Chapter Text
It was fascinating how everything was the same and yet it all felt completely different.
They cuddled whenever they wanted, just as frequently as before, maybe even a bit more often now. They spent a lot of time together, shared practice sessions, went out for bubble tea, watched movies, helped each other study and always brought back both of their favorite snacks from the grocery store.
It had all stayed the same but the feeling of it was different.
Brett could slide his hand into Eddy’s whenever he wanted without having to worry about it, he could hug him or wrap an arm around him without wondering if he was being too intimate. He could tell Eddy he looked cute, that he was perfect, that he loved him without stopping himself at the last moment. He could steal his clothes, steal his food, steal his attention, do whatever he wanted without having to worry about revealing his crush.
He still caught himself hesitating for a second but then just did it anyway. It was well worth Eddy’s shy smile and proud grins. Well worth the kisses he sometimes got out of it or the whiney complaints when Brett wouldn’t stop staring at him. Well worth the kisses he could give as an apology and the pleased look in Eddy’s eyes afterward.
Their friendship had barely changed but now there was a lightness to everything. Brett felt no longer trapped with his own emotions, no longer suffocated by longing. He could breathe again, appreciate what he had and cherish it.
While most things had stayed the same, his worries had dwindled down into the little everyday things people were worried about. Did he forget his music at home for rehearsal? Where was his 2B pencil? Did he refill his water bottle? Would there be a long line at the cafeteria and would they be serving questionable chicken nuggets again?
No longer those existential crises. Was Eddy going to leave him the moment he found out he was in love with him? Could he remain as only a close friend and just never say anything? Was he allowed to take his hand without reason? What would he do if he lost his best friend?
Those worries had been banned from his mind. Sometimes they tried to come back, make him question what he had and if he had only imagined everything but he was quick to reassure himself with Eddy’s unwavering presence right next to him. It helped, knowing Eddy had felt the same way for a long time. Ironic almost, how people as close as them had managed to keep their most intimate feelings hidden from each other for so long.
Brett had the theory that both of them had been too blindsided by their own feelings and worries, too sure in their worst assumption about how it would turn out, that they had never even considered looking for hints. They must have been there, Brett knew he hadn’t always been the most subtle but he had never even considered interpreting some of Eddy’s behaviors as hints.
There certainly had been quite a few, they found out through long talks and discussions about their pining, but neither had picked up on them. They could chuckle about it now, with the reassurance that none of their worst fears had turned out to be true. Brett just felt an immeasurable amount of relief that turned him as light as a feather.
Eddy and he were so caught up in their own little bubble, they completely neglected to tell anyone else. Like… literally anyone. Not their parents, not their siblings, not even their friends. They just didn’t think about announcing this because, for them, nothing much had changed about their dynamic and the changes that did happen were apparently subtle enough that even their friends did not pick up on it for a while.
Most of them had only gotten to know them through university so for them, Brett and Eddy being a package deal was already normal. They had needed a little to figure out their dynamic, that physical contact like cuddling was simply something they did, that they usually showed up together and that they knew each other very well.
Everything continued as usual.
Brett didn’t realize they had neglected to tell anyone until a certain Friday evening.
Their friend group had planned a barbeque at the park. Some of them, those who had been blessed with an earlier rehearsal, had already set up the blankets and the little grill. Shaun was in the middle of explaining the important difference between crêpes and pancakes and Brett wasn’t quite sure he understood.
“One is French and the other is not,” Phoebe summed up and Shaun started his whole explanation again. Brett still did not understand but Phoebe refrained from trying to summarize it a second time so he was left clueless. The rest of their friends, those who had to stay late, arrived when the first pieces of vegetables and meat had already been placed onto the grill.
Brett almost didn’t hear them coming over the sizzling but startled slightly when Ray, Hyung and Emma suddenly appeared. He was about to ask where Eddy was when a pair of hands clamped down on his shoulders. He looked up and found him grinning down at him. They hadn’t seen each other at all since this morning which was quite rare so he couldn’t help but smile. Not that he would ever not smile at Eddy.
“Hello there,” Eddy said and Brett wasn’t sure if this was an intentional Obi-Wan reference or not.
“Hello yourself,” he said as Eddy settled down next to him.
Without thinking both of them leaned in for a much overdue kiss. It still managed to ignite a spark of excitement in Brett, just a fizzle of electricity rushing through his veins whenever he could do this. Sure, sometimes he considered it had all been a very indulgent fever dream but whenever Eddy leaned in he was more than ready to fall head over heels from him all over again.
The conversations around them stopped abruptly. All that could be heard was the grill’s sizzling and some cicadas in the distance battling for dominance.
Brett turned to his friends and found a lot of faces staring at him with an array of different expressions. He blinked back owlishly, needing a few seconds before realizing what might have caused the sudden staring contest. He looked at Eddy who must have come to the same conclusion if his wide eyes were anything to go by.
The cicadas were as persistent as the grill with their chirping.
In a desperate attempt to come up with something to say, Brett opened his mouth but his brain was unable to string any cohesive words together.
Alex, pressing an imaginary play button and pulling all of them back into reality, waved a pair of tongs from the grill in their direction. “Well, that’s new.”
Shaun frowned, also waking up from his pointed staring. “Is it?”
Several people looked at him.
“Have you seen them kiss before?” Phoebe asked, sounding both astounded and unbelieving like she was a wildlife photographer and had just found out kangaroos secretly enjoyed ballroom dancing and her colleague was not all surprised about this revelation.
Shaun blinked a few times. “Well, no, but… I just assumed.”
“Assumed what?”
“That, you know,” he gestured towards Brett and Eddy as if it was self-explanatory. “That they were together. I just thought I missed something but everyone else knew so I didn’t specifically ask.”
Brett would have loved to interject but again, his brain was still trying to process and it was awfully slow at the moment.
“What?” Hyung asked, utterly confused. “Am I out of the loop?”
“That’s what we all want to know,” Tijana said.
Everyone went back to staring at Brett and Eddy who both realized they had neglected one key fact about the change in their relationship - actually telling people. It had all felt so familiar, they had completely forgotten something quite drastic had happened. Getting together was sort of a big deal, especially to their friends apparently who had not been let in on this yet.
