Chapter Text
"Singing? Really?" Trent marvels as the contestants follow Blaineley into one of the open rooms on the plane, presumably a dining room of some sort. "I thought Blaineley was joking about that..."
"Well, I don't have a problem with it," hums Duncan, shrugging innocently.
"Yeah, 'cause you actually like singing," Harold notes, rolling his eyes as the other boy scowls at him.
Courtney steps forward. "Well, I don't sing. Girly chicks sing, little birdies sing... Courtneys do not sing."
"Think I'll get to beatbox? Leshawna asks hopefully, turning to Harold.
"I'll beat you if you try," Courtney interjects.
Alejandro groans, frowning at the blonde hostess in front of them. "So why exactly are you doing this to us?" he challenges, fiery eyes threatening to char holes through the blonde.
Blaineley smiles as if she'd been waiting for this question. "Singing reality shows are huge, and the worse the singing, the higher the ratings!" she clarifies, as if this is meant to make them feel any better. (It didn't.)
"That's why on this show, there will be absolutely zero rehearsals or vocal coaches, or warnings, at that!"
Irritated groans from tired contestants.
"Anyway, this is the dining area, where you'll enjoy in-flight meals." Blaineley gestures to the tables in front of them, which seemed to be in questionable condition.
"Not for long! Prepare to lose to yours truly!" an excited Anne Maria beams with a hand pointing at her own chest.
"Er... okay, I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but you are aware that you were booted first last time, right?" Trent falters, putting a reassuring hand on the shorter girl's shoulder.
"True, and I've spent a ton of time tryna make sure that doesn't happen again! I'm stronger, faster, smarter..."
"Chattier, blabbier, can't-shut-up-ier..." Blaineley huffs. "Now zip it! Let me finish the tour so we can get this beauty in flight."
Maria winces, but doesn't continue.
"Yo, is there a bathroom on here?" Harold asks.
"Just through there," Blaineley says, gesturing to the narrow hallway in front of them.
"Good, 'cause I gotta make a desposit," the ginger joshes, walking through the hallway and out of sight of the other contestants.
[Confessional: Harold]
"...."
"...? There's a camera in the bathroom again?!" he hisses, leaning in toward the device planted in front of him. "Can't a man get a little privacy on this damn show?"
[End]
"The losing teams will enjoy luxurious economy class accommodations between destinations," Blaineley explains as the cast is shown another poorly managed room.
Tyler looks around, skeptical. "Okay, but where are our beds?" he asks, turning back to the hostess.
The blonde lets out a light, airy laugh before responding. "Izzy, care to demonstrate?" she jeers, turning to the previously unconscious ginger who was now seen sitting upright on a bench against the wall. Her snores were loud as she drowsily mumbles garbled speech in her sleep, drool staining the corner of her mouth.
There was a brief silence before Alejandro speaks. "That does not look comfortable," he adds, face scrunching up slightly in disgust.
"No comfort for losers! Safety harnesses and an emergency exit, but no comfort here, here, or here." On each 'here', Blaineley points in a different direction of the leaky, worn-down compartment.
Cody now stood next to the blonde hostess, hands exaggeratedly holding his stomach as he howled with laughter. "Gee, Blaineley, you never fail to bring a good laugh out of me," he laughs, seemingly wiping a tear from his face.
"We should totally hit the winner's compartment, 'cause I ain't ever gonna sit back here," Maria huffs, hands resting on her hips.
Bridgette sniffs, then brings a hand to her nose. "..Is "never" your policy on mouthwash too, homeschool?" she cringes, wafting the scent away from her face.
(Maria frowns.)
A fairly well-kempt room is entered, red carpet nearly stainless and golden seats glistening. There was a dining table as well, and definitely cleaner than the one they'd seen before. Toward the back of the room, a bar-like setup could also be seen; an area exclusively for drinks and other accommodations. The mood seems to lighten.
Blaineley clears her throat. "This is the first class cabin; the domain of each week's winners," she says as the contestants continue to look around.
Heather smiles at the brunette in front of her. "Now this is the kind of accommodation that gentlemen deserve," she affirms.
A slight blush colors Tyler's face. "They have men in first class too?" he asks, looking around baffled.
Less than a second later, he realizes what the noirette meant.
