Chapter Text
Sam turns her head to look back at Deena, uncertainty written across her face.
There’s no way to explain away what Alice had overheard, so Deena goes for complete honesty. “It’s true. We’re dating, but Sam overheard Ziggy talking about how you guys were betting on when we’d get together so we decided to just not tell anyone.”
Sam smiles and turns to look back at Alice. “Yeah, Ziggy really needs to learn to make sure I’m gone if she wants to talk about me.”
“Fuck, this means Cindy was right,” Alice remarks as they walk down a few stairs so that they’re closer to Sam and Deena. “I cant believe her Friends loving ass was right.”
“Season five, episode five right? The One With The Kips? ” Sam asks, apparently knowing right away where Alice was going with their train of thought.
Alice hesitates. “Uh, yeah I guess.”A thoughtful look forms on their face. “The one where Joey finds out, and I refuse to be the Joey of this scenario.”
Deena has never seen an episode of Friends past the first or second season, so she’s incredibly lost with where the conversation has progressed.
“Why? Because you’re just as bad at keeping secrets?” Sam questions, taking charge of the conversation.
“Exactly!” Alice exclaims. “I don’t want to be a part of whatever it is you’ve been trying to pull over on all of us. It was one thing to keep the groupchat a secret, but now that I know about you two…”
“Not even if it could benefit you?” Sam counters, ignoring the last part of what Alice had been saying.
Deena thinks she knows what Sam is getting at so she tries to build off of Sam’s question. “Yeah, we could help you win the bet with everyone else. Not tell everyone else until whenever it was that you said.”
Alice considers the information. “So you two are saying you’ll rig it so I win the bet?”
“Depends. What do you get for winning the bet?” Deena responds, curious as to what their friends have concocted as a betting pool.
“Well once the group got to where it is now, everyone put in twenty-five dollars,” Alice answers, pulling their phone out and typing on the screen. “So that’s, uh, three twenty-five to the winner which includes their twenty-five bucks.”
Sam throws her napkin at Alice. “There’s thirteen of you in on this?!”
Deena’s amazed by the quick mental math Sam just did because she was still trying to do the division in her head.
Not done with her voicing her thoughts, Sam continues, “That’s literally everyone we’re friends with! What the hell!”
“It’s not our fault you two were taking forever to make a move,” Alice tries in defense. “It was either placing bets or starting a drinking game. We decided to save our livers.”
“You all still made the drinking game though, didn’t you?” Deena asks and she knows the answer is yes simply just because she knows her friends.
Alice smiles. “Obviously we did. We came up with it after we started placing bets honestly.”
The conversation has deviated far from where it had started out at so Deena attempts to refocus their conversation. “But you’re not going to tell the others right?”
Alice doesn’t look happy with what they’re about to say but they do concede. “Fine but only because winning the bet would be pretty great.”
“That includes Cindy too,” Sam reminds. “She’s not an exception to this.”
“And you two have my word that I won’t say anything to anyone—including Cindy—until Halloween,” Alice promises. They pause for a second before asking, “So when did you two start dating?”
“I’d like to think since the night I burned my hand,” Deena answers. She smiles proudly. “Which I will have you both know that most of it has already healed. There’s just one spot that hasn’t.”
Sam turns on the stair she’s on so she can look at Deena. “You told me it was all healed two days ago.”
Alice speaks before Deena can defend herself. “I’ll let you two figure that one out, but I’m gonna head back to the game.” They go down the remaining stairs until they reach the one in front of Sam. Their next statement is directed towards Sam. “We’ll talk later.”
Both Sam and Deena move aside so Alice can go down the last few steps, and it’s Sam who says: “And I dread the questions you’ll ask.”
Turning to smile at them, pushing the door open as they do so, Alice remarks, “It won’t be bad, I promise. Now you two have fun doing whatever it is you came back to do.”
A few moments pass as Deena waits for the door to close before she changes the topic entirely. “So you’re a Friends fan?”
Sam rolls her eyes and takes Deena’s hand that isn’t holding her snow cone that Deena has long since forgotten about. “I might be, but that’s not important right now.” She tugs on Deena’s hand. “Now come on already, let’s get into my apartment.”
There’s an implication somewhere in there that Deena isn’t sure she’s correct about so she just lets herself be dragged up the stairs by Sam.
