Chapter Text
Rui stayed bottled up in his room for the rest of the day, also missing practice. Rui looked at his phone as it buzzed again, he didn’t want to check the messages Nene and Tsukasa had sent him. He didn’t want to acknowledge his problems outside his room, he found it easier to pretend the rest of the world didn’t exist.
“Rui! Dinners done, come eat!”
Rui realized how hungry he was, it was getting to the point where it started to hurt. He hadn’t eaten since he had lunch with Tsukasa.
“I really should go eat..”
It took Rui a few minutes but he finally rolled out of bed and walked to the door.
“I’ll be down there in a second.”
Rui glanced at his phone again before leaving his room.
“Wow, you look terrible..”
“He hasn’t come out of his room all day until now.”
“You could at least tidy up, people other than you live here you know..”
“Sorry.”
Rui sat down at the dinner table and began eating.
“Aren’t you gonna go with your theatre group today?”
“No.”
“You rarely miss your meetings that you have with them, are you sure you’re ok Rui?”
“I’m sure he’s fine, probably just being dramatic. He’s at that age.”
“I suppose you’re right.. I still can’t help but feel worried for him though.”
“I’m fine mom, really. You don’t have to worry too much.”
Rui put on his most comforting smile for his mom. He cared for both his parents, although it was easier to comfort his mom. His mom quickly turned to sadness while his father was better at staying calm unless he was tired. However he knew they were trying, or at least that’s what he believed.
“The food is really good.”
“Thank you, your mom helped quite a bit this time too. Maybe, just maybe she’ll be able to cook a meal that’s actually edible soon enough.”
“Just cause they taste bad doesn’t mean they aren’t edible..”
Rui’s mom let out a sigh.
“Thank you for the food.”
Rui finished his food and cleaned up his plate.
“I’m going back to my room.”
“Don’t forget, even though it’s the weekend you still should get out!”
“I’ll keep that in mind, dad.”
Rui went back up to his room before anyone could say anything else.
“I really should check my phone, at this point they might think I’m dead.”
Rui let out a small laugh. He picked up his phone to see missed messages from Nene. Tsukasa, and even Emu.
Emu
Ruiiii are you doing ok? Everyone is worried about you
Anyways I hope you feel better soon if you do feel unwell Wonerhoyyy!!!(ノ＞▽＜。)ノ
Nene
Rui where are you?
You never miss school let alone practice without letting me know
Rui if you don’t respond I’m coming over and confronting you myself
“Rui! Get down here!”
It took Rui a moment to register what the last message meant.
“RUI!”
“I’m coming!”
Rui made his way downstairs to see his dad talking to Nene.
“Nene was worried about you and decided to stop by.”
“Thank you dad, shouldn’t you be getting to bed though?”
“I guess you’re right, it was nice seeing you Nene.”
“It was nice seeing you too, Mr. Kamishiro.”
As soon as Rui’s dad left the room Nene glared at Rui.
“I’m.. where do I even start. For one everyone’s worried about you, it’s not like you to just disappear like that. And two, I thought you looked terrible before but this is a new low.”
Rui just glared down at Nene, which didn’t help as Nene was already nervous confronting him.
“Hm? I’m sorry I was.. zoning out. Want to sit down?”
Nene nodded and they both went over to the couch.
“You aren’t even listening. First, why weren’t you at school?”
“I didn’t feel well.”
“You always message me when you don’t feel well though, and you almost never miss practice.”
“It was so bad I couldn’t get out of bed, I’m sorry I left you waiting.”
“It sure looks like it was that bad.. Anyways, everyone's worried, especially Tsukasa. Have you two gotten closer lately?”
“Why do you say Tsukasa was especially worried?”
“I expected him to just be his loud obnoxious self and make petty complaints about you not being there, but he seemed really concerned. He immediately asked about you when I got to practice and I caught him zoning out once or twice.”
“He texted me quite a lot but I didn’t get to answer them.. do you mind if I grab my phone and respond to him?”
“It’s fine.”
Rui gave Nene a smile before heading to his room. He picked up his phone and scrolled to the only name with a star beside it. It was a mix of emotions looking at the name and profile picture. Rui really liked Tsukasa, but there was also the feeling of not being good enough for him.