Usually, people announced such a thing. Some were quicker and more public than others but they had not mentioned it to anyone, now that they thought about it. Brett hadn’t talked to his parents or brother although they all had a good relationship and weren’t keen about keeping secrets. He should probably get on that sometimes soon. He didn’t want to hide such an important development intentionally, he had simply been too caught up in his little pink bubble. He didn’t think Eddy had told anyone either just yet.
They shared a look, trying to figure out what to say and who should say it. They didn’t get to a cohesive conclusion and while Brett really had no idea what to say, he thought he should at least try.
“Uh…”
“We just had our two-week anniversary,” Eddy blurted out, looking every bit like a startled dog who had been caught trying to sneak some food.
Brett actually very much liked the sound of the word ‘anniversary’ but now was certainly not the time to get mushy about such details.
Emma squinted as she processed. “Wait, so you’ve been together for two weeks?”
“Two weeks?” Shaun asked, completely baffled, discovering the kangaroos were actually hired actors and had fooled him all along. “I thought you’ve been dating since like high school?”
Brett didn’t quite know how to explain the situation. He opened and closed his mouth a few times while trying to wrap his head around Shaun thinking they had been together for literally years without ever questioning it.
Had they been that obvious? It had never occurred to him that someone might think they were together. Sure, they were close, shared a dorm, knew each other’s parents, did pretty much all activities together, had known each other for years, enjoyed each other’s company, cuddled and held hands…
The more Brett thought about it, the more he realized how easy it must have been for people to misinterpret their relationship. Even then he could not wrap his head around the fact that their friends might have misunderstood as well. Or they had simply picked up on all the signs and had drawn the most plausible conclusion.
“Honestly,” Phoebe said as if she had just come to a realization. “I think I didn’t really know what sort of relationship you two had but I thought it was something between friends and dating.”
Some others hummed in agreement.
“I’m actually not surprised,” Ray said, slowly finding his footing again. “I didn’t expect it to be that recent though.”
“How did this happen?” Sophie asked. “Two weeks ago was…” She frowned and then realization dawned upon her. Her face lit up with mirth and Brett removed his glasses to slap a hand over his eyes, not wanting to see the smug look on her face. Eddy looked between them questioningly. Brett just groaned while Sophie started snickering into her hand.
“Wait, was this like some drama type of thing where you finally realized you’ve been in love with each other for years but never noticed?” Shaun asked giddily.
Brett wanted to disappear and Eddy also looked a bit embarrassed. Sophie was, rather unsuccessfully, trying to stifle her laughter.
“That looks like a yes,” Alex deadpanned, giving Sophie a curious look but she only waved her hand dismissively. Brett was glad she wasn’t about to reveal his mournful gazing at Eddy over the firepit just a mere two weeks ago. He’d rather keep his painful pining to himself even if it had, apparently, been rather obvious.
“We… we took a while, okay?” Eddy croaked. He looked about ready to run which is why Brett acted quickly and grabbed onto one his arms to make sure he stayed put. He could smell the stress coming off of him but he did not want to get embarrassed on his own, thank you.
“Who confessed first?” Emma asked excitedly, leaning forward and even putting the bag of bread aside as if that would help. “This is so romantic, a love story in the making.”
“No, no, no you need to ask why they confessed now,” Phoebe said, patting her shoulder.
“Okay then when, how and why. In that order.”
“I can’t believe we’re only hearing about this now.”
“How long did you plan on keeping this a secret?”
“Oh dear, I want to hear this.”
Their friends talked all over each other, gaining a sudden interest in their new relationship all while Alex was busy trying to keep their food from turning into charcoal.
Brett didn’t even try to get a word in but Eddy looked completely overwhelmed. Brett attempted to calm him down by just being there but this time it was not enough. Something else must have gone through his head since usually, Eddy was quite capable of joining in on the jokes and teasing. This time, however, his scent turned sour which it usually never did and that alone was concerning enough.
It took a few tries but when Brett finally managed to catch his gaze, he was surprised to see him looking scared. He didn’t know what he was scared of. He couldn’t imagine Eddy being scared of their friends since their reaction to the news had been overall positive.
He gave him a worried look, silently asking what was wrong but Eddy had already decided that he did not want to talk about it and chose a tactic Brett was more than familiar with. The look on his face and his body langue told him more than enough so he was unsurprised to see Eddy shifting into a dog. He was, however, surprised that instead of coming to him for cuddles, he scurried away and went to lay down a few meters away behind a tree.
Everyone quickly fell silent, the previous excitement nowhere to be found. They shared some unsure looks amongst each other.
“Sorry,” Ray then finally said carefully. “We didn’t mean to make you feel bad.” The others agreed with quiet murmurs.
Brett still couldn’t quite tear his eyes away from Eddy but something didn’t add up.
He shook his head. “I don’t think it was that.” He squinted at the white snout still poking out from behind tree roots but then tore his gaze away upon finding no further clues. “He would have just straight up left then, not gone hiding.”
If Eddy couldn’t deal with a situation or felt uncomfortable he left. He was not one who would engage in confrontations and while their friends had teased them, there had been no malice there. Brett was pretty sure the two of them would have acted the same way had they found out two of their friends had gotten together after years of pining and people apparently half expecting it.
There must have been something else but he had no idea what it was.
Somewhat reluctantly, the picnic continued. Brett tried luring Eddy over a few times but he stayed curled up off to the side, looking like a pitiful marshmallow cast away. Everyone tried to get him to join with reassurances and soft words but he wouldn’t move. Brett occasionally saw him stick out his tongue and pant which could only mean he was stressed.
A paranoid part of him was already thinking about forced shifts and hospital visits again but he did his best to ban those thoughts from his mind.
It was only when it started to get dark, edges fuzzy and their circle of friends lit up by a few lights, that Eddy moved. His tail was hanging low and his ears were droopy when he shuffled up to Brett and carefully nudged his way into his lap. He was relieved to find out it wasn’t him who had fucked up somehow, otherwise Eddy wouldn’t have come for cuddles. Usually, he was more boisterous in his attempts though so whatever was bothering him still hadn’t let up.
