Chapter Text
Jimin zoned out once more in the classroom, his mind barely registering the professor’s words. When the class was over, he sat still staring at the blank page of his notepad. It had been two months since Jungkook left and Jimin hasn't been able to erase that afternoon from his mind.
He felt even worse when Brennan confessed to him last week. His heart constricted painfully at the knowledge. He could only imagine what Jungkook must have gone through silently pining after him all these years.
It was true one never knew the value of a person until they were gone. Unintentionally Jungkook had wormed his way into Jimin’s life, leaving a void in his absence.
The first week after Jungkook left, Jimin only felt his guilt eating him up. It was the second week he realized he was missing something. It all started when he woke one morning, expecting a usual good morning text but was greeted with nothing.
He missed picking Jungkook from the dorm, watching his face light up considerably. He missed the way he would shyly lace their fingers as they walked to the nearest café to get a simple breakfast. He missed how Jungkook would keep looking at him with starry eyes as if he was the only person that mattered the most.
Jimin missed the bubbly laughter, the way his nose always scrunched up, and the way his ears would glow red when the attention on him became too much. He thought he was feeling this way because he felt guilty. But with time he realized it wasn’t just the guilt that was eating him up.
He couldn’t look at others twice without remembering Jungkook. He couldn’t entertain others without comparing their smallest actions to Jungkook’s. He couldn’t help but wonder how adorable Jungkook was all the time.
Jimin stopped partying seeing no point in it anymore. His friends tried to loop him into yet another bet, but Jimin could only think of Jungkook as he shook his head. No more bets. He was done with that shit. All those victories he felt so proud of now made him feel so small.
Every day, he woke up feeling like shit. He didn’t know what to do with himself. But then he ran into his senior and an old friend, Namjoon in a bar. One drink turned into many and he opened up to Namjoon.
The man was wise and told him that if he was feeling shitty about the things he has done, then probably he should start by apologizing to the people he played with. “Jimin-ah, the first step is to acknowledge your mistake. Apologizing alone isn’t a solution to your problems. It wouldn’t make it any better immediately or magically erase what you have done, but it would make a difference to them. Also, with time, you’ll learn to make peace with what you have done and be a better person.”
Jimin had thought long and hard before doing the same thing. The reactions weren’t great. Many didn’t even want to speak to him again. A few were cool and said they accepted his apology. A few just blocked him while there were one or two slapped him across the cheek before walking past him. He told himself that he deserved that.
Even after all that, Jungkook's memory was a constant weight in his chest. Jimin hadn’t realized how much Jungkook had grown on him until now. He was burning in guilt, shame, and regret. Oh, what wouldn’t he do to have Jungkook in his life again.
Then one night while he was halfway to getting wasted, Brennan told him how Jungkook approached him with the idea of a bet. When he learned the truth, Jimin only had himself to blame. Jungkook might have planned everything, but Jimin fell for it. He took the bait and played right into his game. And he could only think how much Jungkook must have loved him to put up with something like this.
So it was after another week Jimin realized he couldn’t let this go on for long. He had to see Jungkook and set things right. Whether it was an apology that he badly owed or a second chance. He didn’t know. His emotions were all over the place.
Jungkook might not even believe him, but he would try. Despite his playful ways of life, Jimin was a good student. He checked with his professors and when he learned he could graduate early, he took the opportunity.
***
The internship was the best thing that could have ever happened to Jungkook. Corentin's Internship was one of the best out there and he was extremely proud of himself.
Three months had passed in a blur. It took him a while to adjust to the new time zone and the busy life in France. Time seemed to fly here and people barely had time for each other. Everything was so different.
Jungkook didn’t have time for himself either. The first thing he did after arriving here was to find a part-time job in one of the Korean establishments. Then he took up French language classes, which in fact made his life easier here.
The classes and his job took up enough time, so he only returned to his accommodation to crash for the night. But into the middle of the night, there was only one face that kept popping behind his closed eyelids. There was only one voice replayed in his mind.
He had known about the outcome and still played with fire. To this date, he didn’t regret his decision. Those memories were the best he had. He was only sad that their time was too short.
Jungkook tried to move on, he really did, emotionally at least. But his damn heart clung to the memories he cherished dearly. He had spent years loving the man of his dreams. A man who returned his affection even if it was only pretending. And the three months were better than any of his imagination ever was. Now that he knew what it felt like to be Jimin’s boyfriend, he only wanted more.
His betraying heart still longed for Jimin. Still, at times, he would dream of Jimin, forgetting their goodbye and pretending as if they were in a long-distance relationship. He said good morning and good night to Jimin in his heart.
It was pathetic, he knew. But a heart wants what it wants.
It was one such boring, uneventful day for Jungkook. He was just done with his work and was stepping out of his art studio when someone came up to him.