——
🕵️ Undercover Investigation 🕵️
[3:19 PM]
Kate: alice did you run into sam and deena and at all?
Ziggy: yeah we aren’t buying that sam had a migraine
Tommy: i am so glad we are all taking this fun outing of watching a football game to text each other 🥰
Sheila: tbh you’re like the only one here who knows anything about the sport
Simon: i actually know some stuff but not because i want to
Sheila: okay there’s 2 of you then
Josh: alice wya?? we need details
Cindy: They texted me that they were leaving our apartment 5 minutes ago so they might just be walking
Ziggy: they’re always on their phone when they’re walking to avoid talking to people though 😡
Tommy: ??? you all could literally just talk out loud for these things
Joan: that ruins the vibe and alice won’t know what’s happening :(
Alice: yo i’m here. and i did run into them when i was leaving the apt building
Alice: and i appreciate ur concern for me joan <3
Ziggy: and??
Joan: yw
Simon: yeah what were our beloved friends up to
Alice: omfg give a person a second to type. they were just eating snow cones when i saw them. we talked for a few minutes and that was it
Kate: god at this rate i’ll be dead before they make a move
Josh: i think even that’s pushing it
Joan: yeah they’ll need to be like reincarnated or something for things to finally work out
Ziggy: there was no indication of anything remotely romantic going on between them?
Alice: nope. they were arguing about snow cone flavors when i saw them. and they both had bad takes i’ll let you all know. grape is the best flavor
Annie: no. just no
Tommy: blue raspberry>>>>>
——
[10:28] Alice has added Sam and Deena to the group
Alice has changed the name of the chat to gay bitches 🏳️🌈
Deena: ?
Sam: as it would turn out, they also want to hear your side of everything
Deena: we literally work a shift tomorrow alice. ask me then
Alice: …i also wanted this gc to talk to you guys about if anyone else is on to you two but whatever ig
Sam: i thought everyone already was, they just all think deena and i are dumb
Deena: i was under that impression too
Alice: you two make it hard to keep ur secret
Alice: and ya, everyone is on to you two but i mean legitimately on to you two hiding your relationship
Deena: oh makes sense then. so is anyone?
Alice: i mean besides cindy thinking you guys just wouldn’t tell us, no
Deena: then i’ll talk to you tomorrow at the shop alice! bonne nuit
Alice: oui oui baguette
Sam: i took german
——
“So you two were realistically going to keep this from us for how long?” Alice asks.
The coffeeshop is completely empty save for Alice and Deena. Music fills the moments void of conversation which the duo has been working in since their last customer had left moments before.
“Oh you know,” Deena begins, not sure where she’s going with her train of thought. “For however long.” She’s honestly not surprised when a cup hits her.
“You two were just waiting to be caught then.”
The accusation rings true for Deena because that’s how she viewed the state of affairs. She kneels down to pick up the cup Alice had thrown and throws it back at her coworker. Standing back up, she asks, “Didn’t you interrogate Sam about all of this last night?”
Alice catches the cup, apparently expecting retaliation and replies, “Obviously I did, but I’m trying to figure out your intentions with one of my best friends.”
Deena wants nothing more than to disappear at that moment. Usually, she would try to dodge any and all questions that involve sharing her feelings—at least with people that aren’t Sam as experience has shown—but Alice is doing her and Sam a favor so she opts to share some of her feelings. “We’ve only been on one official date, but I’ve kinda had a thing for her since freshman year.”
“Oh really?” Alice responds, pushing for more information.
Nodding, Deena continues speaking. “Yes really. My roommates know I liked her our first year, and I’m sure they’ve shared that with your group, but my feelings went away after we all got transferred here and I didn’t see her, and then she showed up here and I realized that wasn’t the case.” She smiles at her next words. “And this time things worked out that I had the opportunity to do something about it.”
Alice is silent at first before stating, “That’s so incredibly gay my god.” They chuckle. “You two seem good together, but just know if you break her heart I’ll have to repay the favor.”
Deena has no doubt that Alice will follow through with the threats. She also knows that if it was one of her roommates that had found out, they would probably offer the same threat to Sam. Taking a step towards the back room, she says, “And I can assure you it won’t come to that. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to get more cups since the new hobby is to throw them at people.”