That much became obvious when Brett put his hands on him for some much-needed pets and immediately felt him shaking. It came and went in spurts and you could barely see it but with his hands on him, he could feel it. Brett’s eyes narrowed in worry and he felt along Eddy’s body to make sure he wasn’t hurt somewhere. He needed to be sure, otherwise he’d book it to the hospital.
“You okay?” he asked softly while rubbing one ear between his fingers. The ears were especially soft.
Eddy made a whining sound which could mean anything but it didn’t sound very happy to Brett’s ears.
“What’s wrong?” he mumbled, mostly between the two of them, as he leaned over Eddy, squishing him a bit to help him feel protected.
All he got in response was a few more whines in varying pitches as if Eddy was trying to explain but had forgotten a dog was not capable of human speech. He snuggled closer and probably would have crawled into Brett’s hoodie if he had been a smaller dog.
“Okay, come here.”
So without knowing what was actually wrong, Brett just cuddled his overgrown marshmallow of a boyfriend and tried to make the shivers stop. It surely wasn’t because Eddy was cold, that much was clear. He still didn’t want to eat anything but he at least let some people pet him so Brett knew it shouldn’t be a medical emergency and that it also wasn’t their friends who had messed up.
When they finally packed up, Eddy wouldn’t stop circling around Brett like he was trying to guard an unruly flock of chickens. Even when he started walking he wouldn’t stop and sadly, seeing as it was dark and Brett had to put his foot somewhere once he had taken a step, sooner or later he was forced to step onto one of Eddy’s paws accidentally.
Eddy yelped shrilly, making everyone jump and sending a painful arrow right through Brett’s heart.
“Eddy,” he sighed, half apologizing and half exasperated. He had no idea what was wrong and the last thing he wanted to do was cause him any pain.
Eddy whined, tail almost disappearing and just pressed himself against Brett’s leg, no longer circling around him but walking right next to him. He said good night to their friends and Eddy scurried into their dorm as soon as the door cracked open. He jumped up onto Brett’s bed and huddled under the covers.
Usually, Brett was not too fond of having dirty paws all over his bed but he let it go with a sigh.
“Don’t you want to brush your teeth?” he asked, hoping normalcy would help Eddy feel better but he only got a pouty woofy from under the blanket. He huffed and left for the bathroom to get ready. Upon his return, Eddy poked his snout out from his cocoon.
Brett slipped in there with him and pulled him up against his chest, making Eddy the little spoon which worked perfectly when he was a dog. He nuzzled the top of his head and kissed the soft fur. He thought that would be it but Eddy whimpered and squirmed until he was facing Brett and shoved his face into his neck.
His heart ached as he pulled his boyfriend closer, stroking his back and humming softly. He still had no idea why Eddy was acting this way. He couldn’t recall anything happening or him doing something that could have upset the other. They hadn’t spent much time together today but that couldn’t be it. He had been completely normal until the grand reveal in front of their friends who had reacted quite well.
“What’s up with you, hey?” Brett murmured softly.
Eddy pawed at his chest.
“I can’t help you like this,” Brett continued in the same tone, heart aching. “I don’t know what’s wrong.” He vividly remembered Eddy cuddling and soothing him a few weeks back when he had been drowning in despair and sadness. He wanted to do the same for him, be there and help.
“Can’t you tell me?” he asked as he gently rubbed one of Eddy’s ears. “I’m here for you, you know? I don’t what’s wrong but I know it’ll be okay. I just don’t want you to go through it alone.”
A soft whine reached his ear, Eddy nuzzling his neck in search of comfort and he let him in hopes of this and his words being enough to convince him to open up.
He didn’t.
At least not that evening which Brett spent a long time just stroking his fur and perhaps tangling some of his undercoat but they could take care of that later.
They didn’t get to resolve the issue that evening but Brett woke up in the morning, limbs tangled and Eddy’s hair tickling his nose. He smiled softly, released a content breath and pulled the other a bit closer against his chest. Eddy didn’t move yet but Brett was more than happy to close his eyes again and snooze for a while longer. Their classes weren’t until later in the afternoon and not practicing as much for one day wouldn’t kill them.
He was only pulled out of his snooze when the mop of hair under his nose shifted and the arms around his middle moved to squeeze him like you would to with a stress ball. Brett would have purred, knowing the quiet rumble was calming and comforting to Eddy but sadly his human vocal cords were still not made for that. Instead, he simply nuzzled the top of Eddy’s head and breathed in the faint scent of his shampoo.
“You smell good,” Eddy mumbled into his chest, voice sluggish and brain still half-asleep.
Brett snickered, the very same thought running through his head. “You always say that.”
“Always true.”
They stayed cuddled up like that for a while, two bodies morphing into one with not even one inch of space between them. The sun trickled through the curtains and painted the opposite wall orange almost. Time was moving slowly, flowing along gently and yet it felt as if it was standing still, the moment caught up and frozen in a small pocket where nothing else mattered.
For this small moment in time, everything was just perfect.
Brett almost fell asleep again for a second time when his ears picked up a sniffle. He blinked his eyes open in confusion and then glanced down at the messy black strands of hair. He would have been fooled if it hadn’t been for another muffled noise.
“Eddy?” he asked softly.
With his arms around him, he could feel him tense up for all of three seconds before he deflated. He didn’t move though, neither letting Brett lean back nor allowing space between them. All Brett could do was run a hand through Eddy’s hair, scritching at the back of his neck and hoping it would help him relax.
“What’s wrong?” he murmured into tussled hair, the memories of the day before flooding back into his brain and the illusion of calmness vanished.
The answer did not come immediately so he waited. Eddy didn’t move for a long while but when he did it was mostly to smush his face further into Brett’s collarbone, hiding away and for some reason, it made him feel all the more protective.
“I didn’t tell them.” The words were muffled against his worn-out shirt, soft and hesitant.
“Tell who what?” Brett asked because he wasn’t sure if he was missing out on some important information or if this was something old they had talked out before and he just needed a reminder.
Seconds ticked by before Eddy mumbled against his skin, breath warm but voice uneven. “My parents. About us. Or Belle even.”
