Chapter Text
The ground crunched beneath Shinjuro's feet, and the noise filled the otherwise silent night with sound. The Hashira, who should've been home by dawn, was now walking home from his mission which he completed around an hour ago. He truly should've been home by dawn and it did seem that way with how quickly the mission went by. However, the man is now late and walking in the dark of night because in that same hour ago, Shinjuro had knocked out a kid.
A teen with short black hair, ruffled and messy from the distraught of the fight from earlier. A fight that Shinjuro technically won, beating a child is not something Shinjuro indulges in, but he had to tonight. The teen's pink eyelashes seemed to sparkle in the moonlight, though, that was an exaggeration. Still, having pink eyelashes was not common. Just like how Shinjuro's hair wasn't common.
Hakuji, the teen, still laid dormant on Shinjuro's shoulder. The young boy hadn't stirred once in his sleep, in fact, he was acting as a rather peaceful sleeper. Throughout the continuing journey home, Hakuji hadn't snored or shifted once. Shinjuro actually had to check once if he was alive and that Shinjuro didn't just commit a human murder. The boy was alive, yes, thankfully. He was just a tranquil sleeper. A corpse of a sleeper. If Hakuji did occasionally move, it was because of Shinjuro repositioning him.
The fact that the boy was a silent sleeper definitely took Shinjuro by surprise. Just by the looks of it, no one would generally guess that Hakuji could be this quiet in his sleep. With his bursting anger and personality that Shinjuro saw when they first met, no one would assume he could ever be silent.. It was impressive, and it was handy. There wasn't a snore or movement in his rest! All 3 of Shinjuro's children at least made some sort of ruckus in their slumber.
Kyojuro snored lightly, Iguro mumbled out his dreams, and Senjuro changed positions often. To see Hakuji motionless, stripped of his bustling life, it certainly was a first..
The wafting scent of wisteria shook Shinjuro out of the memory of him checking on his children as they slept, remembering these habits easily. Shinjuro had come to check on the kids often, especially at night, it wasn't because of demons though. Shinjuro had full faith in the wisteria repelling the damn things. No, Shinjuro didn't want to admit, but he was constantly worried.
All 3 of them normally stay up at night, waiting for his return and to catch him in the dark of the night. So he made it a habit to check on them while they were in their rooms at night. Though they weren't the ones who sprung this habit in the first place, it actually originated when Ruka.. When his wife became ill.
Shinjuro tilted his head up and he was met with the familiar sight of a far away town surrounded by the familiar branches of wisteria trees. He would be home soon, Shinjuro knew, so it was time to think of how he would approach Hakuji's growing rage.
The boy would certainly be confused upon waking up, followed up by anger and hatred toward Shinjuro for stealing his chance at vengence.
Shinjuro knew he couldn't blame Hakuji for this, for being mad and wanting a form of relief. The loss of someone close to you can make one do unspeakable things. Terrifying things. Still, however, Shinjuro would not hesitate to have a 'talk' with Hakuji if they were to get into an argument about how he was going to hurt people for the sake of finding peace for one's already decaying body.
So how should Shinjuro approach?
He could tackle it immediately, try to explain to Hakuji how revenge isn't a good escape for his grief. How this action could worsen one's life further and push them down a hole that they couldn't climb out of.. A hole Shinjuro himself almost fell into..
Shinjuro could also welcome Hakuji and act oblivious to his actions, treating him like an innocent boy with no sin in mind.
That was a stupid option.
To allow Hakuji to roam around his house with a rotting anger inside of him is dangerous.. One of the kids or someone from town could get hurt for even trying to talk to the boy. So putting Hakuji in a locked room was definitely on board and was probably what Shinjuro was going to do. But not forever. Shinjuro wasn't cruel enough to lock someone up for all of eternity for only thinking of doing something wrong.. If Hakuji did end up following vengence, however, Shinjuro might change his mind.
Either way, Shinjuro would confront him alone and see how well it goes. Depending on the answer, Hakuji would be let out in the morning, or well, whenever he woke up.
Nonetheless, Shinjuro was going to knock some sense into Hakuji whether he liked it or not. Shinjuro was going to nail the thought of 'revenge isn't good' into Hakuji's mind that it's the only thing he can ever recall when thinking of the damn word. He already did it to the other 3, courtesy of Kyojuro almost punching a man when he spoke to Senjuro in a wrong way. It was a good life lesson, so what's teaching it once more?
With the plan now in mind, Shinjuro continued down the path toward town. He was now thinking of ways he could explain to the kids how he had basically kidnapped a boy.. He had a feeling it would be much more simple then he thought.
Crouched down on the floor, Hakuji found himself refolding some laundry on the Dojo's engawa.
