Chapter Text
"Taehyung, I swear to god, if you don't turn off that damn game..."
The boy blinked his brown eyes at his leader's. He rolled onto his stomach to get a good look at him, phone still in hand. Namjoon had been sitting in front of his laptop probably long before he had returned from his rehearsal.
And it was his hyung's day off, which meant that, if these were normal circumstances, Namjoon would be soaking in the pages of some book, working out, eating delicious things, or, for a change, taking a nap.
But those did not feel like normal circumstances. His leader was bitter and angry and Taehyung didn't know why.
"Didn't you manage to sleep?" he asked, finally turning off the noisy game on his phone. "Why don't you sleep now? I'll be quiet."
"I don't need to sleep, Taehyung-ah."
But the boy wasn't too sure.
"What are you doing?"
"Working."
"Why are you working if it's your day off?"
Namjoon grunted. He didn't feel like offering any explanation, and honestly, he didn't have the answer to that question either. He had gotten to work on the company's project only a few minutes after Seokjin had let him in the room to sleep.
Of course. He hadn't slept. Nor had he let himself stop working since then. The wave of emotions of anger and confusion had awakened an inspiration in him that had compelled him to get up and get his laptop, and thanks to that he already felt closer and closer to finishing the project.
However, he could not feel relieved. He was still angry, and he still didn't fully understand why.
"Hello." Seokjin greeted, snapping them both out of their thoughts. The older one offered them a smile from the doorway. "I don't feel like cooking today, so I'll order food, what would you guys like.... Namjoon, what are you doing?"
"Working."
"Working?" the older one frowned. "I thought we agreed to talk to the company?"
"We'll have to deliver this anyway, so..."
Jin hesitated. He would have wanted his dongsaeng to take the rest of the day to rest and relax.
"Okay... How long have you been working on that?"
"I just took the laptop." He watched out of the corner of his eye as Taehyung's eyes widened at the obvious lie.
"And did you manage to sleep well?" Jin asked. "Do you feel rested?"
"Yes." He lied again. That time Taehyung couldn't disguise the incredulous gasp. Seokjin turned to him with a raised eyebrow.
"What is it?"
"Uh..." Namjoon gave him the deadliest of looks. Taehyung felt the nerves settle in his stomach. Did hiding the truth count as lying too? He wasn't good at lying!
"Can I go with Jiminie and Kookie?" he tried, eyes as big as saucers. Seokjin studied him for a couple of seconds, obviously suspecting something was wrong.
However, to his luck and thanks to the merciful angels, the older one gave him a nod after a while of torturing him with that piercing stare.
"Right..." Jin sighed, too tired to try to decipher the boy's game. "I'm about to order, so be back in time to eat."
Taehyung nodded, giving Namjoon one last inquisitive look and hurrying out of the room.
"What are you craving?" it took the leader a while to figure out that his hyung was talking to him. Jin was looking at him expectantly, phone in hand.
"I really don't care."
"Do you want sushi?"
"Whatever." He replied, curtly.
"Would you like a squid roll? I think they have that one that..."
" It doesn't matter, just ask for whatever you want!" he growled. Seokjin blinked, scowling.
"Yah! You better cut that attitude, dongsaeng!" He scolded, turning in turn to leave the room. "I'm going to call you for dinner in a little while, and if you keep behaving like an angry three-year-old I promise you won't be sitting down comfortably to eat! God!"
With that, he closed the door behind him. Namjoon didn't let go of his frown. His hyung was all threats and nagging. He never did anything, anyway!
It was forty minutes later that Namjoon heard his doorknob turn again. A full forty minutes in which he was just flooded with insensitive, spoiled rage. He had given up trying to figure out why he was unusually angry. He was simply letting himself go as far as his sanity would hold out.
He was about to prepare the best of his gestures of annoyance for Seokjin, but it was Jimin's figure that appeared in front of him, smiling. The rapper let out a quiet snort.
" Hey, hyung." He greeted. "We just got back, we went for ice cream. Look, we brought you some. It's pomegranate."
"Jimin-ah." He grumbled. "Not now. Go play with Taehyung."
"He's eating." Jimin let himself lie down on the rapper's bed. He put the ice cream container on the bureau beside him as Namjoon furrowed his brow. "Which reminds me; hyung wants you to go to the table. He bought sushi."
Namjoon rolled his eyes.
"Then you go eat."
"I will, in a little while."
"Jimin-ah..."
"What are you doing?"
The leader grunted.
"I'm busy."
Jimin gave him a questioning look.
"We haven't seen you since yesterday."
"Because like I said, I'm busy."
Jimin replied with a slight snort, his lips pursed in a pout.
"Why are you so angry?" he asked, frowning slightly.
"I'm not angry."
"You could use some sleep." Jimin walked over to him to hold out the ice cream. "Or else I'm sure ice cream makes you feel better. Here; try it."
"No. Get out of here! I don't have time for this right now."
"But hyung-"
Namjoon gave him a deadly look. Why couldn't the boy just follow a simple instruction?
