Chapter Text
10:22 AM
DeadorDead: hey Doppo
DeadorDead: Ramuda told me to tell you to tell Jakurai “Fuck you UwU”
DopeOh: got it thanks I’ll tell him this afternoon
1:50 PM
TinyBappy: Ichiro says ”imma beat Samatokis ass” please pass the message when you get a chance
SurvivalCookin: K
SurvivalCookin: he says ”just u fuckin try”
TinyBappy: cool
3:34 PM
DeadorDead: Yo have any of you seen a stray shoe around at your places?
TinyBappy: Uhh no??? How did you lose a shoe and not realize it?
DeadorDead: I dunno shit happens man
SurvivalCookin: No shoe here
DopeOh: Haven’t seen it, I’ll check when I get back
DopeOh: Oh also in Response to Ramuda
DopeOh: Sensei says “Get in line, twink” and also “hello Dice”
DeadorDead: DAYUUUMMMMM FUCK IT UP JAKURAI
DeadorDead: I’ll make sure to tell Ramuda
DeadorDead: Also tell Jakurai I say hi back
DopeOh: Just did
DeadorDead: Thanks
DeadorDead: Anyways thanks for checking for my shoe, keep an eye out
5:17 PM
DopeOh: Hey Dice
DopeOh: Is this your shoe
DopeOh: shoe.png
DeadorDead: YEAAAA BAYBEEEEEEE THATS MY SHOEEEE
TinyBappy: I’m still so confused about how you lost a shoe
TinyBappy: shouldn’t you be able to feel when one foot doesn’t have its wrapper
DeadorDead: WRAPPER???
DopeOh: yeah Saburo has a point
DopeOh: How didn’t you notice sooner?
DeadorDead: W R A P P E R?????
SurvivalCookin: shoes r quite noticeable ye
DeadorDead: ARE WE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT SABUROS USE OF THE WORD WRAPPER TO DESCRIBE SHOES???
TinyBappy: are we not going to talk about your lack of bodily awareness?
DeadorDead: we’ll talk about this later
TinyBappy: you say that like you’ll be seeing me later
DeadorDead: ye exactly I’ll be at your place in a bit I’m hangin out with Jiro
TinyBappy: wonderful :)
DeadorDead: for some strange reason I sense you aren’t looking forward to my visit
TinyBappy: for some strange reason I sense you are right
DopeOh: do you really hate him that much???
TinyBappy: no I just don’t like when Jiro does things he enjoys
DeadorDead: damn savage little man
SurvivalCookin: hey lil bro
SurvivalCookin: Samatoki says “yo where those cookies at, bitchboy” to Ichiro
TinyBappy: Ichiro says “fuck you I have customers who ordered earlier, you can wait like everyone else asshat”
SurvivalCookin: Roger tht
DopeOh: cookies???
SurvivalCookin: its buster cookie szn
DopeOh: ???
DeadorDead: yo you haven’t tried buster cookies yet?
DopeOh: no???
TinyBappy: so basically Jiro and I sell cookies every summer as a competition to keep us from killing each other
TinyBappy: we made it an annual thing and we keep track of who sells the most cookies
DopeOh: oh cute! So Ichiro makes the cookies then?
TinyBappy: yeah he taught us how to bake them but he always makes them anyways
TinyBappy: he says it’s therapeutic
SurvivalCookin: cookings like yoga 4 me
DeadorDead: so that’s why Samatoki angrily asked Ichiro about the cookies
DeadorDead: he’s the man behind it all
DopeOh: you know I’ve been thinking
DopeOh: it feels like we do a lot of communicating for the leaders
DopeOh: why don’t they have their own group chat?
SurvivalCookin: they tried once n Samatoki threw his phone
TinyBappy: yeahhhh the leaders are kinda at each others throats, they really only have insults to say to each other
TinyBappy: We kinda work as a buffer
DopeOh: that’s understandable with their pasts and all
DopeOh: Ok maybe not the leaders… but what about the 2s?
TinyBappy: We’ll Jiro is illiterate so
SurvivalCookin: ha same
SurvivalCookin: also Jyutos not v sociable
DeadorDead: I’m gonna be honest Gentaro isn’t very easy to understand when he texts
DopeOh: well at least Hifumis nice!
