Chapter Text
Farah was staring out the window, hands sinking deep in her pockets, when Saul popped his head through her office door. He watched her for a moment, smiling at her bare feet. Her hair was not in a neat updo as she had had the habit of doing it recently; she had assembled it in a loose ponytail, and multiple strands were falling out of it. Long day, he thought, and he barely resisted the urge to set her curls free and watch them cascade down her shoulder blades.
“Hey,” he almost whispered as he entered the room, making her snap out of her thoughts. “You've been locked away all week. Come for a walk.”
Her default mode was to protest, but one look into his eyes had always been enough to make her weak in the knees and revise her position, even if she would never admit it. She nodded and put her shoes back on before following him out. The clicking of her heels in the deserted halls was the only sound giving rhythm to their walk. They squinted in unison once they left the building, the bright sun contrasting sharply with the dark, stony corridors of the school. They kept walking in silence, like they had so many times before, except it was not the comfortable silence they had been used to. Saul kept glancing at her, eyebrows knitted, while her focus was set on the great stretch of green in front of her. When had they stopped being comfortable with each other?
“I haven't seen you a lot this week,” Saul finally stated.
“We've both been busy,” she shrugged.
“Never stopped us before.”
The mind fairy answered with silence, not even flashing him a smile, and it was enough to make him grit his teeth. She had been avoiding him as much as she could and now, she barely acknowledged his attempt at conversation.
He stopped and grabbed her elbow. “Farah, what’s going on?”
“Everything's fine,” she answered, a tight smile on her lips. In the distance, the pond and the deserted Specialists’ platforms seemed to taunt her. She had only glimpsed at him training with Mina through quick glances through windows or on her way to the greenhouse, never lingering, but the mere sight of the platforms was enough to make her heart drop in her stomach.
“Well, if you're going to lie to me, at least try to block the bond. I know you're annoyed. I can feel it.”
She let out a long sigh and turned her back on him, walking towards the barrier. “I'm annoyed at the situation, not at you.”
“That's not how it feels.”
“Fine. I was annoyed at how easily you welcomed this whole plan, but I'm not anymore. Happy?” she asked with a quirked eyebrow.
He crossed his arms on his chest, taken aback by her biting tone and the foreign irritation rising and falling erratically in him. “It's a direct order from the Queen. What did you want me to do?”
“I don't know, just... not accept to replace me so easily. By a mind fairy, on top of that.”
Saul studied her, hoping to understand a little better what had gotten into her. The resentment he had just caught in her gaze before she turned it towards the horizon, the slight clench in her jaw and the thin line which almost made her lips disappear… The more he thought about it, the more he wondered if Mina was not right, after all. Maybe there could be something.
“Are you jealous, Miss Dowling?” he asked, a small smirk brightening up his face.
The glare she shot him wipe the smirk off his face in an instant. And there it was again, the flicker of hope. It was getting harder to blow it off as usual when her behaviour had “jealousy” written all over it. Maybe this time, he would let it ignite and burn inside him until it would become unbearable to keep it contained. See what would happen.
She mirrored his stance and crossed her arms on her chest, her eyes rolling before she could repress it. If it were not for her annoyance, he would have burst into laughter. He wished she could see herself through his eyes so she could understand how stupid it was. How could she be jealous of ordinary people when she was anything but ordinary? Farah Dowling was generous, caring, powerful and fierce; he would go to Hell and back with her and for her. No one could ever measure up to her in his eyes, as a partner or as the one person he would happily give his life for.
“Do you remember in third year when I sprained my ankle and you had to train with someone else?”
She nodded, her lips twitching at the memory.
“How did it feel?”
“Wrong,” she answered bitterly. Rosalind had made her train with Oona, a strong redhead whose sole motivation had been to be in the former Headmistress’ good book. Their sessions had been brutal, to say the least, and they never came close to connect the way she and Saul did, leaving her bruised and hollow for weeks until Saul’s recovery.
“Precisely. Don’t think for a second that I’m enjoying this. I’d never let anyone else have my back in a real fight, Farah,” he said, cocking his head.
She finally resigned herself to look at him properly, his words softening her features and comforting her aching heart.
“But,” he continued, “At this point, there is nothing we can do besides roll with it. I don't do this because it's fun, you know.”
Farah was aware that, rationally, she had no right to hold it against Saul or Mina. All of this was only happening because of the Board's infuriating need to establish their authority and Luna's show-off nature. There was nothing rational, however, about the tight grip on her chest or the lump in her throat each time her eyes landed on the two shapes sparring in the distance, one of them buzzing with the warmth of familiarity, the other one feeling painfully out of place. Each time, they were inevitably better at it, so each glance felt like a fresh wound rubbed in salt.
Yes, she was jealous. Maybe her possessiveness pointed towards something more than friendship. But there was no way she would put their relationship on the line, so she would suck it up and put up with this situation until the big show at the Palace; then everything would come back to normal.