Tsukasa☆
Rui are you at school?
If you are, I can not find you for the life of me..
I asked Nene and she said you didn’t come to school or talk to you, is everything ok?
I’m getting really worried
Are you coming to rehearsal?
I hope you feel better soon
Text me when you get the chance
Rui
Tsukasa I didn’t expect you to text me so much, I appreciate your concern and I’m doing better now
After reading the messages from Tsukasa it started to set in how much Rui had made them worry.
What am I doing?
Rui’s eyes burned as he felt the tears well up.
“Not now..”
Rui wiped at his eyes until he felt comfortable enough to go back down to Nene. He finally went back downstairs to the living room and sat across from Nene.
“Sorry for the wait, something got stuck in my eye.”
“It’s fine, I’m just glad you're ok. You haven’t been feeling well a lot recently.. I think it’d be best to see a doctor at this point. I’m sure we can convince your dad.”
“I suppose..”
“Rui, are you even listening?”
Rui was having quite a lot of trouble focusing, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Nene.
“Mhm.”
“Yeah you definitely need to see a doctor, I’ll mention it to your dad tomorrow.”
“I appreciate it, thank you Nene.”
In truth Rui hadn’t fully registered what she said but didn’t want to make her worry more with delayed responses.
“Alright I’m leaving now, goodbye Rui.”
“Goodnight, Nene.”
Nene got up from the couch and got ready to leave at the door. As she was about to step out, she paused and glanced back at Rui for a few seconds.
When Nene left Rui started silently crying again. He felt so weak and helpless, he didn’t want to make his co workers worry yet disappeared without an explanation and ghosted them.
“What the hell am I doing?! I can’t.. I can’t keep doing this, but I can’t stop either. I have to keep the act up. I wish I could just disappear, I wish they’d all just forget about me and I wouldn’t have to worry about this anymore. But that’s never gonna happen, I shouldn’t even be thinking about it.”
Rui’s nails dug into his face as he covered his eyes with his hands, he decided it would be best to go back to his room.
As Rui entered his room he heard his phone buzz again, and felt a mix of emotions when he realized it was Tsukasa.
Tsukasa☆
I’m glad you’re doing better
And my apologies for spamming you, I’m not sure why I did
Rui
It’s alright, don’t worry about it
Tsukasa☆
So I was wondering if when you feel well enough we could all go hangout as a group? By we I mean our coworkers
Rui
That sounds nice, I’m sure I’ll feel better by tomorrow
Tsukasa☆
I should go to bed now
Goodnight Rui
Rui
Goodnight Tsukasa
“I should tidy up if I’m going out tomorrow.”
Rui picked out his clothes for tomorrow and showered, he also decided on a casual makeup look to put on.
Mission make Rui feel better!!
Tsukasa☆
I asked Rui if he wanted to hang out with us and he said yes!
Nene
That’s surprising.. I just stopped by his house and he looked terrible
And by terrible I don’t mean his usual overworked look, he look like he’d been stuck up in his room all week
Tsukasa☆
Really? It’s hard to imagine he looks worse than usual
Emu
I’m so excited to see him tomorrow!!
Tsukasa☆
Emu?! I thought you were asleep by now
Emu
Normally I am but I just couldn’t sleep thinking about this
Nene
I think it’s best we all sleep now, and we haven’t decided where we’re going yet
Tsukasa☆
We can figure that out tomorrow, I already said goodnight to Rui anyways
Anyways, goodnight my beloved coworkers Nene and Emu!
Emu
Goodnight!!!
Nene
You’re still this extra over text? Anyways, goodnight
Rui’s POV
Rui awoke not long after he fell asleep, though the voice didn’t bother him as much he still dreamed of himself in the darkness. Dreams of himself sitting there desperate to wake up, overthinking every little decision he made during his waking hours. It made Rui feel trapped in a sense, having to deal with reality and not even being able to use sleep as an escape.
“What was today..?”
Rui mumbled to himself as he lay awake trying to remember. He turned his head to see the clothes previously picked out from last night.
