Chapter Text
Brinna leaned on the doorjamb of Gamlen’s house in Lowtown, leaning her weight on her left leg to give the other a break. Varric had left once he was sure she was home safely, though it took her a minute or two to convince him she was alright.
She closed her eyes and sighed, running a hand through her dark hair as she opened the creaking door and stepped into the dark, damp interior.
Three mabari barrelled towards her, but stopped short of knocking her over. There was Ronan’s brindled Whiskey, usually just called Whisk, and Leyna’s gold and white Brandy, and her seventy-pound runt Sherry, who nudged her hand sweetly and let her lean her weight on her broad back.
“Hi, puppies,” she crooned, petting each of them in turn. Stubby tails wagged furiously and the sound of panting and whining filled the house. “Miss me? Yeah, you missed me, didn’t you?” She grinned, feeling better already.
At first Leyna had been the only one with a dog, until the Blight; running from the destruction and devastation of Ostagar, Carver had found two wounded warhounds and brought them home to run with them. Each had bonded to one of them, and they’d continued the tradition of naming them after the empty alcohol bottles Malcolm had collected.
Sherry must have been the runt of her littler; she was small for a mabari, black on top with a white chest, face and paws, and she was the fastest, most agile dog Brinna had ever known. Sometimes, if she had to go somewhere on a bad pain day and couldn’t manage getting her brace on, Sherry would walk patiently beside her, letting her lean on her back to keep the pain at bay.
She scratched under her chin, then up behind her silky ears, and bent down to kiss the top of her muzzle. “Who’s my best girl?” she murmured. Sherry huffed and licked her cheek.
“Careful, Brin,” Leyna cautioned as she stepped into the main room from the back. “I don’t want you falling over.”
Brinna suppressed an urge to roll her eyes. “Yes, mother,” she quipped. “I’ll be very careful.”
“Brat,” Leyna snorted, crossing her arms as she grinned. Tall and tanned and lovely, Leyna Hawke was everything Brinna wished she was. Blonde, athletic, a mage, a competent fighter, a good leader. Though they shared the same warm brown eyes and long lashes, Leyna was beautiful in a way you didn’t have to look too hard to see. Brinna, well, you might see a pretty girl if you could get past the twisted leg.
Her oldest sister was perfect at everything. She wasn’t a bitch about it, though, usually. She just didn’t understand why anyone would be jealous of her.
Brinna loved her siblings. She did. She just wished they’d actually see her as one of them.
Sometimes she really missed Carver. Bethany too, of course, but Bethany had been a mage like Ronan and Leyna, part of their little group. Carver understood what it was like to live in a shadow. None of her remaining siblings understood that, because they were both the ones casting the shadows.
And Brinna, well, she was small enough to get lost in them.
“Where’s Ro?” she asked, sitting down on the single chair at the dining table. “Still in the alienage with Merrill?”
Leyna grinned and nodded. “He says he’s trying to do some good and help the elves. I mean, he probably is, yeah, but…”
“But he’s an idiot who can’t see how into him she is?” Brinna guessed, laughing. “She follows him around like a kitten…you know, kind of like Fenris does with you.”
“What?” Leyna’s eyes widened as she blushed. “Shut up. He does not. Does he? No. Fenris hates mages, and I happen to be-”
“He can hate ‘mages’ all he likes,” Brinna smirked. “He spends half his time staring at your ass, and the other half watching you with his ears down all sad like he thinks you’ll never notice him.”
Leyna sighed and ran a hand through her hair, golden locks catching the meager sunlight. “It’s complicated,” she said, pursing her lips. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”
And just like that, their playful conversation was ruined. At least it was to Brinna. Leyna had made her from a sister into a baby sister again. She stared at the ground, crossing her arms over her chest.
“If you say so,” she muttered. “Have you seen Alanis anywhere? My leg hurts.”
“You ok?” Leyna was all gentle concern, oblivious to having ruined Brinna’s mood. “I can get you some felandaris potion if you want-”
“No. No, thank you. I’ve had enough potions today.” She blinked and looked away. “I just need her ice magic to bring down the inflammation.”
“I think she’s with Anders and that dock worker in the clinic,” Leyna said worriedly, biting her lip. “I’ll go get them both, if you want. I don’t want you to be in pain.”
I’m always in pain, she thought, but didn’t say it. There was no need to horrify her sister with the realities of her daily life.
“Sure. I’d appreciate that,” she said softly. It would give her time alone to rest, at least.
Leyna clicked her tongue to call Brandy to her side, then stared at Brinna with a worried narrowing of her eyes.
“Brin,” she said softly. “Did I…I’m sorry if I upset you, really. I didn’t mean to.”
Brinna sighed and shook her head.
“I’m fine, Ley,” she muttered, watching a tiny beetle cross the dirt floor. “My hips are just aching, that’s all.”
“If you say so.” Leyna stepped closer and hugged her, kissing the top of her head. “I’ll be back soon. Be careful, and get some rest if you can.”
"I will," Brinna sighed. It would be much easier to hate her sister if she wasn't so oblivious and sweet about it.
Leyna left for Darktown, leaving her alone again.
Brinna lay down on the bottom bunk and wedged a pillow under her hip so she wouldn't wake up sore. She didn't really want to hate her sister. And she didn't hate her. She just…wished things were different.
Sherry hopped onto the bed to lay across her feet and keep them warm.
"Good girl," she murmured, blinking back tears of frustration.
She had to change things somehow. Even if it hurt.