“At least we didn’t pick hot coffee as the thing to throw around,” Alice jokes as Deena continues into the back room.
Entering into the back room, Deena yells out to Alice. “I’ll consider that for next time.” She makes her way towards the box of new cups and starts to open the box while Alice appears in the doorway.
“Remind me to not work shifts with you anymore,” Alice remarks, continuing the conversation with: “But on a serious note, I’m happy you two got your shit together. Fraser needs something good in her life.”
Deena wonders what exactly it is Alice means by that, but she understands that Alice won’t tell her and instead will tell her that Sam will tell her when the time is right. She grabs a stack of packaged cups and heads for where Alice is standing. Outside in the main part of the shop, she hears the bells above the door jingle, but pays them no mind as she tells Alice, “Which is why I’m planning an amazing second date for us. I have it down to two ideas right now.”
Behind Alice, Simon appears. “You’re dating someone?” There’s a box in his hand which makes noise as he moves it in his arms. “Who is it?”
Alice turns their head to look back at Simon. “Your mom.” They glance down at the box and proceed to ask: “What’s in the box?”
Simon opens his mouth then closes it before remarking, “You’re trying to change the topic!”
Unable to believe that two of her friends have overheard remarks of her relationship with Sam two days in a row, Deena just goes right for the truth. “It’s Sam.” She points the stack of cups at Simon. “You can’t tell anyone though and if you do, I know where you sleep.”
“Wait…so you and Sam are actually together?” Simon asks.
Alice nudges him. “That’s what she said isn’t it? Now what’s in the box?”
Simon shakes the box as he holds it out for Alice to see. “They’re pronoun pins. I had to pick these up from Sunnyvale before my shift. The owner said it was something about lessening misgendering in the workplace.” He points at Alice with his hand that isn’t holding the box. “Quit changing the topic though. I know I’m easily distracted, but I want details about Deena and Sam.”
“And you’ll get them,” Deena assures, gesturing towards outside the room they’re all in. “But out there where we can see if anyone else decides to walk in.
“Which will be soon because Cindy’s working with Simon,” Alice points out, continuing by saying, “And she always gets here five minutes early which gives us six minutes to get Simon up to speed.”
Simon smiles. “Plenty of time then. Just let me set this box down and I’ll be right out.”
Alice steps forward so they can let Simon past them before turning and heading back out to the main part of the shop.
Deena follows after Alice but sends one final remark to Simon. “No texting Kate about this.”
“I wasn’t going to,” Simon says in defense of himself.
Deena doesn’t reply and instead takes the stack of cups she’s holding to where they need to go.
Alice is leaning against the counter with their back to the door of the shop and they wait until Simon appears from the back room to start. “Before we start, I only found out yesterday and they swore me to secrecy until Halloween.”
“But isn’t that when you said something would happen between them?” Simon asks, and then it’s like the pieces slide into place for him. “You guys are rigging the bet!”
“And I’ll remind you that you already lost it,” Alice fires back. “You said something would happen by Talk Like a Pirate Day, so I’ll give you fifty from the pot to keep you quiet.”
Simon nods as he considers the offer. “I’ll agree to that.” He focuses on Deena who’s still trying to figure out why Simon would’ve chosen Talk Like a Pirate Day for his bet. “So give me everything you can in the four minutes we have left.”
——
gay bitches 🏳️🌈
[8:46 PM] Alice has added Simon to the chat
Alice has changed the name of the chat to gay bitches 🏳️🌈 and simon
Alice: there now we have a group of everyone
Sam: i still can’t believe someone found out again. it had maybe been exactly 24 hours since alice found out???
Simon: i protest the name bc i am bi, ergo i am gay
Simon: and ace, can’t forget that one
Alice: did you just use the word ergo…
Deena has changed the name of the chat to 3 lesbians and a biromantic asexual 🏳️🌈
Deena: and yes he did. he just learned about it
Simon: ergo i need to use it as much as possible
Simon: also i <3 the group name
Sam: this gc is never going to know a moment of no chaos is it
Alice: use the word ergo one more time and it’ll be the last thing you do
Simon: ergo i’ll be dead?
Deena: oh no
Sam: oh no is right