Chapter Text
"Hm." Accompanied by a human C-Sec officer, Commander Shepard walks up, slightly blurred from the plexiglass barrier separating them. "Vakarian. Tali'Zorah. You do both remember what I said, right?"
Before he can open his mouth to speak, Tali speaks up, twisting her fingers together nervously.
"To… not get ourselves into trouble, Commander."
Considering they were both currently sitting in a jail cell in C-Sec Academy, they hadn't quite managed to do that.
"Eh? Oh right, I remember now. But not that. The other thing."
"To bring Tali'Zorah with me," Garrus says at the same time as Tali says "To stick close to Vakarian."
"…well, yes, I also did say those." Shepard shakes her head. "But I meant the other thing I said, by which I mean the other-other thing."
Both of them just stare at her.
After a moment, Garrus replies. "…I don't think that came through the translator right."
Shepard sighs. Crosses her arms, then uncrosses them, then crosses them again. She turns to the human C-Sec officer.
"Sergeant Bailey, step out for a moment. I'd like to have a word with these… miscreants. Alone."
When he doesn't respond right away, she rounds her shoulders and straightens her spine, switching instantly from her usual easygoing self to a trained special forces soldier. It's a startling change; she might have been a head shorter and far outweighed by the other human, but if it somehow came down to a fight… well, Garrus would put his credits on Shepard.
"Spectre authority."
"…right away, Spectre Shepard," the officer says, quickly making his exit.
Once he's gone, Shepard looks at the two of them a moment, before tapping on the keypad and opening the door to let herself into the cell.
Before either of them can speak, she holds up a hand to quiet them, before walking to one wall of the cell and holding up her omni-tool. There's a pop, a shower of sparks, and the distinct stench of ozone and burning plastic.
That done, she walks the perimeter of the cell, methodically doing the same to every camera and recording device present as Garrus and Tali watch in increasing confusion.
"Commander," Garrus says after a few minutes of this. "Why are you shorting out all the monitoring devices?"
"To release the magic smoke."
"The… magic smoke," Garrus says, mostly just to check that his translator isn't glitching.
"Yup. Once you let the smoke out, they stop working."
"That—" Tali gulps. "That really isn't how it works, Commander."
Shepard doesn't respond to that, just hums quietly to herself as she shorts out the last camera. Then she turns back to them.
"So," she says, raising one eyebrow. "About the other-other thing. You really don't know what I'm talking about, do you?"
When neither of them respond, Shepard takes such a deep breath that Garrus wonders if her chest might burst from it. And then slowly, slowly, she exhales. "I quite distinctly recall telling the both of you to be back on the Normandy by 0600. It's…" She checks her omni-tool. "0604."
"Commander," Tali practically yelps, "you just spent over ten minutes destroying all the cameras."
"But you're still late." Shepard crosses her arms and half-slouches against one wall. "And also in a jail cell."
Garrus's mandibles flick. "So are you."
"…fair point." Her facial expression doesn't change, but there's a faint hint of amusement in her voice. "But I know exactly what series of events led up to me being in the jail cell. Not so much for the two of you."
"You mean C-Sec didn't tell you anything," Garrus says, tilting his head and flicking one mandible in disbelief.
"Why don't you tell me what happened." Although his translator parsed the words as a mere suggestion, her tone made it clear that it was anything but.
But before Garrus has a chance to say anything, Tali speaks up.
"It was my fault, Commander. I got into a… fight. Garrus was just trying to help."
Wait, what?
"Tali, that isn't what—ow!" he yelps as he suddenly gets a very sharp nudge of quarian elbow to his side (because, of course, C-Sec had made him take off his armour). "It was my idea to help Dr. Michel with—ow—"
"Hm." One corner of Shepard's mouth twitches upward. "…how about we take that from the beginning again. This time"— she affixes her gaze on a squirming Tali—"without trying to cover for each other. Or at least trying to make it more believable than an otherwise sensible young woman picking fights with krogan."
So they tell her everything.
About how they'd walked into Dr. Michel's clinic only to find her being threatened again.
About how they'd offered to help.
About how they'd intended to just talk to the blackmailer. To make him back off. But then—
There's something niggling at the edge of Garrus's mind as Shepard listens to their story. Before he can figure out what it is, she speaks.
"…the krogan pulled a weapon on you?"
Garrus speaks. "…not exactly, Commander. We took out our weapons first." In fact, the krogan hadn't even gotten a chance to fire his shotgun before Tali had overheated it.
"Ah." Shepard reaches up and runs one hand across the dark fuzz at the top of her head. "Funny thing, my translator's misbehaving a bit. What I heard is that your new acquaintance pulled a weapon on you. And I'm guessing that in response to that, you took out your weapons in self-defense. 'm I getting this right?"
…ah, so that's why she shorted out all the recording devices.
Tali nudges him again, this time far gentler, and they exchange a long look.
"Yes, Commander. That's perfectly right."
Except… wait.
Tali gets it at the exact same moment he does. "We never said anything about a krogan. I thought C-Sec didn't tell you anything."
"They didn't. I did a a little investigation after I received a rather concerned call from a certain Dr. Michel." She raises one eyebrow. "Had quite a lot to say about how she didn't want a certain turian to get into trouble for helping her."
Beside him, Tali makes a strange sort of hiccoughing noise.
"You sure your suit didn't get a rupture?" he asks with a sudden pang of concern.
"Oh," she says with a definite giggle, "I'm certain about that."
"Wait, what?"
Shepard says something that doesn't quite translate right—he can't figure out what hypnotizing poultry has to do with anything. "But you're going to need to figure that one out on your own, Vakarian. In any case, you both sit tight while I get this sorted with Detective Chellick. Turns out that this Banes character has been quite busy, considering that he's dead."
"You didn't have to do that." Garrus's mandibles twitch. "Cover for me, I mean."
"Don't worry about it, Vakarian." Tali keeps glancing down at her wrist, even though their omni-tools had been constipated by C-Sec.
"I… appreciate it, though." He pauses a moment. "Also, what was that she said about poultry?"
"Is that what a 'chicken' is? Because I have no idea myself."
"…Don't tell her I said this, but Commander Shepard is weird."
"On that," Tali says, "I can definitely agree."