“Jungkook, someone is looking for you. He’s in the visitor’s room.”
“Huh?” His eyes widened. “Who?”
“Don’t know.” The fellow student shrugged. “A foreigner.”
Jungkook’s frown deepened. There were only two students who were chosen from Korea for this program. Taehyung just left and everyone here knew him. Who else could it be? He didn’t even have many friends other than Taehyung. Those two tend to stick together these days.
“Okay. I’ll go see him. Thank you.” He inclined his head and headed to the visitor’s room, hand tightening around the strap of his bag.
Corentin was a famous artist well known for his painting and also had established a company that catered to various art-related things. He owned a modest two-floor office in Paris that was majorly filled with art studios, where they learned and also got the opportunity to work on various projects under his guidance.
His thoughts idly strayed to Jimin as he strode through the short corridors, turning around the far end that led to the offices. He entered the visitor’s room without much thought only to freeze when he finally saw who it was.
Jungkook’s jaw went slack as his grip on his bag loosened. He stared in disbelief. This could not be true. He must have gone crazy to start hallucinating. He blinked a few times expecting the figment in front of him to disappear. When that didn’t happen, he patted his cheeks and pinched himself. Still nothing.
“Hi,” Jimin whispered, voice tinged with uncertainty.
“J-Jimin?” he squeaked. “W-What—you’re really here?”
He is here. He is really in front of me. It isn’t my imagination.
“I am.” Jimin looked down at his hands and it was then Jungkook noticed the flowers in his hand.
Purple Hyacinth.
Jungkook loved flowers and even studied them out of pure interest. He knew exactly what they meant.
Please forgive me.
It symbolized the giver’s sadness over a situation in the past and wished for forgiveness. His throat constricted.
“I’m sorry,” Jimin said, voice still uncertain. “I wish I could have come sooner, but I didn’t know if you’d want to see me again.” He looked down at his feet. He looked as if he was contemplating something before he glanced up. “I stopped betting,” he stated earnestly, this time in a serious voice with a lot of sincerity. His features looked sobered. “Losing you made me realize how much of an asshole I was.” His lips stretched in a sad smile. “I felt guilty after you spoke to me that day. I came to apologize but learned that you left already. The guilt was eating me up. I thought I’d feel better after a while, but then I realized it wasn’t just guilt I was feeling.” Tears filled his eyes and Jungkook gasped inaudibly, unable to believe his ears. “I missed you, Jungkook.” He stepped forward, offering the flowers.
Jungkook’s hands trembled as he delicately wrapped his fingers around the stem of the flowers, bringing it to his chest. A lone tear fell on its petal and he couldn’t bring himself to glance at Jimin again.
“Every day I woke up without a good morning text, I missed you more. I couldn’t go to sleep without that good night text with that silly emoji. I didn’t wanna wake up knowing you wouldn’t be there to greet me next morning.”
He lifted his eyes, risking a glance at Jimin and his heart lurched when he saw his tears were now flowing freely without any restraints. Jimin did not attempt to brush them off.
“You bewitched me, Jeon Jungkook. I couldn’t look at a muffin without thinking about you. Without remembering how you would look at them in delight, scrunching that adorable nose while you contemplate what to choose. I missed you going through the damn menu, playing your silly number game to choose between the three drinks you want so badly.” He chuckled lightly. “I missed how you would start talking about the lunch menu right after breakfast and then worry about the calories in taking and working out you would have to do while contemplating whether you should or shouldn’t eat dinner.”
Jungkook’s throat tightened, and a sob rose to his throat dangerously close to spilling out of his mouth.
“I missed your oversized sweaters and stompers. At night, I missed listening to you while you told me about your weird dreams and how you flew in one of them so close to the stars. I missed your goofy smile and every little thing you would do when we were together.” Jimin wiped his tears with a humorless laugh. “I’m someone who didn’t even give a fuck about the others as long as I got my way, but I don’t know how I remembered all this about you. Fuck I know and remember every dress you wore when you were on a date with me.”
This time Jungkook did cry, his grip dangerously tightened around the stem of the flowers. “You do?” he sniffled. “Then tell me what I wore on our sixth date.”
He must be bluffing. Jimin wouldn’t remember what he wore three months ago, would he?
“Yellow oversized sweater with blue jeans ripped at the knee and you paired it with white shoes you bought a week ago on discount. The same shoes you talked about for five minutes non-stop because of the little details they had on their side and you found them cute. You looked so adorable that day.”
Jungkook covered his mouth to stifle another sob. He remembered.
“I really didn’t think I’d notice. I never did or at least I thought so until those three months were all I could think about in the past few months,” Jimin said, his features exceptionally fond.
“What are you doing here?” Jungkook asked, fighting off another sob.
