Chapter Text
They did not go back to Yavin.
Luke took control of the Crest as they left Nevarro, steering them back twords that out of the way swampy system that Din had only just been at days ago. Din did not try and stop him. He only took a seat beside Luke, holding his hand out in a quiet offer of comfort and stability.
“He took my light saber,” Luke said anyway.
Din nodded.
Understood without needing more words.
—
If Master Yoda looked surprised to see them again, he didn’t show it. He let them both into the hut, now cramped and crowded and nearly too small to hold all three of them, and waited for one of them to speak first.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Luke demanded.
Master Yoda blinked slowly, and did not answer for a long time. But Luke did not move on. He let the question linger until it grew heavier and heavier until even Din could start to feel the weight of it.
“Too dangerous, it would have been.” He finally answered. “Even now, strong, your bond with your father grows.” He paused, frowned. “But strong as it should be, it is not.”
He looked to Din first, then to Luke’s gloved hand.
He was wearing one of Din’s spare leather gloves, slipping on by Din when Luke woke from a nightmare and tried to rip the synthetic skin off. He would have, if it had not been for the beskar weaved throughout. Din had held his husband close while Luke struggled and fought and tried desperately to return to the waking world, while he gasped and sobbed and relived moments and memories that Din had not been there for. That he desperately wished he had been there for because this was the first time they had seen eachother since Tatooine, when Luke went off to rescue a Princess and Din stayed behind with Beru, when Luke found himself pulled into fighting rebellions and Din stayed behind to care for their tribe because they’re more important than a war, Din. Don’t follow me to this, not when I’ll be back.
But what about you? Din had wanted to ask. He had wanted to scream it, to hold Luke close and follow him to the ends of the galaxy because Don’t you know you’re more important to me than all of this?
I know, Luke had said anyway. I know and I love you so fucking much.
“But why you are here, this is not.” Yoda finished.
“No.” Luke agreed. He shifted in the chair he sat in, far too small for him, and Din reached forward and took Luke’s hand in his from where he sat on the floor next to Luke. Yoda glanced at their hands, and Din squeezed a little tighter. Luke squeezed back and stared Yoda down. “Vader took m—the light saber.”
Yoda’s face went through several complicated emotions that Din could not completely name. There was, for a moment, joy at the news, leftover from a long forgotten past. Then a bone deep sorrow, an old regret that had neve been forgiven. “I see.” Yoda said. He looked down at the floor of the hut, his shoulders sagging with each breath he took. He looked so tired, and for a moment Din almost felt sorry for the old Jedi. “With this, help you I cannot.”
“Why not?” Din snapped out before Luke could. “You’re supposed to be helping him learn, aren’t you?”
Yoda turned to look at him.
“Different, the ways of the Jedi and Mandalorian are.” He said. There was a frown on his face now, a quiet look of irritation. “On his own, Luke must build his lightsaber. Not together.” He paused for a moment. “A kyber crystal, you will need.”
There was an odd sort of sorrow in those words. Almost like a mourning song.
“Gone, they all are.” Yoda finished.
“What do you mean gone?” Luke asked. He leaned forward in the chair, dragging Din with him.
“Stolen from us, they were.” He looked at Din again. He tilted his head, eyes lingering on his helmet. “Much like your beskar was.”
For a moment, Din could understand the old Jedi’s bitterness. His fear and stubbornness to cling to what he had known for so long. But that wasn’t how you survived. That’s what the Armorer had told him the night Din took his first bounty, the night he got his armor. Tradition was the smooth river stones in the bend of the waterways, the people the water that flowed over them. Always moving, always changing, but always touching the heavy stones that made them who they were.
“Where can I get one?” Luke continued when Yoda didn’t.
“You can’t.” Yoda said. He tore his eyes away from Din and settled them back onto Luke. His voice was harsher now. “Taken all of them, the Empire has.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t get them back,” Din said softly. “They’re not lost to you.”
Yoda did not answer.
“Tell me where I can get one.” Luke repeated.
“Ilum.” Yoda finally said. “But nothing, you will find.”
—
Ilium was an ice covered planet swathed in an endless blizzard, cold enough to freeze the air as it left your lungs, and when they landed and left the Crest there was a moment where Luke didn’t move at all.
He stared out at the endless sea of white, eyes wide and seeing things that weren't there.
It took Din a moment, but then he remembered all their holocalls while Luke had still been on Hoth. How he had laughed off his encounter with the snow beasts even though he kept looking over his shoulder when the sun fell, how he had asked Din to stay on the call with him until he fell asleep, how he had burrowed underneath his blankets to find any scrap of warmth, how he had told Din to stay away even when he asked Din to come when he woke from dreams.
“Hey,” Din said softly. “I’m right here, Luke. I won’t leave you.”
Luke looked at him with wide eyes.