“Ah, I can’t believe I forgot.”
It took Rui a while but he finally got out of bed and began getting ready. He finished getting ready rather quickly and still had some time to kill before everyone else woke up.
In truth, with nothing else to do Rui’s mind couldn’t help but start to come up with things that could go wrong. Rui wasn’t used to hanging out with others outside of school, other than rehearsals he didn’t go out often outside of school. Part of him didn’t want to accept the invite in fear of what could go wrong, but he had already disappeared without warning, and made the others worry, and felt like he owed them something.
“Wait, doesn’t Tsukasa wake up early? I’m sure he’s awake right now assuming he wakes up early on days off.”
Rui found his phone and checked the time.
“Six, I’m sure everyone will meet up at around 10 to one.”
Rui
Are you awake?
Tsukasa☆
What on earth are you doing awake so early?! I’m assuming you woke up earlier than this too..
Rui
I could say the same for you
Tsukasa☆
At least I go to bed at a decent time..
Rui
I can't argue with that I suppose
Anyways, when are we meeting up
Tsukasa☆
So you’re feeling better?
Rui
I wouldn’t go if I didn’t feel well enough, don’t worry
Tsukasa☆
Well I don’t think Emu and Nene are up yet
We can set up a time when they wake up
Have you had breakfast?
Rui
I haven’t
Tsukasa☆
My sister won’t be up anytime soon and I have nothing else to do, do you want to meet up and eat?
Rui
I’d love to but I think it’d be inconvenient to meet this early
Tsukasa☆
I thought about that, and thought maybe we could meet in the Sekai
It will take me a little while to prepare the food though if that’s ok with you?
Rui had almost forgotten about the Sekai, he didn’t want to think about it after he broke down.
“I.. I’m not sure I can go back yet, but I don’t want to let Tsukasa down.”
Normally Rui wouldn’t feel too bad rejecting someone, but something inside him really wanted to be around Tsukasa. After some more debating and more mumbling to himself, Rui finally reached a conclusion.
Rui
I’ll be there
Tsukasa☆
Great! I’ll let you know when the foods done
“I’ll go to the Sekai early and apologize to Kaito while Tsukasa’s cooking. I can't run away from them forever.. he was only trying to help and I ran away again.”
Rui’s nails dug into his palm as he thought of the memory. Realizing what he was doing he quickly pressed play before he could replay the memory anymore. In an instant he was transported into the lively Sekai.
“Rui?”
Rui turned his head to see Miku, While normally she’d be overjoyed to see someone visiting, Rui could see worry hidden in her expression.
“Is something wrong, Miku? You look a little worried.”
“Oh um, It’s nothing! Sorry I just wasn’t.. expecting you to come back so soon. I heard about what happened.. between you and Kaito.”
“Ah.. I see.”
Before Rui could think of what else to say, he heard footsteps behind him that he easily identified. He turned his head one again to face Kaito. The memory of last time started to attack his mind again, which caused Rui to become visibly uncomfortable. Rui suddenly felt a Tap on his shoulder from behind, which made him return from his thoughts. Rui avoided eye contact with Kaito as he talked.
“Kaito.. I don’t know where to start. I’m so sorry I left again I-“
“Rui, it’s alright. I’m just glad you’ve recovered.”
Rui looked at Kaito to see his expression filled with genuine relief.
“I’m going to be meeting with Tsukasa here soon.”
Kaito seemed a bit surprised and also unexpectedly happy after hearing the statement.
“Why don’t me and the others help you set up a place to eat?”
“I’d appreciate that.”
That went.. surprisingly well. It almost seemed too simple. Shouldn’t Kaito be mad I left again? He’s gone out of his way to help me so many times yet all I’ve done is run away. Why does he keep helping in the first place? He says it’s because he cares but why does he even care in the first place-
“Rui?”
“Hm?”
“What are you thinking about?”
“Oh I..”
There’s no point in lying, he can tell.
“I just thought you’d be mad is all.”
Kaito thought for a moment.
“I’m not mad Rui, really. I appreciate you coming to apologize as well. I get why you left, and I should’ve taken how comfortable you were into more consideration.”