"Get out." He repeated, in a dangerously low voice. The dancer paid him no heed, he was struggling to open the ice cream container. He used a little more force and pulled the lid.
So much, that he splashed a few drops of the red dye on himself, the bed, and on Namjoon as well. The leader felt anger ignite in his chest as the cold flecks stain his clothes and sheets. Jimin's eyes were wide, he hurried to leave the bowl on the furniture beside him and was already raising his hands to wipe the red dye off his hyung's face.
" I'm so sorry, hyung, let me..."
But Namjoon had no more patience. Jimin stepped back when the leader stood up and grabbed him tightly by the arm. He felt an alertness shooting hard in his stomach at the sight of Namjoon so angry.
"Hyu...?" The rapper interrupted him by roughly throwing him on the bed. Jimin gasped, and Namjoon responded by raising his hand high above his head. He gave him five powerful swats on his backside. With anger driving his hand.
"Why are you so disobedient? look where it's gotten you!" The leader had connected a blow for every word. Jimin responded with a high-pitched scream.
"Ahhh! OW! I didn't mean it!" He cried, kicking his legs. The blows stung much more than usual. "Hyung! I'll clean it up!"
"Stop being so loud!" He barked. "You wouldn't have to clean up if you had not disobeyed me the first time!" he gave him five more swats and then released his grip. Jimin let out a shuddering groan and looked at him with bright, stunned eyes. "Now get out."
The youngest did so. With fresh tears flooding his eyes. He ran out of the room, whimpering Seokjin's name. The leader rolled his eyes at the drama. Surely now he would have to listen to a lecture from a very protective Seokjin berating him for whipping his offspring.
However, when the door opened a minute later, and Namjoon turned from his place, it was not Seokjin who looked at him from the door frame, but Yoongi.
"What was that all about?" he asked bluntly.
Namjoon snorted.
"It was nothing."
"Jimin is crying."
The leader let out a low, unfunny chuckle.
"Yeah. Jimin does that a lot." He spat.
"Why did you punish him?"
Namjoon frowned, why did Yoongi suddenly feel like questioning him? As if he had time to sit down and debate his motives with his resolute hyung. If he had disciplined Jimin it was because he deserved it!
"I'm busy." He said bitterly. "Get out."
"I asked you a question."
"Namjoon-ah!" Seokjin's voice echoed in the hallway before his figure appeared in the doorframe, looking as disturbed as he sounded. "What the hell happened, why did you spanked Jimin?"
Namjoon felt anger boiling in his chest. He raised his feline eyes to Seokjin's, glaring at him harshly.
"If I punished him, it's because he wouldn't stop messing around!" He spat. "Now, let me work!
"Don't talk to me like that!" Seokjin frowned. "Jimin is very upset, he came crying because he says you hit him for no reason. I want to know what happened."
"What happened is that he's a spoiled brat who won't obey my orders! I only smacked him a couple of times, you know he's a drama queen!"
Seokjin blinked.
"How can you say that?" he scolded, shock flooding his voice. To hear their leader so venomously spit those words to refer to any of his dongsaengs was unheard of, but with Jimin, of all people, for whom Namjoon had a more endearing inclination....
"How did he disobey you?" questioned Yoongi, who seemed on the same train of thought as Seokjin.
"I told him to leave the room and he didn't obey! He ended up throwing the ice cream on me!" He spat, though his confidence faltered as he heard himself speak. Stating his reasons made him realize what a pathetic attempt at an excuse he was making. That somehow made him more enraged; and in the midst of his anger, trying to convince himself that he had acted correctly was easier than admitting such an obvious lack of control.
"That ice cream?" Yoongi questioned, pointing to the few crimson drops Namjoon had on his clothes. The older rapper's incredulous tone ignited Namjoon's rage. Seokjin also looked irritated, but his focus was directed at him.
Namjoon huffed. Of course they were going to be furious with him. Their perfect hyungs. Rallying their sympathies against him, as if he was some kind of villain! As if he had committed the worst crime! He was doing his best! He was leading as best he could, And his hyungs were there, ready to confront him for disciplining the brat?
"Jimin said it wasn't on purpose. " Seokjin inquired.
"That's not the point." He mumbled. "Jimin was being disobedient and I've disciplined him. I don't know what he has been telling you, but he was being exaggerated! Just like you two are being right now. So, if you have nothing more to say, get out of here."
Seokjin raised his eyebrows.
"Don't you dare be rude just now, Kim Namjoon, I already gave you a warning! I won't give another one!" he scolded. "We just want to know what happened!"
But Namjoon was not willing to listen to them anymore. He closed his laptop with a firm thump and walked out the door with violent strides. If they wanted explanations, they would get explanations.
"Jimin-ah!" he shouted.The maknaes raised their heads as they saw him appear over the threshold. Jimin was tucked into Taehyung's chest, while Hoseok stroked his back from across the couch. Jungkook stood up when he saw him enter the living room.
"Hyung, he doesn't want to talk to you." Jungkook enunciated, but Namjoon ignored him.
