach growled, stopping Yeonjun from protesting further, and Soobin moved to sit down next to him on the bed.
“Open up.” He said, holding a portion of ramyeon with the chopsticks and Yeonjun complied without making a fuss. He was hungry.
Soobin stayed there, silently feeding Yeonjun, watching him with an intense gaze, and when the bowl was finished, he left it next to him on the small bedside table.
Yeonjun crooked an eyebrow. “You’re being weird.”
“No, I’m not. I’m just taking care of my boyfriend.” Soobin retorted, pulling Yeonjun into a quick kiss.
“I taste like ramyeon.”
“Well, I like ramyeon. And I like you.”
Yeonjun blushed. He couldn’t help but feel like their roles were being swapped for one night. Was that how Soobin felt every time he flirted with him?
“Do you want to lay down?” Soobin asked, and Yeonjun once again raised his eyebrows at him.
“What are you planning?”
“Nothing much.” The younger smiled mischievously.
Yeonjun complied, deciding to indulge his boyfriend despite not knowing what he had in mind. Though whe he lied down on his back, Soobin kissed him again, but maneuvered his body so he would be resting on his stomach.
“Soobinnie, what are you-“
His sentence got cut by Soobin’s gentle hands running through his body, removing his shirt.
“Relax, hyung. You’re so tense.”
Soobin’s delicate hands started massaging his back, gently working on the spots where his body was tense and it felt heavenly. Yeonjun only realized how much he needed that when he noticed how the pain and discomfort he’d been feeling all day slowly dissolve.
“Why are you doing this?”
Soobin’s hands stopped for a moment before he answered. “Because I wanted to take care of you.”
Silence fell upon them and it seemed like that was all the information he was going to get, but Soobin continued after a few seconds, his voice softer. “You take care of me so well hyung. The least I can do is try to do the same for you.” He removed Yeonjun’s pants and started massaging the skin of his legs. “Hyung works so, so hard, you’re so good to me.”
Yeonjun sighed, more relaxed than he had ever felt on his life. “You work hard too, Binnie.”
“That’s why I’m working hard to let my boyfriend know how much he’s loved.” Soobin giggled. “I can’t… Hyung, I can’t thank you enough for taking care of me when I need. You’re just too good for this world."
“You don’t need to thank me.” Yeonjun said, but the words came out slurred.
Soobin laughed again. “Are you tired, hyungie?”
“Kinda.”
“My Junnie is so cute, he’s truly the best.” There was a little shuffling and Soobin lied down next to him after turning off the lights. “I love you.”
No matter how much time passed, Yeonjun‘s heart would always do backflips and all sorts of crazy things inside his ribcage whenever Soobin uttered those three words.
“Sleep well, hyung.”
Yeonjun barely registered his eyes were already closed when hands started caressing his hair and he was ready to slip into dreamland when he heard it.
Soobin’s soft voice.
He was singing. And for someone who heard that basically every single day because of their job, Yeonjun always got a little too emotional when the younger sang to him. Maybe it was because, out of the five of them, Soobin was the one who sang the least during their private time, or because the feeling of hearing it so close and only for him made Yeonjun's heart flutter. He didn’t know.
But he did know that he was in love.
He not only got to have Soobin, that precious and beautiful soul with him for him to love and take care for the rest of his life, but also got to see Soobin do exactly the same for him and Yeonjun wasn’t even sure if he deserved that much happiness.
He was definitely in love.