Chapter Text
One in a million
The end of semester was something Eren had really been looking forward to, finally no more exams, no more studying and no more endless nights buried in books; well, at least for a bit. For now though, Eren just wanted to enjoy himself and celebrate the end of the semester, he thought as he entered the house of someone he didn’t even know the name of. The house was already pretty crowded, it was as if half of the college was already here.
“How does one person even know this many people?” he asked his friends, Armin and Mikasa, as they squeezed themselves through the crowded rooms until they reached what seemed to be the living room of the house.
“You know that those party invitations spread faster and wider than a wildfire,” Armin stated, with a slightly uncomfortable tone to his voice.
“And besides that, I think none of us actually know the host,” Mikasa added, as she spotted a drink table that was set up in one corner “How about some drinks you guys? We can look for the others after that,” she suggested as she was already forcing her way through the crowd towards said drink table.
***
The three had quickly found their friends after they had gotten themselves a drink consisting of the cheapest alcohol available, diluted with some coke to make it drinkable. Eren was on his third drink now, and while it would need a few drinks for him to actually get drunk, he was feeling a little tipsy at this point. Maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea not to eat anything before coming to the party, after all. However, the tipsiness brought certain thoughts to Eren’s mind, that he had originally decided to push away for tonight. Eren wondered if he was here at this party as well, and by he, he meant his crush Levi Ackerman.
It was bad enough that the man was his best friend’s brother, but he also happened to be a more or less close part of his friend group. When they had spoken about who would be attending tonight’s party within their friend group, Levi had said that he wasn’t sure yet, much to Eren’s disappointment. The young man was craving every second he could spend with the older man. Of course, Eren had never told Levi about his feelings for him, as he could appear pretty intimidating sometimes, and Eren didn’t want to risk the friendship they had by confessing his attraction towards him. So in the end, Eren just kept enjoying every second he got to spend with the shorter, dark haired man who he secretly loved.
Was it a healthy way of coping with his feelings? Definitely not, and Eren knew that, but at the same time he had never found the courage to risk everything he had with him, just to more than likely get turned down in the end.
Either way, Eren’s current state of mind (or rather the alcohol level in his body) caused him to involuntarily scan the crowd for the familiar face with a scowl and distinctive hairstyle, which wasn’t that hard, considering he was taller than most of the other people here.
“What are you looking for?” Mikasa asked as she nudged him with her elbow. Eren realized that he had not listened to any of the conversation that they were originally having with their friends Connie and Sasha, for the past few minutes.
“Hm? I’m not looking for anything,” he lied. Of course, he had realized by now, that his mind and eyes were searching for something – or rather someone – else.
“Mhm… if you say so,” she answered, a knowing look on her face, that made Eren raise one eyebrow in curiosity, but Mikasa decided not to push the subject, but continued to engage in the conversation that they were originally having. Eren’s eyes drifted back to the crowd that was surrounding him, as the man of his dreams inevitably manifested in his mind again.
“Hey, Eren.” Eren suddenly heard someone greeting him from behind as he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around just to see Floch Forster, facing him with a smug smile. Eren didn’t exactly hate Floch like some of his friends did. After all, Floch never really gave him a reason to do so, but nevertheless, there were some nasty rumors about him. Eren knew that Floch had an interest in him. He had received quite a few supposedly innocent comments and messages from him on his social media accounts.
He had even asked Eren out one or two times, but Eren had always politely declined, openly stating that he had no interest in Floch. Eren was sure that Floch was about to do just that, again, which was why his initial greeting was met with a rather annoyed “What do you want?” Eren had far too many other things on his mind at the moment, the main one being a certain short, dark-haired man.
“I was just wondering if you had a few minutes to talk,” Floch said, unimpressed with Eren’s annoyed response. Eren internally rolled his eyes
“Sorry, I’m not interested in a hook-up,” He stated, trying to sound friendly. Even though he was annoyed by Floch, he didn’t want to be an asshole about it.