"Jimin-ah, get up. Tell Seokjin why I've..."
"He doesn't want to talk to you, hyung!" He was interrupted by the younger one again. The boy glared at him with a resentful, almost deliberate gesture. Namjoon furrowed his brow. Surprised at such a scathing attitude from someone who had full knowledge of how he responded to audacity.
He answered with a sharp glare.
"Stay out of this, maknae. I'm talking to Jimin."
But Jungkook didn't move an inch, nor did he let go of his defiant stance, instead, he repeated again, in a loud voice:
"He doesn't want to talk to you! Go away!"
By now the boy was really exasperating him. Namjoon knew that under other circumstances he would have easily managed to appeal to his sensitivity. Seeing Jungkook so protective of his companions was always a gift to tenderness. Not that time. That time he was assaulted by a grimmer, more painful feeling. He felt disconnected. Distant. Jungkook was protecting Jimin, but from him .
He barely recognized the bitterness in his voice when he spoke:
"Move." He mumbled.
Jungkook gave him the haughtiest of looks.
"No."
"Jungkook-ah, I swear to god..."
"You scared him." Namjoon blinked at the accusation, and shook his head slightly.
"I did no..."
"Yes, you have!" Interrupted him. "And you've also exceeded yourself when you were punishing him! You can't do that!"
"Stop interrupting me!"
"And you stop behaving like an idiot and listen to us!"
Namjoon felt his back straightening and the blood pumping accelerated against his neck. That little brat!
Before he could even meditate, he sent his hand to the boy's brazen cheek. Jungkook let out a gasp as the blow turned his neck. The sting was immediate, and almost in the same instant the maknae turned his face to look at him, eyes wide and bright.
Namjoon had slapped him.
"You will not speak to me that way!" The leader bellowed. His eyes were alight with fire. Jungkook swallowed the painful lump in his throat. His leader had never before given him such a grim gesture.
"Namjoon-ah!" Seokjin's voice and Hoseok's voice reached him in unison. The older one rushed over to check on the boy. Redness was already painting his cheek, and tears were starting to run down his cheeks.
"Namjoon-ah. That' enough, get out of here." Yoongi's stern voice came from behind his back. "You're too angry."
"Too angry?" The leader let out a bitter laugh. "Didn't you hear how he spoke to me?"
"You need to calm down."
"I am calm!"
"No. You're not." He cut him off. "Go. Now."
"You can't order me around." He bellowed. He had to appeal his desperation when Yoongi was threatening his authority in that deliberate way. "I am your leader! You owe me respect!"
Yoongi gave him a dangerous look and he held it.
"Hobi, take Jungkook with you." Seokjin spoke from behind them. Annoyance and worry flooding his voice. Hoseok sat up quickly, and hurriedly wrapped his arms around the boy's shoulders. "Jimin-ah, Taehyung-ah. Go with him."
The boys were already leaving the room when Yoongi's voice plagued his ears again.
"Namjoon-ah." He insisted. " Leave."
Namjoon clenched his jaw as he listened his hyung. Felt like refusing, like battling on. He felt his heart pounding hard against his chest. He felt like lashing out at the room, at the furniture. He wanted to scream and roar his commotion. He was so damn angry.
But his conviction failed when Jungkook turned to give him one last look before disappearing down the hallway. The boy lifted a tearful face to his own, he had the vestige of the slap on his cheek; his eyes bright and sad.
Jungkook looked incredibly fragile. Helpless. Pained. And Namjoon suddenly felt his most human instinct assail him as what he recognized as absolute lack of control on his part. He was abusing his authority.
The realization gnawed at his chest; it was when he realized his inability to stop that current of anger running brazenly through his veins that he had no choice but to give in to his hyung's request. He couldn't stay there if he was unable to control himself.
Yoongi was still looking at him. Seokjin didn't take his eyes off him either as he turned around to walk out of there, taking heavy steps and closing the door to his room behind him.
Seokjin rubbed his face with a bitter sigh. Yoongi didn't look much calmer either.
"What the hell was that?"
"I don't know. This isn't like him." Seokjin replied, desperately trying to find the valid reason for his dongsaeng's poor behavior. He knew that Namjoon had been having trouble resting. He also knew that he had been especially rabid that particular morning.
He wondered why, and yet, much to his distress, he knew that no amount of lack of sleep or irritation managed to justify such behaviors.
"He's had an attitude since morning." He mused. "Well... He's had an attitude since yesterday."
"Since then?"
"Yes, he skipped meals, and he didn't sleep because of finishing the stupid company project. Then he started being rude to me."
Yoongi threw his eyebrows up.
"And you didn't tan his ass?" he asked. Seokjin frowned slightly at the choice of words, but shook his head.
"No, I didn't punish him..." He exhaled.
Was that perhaps where the problem lay?
Was this a desperate attempt by his dongsaeng to seek the attention he had not given him at the time?