This was not something they had talked about before. It took Brett a moment to process and as he did that, he noted also had not told his family. Perhaps it should have been higher on his list of priorities but he had been too occupied with being blissfully in love.
Brett hummed after a second. “Okay… I haven’t either. Told my parents. I kinda just forgot, I think. Too much catching up to do.” He hoped that would get a positive reaction out of Eddy but he remained silent. There was more to unpack. He could only make his way through slowly. “So we can tell them now, or later.”
That didn’t get a reaction either. Brett wasn’t sure what to do so he waited, hoping he wasn’t missing something extremely important. He couldn’t think of anything but perhaps his brain was just awfully slow. Cat brains were slow to start up, as he had come to realize.
Or at least this was what he liked to use as an excuse whenever it was convenient.
Eddy sniffled which made Brett’s heart ache and him more frantic to figure out what the fuck was going on. He wished he could look at his face but with how they were still entangled and the way Eddy refused to move, he didn’t think he’d be very successful.
“I’m gay,” Eddy croaked.
“Y-yeah,” Brett said hesitantly, only getting more and more lost. “Me… me too?”
A heart-wrenching sound escaped Eddy and Brett could only pull him closer. This didn’t make much sense to him. Was Eddy unhappy about being gay? Was he unhappy with their relationship? Did he not want to be gay?
Brett may have had his gay awakening a while ago but he was no expert either. He’s had his small crisis but then he had put it away into a box because being in love with your best friend was a lot more difficult to deal with than being gay. Or those two went hand in hand and he had just decided to focus on the more familiar thing which had been his feelings for Eddy regardless of sexuality.
So anyone having a crisis or a reveal out their sexuality, he was not the most confident in dealing with that. He wasn’t sure if he had processed his own things properly yet so helping someone else through that mess looked like a daunting task. Yet, if Eddy needed a shoulder to cry on and reassuring words, he’d be and do that in a heartbeat.
Though it didn’t seem as if this was quite the problem they were dealing with.
“I don’t- I don’t know if they’ll accept that.”
Brett’s heart dropped and an icy chill crawled up his spine. The words shook something deep inside of him, rattling through his body and opening a flood of unfamiliar feelings. The existential dread a lot of children felt when they had to tell their parents about their own identity washed over him but as quickly as it had come, it ebbed away again.
This was not what he had expected. Partly because he hadn’t even thought about it. Not that he knew how his parents would react to him being gay but… he hadn’t considered the possibility of them not accepting that their child was allowed to love whoever they fell in love with. Whether that was a man or a woman.
His brain went through a whirlwind of thoughts and scenarios, trying to think back to instances where the topic had come up but he couldn’t recall anything straight-forward. At the same time, he couldn’t recall his parents, much less his brother, ever alluding to the fact that they would be against it. While his parents were a bit more on the traditional side due to their upbringing, they had never taught Brett to judge people and he couldn’t imagine them doing it either.
Then again, Eddy’s parents had always been more strict and tight-laced. They weren’t evil, they loved their children, but they did expect a lot from them. Brett had no idea what they thought about matters like these. He could recall them sometimes staring a bit when the two of them would hug or cuddle but they had never said anything against it.
While he wasn’t sure about Eddy’s parents, he just could not imagine Belle not being supportive. She loved her younger brother. Then again, Brett couldn’t imagine parents being unsupportive of the children they had raised for decades. And yet it had been proven time and time again that parents could be cruel even toward their own children. Knowing this, he couldn’t tell Eddy not to worry. He wanted to, but he couldn’t.
He didn’t know what Eddy’s parents would say but he knew his parents were important to him. Heck, he didn’t even know what his own parents would say but he couldn’t imagine them outright rejecting him.
Suddenly, Eddy’s behavior from the day before made a lot more sense.
“Did you realize that yesterday?” Brett asked carefully after sorting through everything, feeling Eddy nod against his chest.
“I didn’t- It’s gonna sound stupid but I never realized I was gay, I just-” a hiccup interrupted him and he made no attempt to continue.
“I had that realization pretty late as well,” Brett mumbled. “And I never told anyone. Thought it would make it too obvious if I did.”
Eddy sniffled into his chest.
Brett continued scritching his nape, thoughts swirling around as he tried to make sense of his realization. He was frankly not too worried about himself. He didn’t know how his parents would react but… maybe he was naive but he was confident they wouldn’t hate him for it. Maybe it would take some time to get used to it but they knew Eddy and they liked him a lot. Brett had never heard them talking about someone who was gay in a bad way and while that was not the best reassurance, it was all he got.
He was more concerned about Eddy.
“Do you want to not tell them?” he asked because if that’s what it took, he’d do it. He’d just continue being Eddy’s best friend in front of his parents, put up a bit of a charade and simply not mention certain things. He’d be more than willing to keep their relationship a secret if it gave Eddy peace of mind.
He might see it as doable and a manageable task for now but he wasn’t thinking about the future yet. Hiding relationships was never easy, especially from people who were as close to you as your parents and especially because this was a relationship for life. They may have only been dating for two weeks but this was it for Brett. There would be no one else besides Eddy and hiding it for their entire lives would mean a lot of sacrifices.
Nevertheless, he’d do it in a heartbeat.
But Eddy shook his head. “I don’t want to hide it.” His voice wobbled as he spoke and he sniffled again. “But I also don’t want them to hate me because of this.”
Two very reasonable desires.
“You don’t have to tell them if you think they won’t react well,” Brett reassured but Eddy shook his head again.
“I don’t wanna hide you.”
The rush of warmth reached all the way from his scalp down to his toes. Brett would love to purr up a storm right now. Maybe something did shift a bit in his scent because Eddy unconsciously stuck his nose further into his neck. If it meant he felt comforted and safe then Brett was more than happy to be scented all day long.
“Okay, that’s- Why don’t you talk to Belle first then,” he suggested. “If you want to.” Brett was convinced Belle would be a safe person to talk to.