TinyBappy: how did you pull that one off
DopeOh: I used all my luck for it
DopeOh: literally all of it
DopeOh: not a single good thing has happened to me since then
DopeOh: ok so then
DopeOh: why are the 4 of us the only ones who get along?
SurvivalCookin: because we’re the third member of our groups which means we are slightly yet noticeably less popular than our bandmates and therefore the creators see less need to pit us against each other
TinyBappy: …
DopeOh: oh
DeadorDead: hey bud you doing ok?
SurvivalCookin: ye
DeadorDead: great just checkin
TinyBappy: back to the topic of cookies though
TinyBappy: Dice if you’re coming over you wanna buy some buster cookies?
TinyBappy: they’re only 350 yen a box
DeadorDead: sorry dude I already stocked up on buster cookies that’s actually one of the reasons I’m coming today
DeadorDead: to pick up my tasty buster bakes
TinyBappy: Oh ok :)
DeadorDead: once again I feel like my visit is not welcome
TinyBappy: once again I feel you are right
DeadorDead: sorry man Jiro hopped on those cookie sales real quick this year
TinyBappy: Heres the deal
TinyBappy: starting next year I’ll offer you cookies for 25 yen cheaper
DeadorDead: hm. Only 25 yen for the trouble of changing my dealer?
TinyBappy: 25 yen and I won’t tell Jiro What You Did Last Week
DeadorDead: you wouldn’t
TinyBappy: not if you buy cookies from me :)
DeadorDead: deal
DopeOh: what just happened?
DeadorDead: buidness
TinyBappy: buidness
SurvivalCookin: buidness
DopeOh: okay 😀
DopeOh: well Saburo if you’re looking to get some cookie sales I’d love to buy a few boxes
DopeOh: please don’t swindle me I’m not good at price hassling
TinyBappy: benefits of being a buster scout I guess
TinyBappy: Ichiro calls it “learning important entrepreneurial skills”
TinyBappy: Jiro and I call it “street smarts”
DeadorDead: if he’s teaching you street smarts has he taught you the ol’ 5000 yen in a money clip trick?
TinyBappy: unfortunately yes
TinyBappy: Lucky for you Doppo I have no intentions to exploit you
DopeOh: that’s reassuring
TinyBappy: how many boxes would you like?
DopeOh: I think 3 is good. One for me, Hifumi, and Sensei
TinyBappy: Oh Jakurai-sensei already has some
TinyBappy: we always schedule our yearly checkups around Buster Cookies sales time so he can get some
DopeOh: Wow ok he never mentioned that to me or Hifumi
TinyBappy: everybody’s got a secret little addiction
TinyBappy: my pediatrician’s is Buster cookies
SurvivalCookin: Stick w 3 boxs tho
SurvivalCookin: theyre good
SurvivalCookin: Ichis got that butter/sugar ratio gud
TinyBappy: yo Riou you want in on the cookie action this year too or are you just gonna mooch off of Samatokis supply like you did last year
SurvivalCookin: mayb Ill buy a few
TinyBappy: heck yeah
8:33 PM
DeadorDead: bustercookies.png
DeadorDead: I got them ASSETS
DopeOh: Oh wow those do look good
DeadorDead: here’s the thing
DeadorDead: you know how it rained last night?
SurvivalCookin: ye?
DeadorDead: so there was this puddle and I accidentally stepped in it on my way out which is fine and all but my foot felt a bit wetter than normal
TinyBappy: please do not imply what I think you’re implying
DeadorDead: I’m gonna be frank
SurvivalCookin: whos frank
DeadorDead: homie I left my shoe at your place
TinyBappy: it’s bed time I’m already in my PJs
DeadorDead: that’s ok I can stop by tomorrow!
DeadorDead: damn 8:30 is your bedtime?
DopeOh: wish that were me
TinyBappy: no you’re not getting your shoe back you don’t deserve it
TinyBappy: I do not understand how you could possibly forget to put on a shoe and just walk out of my house with one naked foot
DeadorDead: I ain’t got my shoe but at least I got them sweet sweet buster cookies
SurvivalCookin: who’s frank?