He had forgiven him the consequences thinking that a good night's sleep would fix his attitude. But then the boy probably hadn't slept either. Seokjin wouldn't be surprised after so much irritation.
"So, did he get angry about it?" Yoongi asked.
Seokjin replied, with a slight pang of his own guilt settling in his chest.
"It seems so."
"He hit Jimin."
"I know..."
"And he slapped Jungkook." Yoongi continued, with a confused frown. "The kid called him an idiot, but still."
"He's never done that before. " He replied. It had been painful to watch. He never expected that Namjoon could slap the face that so admiringly watched him. Yoongi agreed. The poor little boy must have been beyond confused and pain.
"I should go see them."
"Go. Make sure they're not bruised." Seokjin nodded. He planned to do just that.
"I want you to help me with Namjoon." He sentenced, before turning back to the hallway.
Yoongi blinked.
"Me?" The rapper looked quizzical. Usually his hyung knew well how to deal with his dongsaengs himself. "Why?"
"Because you were there too when he started to lose control." He sighed. "And because you're also his hyung, and I think that's just the reminder he needs right now."
Yoongi nodded slowly. He also seemed to agree with that suggestion.
With nothing more to say, the rapper turned to the kitchen. He returned later, carrying a cloth dampened with cold water and held it out to Seokjin with a sigh.
"For Jungkook. Go with them. Call me when you're ready."
"Aren't you coming?"
"Later. I have to calm down and if I see them crying that's not gonna happen." Seokjin offered him a grimace. He nodded and then turned around to enter Hoseok and Jimin's room. He knocked twice before opening the door and giving his four dongsaengs piled on the bed a sad smile.
"Hey..."
"Hyung." Hoseok sat up. He had Jimin tucked into his arms. Taehyung was also hugging Jungkook. The black-haired boy offered him an expectant gesture, and sat up as he saw him enter.
"How are you?" the four of them shrugged, and Jin then walked over to sit on the bed.
"Hyung, Namjoon, he..." Hoseok inquired.
"He's in his room." He replied, as he stretched a hand towards the maknae. "Kookie, come here. Let me see your cheek- Jimin, I'll check on you in a moment, okay, love?"
"Yes, hyung."
Seokjin took two seconds to inspect the boy's face. Surprisingly there was nothing but a slight redness, but he still pressed the cloth carefully against Jungkook's tender cheek.
"Does it hurt?" he asked. Jungkook shrugged his shoulders.
"Not much."
"One to ten?"
"Uh... two?"
"Are you sure?" Jungkook nodded.
"Yes." He replied. He knew Namjoon for sure hadn't used half his actual strength. The blow had surprised him more than it had hurt.
Seokjin nodded, almost with relief.Despite that, Jungkook still looked uneasy. His eyes were downcast and he had the same crestfallen posture he employed every time he caught him in one of his misdeeds.
" What is it, Koo?"
The maknae raised his eyes to look at him before asking:
"Is Hyung angry because of me?"
"No, Kookie." Seokjin was quick to shake his head. "Namjoon was already angry before he dealt with any of you."
"Why was he so angry?" Jimin asked that time. Jin sighed bitterly.
"I suspect he's been sleepless for a good couple of days. He's been working on a company project." Seokjin tried his best not to make it sound like an excuse. The last thing he needed was for his dongsaengs to start thinking such behaviors were acceptable. "I don't know what's bothering Namjoon so much, but I'm going to get to the bottom of this."
"Uh, about that..." Taehyung mumbled.
"Yes, Tae?"
"Hm... Well. I don't think hyung slept today." He said. "When I came home from rehearsal to keep sleeping he was already working on his laptop."
Seokjin furrowed his brow, feeling his annoyance rising. He had already suspected as much, but he had hoped with all his might to be wrong. After all, Namjoon had told him in the morning that he had rested well. The shameless boy had not only disobeyed him, but also lied to him about it!
"I see."
"Are you going to punish him?" Taehyung continued, cautious, as if afraid of the answer. Seokjin hesitated. Punishments were usually a private matter between those involved; but he found no reason to hide the truth from them. They, despite everything, had directly resented their leader's wrath.
"Yes, Tae."
"But hyung..." Jungkook hesitated, with a mortified gesture. "I... well, it's just that I was the one who was being rude..."
It took all of Seokjin's willpower not to smile. Even in spite of everything, his sweet boy still felt like being considerate and protective of his leader. On the other hand, Jin also knew that Jungkook must be resenting his earlier naughtiness. He himself had not been happy with his choice of words either.
After all, calling his hyung an idiot was indeed a serious offense. Namjoon had expressed his disagreement in a more irrational way. They certainly didn't use slapping as discipline, and Jungkook must be resenting the lack of it.
Therefore, he decided on a more methodical approach. He hardened his gaze only slightly and used his finger to lift the boy's chin and make eye contact with him.
"Which reminds me..." He warned. "The next time you use such vulgar language to refer to any of us I'm going to wash the rudeness out of your mouth, and I mean literally. Did I make myself clear?"