"Oh, me! You meant me!"
Not far behind them, Eva and Lindsay watch on curiously. "That girl is probably the most charismatic person I've ever seen," the former states.
Lindsay frowns. "Tyler's supposed to like me..." she sighs hopelessly. Eva frowns, putting a sympathetic hand on the blonde's shoulder.
Lindsay straightens, determined to catch the attention of her lover.
"Hey Tyler!" she calls, walking towards him. "I can do a handspring!"
She braces herself, eyes fluttering shut in preparation as she raises her arms. She lunges forward and turns, demonstrating an impressive flip mid-air. However, her landing was not well planned, and she faceplants on the carpet below.
Both Heather and Tyler channel their attention to the fallen girl, wincing at the impact. Tyler gives a sympathetic look.
"Aw, poor..." He trails off mid-sentence, eyes squinting in thought. "I'm blanking on her name, uh... Oh, I know! Heather!"
"That's my name," the Asian girl interjects, a patient smile gracing her features.
"And what a nice name it is..." Tyler continues, shyly looking at the girl in front of him. She laughs sweetly.
Seated a few chairs away from the duo, a miffed Alejandro scowls.
[Confessional: Alejandro]
"I can see right through that chica," he asserts (mainly himself), crossing his arms with an irritated expression.
He falters, taking a moment to look around the area he was in; the plane's cockpit. It was small, but definitely less odorous than the bathroom. "This extra confessional is much nicer than talking in the bathroom," he admits, smiling slightly.
"Maybe for you," Josh groans. "I'm trying to prepare for a flight here."
Alejandro rolls his eyes. "Anyway, this new girl is so fake, so transparent-"
"So fiercely charming?" the pilot adds.
"What? No! That isn't even close to what I was saying..."
"You have to admit, she's pretty cute..."
Silence.
"I'm just saying."
An exasperated groan. "Ugh, no importa!"
[End]
"Woah," Sierra exclaims as the contestants enter a new room. This room was definitely spacey, and was much more well-kempt in comparison to the previous rooms they'd seen.
"Where are we now? A grand piano, wood-burning pizza oven, four-person hot tub with LED light show and dancing waters??" As she continues, her voices increases in pitch with her surprise.
Leshawna walks over to the hot tub. "How do I win this? My little pumpkin face and I would both adore our own hot tub!"
"Whoa whoa whoa, easy," Blaineley suddenly interjects, successfully catching the attention of the admiring contestants. "These are my quarters, and they're off limits. Clear?"
Leshawna frowns, directing her gaze to the (very clean) floor. "Crystal..."
"I heart your limits, Blaineley," Cody coos from the sidelines.
[Confessional: Alejandro]
"Okay. So with Justin gone, Tyler being Tyler, and... Helen or whatever her name is looking like a real threat, my only strategic option is to make friends with the new guy. But pretending to like that? Is going to be hard." He leans into the camera to make his point more convincing. "I do not "heart" the new guy."
[End]
Back in the dining area, Blaineley concludes the tour. "That's pretty much it," she says, shrugging. "I skipped the cargo hold and galley, but I'm sure you'll find those exciting destinations when I "accidentally" lock you in them..." (She puts air quotes around "accidentally".)
The plane hits some sort of bump and jerks upward, causing each sitting passenger to stumble dangerously. However, before Noah can brace himself for the impact, he finds himself propped up by someone behind him.
"Woah, are you alright?" Heather asks, helping the boy steady himself as he sat back up.
"Y-Yeah. Thanks," he says, giving the girl a small smile in an attempt to distract from the flustered state he was in.
[Confessional: Noah]
"Okay. Is that girl hitting on me or something? I'm pretty sure she's hitting on me. I don't know how to feel about this," he says, resting his head on his palms as he stares at the floor.
"Oh wait, I do!" He sits back up. "I have a girlfriend. No way am I falling for that.
[End]
"Oh, and one more thing," Blaineley continues. "I'm sure you all remember a little something called the elimination ceremony? Well this year, it takes place right in the other room over there!"
Blaineley leads the cast into a separate room down the same hall. Inside was a mini stage with a flower-covered curtain and intimidating statues on either side of the exit. (Hold on. Exit?!)
