Chapter Text
Chapter 25: Hand
Their return to the village had been tense. Waiting in the main building where Lexa met with the Trikru's leadership was equally tense. The moment they'd returned Lexa had ordered Indra to summon the leaders, even the ones who'd begun their journey home.
This wasn't something Lexa wanted to wait.
Not when someone had already attacked Clarke.
The blonde in question seemed fine. A little shaken, and her emotions were certainly a fluctuating pulse in the back of Lexa's mind, but okay otherwise. Certainly more calm than Lexa herself was. But then, Clarke hadn't been here for Costia. Clarke wasn't fully aware of what the ramifications announcing this would be.
Lexa herself was only mostly certain of the ramifications.
There was a reason she wanted to wait as long as possible. Keep their bond secret, protected, for as long as she is able. Had it truly been only a day since Lexa had told Clarke the truth of their heritage, of the lore surrounding their bond?
After the rush of fear and shock and nerves had interrupted the meditative calm Clarke had fallen into after lunch, time had seemed to blur.
The rush to get to Clarke. The realization of what was happening. The sheer rage that one of her own generals would attack her bonded.
Taking a controlled breath Lexa tried to settle her pulse. She had retreated with Clarke to her command tent after a brief word with Indra to explain what had caused Lexa to leave so abruptly before.
Now she worked to maintain her calm.
It wouldn't go well if Lexa showed emotion in front of the Trikru leaders. They may be more forgiving than others, but they were still of the mindset that your emotions were private things. Something to be displayed only among the safety of your family, your home, and not in the middle of a meeting about the future of the clan, the Coalition.
For that's what this was.
Revealing Clarke as her kreyon would impact both the clan and the Coalition, as the future of Skaikru would hang in the balance.
Clenching her hand against her sword hilt, Lexa is reminded of something else. She becomes hyper aware of the feeling of leather against her wrist as Lexa realizes what else she’d been ignoring. The poke of confusion over the bond tells her Clarke noticed the change in mood.
That was fine. Clarke was, after all, about to know why.
It takes but a glance and jerk of the head to have Clarke following Lexa into the back of the tent towards her personal quarters. There Lexa immediately moves to her trunk and pulls out a very slim, intricately carved, wooden case. For a moment Lexa just breathes as images of Costia carving flash through her mind.
An inhale from Clarke tells her some of the images likely made it across the bond.
That’s okay. It was time for Clarke to know more. Rather, they’d run out of time. Still, Lexa wanted to do this right.
Sitting on the bed, Lexa strokes the wood reverently. She knows Clarke is getting her turbulent emotions, her hope and worry and regret and fear, but for the moment she doesn’t care, doesn’t bother to muffle the bond.
The moment passes and with one more fortifying breath, Lexa carefully muffles the bond. Being but a few steps apart it only reduces the flow of emotions to strong spikes rather than the almost continuous flow it was before.
This wasn’t how she wanted to do this, but Lexa wasn’t about to introduce Clarke as her bonded without at least asking first.
Meeting Clarke’s gaze, Lexa speaks, even as she pats the bed next to her in invitation for Clarke to join her.
“There’s another tradition you need to know, when it comes to bonded. It's symbolic, meant to show our commitment. A way for others to know that we've found each other."
She pauses to breathe. The muffled pulse of reassurance Clarke sends over the bond is welcome, as is the arm across her shoulders from where Clarke settles in next to Lexa on the bed.
"Cost- Costia followed the tradition of hand making them for us. And she- she made three sets. These-" Lexa swallows as she works to keep the tears at bay, "these are yours."
Lexa breaks eye contact with Clarke, even as she offers up the case.
Clarke’s emotions are just as tangled as Lexa’s own, even with the bond muffled, but she takes the case from Lexa with great care. The slight gasp as she opens it to see the leather bracelets inside causes Lexa's heart to skip a beat.
“Lexa…” Clarke starts, leaning into Lexa as one of her hands ghost over the intricately carved designs on the matching bracelets. A mental poke of confusion over the bond requests more information.
Swallowing her nerves, Lexa elaborates. Or rather, she lays her heart out to Clarke in a way she hadn’t thought she’d ever do not even a month ago.
"Clarke kom Skaikru, by accepting these bracelets you are accepting your place as my - our - bonded. You are declaring your intention to stand by my side until we breathe our last. To respect and uphold our soulbond as sacred."
With slightly shaking hands, Lexa unties her own second band from where it's hidden among the straps of her sheath. It takes all of her willpower not to think about the emotions she's feeling from Clarke, and instead finish her impromptu speech.
"I know we haven't known each other long. And I know this is unfair to you, being forced into this, but...if you're willing…"
Lexa trails off, her hands shaking where they clutch her second band. It's barely a few heartbeats before Clarke's paler hand is resting over her own, fingers curling gently around Lexa's own. There’s a warmth spilling into Lexa through the bond now.
"Do they need to be always visible, something that we have to acknowledge if asked but otherwise don't mention? Is there supposed to be a ceremony that you'll get in trouble for skipping? Is this a promise band before a second, more important one? Would you be willing to wear a ring as well, once I get my father's?"
Lexa’s eyes grow moist as Clark speaks. The words register as positive, welcoming rather than rejecting. But it’s Clarke’s last question that causes Lexa’s eyes to widen and her hold on the bond to slip.
Had Clarke just implied what Lexa thinks she has?
Emotions roll across their bond between them even as Clarke quietly chuckles when Lexa’s wide eyes meet her own.
"Yes, I know this is fast Lexa. But I also know how you're feeling right now. I know how you've felt this whole time, just like you know my emotions. I'm all in Lexa. But I do need to know the ramifications of this before we do it, since I'm still learning your customs. Just yesterday we were talking about the danger doing something like this would bring."
Clarke's free hand comes up to wipe at the water gathering in Lexa's eyes. "I'm with you, Lexa. Now tell me how we do this. Do I give you one? Do we put them on each other? Are they allowed to come off during bathing? Are they something to show off or something private?"
There's no fighting the smile that pushes up Lexa's lips. If she had to guess, her eyes are sparkling with just as much emotion as Clarke's own. She certainly knows the bond is alight with their feelings.
Hope, joy, worry, warmth, acceptance.
Carefully, Lexa untangles her hands from Clarke's. One hand grabs Clarke's before she can withdraw it. Slowly Lexa slides the bracelet in her hand around Clarke's wrist. The wonder echoing into the back of her mind keeps her smile strong as she carefully ties the bracelet in place.
"Yes, you're allowed to take it off. And yes there's normally a ceremony to go with this, but the actual exchange of bracelets can be private. Whether you show it off or not is up to you, but just like the bond, if you are asked about it directly you do not lie."
With a squeeze of Clarke's hand, Lexa withdraws her own. Before Clarke can make any comment, Lexa is loosening the ties to her vambraces. With practiced movements she pulls up the sleeves underneath to reveal one bare wrist and one worn bracelet.
Offering her free wrist, Lexa comments, "I have Costia's with me, if you wanted to trade your second one even though...even though she's not here."
Clarke meets Lexa's gaze with a small smile. "I'd like that." She says, even as she pulls one of the bracelets out of the case. This time it's Clarke's turn to slide the bracelet onto Lexa's wrist and gently tie it in place.
The pair simply sit there and bask in each other's presence after Lexa rights her sleeves and vambraces. They only get a few minutes before a gentle rap against the door tells them the rest of the Trigedakru leaders have gathered.
It was time to, as the Skaikru say, face the music and publicly confirm their bond.