Jungkook swallowed saliva. He felt his face flush at the very deliberate statement, but managed to nod. Seokjin released his grip.
"Good." He said, then, as calmly as ever, turned to look at his other dongsaeng and asked. "Jiminie, come, love."
Jimin stepped out of the comfort of Hoseok's arms to approach Seokjin.
"Would you let me verify that you have no bruises?"
Jimin lowered his eyebrows. He doubted Namjoon had left any bruises, but he still agreed, for the sheer peace of mind of his hyung. He pulled himself down to lie on the bed and grabbed a handful of the fabric of his clothes to uncover his butt.
Jin frowned slightly at the sight and Hoseok and Taehyung hissed openly. The boy had swollen and reddened handprints of Namjoon's hand painted on his skin. The leader must have delivered very furious blows if he had managed to leave visible marks even through his clothes.
Jimin had told him earlier that Namjoon had dealt at least a good dozen of smacks, but Seokjin knew well that any evidence of such a short punishment should have disappeared after a few minutes.
With a bitter sigh, he stood up and stretched toward his dongsaengs' bureau. He knew that they kept an ointment that had mysteriously —and despite his warnings— disappeared from the bathroom on one of the days when they had had a particularly tough punishment.
Seokjin smiled sadly, then slathered a good amount of salve on his hands and hurried back to his dongsaeng.Jimin purred as he smoothed the ointment on his throbbing bottom, and lay down on Hoseok's legs, who was soon brushing his golden locks of hair.
"That's it." Seokjin enunciated, as he wiped the remaining cream on his jeans. "It should stop hurting in a while."
Jimin nodded slightly, stretching to redress his backside. He then turned to look at his hyung, who was already turning his attention back to them.
"I'm going to go with Namjoon now." He enunciated. "And i'm going to need privacy in the meantime, okay, Tae?"
The boy nodded. Seokjin reached out to stroke his hair. Then he sat up.
He wanted to end the matter once and for all.
[...]
Namjoon was sitting on the bed when the door opened. He looked over his shoulder, not daring to turn his head completely, and frowned slightly. He had expected only Seokjin's presence, but Yoongi also entered behind him.
Before he had time to register his conclusions, Seokjin folded his arms and gave him a piercing, stern look. His hyung rarely directed such icy gestures toward him. That alone reminded him the severity of the situation.
"Explain yourself." He demanded. Namjoon shrugged his shoulders. Even he didn't understand why he had behaved in such a manner."You've been behaving terribly since yesterday. Why?"
"I don't know."
Seokjin hummed.
"Last night I asked you to sleep, did you do it?
Namjoon had the decency to look embarrassed.
"No, hyung."
"And when I asked you earlier today, you lied to me and told me you did."
The rapper lowered his gaze.
"And you kept working" Seokjin continued, in a stern voice. "Even after I asked you to rest!"
"... Yes, hyung."
"Why, Namjoon-ah?" He questioned, with a frown.
"I... I don't know."
"Why?" he repeated, in a terribly patient tone. But he didn't know what to answer. Why? . Namjoon didn't know. He knew that he had been seeking for that attention very much too desperately for his own good. He had been out of control, and he had wilfully let his impulses get out of hand, until it had become simply too much to bear.
He had exceeded himself.
"I'm waiting, what do you have to say for yourself?"
Namjoon groaned inwardly.
"I don't know, hyung."
"You don't know?"
"No, hyung."
Seokjin raised both inquisitive eyebrows at him before speaking.
"Then this has nothing to do with what happened yesterday, does it?"
Namjoon stirred, ever so slightly.
Of course. He knew.
His hyung always knew.
"I didn't... "he mumbled. "That's not..." Seokjin watched as a blush painted his face and was beginning to flood his eyes as well. The older one was patient. "I... I wasn't thinking."
And Jin agreed.
"No. You weren't thinking. You acted recklessly, pushed yourself to your limits until you got angry and took it out on the maknaes, and us."
Namjoon let out a small whine.
"All because you were looking for attention. Because you didn't have your thoughts in order. " Seokjin continued, scowling. "Even when you know there are more decent ways to ask for our help than behaving this way. "
In spite of everything, Jin did not look as terribly upset as Namjoon would have expected. Seokjin looked at him with stern serenity. He said nothing for a while, as if waiting for the rapper to soak in his words.
Namjoon could have stood watching the torturous composure of those beady eyes all night, but then Seokjin hardened his features, and his almond-shaped eyes filled with that sternness that had been waiting for him.
"Right." Seokjin continued. Namjoon was not surprised with the ease with which his dominant side burst out. "I spared you punishment yesterday because you were exhausted. I believed that a warning was going to bring you back to your senses." Seokjin said in a calm voice. "But I see now that I shouldn't have left you unattended."
Namjoon turned his head, instantly alert. With a blush lighting up his entire face. Of course, he should have anticipated that Seokjin wasn't going to let him get away with it so easily. Not again.
"Hyung..."
"I'm going to punish you for neglecting your health, and for lying to me. And Yoongi is going to punish you for your outbursts today." Seokjin continued, as he sat down on the bed. Namjoon looked at him in horror.