“Do you think she’ll hate me?” Eddy whispered and Brett rolled on top of him, making him huff out a breath at the additional weight. He wiggled a bit so they were not quite as entangled and was finally able to look at his boyfriend properly. His eyes were puffy and his cheeks red. Brett cradled his face in his hands and stared into those sweet brown eyes.
“No, she won’t.”
Eddy looked unsure, eyes flickering but unable to look away. “You think so?”
Brett nodded. “I don’t think she could ever hate you. Would you ever hate her?”
Eddy shook his head and Brett squished his cheeks in the process. “See? I could never hate my little brother either, even when I want to strangle him sometimes and I’m sure she feels the same… maybe without the strangling even.”
A faint smile snuck onto Eddy’s face which was already a small success in Brett’s book.
“Okay? So whenever you’re ready and want to talk about it, you should talk to her. I can stay or leave you alone for that. Whatever you want.”
Brett almost melted because of the look Eddy gave him but in the end, he settled on simply smothering him with some kisses and more cuddles.
“Reminds me of the time when I was sick,” Eddy muttered after an eternity of Brett just lying on top of him, hands stroking along his back slowly. “You’d always lie on top of me then as well.”
Brett just hummed. It was the only truly good memory he had from that time period. Everything else had been dampened by the knowledge that Eddy had been in constant pain, unable to play music and mentally at his lowest. Their cuddling sessions had been a small glimmer of light during an otherwise rather dark time.
“Any particular reason why you do that? Because you usually don’t,” Eddy said.
There was a reason and Brett knew exactly why. Saying it out loud was utterly embarrassing though.
Eddy nudged him, clearly expecting an answer and once he caught on to something, he wouldn’t let it go. Brett grumbled, hoping to escape that conversation but it was futile. The more he tried to hide it, the more Eddy wanted to know.
“Come on, tell me.”
“It’s stupid.”
“Barking at birds is stupid and I still do it.”
Brett pouted but gave in anyway, just because he was weak for a certain someone. “It’s the same thing you do, you know? When you’re walking around me or when growl at people.”
It took Eddy a few seconds but then his eyes widened in realization. “You’re protecting me?” He sounded giddy and excited but also a little teasing.
“Shut up.”
“Aw, but it’s cute. Thank you for protecting me.” He nuzzled the side of Brett’s head while he grumbled into Eddy’s shoulder. “That’s very kind of you, I feel very safe.” This time his voice was genuine and it was enough to make Brett want to do this all the time from now on.
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••
Eddy did end up talking to Belle but it was around three weeks later. Brett had done his absolute best to just be a silent support and not pressure him into doing it any sooner than when he felt ready. He had watched Eddy going through a range of emotions during this period and while he was always there to talk to him, he felt this was something Eddy had to sort out himself to some degree before he’d feel comfortable talking about it.
He was mostly his usual self, joking around, stealing one too many sips from Brett’s bubble tea and complaining about the double stops that just didn’t want to sound right. But then there were moments where he’d tune out of their group for a little while and just stare off into the distance with a contemplating look on his face. Sometimes, when he and Brett were holding hands, he’d stare at those. Brett had half suspected him to be uncomfortable with these displays of affection after his realization but much to his relief, Eddy didn’t pull away.
He wasn’t afraid of random people knowing he was gay, he was scared of losing his family which was obviously understandable.
The next time he called Belle for one of their chats, he had Brett sitting next to him on his bed, theirs backs against the wall and holding hands. Well, Eddy was using Brett’s hand as a stress ball but he was fine with that. The number of times he had squished dog-Eddy and completely tangled his undercoat from frantic petting while dealing with stress should make up for one intense hand-holding session like this.
Belle immediately started telling Eddy about the invitation she had gotten to play the piano at a prestigious gala with several other great musicians. She babbled away about their rehearsals and the dress fitting they had and the hotel they would be staying at and all those amazing details. Eddy was obviously excited for her and engaged in the conversation but it was clear something was off.
Belle noticed this as well. While she wasn’t in the same country and couldn’t spend much personal time with her brother, she did still know him very well. After a few minutes, she fell silent as if contemplating and when she spoke up again her voice was softer. “What’s up?”
A flicker of panic went across Eddy’s face before schooling his features although it wasn’t a video call and Belle couldn’t see his face. “What do you mean?”
Two seconds of silence and Brett could imagine Belle’s typical ‘I know something is up’ look that she would give both of them whenever they had snuck around behind their parents’ backs. Thankfully she had never been a tattletale, always pretending she hadn’t seen a thing and moving on with her day.
“Something’s up, you’re way too quiet.”
“I’m just tired, I’ve been practicing Barber for weeks and it’s been awful.”
Brett snuck a glance at Eddy. That was actually true, he had been practicing Barber and the piece was a lot more challenging than the usual repertoire but that was not what was weighing on his mind this time. Both of them knew that and Brett got the sneaking suspicion Eddy would back out of telling his sister. Not that he wanted to force him to tell her, but if he didn’t do it now, he wouldn’t for a long time and Brett wasn’t sure that would be a good thing.
Belle saw through the excuse just as easily. “Sure, I know that but that’s not what’s up. Did something happen?” Her voice took on a concerned tone. “Do you have that pain again?”
The time period had been awful for her. Unable to come visit all the way from London, just hearing about Eddy’s condition from the few times Eddy was able to talk to her but primarily through Brett had been hard. She had been beside herself with worry, anxiously hoping for good updates but not hearing any for a long time. Any sibling would be worried in a situation like this and Brett would never blame her for contacting him a lot for any new piece of information.
Eddy closed his eyes and released a small breath. “No,” he murmured, not wanting her to worry about that because it had been an awful time for all of them. “It’s not that.”
“Did you have a fight with Brett?”
Brett’s eyebrows jumped up towards his hairline and he turned to look at Eddy who purposefully avoided his gaze. The siblings talked about him? How was this the next assumption? Had this happened before? Was this how Eddy was when things weren’t good between them? When was the last time that had happened? Had Brett made him upset?
There were so many questions but it was not the time to focus on those. Perhaps he shouldn’t focus on that at all because whatever Eddy told his sister in private should stay between the two of them. Obviously they talked about him. He talked about Eddy as well so it was only natural to assume he did the same. Hearing about made him curious but he wouldn’t pry.