“You’re right,” she sighed, “I’m sorry.” She glanced at him, the setting sun bathing him in its golden light. She only noticed then his drawn features and his stubble slightly longer than usual. The long training hours, not only with Mina but also with the two overexcited students who had been selected to accompany him in his demonstration, began to leave marks on his handsome face. The exercise was challenging, tiring, and probably irritating up to a point, but it did not seem fun. Fun did not leave such marks on your face and Saul did not need her to add to it with her unreasonable behaviour. Guilt slowly crept on Farah and shoved Jealousy aside, her lips stretching in a sheepish smile.
“I missed you,” she admitted, her gaze dropping on the grass.
The confession made his heart miss a beat, lifting a little of the weight that had piled up on his shoulder during the past week.
She set in motion, walking back to the school, and he followed her close, his arm almost brushing hers. Maybe Mina was right, he probably tended to shift towards her. After years of whispering “Stay close” in the suspended moment in time right before hell broke loose and the dark creatures of their past started pouring around them, years of repeating the mantra each and every time as he tugged on her arm or stepped backwards so they were back to back, ready for the next assault, maybe they gravitated towards each other without noticing; the habit being so rooted in them they could not function any other way even if they wanted to.
“Missed you too,” he offered, bumping her shoulder. As her eyes shot up and she delighted him with a bright, warm smile that could melt any glacier, he was once again struck by how gorgeous she was. He would never want to not be close to her, ever.
**********
The last few days had passed in a blink, mostly because Farah had been busy supervising the renovation of the classrooms on the second floor. Probably also because time passed quicker when you were not counting the minutes and dreading to see two shapes training in the distance every time you stare out the window. With the arrival of the students chosen to help Saul in his demonstration, his time to practice with Mina had been considerably reduced, much to Farah’s relief, since he had to supervise their training as well to make sure they would be back into shape for the big day at the Palace. Not clenching her teeth everywhere she went undeniably made it easier for the Headmistress to navigate her daily life, until this afternoon when Saul, Mina and the students had left early for the solarian Palace.
And here she was, a glass of expensive champagne in one hand raised at lips level, the other resting in the crook of her bent elbow, answering the questions of a man whose name she had already forgotten. The Queen had made a brief speech once the demonstration had been over, introducing the Headmistress properly and promising Farah would answer any questions. Every single person present had turned their gaze towards her, and her chin held high might have fooled them, but any empath in a five miles radius would have vibrated with how much she hated being the center of attention. Unlike her Majesty, she thought bitterly. Luna’s exhibition had been over for twenty-five minutes now and Saul was nowhere to be seen yet. She was losing patience, the urge to grab him and leave overwhelming her.
At the other end of the room, Saul scanned the crowd as he and Mina entered the ballroom unnoticed, thanks to a well-hidden door used generally by the staff. His eyes stopped on a woman’s back, a gold zipper traveling along her spine and stopping in the crook of her lower back, almost begging to be unzipped. Exactly who he was looking for.
“Close your mouth, you’re going to drool everywhere,” Mina teased before walking away.
The forest green dress Farah was wearing hugged her figure in all the right places and he had to take a deep breath in to compose himself before walking to her. The closer he got, the more he noticed the tension in her shoulders, and when he focused on the bond, the oppressing weight of anxiety rushed through it with the strength of a torrent. It was not surprising though, the fairy might well be at the head of the most renown school of the Other World and she might have made a name for herself as Rosalind’s protégé, there was nothing she dreaded more than being put on the foreground.
A long sigh escaped her lips as a wave of utter calm washed over her unannounced, earning her a questioning look from her interlocutor. There was no need to wonder where it came from; the warmth spreading comfortingly in her chest was more than familiar. Farah excused herself and turned around, needing only a second to lock eyes with the source of it all. She noticed Saul had traded his Specialist outfit for a black suit, and she could not help the smirk that crept on her face upon seeing his obvious unease.
“You look very smart,” she teased, eyeing him down. The royal blue suit complimented his grey eyes in the best way, making them even more piercing than she ever presumed possible. As dashing as he looked in his casual outfits, there was something about formal wear that made him devastatingly attractive.
“I hate it,” he grunted.
“Don't, it suits you. No pun intended.”
“Stop,” he rolled her eyes at her. “Old Herbert is coming this way,” he said, looking behind her. He hastily snatched the glass in her hand to put it on the nearest high table. “Come on!”
He grabbed her by the hand and dragged her to the middle of the dance floor without giving her a chance to protest. His hands then settled on her lean waist, the fabric of her green dress smooth under his fingertips, and her hands naturally looped around his neck, as if they had done this time and time again.
“Sorry, but you know nobody can stop him once he starts talking.”
“Yes, I very much know, I was stuck with him for 30 minutes before the little show.”
