Chapter Text
The Doctor found herself sitting on the TARDIS’s steps, dangling her feet to the void. There was this spot she liked, no one was allowed to come this early, not even the TARDIS, who always threw tantrums and fire sparks. The only light sources were distant nebulas, glowing in soft hues of purples and greens and reds, and tiny explosions, like silent fireworks, contrasting with the darkness of the newborn universe.
“When are we?” asked someone, interrupting a rather deep stream of thought. It took her a second to recognize Yaz’s voice, sitting next to her without asking, close enough her thigh touched hers. She smelled like sleep, and her shampoo (coconut, flowers) (so good).
“Oh, the Beginning” said, smiling like she had the right to. Earlier things went horribly wrong, and although she did apologize, the guilt was still there, lingering, she wasn’t quite sure if things would ever go back to how they were before, “my favorite spot, it’s very early in the universe, there aren’t any planets or star systems yet. See that nebula over there? The green part is made out of oxygen, and the purple bits are nitrogen. That cloud contains all the ingredients to create life! Everything you’ve ever seen, touched, or loved , can be traced back to here,”\
“Amazing,” said Yaz, out of breath, looking up at the tiny mute explosions, glowing in color, “like fireworks,”
Yaz’s face was glowing in soft pinks and purples, and her eyes were bright, full of life and hope. The Doctor wanted to have her like this forever, in this moment, in this room, looking up at a newborn universe forging what one day will become her universe, what one day will give her Yaz. And it was in this quiet that she noticed the thud of her hearts, something new, and scary growing inside of her, premonitions of love creeping up her spine. Like she used to see her in black and white, and now she’s looking at Yaz in color.
Maybe in another life, in another time, she would’ve let herself indulge. There was no point in pretending, when truth walked out the well. Another explosion, brighter, closer. Yaz jumped, and laughed. The Doctor discreetly pressed her fingers in the cut left by the arrow, separating the flesh until she couldn’t take it anymore, and took that as a reminder, there’s no love in the end.
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