"If you don't receive a barf bag full of airline-issued peanuts, you'll be forced to take the drop of shame!" The blonde gestures to the door beside her. It presented itself as some sort of exit that sky divers would jump from... You know, with parachutes and such.
As the realization strikes, a wave of fear crashed over the contestants. There was now one unspoken competition between each teen: don't get eliminated first.
The plane was fairly quiet for a few minutes as the contestants rested during the long flight. Some took the time to nap, while others enjoyed the view beneath them through the window. However, some spent their time being apprehensive about what was to come.
"Every second we're getting closer to adventure," Eva drawls, resting her head in her hands. "And further... from home..."
Before the others could even give her a sympathetic look, a shrill bell rang out through the plane. Perking up from the sudden noise, the room suddenly darkened significantly, safe for the single spotlight that shone down on Blaineley (who had now suddenly appeared in the entrance of the dining hall). She wore a sparkling red and black tux, a classic hat and cane in hand.
"Whenever you hear that bell, it's musical number time!" she explains enthusiastically. "So... let's hear it!"
However, she was only met with blank stares from confused contestants.
"But... what are we supposed to sing?" Duncan asks.
Blaineley grins. "You'll have to make it up as you go. Wouldn't be so challenging otherwise, would it?"
[First Song: "Come Fly With Us"]
(Author's Note: I will not provide the lyrics for this song due to the fact that it is not much different from the original, apart from the character swaps. Feel free to listen to the original if you'd like to know the lyrics. Thank you.)
A speaker activates overhead. An irritated voice can be heard on the other side.
"Enough singing! Strap yourselves in. We are now beginning our descent into Egypt."
As the cast makes their way over to the economy class down the hall, the voice over the speaker continues.
"Musical numbers... Ridiculous idea. She's such an idiot," the voice mutters before shutting the speaker off.
Blaineley gasps, frowning. A few laughs and giggles could be heard down the hall, although Blaineley shoots down any laughers with her steel gaze.
This was going to be a long flight.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
The hot air rushed into the plane as soon as the door was opened. As the contestants filed out of the plane and down the steps, Blaineley was seen being carried over on an ancient Egyptian-styled chair and stretcher by two interns, also dressed for the occasion. A large leaf acted as an umbrella over the blonde hostess, shielding her from the scorching sun.
"You like it?" She asks, gesturing to her Egyptian-style garments. "I dressed just for the occasion! Anyway, are you all ready for a little fun?"
A groan was heard from nearly every contestant. "I think I'm going to pass out from this heat," Leshawna says, fanning herself desperately as the sun beat down on those who dared to expose themselves.
"Great!" Blaineley exclaims. "Now, today's challenge is called, 'The Pyramid Over-Under'!"
"An eleven hour flight, Josh's in-flight cuisine, a forced musical number, and now we've got a challenge? Seriously?" Harold growls.
"Don't you love this game?" Blaineley replies innocently.
After a bit of walking, everyone was met with a race-esque starting line. It had poles on either side to support the checkered banner above.
"Alright! 'Pyramid Over-Under' means you choose how you'll get to the finish line; either over or under the pyramid. Got it?"
Everyone nodded, crouching in preparation to begin. There was a brief count-off before the loud crash of symbols was heard, signaling for everyone to go.
As a handful of contestants enter the pyramid, they quickly come to a stop as the entrance is split into three different paths.
"Oh great," Bridgette sighs. "Of course there have to be different paths."
Jumping on the opportunity, Alejandro tries his luck at putting his plan in motion. "Hey, Cody!" he calls out to the shorter boy. "Which way do you think we should go?"
Cody grins. "Me? Um.... uh... erm..."
"How do we know which way's right?" Izzy asks.
"I know!" Owen says. "I saw this in a spy movie once; lick your finger and hold it up to find the air flow!"
"Hey, that's actually not too bad of an idea," Bridgette ribbed, "if you were a complete bozo."
"Come on. How could a spy movie be wrong?" Owen says, seeming genuine with his reasoning.
Harold rolls his eyes, walking past the trio. "Come on Leshawna," he says. "These three are on a whole 'nother plane of thought." He walks through the entrance of the middle hall, Leshawna and Eva following closely behind.