“No,” Eddy said, almost quicker this time as if a fight with Brett was even more out of question.
“So then what?”
He picked at his dog-print socks that Brett had gotten him as a joke but he wore them all the time unironically. The silence hung heavy between the three of them and Brett couldn’t do much else than gently run his thumb across Eddy’s knuckles.
They shared a look and he inclined his head in what he hoped to be an encouraging gesture. Eddy didn’t look quite convinced, his expression almost pained for a moment before he hung his head in defeat and then stared at his phone as if to make sure it didn’t mean any harm.
“Eddy?” Belle prodded carefully, voice anxious. Who knew what was going through her head right now but Brett knew he’d be worried about such a reaction from his brother as well.
Eddy opened his mouth, struggling to get the words out. His hand was kneading Brett’s, short nails digging into his skin and then squeezing as if to apologize. “I’m… I’m gay.”
Brett allowed himself a small breath of relief and squeezed Eddy’s hand.
The silence that followed the admission was tense, Eddy didn’t take a single breath and he stared at his phone fearfully. It must have felt like an eternity for him but it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds before Belle's reply from the small speaker.
“Okay.”
Eddy stared at his phone, eyebrows slowly drawing together in genuine confusion. “What?”
“Okay,” Belle said a second time, voice light with no hint of negativity. If anything, it sounded like she was smiling. “What made you realize?”
Eddy looked at Brett helplessly as if that was not what was supposed to happen which would have been funny in any other circumstances but no one should laugh at anyone in a difficult situation such as this. As easy as Belle was making it and as much as Brett was thankful to her for reacting in the manner he had hoped she would, poor Eddy had not been prepared for this outcome.
“Did you tell him?” Belle continued without waiting for an answer.
This time Brett also stared at the phone with a puzzled look.
“Who?” Eddy asked, genuinely confused.
“Brett,” Belle said as if it was obvious. “Did you tell him?”
“What?”
“Oh… you didn’t?”
Eddy looked completely frazzled, giving Brett a helpless and terrified look almost. It took Brett embarrassingly long to wrap his head around everything and understand what was going on. The realization didn’t come easy and made him feel embarrassed on quite a few levels.
He raised their intertwined heads and gestured towards them to make Eddy understand what his sister was most likely alluding to. Eddy did not understand for several moments but when he did his neck and ears started getting red and a different look of helplessness overtook his face.
“I’m sorry,” Belle said, “I didn’t want to make you feel pre-”
“I did.”
“... huh?”
“I did tell him… well, he did actually,” Eddy mumbled, voice getting quieter with every word and ducking his head more and more. Brett couldn’t control the butterflies flying around in his stomach.
A soft gasp came through the line. “Really?” the previous excitement was back. “And what did you say?”
Eddy tried to hide behind his hand that was holding onto Brett’s, never letting go. “We’re together now.”
“Yes!” came the immediate response, loud and pent up as if finally, after years of practice you nailed that one really hard passage in a piece. Immediately afterward followed a more level-headed response. “Congratulations! I’m so happy for you two.”
Eddy allowed himself a soft smile though it wavered shortly afterward. “Are you okay with that?” he asked carefully, expecting something negative even after all this.
Belle with her superior older sister senses immediately realized there was a lot more to this question than what was being said. She didn’t go in on that though and just answered what her brother had actually asked.
“Of course I’m okay with that, Eddy. There is nothing wrong with being gay.”
Brett nodded his head in agreement.
“Or finally getting together with your best friend after years of pining.”
Eddy stared at his phone suspiciously, recalling everything that had happened and finally understanding the implications. “How long have you known?”
Belle giggled. “Well, I can’t say I’ve known per se since you never told me about it but I did strongly suspect it for a long time. You two were always very close and while that doesn’t have to mean anything there was just… something about it. It didn’t look like you knew though so I never said anything.”
In hindsight, Brett could see how she might have come to that conclusion. She was not the exception since even some of their friends had suspected them to be dating. Their pining must have been pretty visible for a lot of people and they had simply been too caught up in their own dilemmas to see it.
“Do you think mom and dad know?” Eddy asked slowly.
If Belle had been able to see it and their friends had seen it as well, wouldn’t their parents be able to do the same thing?
Brett glanced over.
“I’m not sure, they never said anything to me,” Belle said honestly. “Did you want to tell them?”
Eddy’s expression turned sadder. “I don’t know… I don’t know how they’ll react. I’m… I’m scared they won’t like it.”
Belle hummed. “I can’t say for sure either but… I don’t think they’ll hate you.” Eddy lowered his gaze but Belle plowed on. “They’ll probably need some time to come around and they might ask a lot of uncomfortable questions about grandkids and all that stuff but I can’t imagine them wanting to hurt you.”
“I don’t know,” Eddy whispered, voice weak. He hated that he couldn’t be confident and simply tell his parents. Either knowing they would be fine with it or being fine with whatever outcome himself. As strict and demanding as his parents sometimes were, he loved them and he didn’t want to lose them. He sniffled and wiped at his eyes.
Brett inched closer and bumped their shoulders together, Eddy immediately leaning more into him.
“It’ll be okay,” Belle promised softly. “If you want to tell them, we can tell them together. I’ll have your back, always.”
Eddy sniffled even louder.
“Hey, this is advice from your older sister; tell your newly acquired boyfriend to get his ass over to you right now for some comfort hugs.”
“I’m already here,” Brett deadpanned.
“Oh, hi Brett,” Belle trilled. “I heard you wooed my little brother?”
“I cried into his shoulder but sure.”
“How romantic.”
“It was sweet,” Eddy sniffled defensively, hugging Brett closer as if to prove his point. “And it’s been over a month.”
“I am deeply hurt I’ve only been informed of this now.”
“We didn’t tell anyone,” Brett said. “I haven’t even told my parents yet and our friends found out by accident. Apparently we don’t act that different from before.” He hadn't told anyone yet because it felt unfair to break the news to his family when Eddy had still been struggling so much.