“Heyy…” he slurred slightly, “I don’t wanna hook-up, I really just wanna talk with you…” Flock whined, obviously quite tipsy. Eren sighed while debating his choices. If he told Floch to fuck off, he’d probably only come back later, probably even more drunk and annoying than he already was and Eren really did not want to deal with that. So, pausing the conversation he had going on with Sasha and Connie for a few minutes, seemed to be the better option. It had gotten pretty awkward anyway and since the two were practically glued to each other ever since they’d gotten together, Eren was sure they would be able to entertain themselves without him for a bit.
“Fine.” Eren sighed “but make it quick,” he stated with a slight glare, turning to Floch to give him his undivided attention.
“Not here though Ereeeen, let’s go somewhere quiet,” Floch slurred a bit as he dragged Eren behind him towards the staircase, leading to the upper floor of the house, leaving Eren barely a chance to mumble a quick “I’ll be back in 5 minutes or so,” to his friends.
“I swear Floch, don’t try to hit on me again.” he warned the obnoxiously clingy man.
Eren glared at him when he noticed that Floch was dragging him into one of the bedrooms. Floch just ignored that statement as he pushed Eren down to sit on the bed and sat down next to him.
“Eren… please go out with me” he continued to whine; it was really grating on Eren’s last nerve by this point. The brunet rolled his eyes again, now putting no further effort in trying to be friendly.
“Dude, I told you more than once, that I am not interested in you. Also, you’re clearly drunk. Don’t do something you’ll regret” Eren warned him with an intense glare, that left no room for misinterpretation . Why couldn’t this idiot just leave him alone after the first time Eren had turned his request down.
“Why won’t you just let me show you how well we would fit together?!” Floch asked, sounding as if he was trying to appear desperate.
“Just accept a fucking ‘NO’ when you get it! Your shit might work with other guys, but not with me. Get over it!” Eren spat as he began to stand up to leave the room. He’d had enough of this. Never in a million years would Eren go for anything with Floch, not even if his mind and heart hadn’t been occupied by Levi for the last five months.
“No, wait!” Floch cried as he pulled Eren back down with his hand on Eren’s leg “At least tell me why? What can I do to make you go out with meeee?”
Fuck, this whining idiot is annoying Eren thought to himself. Maybe he would finally shut up and leave Eren alone if he told the idiot that he had interest in someone else.
“Ugh. Why can’t you just let it go, like anyone else would?!” Eren said, now with anger in his voice, that took Floch slightly aback “I have no interest in you, never had and never will. I’m interested in someone else and that someone else is not you,” he explained. That someone else had been Levi, but Floch didn’t need to know that detail.
“But Eren, please give me a chance! I love you!” Floch begged as he looked Eren deep in the eyes. There were no meanings behind those words, Eren could tell, Floch’s gaze gave it away. It was filled with lust and hunger.
“You are fucking drunk, and you don’t know what you’re saying, you damn idiot! You barely even know me!” Eren said, his voice dripping with annoyance and disgust.
Eren was just about to shut up Floch once and for all, as the door to the room suddenly opened. In the doorframe stood a rather short, black-haired man. Deep grey eyes widened in shock as they tried to take in the scene. FUCK! Eren cursed in his mind. He could only imagine how this must have looked to Levi. Floch had gradually come closer to Eren when he tried stop him from getting up. His hand was still placed on Eren’s leg from when he had pulled him back beside him about a minute ago. And of course, Floch was still looking at him with that lustful gaze of his. Eren’s eyes instantly shot up to Levi’s. The usually stoic expression the raven had always carried on his face, crumbled, probably more than Levi would have liked to ever admit. He could see Floch’s lips turn into the slightest smirk from the corner of his left eye. Those few seconds that Levi had been standing in the doorframe might have just destroyed any chance that Eren would ever have had with Levi. Any chance that was just waiting to be taken by Eren after he had already let countless chances slip in the past.
“Excuse me.” Levi whispered in his usual deep voice.