“Speaking of... How do you think it went?” Saul asked, eager to receive her feedback on the event. She might not have liked the idea of it, the stakes were quite high for him. He could not picture himself doing something other than teaching at Alfea and truthfully, it was not just because of his love for educating the next generations.
“It wasn’t a total disaster, I guess,” she shrugged.
If she had to be honest, she would say it went pretty well. Her eyes had not left the members of the Board during his sparring demonstrations with the students, and she swore at least two of them had nodded with what she assumed was approval. Then, the demonstration with Mina in the gardens had won a few admirative gasps from the guests, which was a good sign, of course. Still, the loud claps at the end had pierced through her like daggers and the only thing in her mind, besides the relief that this absurd exercise was over, had been how much louder they would have clapped if they had seen Saul and herself in action.
He slowed down their rhythm to study her face, his eyes trailing off on her lips pressed in a thin line, which contrasted sharply with her indifferent tone. “You really are jealous,” he stated, slightly dumbfounded.
She let out a frustrated sigh, scowling at him. “Would you drop it? The whole thing's over, anyway.”
“Alright, fine,” he conceded, drawing her closer to resume their dance. “Besides, 's not like you have reasons to be,” he added, his eyes locking with hers. “No one compares to you, Fa,” he breathed, almost like a secret whispered in the night.
Farah found herself unable to say anything, drowning in the depth of his eyes and of everything held within their grey sea. She hoped the longing she was deciphering was actually there, and not just her wishful thinking. But the way he had tightened his grip on her waist, almost imperceptibly, and the way his breath was slightly shorter now that he had spoken told her she was not making things up. Her hands had moved instinctively to cup the nape of his neck and Saul wondered if he was imagining the pressure on it or if Farah really was drawing him closer. But the twinkle in her hazel eyes and the sharp inhale she had just taken told him it was not just in his head.
A raucous laughter suddenly echoed around them, snapping them back to reality. Farah glided her hands on his shoulders and gently pushed him back, now very aware they were in the middle of the crowded ballroom of the solarian Palace.
“Let's go get some air in the gardens,” she offered.
They stepped through the heavy marble door leading to the immense gardens surrounding the Palace. Her high stilettos sank deep in the pastel pink gravels on the ground, giving Farah a good excuse to loop her arms in Saul's to steady herself. Hundreds of little beams of lights not bigger than fireflies were floating above all the different paths that converged to the central fountain, their dimmed light giving the location an intimate atmosphere despite its vastness.
As they walked quietly, letting the silence stretch infinitely between them, she tried to ground herself by focusing on everything she could sense around her: the warm summer breeze brushing against her bare arms, her heels digging into the crunching gravels, the fabric of Saul’s jacket under her fingers which curled around his bicep. Suddenly, something warm hovered over them: it was Saul’s hand squeezing hers. The warmth then spread in her chest and the tension in her shoulders vanished in a second, as if her body had recognised the calm waves he had sent as Saul Silva’s trademark before her mind even could. When she looked up to him, his eyes were still fixed on the fountain in the distance, as if soothing her was instinctive and the bond acted without him even thinking about it.
Farah did not say anything to thank him and instead, sent a short tug through the bond, like a grateful nod. A frustrated huff escaped her, and she stopped in her tracks, earning a questioning glance from the Specialist. They relied on the bond too much. They felt instead of talking; that was the essence of it, after all. However, it could be difficult to detangle everything mingling and mixing within them, even after years of connection. Whatever they picked up through the bond, it was not like an actual insight in each other’s mind. It seemed they somehow got lost in it, forgetting that sometimes, it was essential to put word on their feelings. It was time to speak up, now.
Heart throbbing in his throat, Saul watched her expectantly as she came to face him, her gaze fixed on his shoulder. She could not bring herself to look at him, certain her determination would waver the second their eyes would lock.
“I was jealous,” she admitted, breaking the lasting silence. Her voice was barely audible in the warm summer night, mingling with the gurgling sound of the fountain, the song of the crickets and the faint music coming from the ballroom, yet it was the only thing Saul heard.
“It doesn't matter if we're not at war anymore,” she mumbled. “You're... You're my partner. And I don't want to share you. On the field or... in any other way.”
The tiny spark of hope Farah usually awoke in him simply with her smiling eyes or the tone of her voice burst within him, giving life to a full-fledge fire he would be consumed by with great pleasure. That was it. That was the moment to let it burn and see what happened.
Her gaze flickered for a second from his chest to his face, just long enough for her to see a smile form on his lips. Saul shook his head, unable to contain a chuckle. Reducing the distance between them, he gently took one of her hands in his, uncrossing her arms.
“Farah,” he began, waiting for her to hold his gaze. “I'm all yours,” he shrugged, his smile growing bigger at the clear surprise taking hold of her face. “Always have been.”