“That I’m actually not surprised about,” Belle sighed before turning more serious once again. “Listen, Eddy, you tell mom and dad whenever you’re ready. Take your time and don’t stress too much okay? We’ll get them to listen and I’ll make them understand if I have to.”
Eddy nodded his head, simultaneously rubbing his cheek into Brett’s shoulder. “Okay… thank you.”
“Always. Call me if you need anything okay? And Brett-” He perked up at the mention of his name. Belle sighed. “I was about to give you the shovel talk but you two have been attached at the hip for a decade. I doubt much has changed. I trust you.”
“Thanks,” he stuttered, not having expected that kind of compliment.
Belle hummed. “Alright. I still have to tell you everything about that gala but that can wait a while. Talk to you later, okay?”
“Yeah,” Eddy croaked. “Sorry, thank you.”
“All good. Bye Brett.”
“Bye.”
The call ended and Eddy sniffled noisily. “Thank you,” he muttered into Brett’s neck.
He kissed Eddy’s temple. “No problem.”
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••
When Brett told his parents - or his mom rather - he blurted it out in the middle of a call. She went silent, her tale about the neighbor’s new cat suddenly no longer of importance. She remained silent for several seconds before finding her voice agoing.
“Since when?” Her voice was neutral.
Brett swallowed, heart beating faster despite feeling quite confident about his mom’s reaction before. “A month and a half… roughly.”
He hadn’t expected to get nervous but doing this over the phone without being able to see her expression made the whole thing more nerve-wracking. Besides, even when you thought something wasn’t a big deal, the closer and more real it got, the more frightening it turned out to be.
The seconds ticked by in the same manner they did during the last period before the summer holidays - agonizingly slow. Brett tapped his fingers nervously, already thinking about possible scenarios and how to undo his words. There was no way to take them back, to act as if he hadn’t said anything of the sort. He had never told anyone about his sexual preference so while it might already be a shock to hear he was in a relationship, it must be even more of a shock to hear he was in a gay relationship. Brett didn’t know if his mom has had any idea so while just one of the two might not have been too much of a problem, perhaps both of the same time was a bit too much.
Seeing as it was too late to take the words back, not that he wanted to, he couldn’t only wait in anxious silence. Like Eddy, he didn’t want to keep them and their relationship a secret but there was this small spec of doubt he couldn’t shake.
“That recent?” His mother sounded surprised.
Brett glanced at his phone in confusion as if that would make her see him and elaborate on what on earth that was supposed to mean.
She did so without needing to see him and cleared her throat. “I… sorry, I’m… I was expecting this to have been longer.”
The iron grip released from around his heart and was replaced with a certain lightness. She didn’t sound upset or angry. If she had been, he would have known immediately. “You too?” he sighed as he dragged a hand across his face.
“Brett, I’m sorry but as a mother, I do have certain thoughts when my son sleeps in the same bed with someone at the age of 18.”
His heart stopped for a moment before he could feel heat crawling up his nack at a rapid pace. There were just too many emotions rushing through him at once. “Wait and you didn’t say anything?”
“Well did you?!” his mom shot back, suddenly scandalized.
“No!”
She huffed. “You sure you’re not lying? Just because I never found evidence doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.”
So she had been snooping? Or waiting for something to happen? Brett groaned, thinking about his mom sneakily peeking into his room while he and Eddy were sleeping. “We just slept in the same bed, that’s it.”
“All cuddled up like two cats.”
“I am a cat.”
“Yes, you sure are one cuddly cat.”
Brett rolled his eyes at the jab. His mom was sulky because he didn’t cuddle with her anymore like he used to do when he had been a kid. They would curl up around one another and cuddle in the afternoon but at a certain age that just wasn’t cool anymore. Not that Brett didn’t still hug his mother but he had not cuddled her in a long time. She had her husband to fill that void.
“Mom, seriously, we’ve been together for a couple weeks. Nothing before that… why am I even telling you this?” His mom didn’t have to know whether or not he had slept with anyone.
“You sure?”
“Mom.”
“Fine,” she muttered. “Well, I’m happy for you two. Your father might take a while to digest the news. He swore up and down you two were just friends.”
His mood dampened. “But he’ll be fine?” Brett asked carefully. Fathers were sort of prone to take the news worse than moms, he felt like. Maybe this was just a coincidence and not actually true but who knew. It always felt as if the majority of men had certain negative feelings about their son coming out as gay.
His mom’s tone changed to a soft one. “Yes, he’ll be fine. Don’t worry about that.” She spoke with finality and it gave Brett some hope that even if his father wasn’t immediately okay with it, his mom would make sure he’d be. “How has Eddy been?”
He fell down the rabbit hole and talked about Eddy and their relationship for the next hour. His mother listened patiently, nudging him with a few questions every now and then but Brett spilled most of the details without her having to do anything, much to her delight. It wasn’t often her son was so willing to just talk for an hour so she enjoyed this rarity.
“So we don’t really know what they’ll say.” He had just finished talking about the phone call with Belle and Eddy’s worries about his parents, slowly coming to the end of his recap.
His mother hummed, having listened to everything patiently. “It sounds tough, poor Eddy. You take good care of him, yes?”
“Of course,” Brett said with a soft smile. He did not need his mom to tell him but she liked doting on everyone. Eddy had not been spared from it in their younger years just because he wasn’t her son. She had picked thrones out of his paw pads, had made him ginger tea when he had been sick at their house and had always pulled spare toothbrushes out of thin air because Eddy would forget to bring one every single time he had slept over.
“And you two are always welcome here if you need to place to stay while you’re home. Both of you.”
A soft warmth spread through Brett’s chest. “Thanks, mom.”
“You’re welcome. That’s a request for you to visit again, by the way.” Of course she wouldn’t miss the opportunity to remind him.
Brett laughed. “Yeah, I know. I’ll try, okay?”
“Don’t try, do it. Bring Eddy. My sister is calling. Be good.”
“I will. Bye, mom.”
She hung up, probably eager to talk about the news with her sister who was always hungry for new gossip. Brett shook his head fondly, feeling lighter after the call but also a bit guilty since it had gone so smoothly. He hoped it would be the same for Eddy.