“I won’t leave you.” Din repeated. He took hold of Luke’s hand, squeezed it tight. Even standing this close, it was almost impossible to see Luke while he wore his winter tactical gear. “I’ll be right here.”
Luke nodded once, held Din’s hand tightly enough that it ached, and they walked into the ice caves of Ilum while a blizzard raged around them.
—
Something about this place didn’t feel right.
It was cold and empty. Full of heartbreak and loneliness and pain. Luke struggled to breath as he walked through these deathly silent caves, couldn’t quite keep his balance as he stumbled over worn and unfamiliar paths.
He felt sick.
Dizzy.
Luke stumbled, throwing out his hands to catch himself on the wall before he fell. The snow was a shocking cold even through the thick fabric of his gloves, seeping into his bones like water.
It was then that he realized Din was gone.
Luke hadn’t even felt his hand slip from his.
—
Din could hear whispers of ancient things. Forgotten things.
“Luke?” He called softly.
But Luke was gone. He had been there a moment ago, squeezing Din’s hand tightly enough to hurt. Then he had tripped and stumbled and when Din went to catch him and help Luke right himself all Din held in his arms was empty air.
“Luke?” Din called with more urgency.
Come closer
Din snapped his head back around. He saw nothing but the icy walls of Ilum’s caves. A shadow flickered across a clearer patch, running water that had frozen over a forgotten crevice. It was like the fluttering of wings, like smoke from the forge’s fires.
Closer
Din took a step forward.
The snow cracked beneath his boots.
—
You look frightened
Luke whipped around. All that was there was snow covered walls and icicles. He could hear water dripping, a steady sound in his ear.
“Din?” He called softly. The dripping of the water was louder.
He is not here
Luke swallowed. He took a step forward, dragging his hand along the wall. The paths he walked upon were smooth now. “Where is he?”
The same place you are in, little Jedi
—
Gar cuyir mar’eyir
“Luke!” Din called for his husband again. His heart was pounding in his chest, his voice hoarse from the shout. He hurried down another cavern, breathing hard and fast as the walls grew closer together.
Gebi’shya
“Luke!”
He is not here
Din snapped his head around. He was in a wide open cave now. He didn’t know where the voice was coming from. He didn’t know how he got here. “Where are you?” He snapped. “Where are you hiding?”
We are not hiding
We are only waiting
Ke’pare bid munit
—
“I don’t understand.” Luke wrapped his arms around his torso. Even in his winter gear, he was freezing. His breath fogged up around him, crystallizing into a thousand little stars. It was so cold.
We are not permitted to be with him
They are afraid we will taint him
Afraid we will take him
“Who?” Luke asked. His voice echoed in the empty tunnels. The walls felt so close together, yet so far apart. “Who are they afraid you’ll take?”
The Mand’alor
He is not ours to touch
Too entwined they are
Too tangled
Dangerous, to touch such a bond
But you have, little Jedi
Something warm brushed past Luke. He turned around to see what it was, but he was only met with another snow packed wall. Luke backed up, felt snow crunch underneath him as he hit another wall.
The Mand’alor is as much yours as he is theirs
—
“Where is he?” Din demanded. He took a step forward, the frost gathering on his armor cracking and falling off like snow.
He will return to you
Just as you have returned
Yaimpar teh te kyr’am rusur
“Where is he?” Even with the modulator Din could hear his voice crack, could feel it get stuck in his throat and refuse to spill from his mouth. Din took another step forward, then turned around to see where he had come from. All he could see was darkness. “Just tell me where Luke is. Please.”
Come closer
We will tell you if you come closer
—
Many of us are gone
Luke bit his cheek as a shiver rolled up his spine. He was not sure how long he had been wandering the caves. It felt like a long time. It felt like only a few moments. He was so cold.
But we will still be found when one needs to find us
“What?” Luke asked. His teeth chattered. His spine shook.
Look up
Luke did.
He was standing at the edge of a frozen lake, the cavern before him stretching on endlessly. And there, on the other side, he could see a green glow.
—
The crystal was a smokey black, cold even though the leather of his gloves. It seemed alive. Din didn’t know where it came from. He didn’t know where he found it.
“What are you?” Din murmured.
Old, weary, lonely—but not anymore. Now you are found, Mand’alor
Din turned the crystal over in his hand. The color shifted in the crystal like ink.
Find us
“Find who?” He asked.
“Din!”
Din blinked, startled and jerked. The crystal fell from his hand, burrowing back in the snow. He blinked again. He didn’t know what he was doing over here. “Din, look!” Luke came into the cave, cheeks rosy as a grin stretched wide over his lips. He was holding a crystal in his hands.
It glowed a brilliant green.
Din stared at it, then gathered Luke up in his arms and held him so so close. “I’m sorry,” Din breathed. The crystal felt warm between them. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Luke asked.
“I promised I wouldn’t leave you.” Din whispered.
Luke held him closer. “You didn’t.”