Before Eren could stand up and do or even say anything to clear the situation up with Levi, the raven turned around and shut the door behind him, heading off to god knows where.
“Alright where were we?” Floch asked seductively as he moved his hand on Eren’s thigh further up. Way too far up in Eren’s opinion.
“What the FUCK do you think you’re doing?” Eren hissed as his mind returned to the present after trying to process the disaster that had just unfolded in front of him “What in the hell makes you even think that I would want fucking anything from YOU?” he yelled as he slapped away Floch’s hand which had almost reached Eren’s crotch at that point.
“You’re really getting mad because of that shorty-idiot?” Floch asked confused, as he held up his hands in defense.
“Don’t ever call him that again!” Eren spat, his voice drenched with venom, muscles tensed, and fists clenched as he got up and easily towered over Floch, “and I’m mad because you can’t take a fucking ‘no’ for an answer!”
“I just mean… what does he even want from you?” Floch asked, now getting up as well, but not quite reaching Eren’s height.
“That’s none of your goddamn business, so get lost and leave me alone once and for all!” Was all that Eren could get out through gritted teeth. No, it really wasn‘t any of Floch’s business that the man Eren had been crushing on just left and probably thought that Eren was about to fuck this idiot-redhead.
Said redhead’s look shifted from confusion into a devilish smirk
“Come here, let me take your mind off shorty,” he said suggestively grabbing Eren’s waist and butt, as Eren was about to burst through the door to follow Levi. If the line hadn’t been crossed yet, now it was definitely being crossed. Eren’s blood boiled within him, his fists were clenched with rage and the tensed muscles of his arms stretched the sleeves of his t-shirt more than usual.
“Are you too fucking stupid to get anything?! I told you to FUCK OFF!” he barked and sent a punch right to the middle of Floch’s stupid, smug face. The crunch of a nose breaking could not be overheard as the impact made the redhead stumble quite a few steps backward before his back reached the wall and he slid down against it. A yell of pain escaped from the idiot’s mouth as he covered his nose in a miserable attempt to ease the pain, while blood gushed out from between his fingers. The idiot would be stunned for a bit, Eren thought to himself satisfied.
“Never fucking talk to me or Levi again, got it, asshole?” Eren scoffed with a glare that could kill, as he turned around and headed out of the door.
Eren could feel worry and anger boiling up inside of him. Worry, because he might have just missed his only chance with Levi, a chance he didn’t even realize he had until he saw Levi’s face crumble in the few seconds he had stood in that doorway. Anger because it was the fault of that god forsaken red-headed idiot that Levi’s face did crumble in the first place. Levi rarely ever showed emotions, but today he did, and that meant that this situation might be damaged beyond repair. Eren mentally smacked himself in the face for not confessing sooner, no matter if Levi even returned his feelings or not, because in either case, if he had done that earlier, this situation might have never happened
Eren roamed through the party, ignoring all the questions from his friends. There was only one thing on his mind right now and that was Levi. He needed to get to him. He needed to clear everything up, confess to everything, and maybe make a total fool of himself while doing so, but it might be the last chance for Eren.
He had no idea if Levi would return any of his feelings or if he even cared for them for that matter. But Eren didn’t care. He saw the look in Levi’s eyes, the shock and the hurt. Levi must have felt something similar to what Eren did, it just had to be, and now there was the opportunity to settle this once and for all, so close but yet so fragile.
Eren couldn’t find Levi anywhere within the house or garden and he was beginning to panic; Levi must have left. Eren barged through the front door out into the cold air of January. It was freezing, Eren was only wearing a t-shirt after all, but he couldn’t care less. Levi had left the bedroom less than two minutes ago, he couldn’t have made it far yet.
The winds of January were frigid, snow was coating the trees and sidewalks. Countless footprints from people attending and leaving the party were visible and Eren looked left and right, trying to figure out where Levi had gone. He stopped looking around as he saw a figure a few hundred meters away, hands in their pockets as they continued to walk along the street through the night.