"Hyung, don't..." He stammered. He tried to look imposing, but failed when Seokjin narrowed his eyes at him. His hyung barely reached his height, but Namjoon still felt very vulnerable next to him. "No. Not both of you, you can't."
"Yes, I can, and so can Yoongi. We are your hyungs." He said, sternly. "Now go get the cane."
The leader's eyes widened.
"The cane? But, hyung..."
"Namjoon-ah." Seokjin cut him off. "Do as I say."
The leader swallowed saliva. He would have liked to run away, but Yoongi was too close to the door, and he wasn't going to risk it.
"Can't you do it. Just you?" he ventured. Suga had whipped him only once a long time ago, and Namjoon wasn't eager to repeat the experience.
"No." Seokjin said, and watched as helplessness lit up the boy's features.He didn't want to let the anxiety take over anymore and repeated. "Go get the cane, Namjoon."
Namjoon hesitated. He raised a pleading, sorrowful look, but said no more. He stood for a moment longer, silent. As if debating with his own rebelliousness. Seokjin understood Namjoon's need to take control of the situation, and could afford to respect just a little of his internal struggle against his denial before insisting.
"Go." He repeated, after a while, in a dangerously low voice, with eyes that bordered on defiant. Namjoon looked at him as well, with sharp eyes and a dubious posture.
However, the bout of authority did not last long, just as Seokjin had anticipated. Soon the leader's gaze fell to the ground. His reason won out and he took a hesitant step toward the door.
Namjoon walked out into the hall with short strides, humiliation flooding his stomach. Having to get the stick with which they were going to pummel his ass! Surely there was nothing worse.
It was abandoned in the hall closet when he found it. It was stiff and thicker than the one they had used on him in his tender childhood. He wondered if the sting would be as painful as he remembered it. Only Yoongi had been punished with the hellish object, and it had taken the boy days to sit comfortably. Namjoon felt his stomach churn at the memory.
When he got it, he hurried back, turning his head anxiously as he hoped he didn't see any of his members. He couldn't imagine how humiliating it would be to have to...
"Namjoon-ah?"
Namjoon froze.He turned slowly toward the intruding voice and felt his chest drop as he saw Hoseok standing in the middle of the kitchen. The boy was holding two bottles of cold water in his hands.
"Hobi..." Namjoon felt his grip on the implement tighten. For a split second he tried to pull his hands back to hide it, but almost instantly stopped. It was already clear enough that the boy had seen it.
Hoseok had an unreadable look on his face. He seemed conflicted about whether to say something or not. Namjoon didn't know what to say either.
"What are you doing with that?" Hoseok briefly glanced at the implement in his hands. Namjoon looked down, embarrassment painting his vermilion face.
"I..." The rapper debated. The boy was expectant. He seemed to have already guessed the use of the cane, but he still looked at him as if waiting for an answer. Namjoon wanted to turn away and ignore the obvious question; but he didn't feel entitled to hide his punishment. What was the point of lying to him? "Hyung asked me for it."
Hoseok gave him a brief nod and Namjoon resented a need to add something else.
"Jungkook and Jimin?" He asked. "How are they?"
Hoseok cocked his head slightly before answering.
"They're fine. They're better now."
Namjoon nodded.
"Hobi..."
"You should go back to Jin-hyung now." Namjoon nodded again, without looking up from the floor, and did just that. He walked away with anxious steps back to his room where he knew they were waiting for him, the new humiliation lighting up his face.
Without further ado, he held out the cane to Seokjin, but the boy shook his head.
"Give it to Yoongi."
Namjoon obeyed. The older one grabbed the stick and held it with one of his hands. He swished it once against his palm and then let it lie still on his lap. Namjoon swallowed saliva.
" Over my lap." Seokjin said then.
The rapper lowered his eyebrows.
"Can't I bend over the bed?"
Seokjin shook his head.
"No. Come here."
The leader reluctantly obeyed and lay down on his hyung's thighs. His body rested comfortably on the bed underneath, and his hips rose above Jin's knees.
The position was not uncomfortable, but incredibly humiliating. As if he was a naughty child who had earned a reprimand in spades. Namjoon felt no different.
The older one took some time to hold his back firmly before leaning him slightly forward. He reached out to hold Namjoon's wrists, then pulled his pants down.
"I'm going to start." He declared. Namjoon clenched his fists. He gave a quick glance towards Yoongi, —who had already taken his place at the other end of the mattress— before hiding his face against one of the pillows.
He was startled when the first blow landed. It was always a surprise how hard his hyung could hit. Even through the thin fabric of his black boxers he could still feel the prints soaking into his skin.
Seokjin said nothing as he busied tanning his dongsaeng's butt for the next couple of minutes. The boy did not move at all.He barely let out little moans and slight startles when Seokjin smacked particularly hard.
The older one sighed, leaning Namjoon forward slightly. The rapper gasped when his face brushed the ground so closely. He had to rest his arms underneath to keep from falling flat on his face.