“I had to come to see you.” Jimin took a deep breath. “I couldn’t waste another second knowing that you love me and I was a fool for not seeing it before. I could have tried to find your number or contact you through social media but I didn’t want this to be a chance for me to say I’m sorry and move on.” He moved closer, taking his hand in his. “Up until you came in, my intention was to beg for your forgiveness and leave you alone if you didn’t want me here. But I just realized it’s impossible for me to walk away again.” He brought his hand to his chest. “So, Jeon Jungkook, I beg you to forgive me for my foolishness and give me another chance to prove to you that I can be a better person for you. And if you don’t want to, that’s okay. But I’m now leaving you. I’ll keep coming back until you give me another chance.”
Jungkook laughed through his tears. His heart fluttered and his stomach flipped. How could he forget? Jimin was a romantic though he used his charms for something else. “You’re crazy,” he sniffled.
“I’m crazy for you.”
Jungkook shook his head. “You’re not in Seoul anymore.”
“I know.”
“What are you gonna do here?” he asked incredulously.
“My dad is rich.” Jimin shrugged as if that would answer his questions. “Well, I graduated early and I thought I could enroll in a post-graduate program here while I look for a job.”
Jungkook blinked. “Really?”
Jimin smiled. “How else am I gonna woo you?”
Jungkook shook his head. “Quit playing games with my heart, Jimin.” He sighed, trying to control the butterflies and a flicker of hope that was spreading at an alarming rate in his chest. “You already own my heart. You have owned it for years.” His throat constricted. “You don’t have to try so hard. You already won.” He averted his gaze.
Jimin cupped the side of his face, forcing him to look him in the eye. “And I took it for granted,” he whispered. “I might not have known what you were feeling for me, but I was certainly aware of what I was doing. I was careless with you. I played with your feelings. I hurt you.”
“Jimin…”
“Let me cherish it this time, Jungkook. Give me a chance, please…Let me prove it to you. Let me show you that I’m worthy of your love.”
Jungkook’s tears broke free and he nodded. “Okay,” he sniffled. “Prove it to me then, Park Jimin.” He couldn’t wait anymore, he threw his arms around him, burying his nose into his neck. “I’m a fool for letting you do this again, but don’t play with my heart again, Jimin. I don’t think I’ll survive a second time if you break my heart.”
“I won’t,” Jimin was quick to reply, his arms tightening around him. “I promise I won’t.”
***
5 years later…
“Baby, I’m home!”
Jungkook looked up from his painting that he was so immersed in completing these days to see Jimin removing his shoes and putting them in their designated space. He removed his mask and smiled at him before approaching the art studio he set up in the corner of their modest one-bedroom apartment in Seoul.
“Hey, baby,” Jimin whispered. “How is it going?” He kissed his lips, savoring it for a moment before pulling back and glancing at his painting.
“Today was a good day,” Jungkook beamed looking at his painting. “I have a lot to do though.”
“I’m sure you will do great.” Jimin kissed his cheek. “Are you hungry? I brought Dak galbi.”
His stomach rumbled in answer. “Yes, I’m starving. I skipped lunch.” Jungkook hopped off his tool to clean his hands while Jimin unpacked the food and placed them neatly on the counter.
“I can’t even scold you for skipping lunch.” Jimin sighed. “You make me worry so much. I didn’t call because I know how you get when you go into that zone.”
“Sorry.” He skipped toward him, kissing his cheek and hugging him from the back. “You know I can’t help it.”
“I know.” Jimin smiled. He craned his neck and Jungkook immediately kissed his lips. “Come on. Let’s eat first.”
Jungkook nodded eagerly and hurried to his chair. Jimin was an amazing boyfriend—oops…fiancé of two years. As he glanced at him serving food, he couldn’t help but wonder how far they’d come.
Their journey hasn’t been an easy one. Not in the least. Two years into their dating, Jimin’s dad had found out about them. Overnight, Jimin found himself thrown to the streets and his cards revoked. Fortunately, he was in his final semester and also had a partial scholarship.
He refused to budge from his father’s condition who demanded that he leave Jungkook because he didn’t want his son to marry another man. Both had worked hard, but Jimin worked harder, proving day in and day out he could be a better person and a boyfriend like he promised.
When he finally landed a promising job in Seoul, Jungkook decided to come back and settle here. Jimin supported him through his career and now he had a decent list of clients. Apart from that he also held art exhibitions in a few museums now and then.
When they began to eat, Jungkook realized he was happy. Happier and contented than he ever was. This was what he always wanted. Life was better with Jimin by his side.
“I love you,” he whispered, grabbing Jimin’s hand to kiss his knuckles.
The smile broke out on his face wiped away any exhaustion Jungkook felt. “I love you too.”