As the person was passing a streetlight, Eren could make out dark hair in a signature style. Levi.
“Levi!” Eren shouted as he took off in a run, trying to catch up to Levi, but the raven showed no signs of turning around. “Levi!” Eren called again, as he finally reached Levi and grabbed him by the shoulder to turn him around. Levi gasped slightly as he was forcefully turned around. Red-rimmed rey eyes widened in shock as Eren finally got Levi to face him.
The look of shock soon turned into a familiar scowl, as Levi freed himself from Eren’s grip.
“Already done?” Levi scoffed “I expected you to last a little longer than that.” His voice wasn’t as smooth as usual, instead it was a little rough and much quieter.
“Wh– what?!” was all Eren could get out, taken aback by the raven’s behavior.
“Forget it and leave me alone,” Levi growled as he was about to put his earbuds back in.
“Did– Did you really think I would let that idiot fuck me?” Eren asked in disbelief. This was the worst that could have happened. Levi really thought that Eren was about to sleep with Floch.
Levi visibly cringed at that and Eren couldn’t blame him. He himself cringed at the thought about having to do anything even close to sex with Floch.
“Looked pretty obvious to me,” Levi stated dryly. Eren could feel his stomach twist, it seemed like a hopeless situation right now. Levi seemed to be certain about what he thought he saw.
“But it wasn’t that, I– Ugh…” Eren struggled hard to find the right words to properly explain everything that was on his mind, without making this situation even worse than it already was, “Please hear me out, Levi,” he begged. Levi looked like he was silently debating his options. Eren was relieved when he took his earbuds out of his ears again and turned towards Eren a bit more, to face him, eyebrows raised as a silent command to speak.
“So?”
“Please just listen, okay?” Eren started sounding a bit desperate, trying to sort his thoughts. Levi just nodded slightly, so Eren continued “First of all, I want you to know that regardless of what it looked like, nothing happened between Floch and me. I have never done that, and I never will! This idiot is just a pain in the ass and he can’t take no for an answer, even though I have told him to fuck off countless times already, but I’m sure he won’t be bothering me again.” Levi raised a questioning eyebrow. “Let’s just say I’ve made myself as clear as I possibly can…” Eren stated before he continued his explanation “He came up to me tonight and wanted to talk to me. I just didn’t want to be an asshole and he would have bothered me all night long, so I just went along. I only wanted to tell him that he should stop trying to hit on me, and as I was doing that, you walked in, please believe me!”
Eren wondered why he was so worried about Levi’s impression of the encounter from a few minutes ago. Eren was certain about his feelings for the shorter man, but he had no idea if it was the same for Levi. But after all, Levi seemed to be incredibly bothered by what he had seen, so maybe there was some hope left that he returned his feelings. Even if that was the case, though, the scene Levi had witnessed must have been a horrible sight. Eren could only imagine what it would have felt like if he had seen Levi with someone else in the same position, and he cringed at the thought of such an image.
“Anything else?” Levi asked, voice harsh and still sounding slightly broken. Either he didn’t believe Eren or his explanation just didn’t cut it.
Eren’s expression faded to a helpless look of sadness. He had tried so hard to explain everything, and he was being honest, but apparently it was not enough.
“Why were you even that bothered by that?” Eren managed to get out, his voice reflecting his sudden feeling of hopelessness.
“I don’t know why that would be any of your concern,” Levi said coldly with a broken tone in his voice, as he turned around to continue his walk home.
“It’s my concern because you are important to me and because I don’t want you to be bothered by something that didn’t happen,” Eren said quietly, but loud enough for Levi to hear, deciding to go with full honesty now, in an attempt to finally confess and admit everything that had been bothering him for the last months.
That statement had Levi stop dead in his tracks, but he didn’t say anything and kept facing away from Eren. Eren slowly approached Levi and laid his hand on the shorter man’s shoulder, this time much more gently.
“Please Levi, I don’t want to argue with you or for you to think badly of me,” he said.