It was when Seokjin began to attack his sitting spots that Namjoon squeezed his eyes shut to avoid the tears that quickly settled at the corners of his eyes. The noise became louder when his hyung's palm came in direct contact with his skin, and the pain increased greatly, too.
"You must respect yourself." Seokjin said. "Feed you when you should, and sleep when you should. Your care is not something you should take lightly."
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
"I-I was trying to... ow... The-The-Project" Namjoon groaned. The sting was starting to burn seriously now.
"No project is more important than your health, Namjoon-ah." He chided, still not quite swinging his hand on the boy's reddened bottom. "I thought I told you that yesterday."
"Ah!" he gasped. "You did, but..."
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
"But you simply decided to ignore my warnings and continue."
Namjoon let out a shaky groan. Why did his hyung have such a heavy hand? And why, for heaven's sake, was he so blatantly displaying his truths?
"It w-won't happen again, hyung..."
"I'll make sure of that."
With that, he unleashed a wave of slaps that stung more painfully than the rest. Namjoon tried with all his might not to kick when Seokjin insensitively attacked his bare thighs.
Time passed slowly, and with full intent. Seokjin did not speak again until his cheeks were flooded with thick tears and until his shoulders began to shake from all the contained sobs.
"Do you understand why you're being spanked, dongsaeng?"
Namjoon sniffled. He knew Seokjin liked verbal responses, so he held back the tremors in his voice, and spoke.
"Y-Yes, hyung."
“Tell me.”
"B-Because... I've neglected my health, and I've exceeded myself." Cried he, with a hiccup. "And because I've--I've lied to you.
"Right." Seokjin said. "Did you learn your lesson?"
"Y-Yes, hyung."
"Then you will also know that, if anything becomes too much, you must talk to us."
The leader nodded again.
"You must learn to accept help from your hyungs." His voice came out soft, despite the annoyance. "We are not trying to bother you. We care about you, I told you that before."
"I-I know." He groaned, sadly. "I-I know, I'm sorry I didn't listen to you before- Ahh!"
Seokjin nodded.
"And above all, if something is troubling your conscience, like what happened yesterday; you'll come to us, and we'll sort it out." He enunciated. "You will not push yourself beyond your limits again, or we will be back here, understand?"
He nodded his head, crying and hiccupping slightly. Seokjin sighed, took a moment to preen the boy's trembling back and then pushed him lightly off his lap.
"Go to Yoongi now, love. We're almost done."
Namjoon sniffled his nose before getting up from Seokjin's lap, he moved slowly, with cautious steps. He did not beg. He never begged; but at that moment he would have liked to. His butt burned like it was on fire.
Yoongi was waiting for him at the other side of the bed; as impassive as ever, holding the cane firmly in his hand.
"Bend over the bed." He said simply. Namjoon trembled, but obeyed. He gripped the sheets tightly and waited.
No amount of meditation could have prepared him for the rush of fresh air that settled in his backside as Yoongi removed his last layer of protection with a quick tug. Namjoon turned almost immediately to cover his bare skin, a fresh wave of embarrassment settling in his stomach.
"H-Hyung, please." He whined. "You can add more, but not bare..."
But Yoongi, who already had experience evading the painful pleas of his dongsaengs, turned him skillfully and pushed him against the mattress.
"You do not decide your punishment, Namjoon-ah." He said, and wielded the cane.
"Pleas-" WHACK! "AH!"
Right. Suga never gave any freaking warning. Namjoon kicked lightly as he registered the searing pain on his skin. The cane hurt terribly. Horribly. Like hell itself.
When a second blow landed that drew a guttural groan from his throat, Namjoon knew Yoongi didn't intend to go easy on him.
"You were given a chance yesterday to make amends and you still gave us attitude."
Namjoon closed his eyes tightly as he heard the air whistling and another blow slammed into his reddening backside. He had been determined not to cry-not, out loud, at least,-but the vicious sting was breaking his resolve. The reminder of his bad behavior was flooding into his head, too. He had been so cruel, and so unfair!
"I-I know, hyung."He whined "I-I'm sorry.".
"Even if you are our leader," Yoongi continued. "You will not use your authority to torment any of us; not the maknaes, especially. If you are angry, you do not discipline them. They gave you their trust for that. Do not break it. "
That unleashed a wave of louder sobs. Yoongi gave him two more painful blows, Which landed right on the sensitive curve under his buttocks. Namjoon was breathing hard, but still managed to respond, in a trembling voice.
"I-I get it! I un-understand!" He cried. "I-I'm sorry, h-hyung."
Yoongi nodded. The young rapper's backside was colored vermilion, and there were five inflamed welts in the shape of the cane painted painfully on his skin.
Namjoon closed his eyes, his sobs had become more desperate, and tears rolled like rain down his cheeks, but even within all the crying and nonverbal protests, he was still serene, still waiting for the rest of his punishment, very still and unmoving from his position. Yoongi almost smiled. Namjoon had a calm and peaceful aura about him. Always stoic, always well-behaved.