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••
“You sure you don’t want me to stay?” Brett asked, hands wringing together nervously. He wasn’t being kicked out but Eddy had asked him to let him talk to his parents on his own. He wasn’t sure why but he would respect his wish if that’s what he wanted.
Eddy nodded, squeezing his arm reassuringly. “Belle is gonna join. I’m not alone.”
Belle was in London though. She had promised to be there if Eddy needed support and he had taken her up on the offer. Brett would have felt better being in the same room to give physical support if things got difficult but he could understand Eddy wanting to speak to his parents alone before bringing him into it. He had done the same so he couldn’t expect his boyfriend to be okay with it.
“You’ll text when you’re done?” he asked, making sure.
Eddy smiled and leaned in to give him a kiss, maybe to make Brett’s anxious brain shut up for a moment. “I will.”
“Okay… call me if you need anything?”
Eddy’s smile turned more amused. “Yep.”
“Or if you want me to come back.”
“Brett.”
“I promise I will.”
“Brett.”
He gave Eddy a sheepish look and the other rolled his eyes with a fond sigh. He got another kiss out of it at least.
“I’ll text,” Eddy reassured one more time. “Now go practice.”
Brett’s pout didn’t deter him from snickering and closing the door softly. He was left standing in the hallway of their dormitory, sulking at a wooden door and not having that many options. He could stay and try to eavesdrop while simultaneously invading Eddy’s privacy or he could actually be a normal person and use the time to get some practice in while he waited.
Obviously, he chose to be mature and sat outside on a bench, playing on his phone with his violin case resting next to him. In an attempt to at least do something, he tuned his instrument and played a few chords but his gaze was distracted by his phone every few seconds. He didn’t get very far and his scales sounded a bit sharper than they needed to be. Practice resulted in him sitting crookedly, neck at an awkward angle to hold his violin and stare at his phone at the same time.
Sadly it did not make time go by any faster.
Barely ten minutes had passed and he was already itching to go upstairs again. He wouldn’t though, he did have that much self-control. He was simply worried and didn’t know what to expect when he got back. Maybe they had been fussing over this for no reason, maybe they hadn’t thought about it enough. Both options were plausible but he hoped nothing bad would happen.
Surely he’d have to answer some weird and maybe too private questions over the next few months with his own parents but he’d take that over any ill will any day. He didn’t care if his father asked him how on earth they would get children and he wouldn’t care if someone asked him why he was gay. Questions could be answered, hatred could not.
For Eddy’s sake, he hoped his parents would see him just the way they had until now - as their son who was just as much a person and part of the family as everyone else.
Brett did manage to practice a bit more but as soon as his phone vibrated, he scrambled to look at the screen.
Can you come back?
The meaning of the message was rather simple but the implications, Brett didn’t know how to interpret them. Was it a positive message? A negative one? Was Eddy sad or relieved? He didn’t know and He’s only find out once he got moving. His violin was packed away hastily, tightening the strap across the finger board and then jogging back towards their dorm.
Even after so long the stairs still got him out of breath but he tried to suppress the heavy breathing as he carefully opened the door, peeking inside to make sure he didn’t interrupt anything.
Eddy was seated on his bed, playing with his phone, and looked up as soon as he heard the door. They stared at one another, Brett making sure to scan him from head to toe, especially his face.
It didn’t look like he had been crying which was good but looks could be deceiving. He put his violin case down next to Eddy’s and crawled onto his bed, arms open for a hug which Eddy leaned into without complaints. He rubbed across his back and nuzzled his hair for a while before leaning back and taking another close look at him.
“How was it?” he asked softly. He needed to know.
Eddy sighed heavily, eyes trailing off. “They weren’t happy.” Brett pursed his lips but let Eddy continue. “They asked some pretty hurtful questions like ‘Why are you like that?’ and ‘Why can’t you be normal?’. Didn’t really have an answer for them there.”
“You are normal,” Brett muttered quietly.
Eddy shrugged. “I don’t know. They didn’t disown me which is at least something but I think it’ll take a while before they will go back to normal.”
It wasn’t the best outcome, it could have been a lot worse which didn’t make it better but at least Eddy got over and done with it. He wouldn’t have to be scared of the unknown any longer.
“How’re you doing?” Brett asked, squishing him a bit.
“Not the best, not the worst,” Eddy said. “Was nice that Belle was there, helped a lot.”
Brett hummed.
“I don’t know if they’ll want me to visit any time soon though.”
“We don’t have to. We can just… let it simmer for a while and then see where things are going.”
“It’s probably for the best to just leave it alone for now.”
“Hey,” Brett nudged his shoulder and Eddy looked up at him. “They’ll come around. It’ll get better with time. Until then you have me and Belle and all our friends and my family if you want. They just need some time but they’ll get over it.”
Eddy rested his forehead against Brett’s shoulder. “Yeah, I hope so.”
“They will.”
And they did.
It took many months but they slowly started calling more often again, asking more questions which, sure, some were still hurtful but they didn’t intend them to be. They tried, perhaps not in the best way at times but they did.
Brett hadn’t interacted with them much. He didn’t want to add fuel to the fire by giving Eddy’s parents a constant reminder of their son’s boyfriend but he told him almost everything that happened. Belle had played a big role as well by trying to make her parents understand being gay was not a choice and especially not something bad or something you’d have to be ashamed of. Brett and Eddy appreaciated everything she did.
Eddy was ecstatic when his parents asked him to come home for Chinese New Year. Belle would be there as well and, much to everyone’s surpise, they also invited Brett.
“I told them you were my boyfriend but I think they just ignored that for the most part,” Eddy said when they were cuddling on the bed a few days before they would leave go back home to Brisbane.
“I guess it made it all easier to ignore.”
The laptop in front of them continued with the next episode of the series.
“Lets just hope they won’t get all weird around you. They’ve known you long enough,” Eddy muttered.
Brett chuckled. “They will probably be a bit weird but it’ll be fine. Maybe we shouldn’t kiss in front of them yet though.”
Eddy snorted. “Yeah, probably now. Gotta get all the kisses in before then.”
“Should we start now?” asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
Eddy scoffed but pulled him closer anyway. “Come here.”
Brett went willingly.