“You don’t understand Eren. I can’t talk to you right now; we can talk about this in a few days.” Levi sighed as he turned around once more, to face Eren. Eren could feel his heart sink, he was so close to finally confessing to Levi, but the other one he kept pushing him away.
Eren debated on what to do, to make himself clear. Okay, he thought. Eren collected all the courage he had, and decided to go with the one thing in his mind that could not be misinterpreted.
“You may not believe it, but I think I do understand,” he said as he took a step forward, closing the distance between Levi and himself “And if I’m wrong, please forgive me for this,” he whispered, closing his eyes and gently, but determinedly laid his lips onto Levi’s. Levi’s lips felt cold, probably from the time he had already spent outside, but yet incredibly soft. This was everything Eren had been dreaming of for the past months, this very moment was it. And even if he just made an absolute fool of himself, even if Levi would turn him down in a second, it was worth it. The sensation of finally feeling the other man’s lips on his was exceeding his imagination by miles.
Levi inhaled sharply through his nose upon the sudden and unexpected contact, but the feeling of Levi’s hands carefully being placed on Eren’s waist, gently but decisively pulling him closer, until his body was pressed against his own, reassured him that he indeed had understood and that he wasn’t wrong. Eren’s heart felt like it was about to explode, as he felt Levi’s lips move just the slightest against his own, a few strands of Levi’s black hair brushing against his forehead.
“I have wanted this for so long…” Levi breathed as they pulled away, looking lost in his thoughts.
“Me too. But why have you never said anything” Eren asked as he looked down in the eyes of the man he had admired for so long.
“I wanted to tell you today, but I saw you there with Floch and I just thought that I’d never had a chance,” the raven said, looking down, as the images he had seen earlier came back to his mind.
“I’m sorry, Levi,” Eren said, placing his freezing fingers on Levi’s cheek.
“For what?” he asked as he looked back up to the man that had just kissed him.
“For not telling you any sooner. I thought you’d never be interested in me that way and I guess I was scared of losing the friendship we had,” Eren explained, a pained look in his green eyes.
“Me too. But if losing our friendship means that we get to replace it with this, I’m beyond happy about it,” Levi said as he stretched up. Now it was his turn to kiss Eren, the feeling causing Levi to feel a burning sense of warmth and love in the center of his body. Levi’s lips curled up in a soft smile, as he pulled away.
“You look so pretty when you smile,” Eren said softly as he looked down at Levi “and now it finally no longer feels weird to think that anymore.”
“Still doesn’t change the fact that I don’t know how to reply to shitty compliments,” Levi rolled his eyes, but not in a mean way.
“You better get used to it, because you’re going to get some more from me,” Eren chuckled, as he moved his hand down from the other man’s cheek to intertwine his fingers with Levi’s.
“I don’t think I would mind,” Levi smirked as he tightened his grip around Eren’s hand.
“So, would you like to go on a date with me?” Eren asked with audible hope in his voice.
“You just kissed me and I kissed you, seriously, what answer do you expect?” Levi asked in disbelief and a raised eyebrow.
“Oh come on, I was trying to be a nice gentleman here and properly ask you out,” Eren pouted theatrically.
“Yes, I’ll go on a date with you,” the raven chuckled slightly, which only made Eren smile even brighter.
“So, what do you say, should be go back to the party hand in hand and ruin Floch’s evening more than I already did?” Eren asked with an evil, devilish grin on his face. Levi chuckled at that suggestion
“As much as I am positively surprised about that side of you and as much as I’d love to shred him to pieces and see the stupid face of his while I do it, I think I’d be more comfortable going home for tonight.” Eren nodded understandingly, and honestly, he felt the same.
“Mind if I join you?” he asked hopefully, Levi’s hand still in his.
“Not at all,” Levi said, as he stretched up to kiss Eren once more. When they parted after a moment Eren offered Levi a soft smile and they both headed off for the few-minutes-walk to Levi’s apartment.