Watching the three leave, Owen pipes up with a new idea. "Let's take the scary mummy door!" he insists, already making his way down through the entrance. Both Bridgette and Izzy are unconvinced, yet follow the blonde anyway.
***
"Is it too late to go under instead?" Lindsay asks, holding a hand up to her eyes to block the sun as she looks up at the massive pyramid that towered over her.
"Seems like Heather's doing fine," Tyler observes as the Asian girl gracefully leaps over blocks as if it were a simple game of hopscotch. She doesn't break a sweat. Tyler stares in admiration as she jumps, coming back down to earth as she stops to turn around.
"Would you guys like some help down there?" the noirette calls, gliding back down to the base of the pyramid to meet them. She holds out her hands, offering assistance to the contestants still moping at the bottom of the pyramid. Tyler and Noah gladly accept, allowing themselves to be pulled up by the girl.
"W-Wait!" Lindsay calls as they begin to make their way up the pyramid. "What about me?" She frowns, sighing as she begins to climb up with her own strength.
***
"Rock climbing was the team building challenge when I was a C.I.T.," Duncan states, "and if Tiffany Prizzlebewski hadn't been such a lousy partner, I'd have won."
Courtney winces as Duncan tightens the rope bound to her waist, which connected her to the raven head. "I always said Tiffy was overrated," she scoffs, rolling her eyes.
Duncan lets out a huff of frustration. "Mock all you'd like, Courtney, but we both know that my superior belay skills are going to assure our victory."
Courtney glowers as she tunes out Duncan's rambling. She looks past him to see a struggling Trent attempting to get up the pyramid. "Hey, Trent! Are you going over too?"
"Working on it," he breathes, forcing another leg over a concrete block.
"I think Trent could use a hand," she tells Duncan, concern lacing her voice (which was unnatural). Duncan falters at this.
Finally, he sighs. "Fine. But only because a three-person belay is stronger."
***
As the dysfunctional... trio... walks through the bleak and dark halls, Owen spots a pile of tissue similar to that used by ancient Egyptians to mummify the valuable dead.
"Oooh, we're in the nurse's office! Mummy me!" he grins, throwing both Izzy and Bridgette a pile of the tissues. They falter, looking at each other with an "are you serious?" look in their eyes.
***
As Alejandro navigates the third hall with Cody, the latter steps over a booby-trapped tile. Unaware of the arrows flying toward them, he keeps walking. However, Alejandro looks back to see the incoming danger and gasps, shoving the both of them to the ground. Less than a split second later, the arrows whiz over their heads, planting themselves in the wall ahead.
Alejandro snarls to himself, sitting back up.
"Oops... Sorry Alejandro," Cody says, a guilty look forming on his face.
To hold back his anger and frustration was very difficult, but Alejandro does it anyway. "It's okay," he reassures. "Could have happened to anyone."
***
"...and your form is appalling," Duncan continues after a long 15 minutes of some fiery exchanges between himself and Trent.
"Gee, thanks," Trent sighs. "I was just wondering about that."
Duncan tenses, the other boy's snarkiness annoying the hell out of him. "You know, you're only here because I'm feeling nice today."
"This is you being nice??" Trent asks with genuine surprise. "My sympathies," he calls out to Courtney, who was climbing ahead of both of them.
"Did you hear that, Courtney?" Duncan hisses, looking up at the punk girl. "You're not gonna let him get away with that, right?"
Courtney groans inwardly, rolling her eyes as she listens to the two boys squawk. As if this supposedly quick challenge hadn't been irritating enough already.
***
Traveling together, Eva, Leshawna and Harold quickly make their way through the dreary halls of the pyramid. However, they pass a series of "mummified animals", presumably a display, and Eva stumbles, looking sympathetically at the stuffed mummies.
"Those are real animals," she cries, reaching out to give the mummified dog a soft stroke.
"Eva, we do not have time to cry over a stuffed dog," Harold says impatiently.
"Hey there little guy," she says, ignoring the other boy. "Wish I had a biscuit to give you..."
On a particular stroke, the dog gives way, collapsing and emitting a ridiculous amount of dust. It had disintegrated completely, now a pile of grey mush.
The room notices. The three begin to feel intense shaking, followed by the sound of tiny objects falling from the ceiling and walls. It doesn't take long for them to realize what they are.