Kaito smiled at Rui before leaving to go grab a blanket for Tsukasa and Rui to dine on. As Kaito left Rui felt his phone buzz in his pocket.
Tsukasa☆
I’ll be there soon!
Rui
I’ll be waiting
Rui looked up to see Tsukasa appear not too far away from him, Tsukasa looked around until he spotted Rui.
“Rui!”
“Good Morning Tsukasa, did you really make breakfast by yourself?”
Rui glanced down at the basket Tsukasa was holding, which seemed to be full.
“Mhm! It’s only right that a future star like me knows how to cook a fine meal to start the day!”
“Here, let me hold it for you. We should find some place to eat.”
Tsukasa handed Rui the basket and immediately got to searching, Rui following behind him.
“Tsukasa!!”
Miku ran up to Tsukasa and hugged him.
“Wha!? Jeez you could at least warn me first..”
Miku laughed and waved to Rui.
“What are you two doing?”
“We’re searching for a place to eat.”
Miku stood there thinking for a moment with a finger resting on her chin when suddenly her eyes lit up with excitement.
“I know just the place! Come on!”
Miku started running off, Tsukasa started to chase her while Rui walked following far behind them. As Rui was walking Kaito spotted him and caught up to him.
“Rui? What are you doing?”
“Miku and Tsukasa are finding a place to eat.”
Kaito looked into the distance to see the two running off.
“You know, I’m really glad you and Tsukasa are getting to know each other better.”
Kaito’s eyes softened and his lips formed into a small smile.
“I think Tsukasa appreciates it more than you realize.”
Rui was visibly confused by this.
What did he mean by that? It was a little strange Tsukasa chose to hang out with me instead of others, I know he has friends that are willing to eat lunch with him. I never really thought about it though, I guess I was just glad to have someone to eat with. But I can’t think of a reason for why he would appreciate me more than others.
They both walked in silence until they caught up with Miku and Kaito. It was a nice area, with bright green grass and a beautiful view of the Sekai.
“You don’t disappoint Miku.”
“Mhm, I’m glad you like it!”
“Took you long enough..”
“I didn’t know you had so much stamina, Tsukasa.”
Tsukasa sighed at the comment while Rui put on a playful smile. Kaito set the blanket on the grass and flattened it out for the two to sit on.
“Thank you, Kaito and Miku.”
“Don’t worry about it! Come to me if you need anything else.”
Both of the virtual singers left, leaving the two alone.
“Set the basket down here.”
Rui set the basket on the blanket and sat down in front of the basket, Tsukasa sitting next to Rui. Tsukasa opened the basket revealing the breakfast he had prepared.
“I was worried it would be cold by now, but it seems fine.”
Tsukasa pulled out plates and silverware and prepared the food. Rui watched almost entranced, Tsukasa handled the food so delicately and it was hard to believe someone like him could be so gentle.
“I hope you enjoy!”
Rui examined the food Tsukasa had presented. Noticing Rui staring at the food, Tsukasa grew a bit nervous.
“What are you thinking about?”
“It has no vegetables.”
“Hm? Of course it doesn’t, I know you don’t like them.”
Rui smiled a genuine smile that made Tsukasa’s heart flutter.
“Thank you, Tsukasa.”
“I-it was no trouble at all.”
Tsukasa tried hiding his flustered expression with his usual smile, which only made Rui chuckle. Rui took the first bite of the food and Tsukasa watched closely as he ate.
“Why are you watching me?”
“Oh I just wanted to see if you liked the food, I’ve learned how to pick up on little giveaways to whether people like my food or not.”
“It’s really good, I didn’t expect you to be such a good cook.”
“Hey, is that supposed to be an insult?!”
Tsukasa crossed his arms waiting for a response as Rui chewed another bite of the breakfast he prepared.
“I suppose it could be taken that way, your reaction was quite extra though.”
“Whatever..”
“It seems Nene’s vocabulary is rubbing off on you, Tsukasa.”
Rui chuckled at his own comment as Tsukasa grew more defensive.
“What?! How did you even come to that conclusion? I’d expect a better observation from a director.”