It only took her a second to get a hold on herself and bridge the remaining gap between them, tugging at Saul's hand to get him closer. They both inhaled sharply, more in sync than ever, before their lips met, brushing tentatively. After what felt like only a second, Saul pulled away and gave her a questioning glance, as if he were asking for her permission to fully capture her lips. She responded by cupping his face, her lips crashing fiercely on his. His arms circled around her, flushing their bodies together and when it became impossible to be closer, his fingers sank desperately in the crook of her waist, as if squeezing it would somehow make her melt into him. Her thumbs caressed his stubble as she deepened the kiss, their hot breaths mingling together, and she smiled at the rough sensation under her fingertips.
“I can’t think of a time where I didn’t want to do this,” he whispered.
“Can’t think of a time where I didn’t want you to do this,” she retorted, as a laugh shook his shoulders.
She slid her arms around his neck, lazily resting them there, crossed at the wrists. She bit her bottom lip as she reflected on her last conversation with Ben and pondered whether she should ask Saul what his take on their connection was. The way he looked at her, his clear eyes full of genuine adoration, made the decision easy.
“Did you ever wonder if your feelings were somehow… forced because of the bond?”
He frowned for a second, making her heart miss a beating.
“Well, we didn’t bond right away, and I was… infatuated well before that.”
A tinkling laugh resonated in the gardens as Farah threw her head back. “Infatuated? You spend too much time around Ben.”
Saul shook his head, unable to repress a smile. “Mock me all you want, Headmistress, I mean it. I don’t love you because we’re bonded,” he stated, seriousness filling his eyes. “I love you because you’re the most amazing person I know. The bond is just… a weird bonus.”
It sounded so simple the way he said it. So plain and genuine. She felt a little silly now to have doubted of the heartfelt nature of the feelings they both obviously shared.
“That’s one way to put it, yeah,” she conceded, her lips still stretching widely.
She really was gorgeous. Her smile had been such a rare sight for so long, it was probably Saul’s favourite thing to witness. He scanned every inch of her face, taking mental notes of each crinkle and every mole, as if he had not done that every time he had laid eyes on her. It was the first time he could do it while holding her close like that after kissing her, though, and that simple fact made him slightly dizzy. The urge to make sure it was real seized him, and without warning his lips found hers with a puzzling fervour.
The cold zipper was teasing him as his hands roamed all over her back, reminding him of how long he had waited for this exact moment. He almost groaned, the frustration of not being able to tear off her clothes right there and then growing with the desire to do so. She smiled on his flushed lips, barely able to believe what they were doing.
“Do you think we can slip away without anyone noticing?” she asked him, heart pounding furiously in her chest as they rested their foreheads on each other’s. Neither of them seemed ready to fully break their embrace and in that moment, it did not matter where they were or if someone witnessed their intimate exchange.
“Probably,” he whispered, “but Luna would be pissed.”
“Good,” she groaned.
He chuckled, drawing his head back so he could look at her. “We should at least say goodbye. I wouldn’t be surprised if she took the job away from me just because we were rude.”
“Let’s find her and get out of here,” she pleaded.
He nodded and offered her his arm, ready to go and face the room filled with faces they had no wish to see. “For the record, I love you too,” she said casually, before setting in motion. Yet her heart was racing faster than she could ever remember.
Saul smile at her faked composure. She was so nervous he could feel the sudden rush of adrenaline flowing through him. Silly fairy, he thought, before kissing her temple. Farah closed her eyes as his lips touched her skin, embracing how natural this new level of intimacy felt.
Unfortunately, the Queen made them stay for another hour before they were free to go, insisting they went around the room and threw their warmest smiles here and there. The constant motion the Specialist made to check his watch earned him a few funny side eyes from the guests, who probably interpreted it as a strange twitch. As soon as the mandatory hour had passed, Saul pressed his hand on Farah’s low back to guide her away from the crowd. The pair exited the Palace without a look back, accompanied by the music growing quieter, the fairy’s arm looped into her Specialist’s. Her fingers dug in his biceps through his jacket, silently asking him to slow down a little as she could not walk as fast as him. Bloody heels.
**********
When Ben dropped off Sky the following morning, he smirked at the pair of black and gold stilettos abandoned next to the couch before throwing Saul a knowing look. It warmed Ben’s heart to know his friends had finally allowed themselves the happiness they deserved with each other. Farah popped her head through the kitchen door to greet them, radiating with peace. Happiness definitely suited her better than the sour expression she had adopted in the past days. She gave him a swift nod as Sky raced to her, too happy to have his auntie with them for breakfast. He nodded back, the smirk turning into a genuine grin. It seemed the two idiots had finally let go of whatever stupid reasons they held on to which prevented them to cross the line. Anybody who would observed them as he had during all these years would have come to the same conclusion: Farah and Saul were simply meant to be.