"Scarabs?!" Leshawna exclaims, shielding herself from the tiny meat-eating bugs. "Run!"
The trio began running through the hall, potent to avoid the falling insects as they crawled toward them hungrily. Eva was distressful the whole way out, scrambled apologies falling from her mouth as she ran with the others.
***
"It's really steep," Heather exclaims, frowning at the sight of the lower half of the pyramid. "I don't know how we can make our way down from here..."
Noah glowers. "There must be an easier way," he says, thinking hard about a solution to the new-found problem. He spots the signboard next to them, a symbol of a pyramid and down-facing arrow visible on its surface. The sign itself was almost half Noah's height. Suddenly, he's hit with an idea.
"I'm a surfer! I can surf!" He says, beginning to remove the sign from its spot planted in the ground.
"Me too." An exhausted Lindsay appears at the top of the pyramid as well, attempting to pull herself up the last few blocks. However, when Noah removes the sign from its spot, the pole knocks her right to the ground, sending her tumbling. And the trio at the top was completely oblivious to this. (Poor thing.)
***
Meanwhile, a different, scarab-fleeing trio finally sprints out of the pyramid, once again exposing themselves to the merciless sun above. They cross onto the warm sand, running past Blaineley and stopping to catch their breath. "Good work, guys!" Blaineley calls from behind them, congratulating the first group to arrive at the finish line.
"We're first?" Eva asks, realization hitting her like a speeding truck. "We're first!" She grabs both Harold and Leshawna, embracing them in a group hug. Harold is quite eager to object, yet ends up smiling anyway.
"Go stand behind the number one," Blaineley instructs.
"In Egyptian, it's 'wahid'," Leshawna states. However, Blaineley gives her a scowl, and she frowns.
***
The climbing trio slides down the pyramid with ease, the head of the sign making an excellent surfboard. As they come to a stop, Noah and Tyler excitedly step off, the latter pumping his fists in the air. "That was awesome!" he exclaims, giving the surfer boy a lighthearted high-five.
"After you," Heather says, gesturing to the finish line in front of them. The boys make their way over to the other contestants, forming a group. Heather attempts to join them, but is stopped by a certain blonde hostess.
"Not so fast," she says, turning toward the girl. "This season, three teams! Noah and Tyler round out Team One. Heather, you're the first member of team two!"
"In Egyptian, it's 'aetnin'," Leshawna chirps from the sidelines.
"If it's any consolation," Blaineley says to Heather, gesturing to the exit of the pyramid, "you get..."
A screaming Lindsay is seen tumbling down the top of the pyramid backward, landing roughly and head-first in the sand below. "Uh... Lindsay, is it?" Heather asks.
"Yep!" Blaineley confirms. "And you also get..."
A pair of more screamers are seen fleeing from the pyramid, seemingly exasperated. Izzy and Bridgette make their way out, stopping at the finish line and gasping for air.
"Congratulations!" Blaineley says to the noirette, clearly mockingly.
She grimaces, but braces herself. "That's... wonderful!"
[Confessional: Heather]
Unfortunately, the language in this confession is too graphic to be included in the transcript. Therefore, it had to be cut. We apologize. What we can tell you, though, is that Heather does not like her team.
[End]
Meanwhile, Cody (carrying a slightly disturbed Sierra) and Alejandro make their way out of the pyramid. "I'm so happy we found you," Cody says to Sierra, who he had in his arms. "Al, aren't you so happy?"
"I'm so happy I could scream," he drawls, tone clearly bitter. However, Cody doesn't seem to notice. They continue their way past the finish line, stopping at the newly gathered group of contestants.
"We did it! Group hug!" Cody beams, putting Sierra down and pulling her in for an enthusiastic embrace. "Come on Al, you too!" He turns toward the Spaniard.
Alejandro rolls his eyes, but plasters the most fake smile he can manage onto his face as he joins them in their clearly one-sided hug.
"And... hug's over. Cody, get behind the number two. Alejandro and Sierra, you'll be on Team Three!" Blaineley says.
"In Egyptian-"
"No one cares, Leshawna," the hostess reassures.
"Where's Trent?" Sierra asks, looking around to find the goth boy missing. "Not like I care, just curious..."