"And as for being rude to us: You are our leader, and we respect you as such, but you are also our dongsaeng, and you must respect us as your hyungs." He told him. And Namjoon let out a sob.
"Y-Yes, hyung." He wept, sinking into his arms. The memory of his recklessness was fresh in his Head. He had been so out of control, and everyone had been there to see it. The shame and guilt could not have been greater. "Please f-forgive me. I'm m-so sorry."
Yoongi felt his throat heavy. He had intended to give his dongsaeng at least a dozen, but Namjoon looked so sorry and miserable that he could only give two more. He lifted the cane and brought it down, with less force than before.
But still, Namjoon clenched the sheets and cried fiercely. Kicking his legs when Yoongi dealt the last couple of blows. In the end, there were a total of seven painfully marked stripes on the boy's butt. The older one discarded the cane and sat on the mattress, next to his dongsaeng.
"That's all."He cooed, and almost immediately the younger rapper reached down to rub his backside, with trembling motions and pitiful little moans.
When Namjoon bent down to put the boxers back in place, Yoongi could no longer maintain his pretense of toughness. He sat down on the bed and pulled the sobbing boy into a hug,
"I-I'm sorry." He mumbled, still kneeling on the floor. Seokjin rushed over as well, holding back his urge to pull the boy out of Yoongi's arms to give him his own dose of comfort.
"No more apologies." Said the older one rapper, squeezing him against his chest. Namjoon was shaking hard. He grabbed a handful of the fabric of his shirt and buried there, trembling. "It's over now."
"I-I'm sorry, hyungs." He cried. "T-The maknaes, I... I've scared them, and I-I've been so rude to you."
"Shh, enough of that.
"We've already dealt with it, and Yoongi and I have forgiven you." Seokjin said. "You owe the boys an apology, but once it's done, it will be over."
"T-They won't t-trust me." Namjoon said, or so it seemed. It was hard to understand when the hiccups interrupted him so much and when he had buried himself so vehemently in Yoongi's chest.
However, Seokjin understood. Namjoon's regrets could not have been more obvious.
He could not lie to him by telling him that his had not been a serious mistake. It was dangerous, the realm of trust. One more recklessness and Namjoon would surely have found himself unable to win back the trust of his much-loved dongsaengs.
This was new territory for everyone. The boys were used to feeling their care, their affection and love. Anything contrary to that must have felt terrifying. And all the more reason it was.
Seokjin had his assumptions, however. He knew that, despite everything, his boys were incredibly benevolent, and adored Namjoon with a fierceness that rivaled his own. He knew with every possibility that his sweet boys would find in his heart that forgiveness Namjoon so eagerly sought. For on no possible chance would the rapper allow to plague them again with that bitterness they had endured today and they surely knew it. Seokjin wouldn't allow it either.
He could only hope that this would be enough. That the hearts of his dongsaengs would be at peace accepting that promise he knew Namjoon would make to them, and then, hopefully, they would all find reassurance.
"Come on." He said to him, as he helped him to sit up. "You must talk to them."
Namjoon hurried to get up. Wiping his tears vaguely and walking with difficulty, but with a steadiness and determination he had never seen in him before.
Then, the four boys who waited for them outside hurried to stand up when Namjoon entered the room. They looked at him with deep attention, and stood very still, waiting.
And Seokjin, nor Yoongi wanted to venture to break such intimacy. They had received and accepted their own apology, and now it was the turn of their dongsaengs. They both sat, side by side, not saying a word, far from the commotion and yet very attentive to their sight.
They could not hear much more than a few words of the long speech and the endearing apology Namjoon offered, but they watched it all intently. The sympathetic gesture of their dongsaengs, the anxious postures, the shock painted in their eyes.
Seokjin felt his heart pounding in his chest. He, too, was expectant. He too would have wanted to rush everything and know once and for all the conclusions when everything felt so uncertain.
"They'll forgive him, hyung." Jin blinked, turning to Yoongi at his side. " Stop shaking."
"I'm not..."
"Yes you are, you're even moving the seat."
"How do you know?" Seokjin interrupted him, lost in his own train of thought. "That they''ll forgive him."
Yoongi shrugged, and turned his eyes to the front. Jungkook in the distance was raising his eyelashes at Namjoon's mute words.
"I just know." Seokjin didn't say anything after that. He wanted to believe that too. "I know them."
And Seokjin was about to say something else, but then he turned his face as he saw Jungkook impetuously throwing himself into Namjoon's arms, Jimin also moved to join in, with a little laugh that returned Seokjin's relief.
With the truest of happiness filling his chest, he soaked in the figure of the five bodies piled together so beautifully. By the giggles of his dongsaengs. By the relieved gesture on the face of their leader. So serene. So rested.
Yoongi was already sitting up to hold out a hand and invite him into the frame when his eyes widened in bewilderment at the sight of him, and he displayed it aloud:
"My goodness, hyung, are you crying?"
Yeah... Everything was going to be fine.