“While I’d love to keep this going, you haven’t even taken a bite of your food yet.”
Tsukasa sighed.
“You’re right, I won’t forget this so easily though..”
They both ate their breakfast with the occasional bickering and talk about their next show.
“That was quite nice, thank you for the meal Tsukasa.”
“A future star needs to provide for his director as well!”
“I suppose, what time is it Tsukasa?”
Tsukasa pulled out his phone to see it was almost eight.
“Around eight, I haven’t gotten a text from the others.”
Rui nodded. A silence stood between the two, Tsukasa fidgeting with his sleeve while Rui stared at the endless sky of the Sekai. He wondered if there was more up there, more unimaginable attractions that belonged to the theme park.
“Tsukasa, can I ask you something?”
“Hm? Of course!”
Rui wanted to ask him why he chose him over others, and if he knew what Kaito meant when he mentioned Tsukasa earlier.
“Nevermind, it was nothing important.”
Tsukasa sighed. He sat there for a moment more before starting to pick up the mess they had left.
I’m not sure if I should’ve accepted this invitation, I probably shouldn’t have even texted Tsukasa in the first place.. it’s best we just stay as the director and the actor.
Words from the being from his dreams flooded through Rui’s mind, his fists tightened and he felt his fingernails dig into his palm.
I’m sorry Tsukasa.. it shouldn’t be me with you, enjoying the breakfast you put together. It should be someone worthy, worthy of being in the presence of such a star. I wish.. I wish I was worthy of such a privilege. I’m sorry, I’m sorry-
“Rui?”
Rui was brought back from his thoughts to notice a sharp pain radiating from his palm.
“You’re bleeding!”
Tsukasa put the plates he was holding aside and rushed over to Rui, sitting down in front of him.
“Let me see your palm.”
Rui, still distraught from his thoughts, took a moment to register what Tsukasa’s words meant. He softened the grip of his hand and slowly lifted it towards Tsukasa. Tsukasa gently moved Rui’s fingers to see his palm better, like how he gently set up the breakfast they ate together. The breakfast he assumed he ruined.
“How on earth did you do that without noticing..”
Tsukasa pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and lightly dabbed Rui’s palm.
“Sorry I.. I must’ve been really out of it.”
Worry seeped through Tsukasa’s bright expression, which only made the aching in Rui’s heart grow.
“Are you sure you’re alright, Rui?”
“Yes, I’m fine. I don’t think I got enough sleep last night is all, I can manage.”
Tsukasa sighed and continued to dab Rui’s wound.
“You don’t have to go with us today if you don’t want to.”
Tsukasa’s normally loud and obnoxious way of speaking was now a foreign soft and calm way of speaking. Rui didn’t know what it was, Tsukasa helping him with his wound, that he had prepared breakfast for him, or just inviting him to dine with him, but something about Tsukasa right now made Rui feel a strange emotion he didn’t recognize. An emotion full of warmth and comfort, he realized he had felt this around Tsukasa before but never this much. He also felt intrigued by the sudden change in Tsukasa.
“Rui? Are you even listening?”
“Hm?”
Ah, his usual tone of voice was back.
“Nothing, you were dozing off again..”
Tsukasa sighed again, it was like his only response when he felt disappointed.
“I really think you should stay home today, I mean we can’t have our director going out of his way to hang out with his co-workers just to be dozing off the whole time!”
Rui forced a chuckle to escape his lips, he couldn’t enjoy Tsukasa’s normal attitude when he just found another part of Tsukasa only for it to be taken and hidden from him.
“The others aren’t awake yet, it’s not too late to cancel..”
“I suppose you’re right. Thank you, Tsukasa.”
“You don’t deserve to know anything more about him anyways, have you forgotten your place?”
Rui every so slightly flinched as he heard the voice that haunted him, yet Tsukasa still noticed the slight movement and panic that flooded Rui’s eyes.
“Rui? Are you alright?! I really think you should get home now..”
Rui could only nod and pull out his phone to leave the Sekai. Tsukasa was left with nothing but worry for the director he had an unexplainable attraction for.
Mission make Rui feel better!!
Tsukasa☆
Plans for today are canceled