***
"I'm telling you, we need to untie!" Trent argues, crossing his arms as he practically spoke to a brick wall.
"And I'm telling you, it's unsafe!" Duncan says, glaring at the incompetent goth boy. "I'm in charge, and-"
However, the C.I.T. is cut off by an obnoxiously loud voice shouting through a megaphone.
"Ohhh kiiiids...~" Blaineley sings, calling out to the trio as the same shrill bell from earlier sounds out. "Recognize that sound? It's time for whoever's not finished yet to give us a little musical reprise!"
"You said one song per episode," Courtney retorts, glaring fiercely at the blonde hostess.
She grins slyly. "Yeah, and this is a reprise, not a new song. So if you don't sing, you're out! Now, let's hear it!"
This time, Courtney absolutely snaps. "You know what? No," she hisses, hopping down the pyramid angrily. "No no no no no no, no!" Completely ignoring the fact that she was still tied to the other two, she continues to make her way down the pyramid, dragging the now stunned boys behind her.
Finally, she reaches the ground, and walks toward Blaineley. "Three hours of these two squawking on this stupid pyramid in this stupid heat, and you want me to sing, Forget it!"
"You have a contract..." Blaineley begins.
"Eat it, O'Halloran," Courtney snarls. "If you need me, I'll be in the plane waiting for a ride home, 'cause I'm out. Done. I quit!" She pulls a pocket knife out, using it to hastily sever the rope binding her to both Duncan and Trent.
The two boys, stunned, watch Courtney walk toward the plane perched distantly behind them. Trent falters, looking down in shame. However, a hand reaches out to him, offering to help him up.
"Hey. Looks like we're teammates," says a now enthusiastic Sierra.
[Confessional: Sierra]
"Breakups on the rebound are the best!" Sierra squeals excitedly. "They cry, and then you get to buy them a pop and listen, and then... well he still won't go out with you, but you get to buy him a pop!"
[End]
Meanwhile, Owen makes his way out of the pyramid, another mummified person(?) in his arms.
Izzy and Bridgette gasp, cowering. "You're carrying the undead!" Bridgette yells, crouching behind Izzy in an attempt to hide herself.
"Cool!" Owen says. "Bite me and I can be your undead friend like Frankenstein!"
However, the mummy wasn't having it, and it jumps out of Owen's arms, taking a moment to pull the wrapped tissues from its body. It turns out to be Anne Maria. Who knows how she got wrapped up like that?
"Thanks for all the help, guys," she quips, crossing her arms in annoyance.
"Owen, go join Team-"
"Talata, or three!" Leshawna chimes in.
Maria frowns. "What about me?" she asks, turning to Blaineley.
"I guess you can go join Team One," she says, gesturing to the group.
Maria grins, making her way over to her new teammates and waving excitedly. They wave back, welcoming her over.
Blaineley continues. "Alright, teams! You have three minutes to talk amongst yourselves and determine a team name. Meanwhile, I will enjoy this ice cream cone."
Team One is quick to come up with a name. "Team Victory!" they cheer, simultaneously pumping their fists in the air in celebration.
"Team Sparta!" The boys of Team Two cheer. Sierra crosses her arms, annoyed at the fact that they didn't seem to acknowledge the fact that there was, in fact, a girl on their team.
Team Three, however, had a little bit more difficulty coming up with a name. As they spoke amongst themselves, Cody pipes up with his own idea. "I know! Team Blaineley's really really really really hot!"
"What?" the remaining team members say in complete unison.
Blaineley grins. "Nice. Love it! Best team name ever," she praises. "Anyway, here are your rewards." She gestures to a series of items... or animals... perched beside her.
"Team Sparta, you win a camel! Team Blaineley's Really Really Really Really Really Hot, you win a goat!"
"I think there were only four 'really's," Heather remarks.
"Last but not least, Team Victory, here you go!" Blaineley says, tossing them their reward. (It must have been quite great for her to personally give it to them, right?)
"Hold on," Harold snaps. "So the guys in last place get a camel, and we get a stick?" (Guess not.)
"All will be explained," Blaineley says, "...if I feel like it."
She turns to the camera, ever bright and gleaming smile back on her face. "Next time, right here on Total... Drama... Worrrld Tooouuur!" (Yes, she sang out "World Tour".)