"Hakuji!" her voice called out to him from the room, the maiden poked her head out the door and beckoned him closer with her hand. "Dinner's ready!"
Hakuji looked up and blinked at her before lifting himself off the floor, leaving the basket of laundry behind..
What had he been doing? He couldn't recall anymore. Everything became a hazy blur and he didn't want to figure it out. The maiden's sweet voice was calling for him, calling for him to do what?
"Hurry, it'll get cold!"
Cold?
True, food does get cold when left out. Hakuji found a small smile on his face and pivoted his feet to turn his body toward her figure. Her face was still as bright and red as ever, it was a soothing sight. To witness her out of bed, no longer confined to it like her previous days.. Hakuji was glad that she got better over time. Her words were fogged over as his feet began to move. Each step felt long and slow and Hakuji wondered if it was always like this. His eyes watched as the maiden ducked behind the door, fully entering the room that Hakuji swore he would get to.
The wood creaked beneath his steps as Hakuji finally reached the door to the dinner room. The teen was met with the sight of his maiden and his hero enjoying a warm bowl of food at the table. It was such a soothing sight, Hakuji wanted it to last forever. The hero called out for him to sit and the maiden smiled with joy as he did.. The criminal felt fuzzy as he picked up the cup of water laid out for him. He was about to take a sip when his yukata was pulled on by fragile hands. He glanced over at the maiden and her red lips smiled further at the criminal, yet she didn't speak a word.
All of them gave gratitude for their meal as the maiden and hero ate. Yet, the criminal didn't taste a single bit of his food. Each time he attempted to reach for a piece of the feast, either the hero or the maiden would stop him abruptly. They would either grab him and smile, or strike up a quick conversation that barely lasted a few seconds. The criminal wondered if they did it on purpose, but he knew it couldn't have been pure coincidence that it happened each time the criminal wanted food that they would restrict him.
Yet another time as the criminal reached for at least the cup of water, the maiden pulled his hand away and held it in her own. He was met with another soft smile that warmed his heart as she slowly let go of his hand. Yes, the criminal loved her smile, he loved the hero's voice as well, but he also wanted to eat. If he had to be that blunt, then he would be.
"Hey, can I eat now?" he sheepishly blurted out, tilting his head to the side as the two didn't bat an eye. For now, he would take it as a yes.
The criminal went to pick something up as the hero tapped the table to get his attention, which it did. The criminal was now staring at the hero, waiting for something to happen, for him to strike up a conversation or actually tell him no. Yet the hero did no such thing, much like the maiden, he grinned at the criminal with pure happiness. It made the criminal confused, but he liked the smile none the less.. Until that once white and polished grin started leaking red.
The criminal's eyes widened at the sight and blood kept pouring out of the hero's mouth. He turned toward the maiden who was leaking all the same, but, was she always bleeding? The criminal couldn't tell, he went to grab her and check over her health, but his hold was met with nothing. It simply didn't make it, it didn't touch or grab her as intended. The criminal tried to do it again, but the result stayed the same. He couldn't save them.
Both the hero and maiden continued eating as if they weren't bleeding. They kept feasting and biting their food, drinking their water as if they were okay. That nothing was wrong with how their mouths dripped red with their insides.
Suddenly, the scene changed in the criminal's mind. The magnificent and plentiful feast that they were eating, that they were indulging in, was now replaced with the sight of rotten bugs and food. Some of the stuff barely looked edible, and all the rest had no chance of being properly consumed at all. Still, the hero and maiden kept indulging.
The two didn't stop feasting upon the atrocious meal in front of them, and as the maiden stuffed a centipede down her throat, the criminal thought he was going to be sick. Bugs and blood dribbled out of their mouths, staining their cheery smiles with disgusting remnants of death. This scene wasn't right, the hero devouring a bowl of spiders wasn't right. The criminal having to watch as the bugs crawled across their faces and broke apart in their teeth wasn't fucking right.
It was horrific. It was cruel. It was torture watching those the criminal loved ingest something so repulsive as they acted like everything they were doing was something they did every day! Hearing the wings of a bee getting crushed in someone's mouth, someone you know, is something that doesn't happen on a normal day!
The criminal felt like he was going to lose his mind. He was going to vomit at this, but he held himself back in case they'd eat that too. He had to watch as the hero and maiden chewed on wasps and butterflies until they were full, he had to witness them eating expired and soggy food that looked like it had just been tossed into a puddle and called dinner for them.
It felt like hours before they finally stopped stuffing themselves with the pile of shit they dubbed a meal. The criminal watched as both of them began turning their gaze at him, and he begged they didn't expect him to do the same anytime soon. To his luck and disgust, the two began to grab their cups of water. Throughout the whole scene, the criminal didn't know if the water had turned into a cup of muddled oil or not. He didn't wanna witness it if it turned out to be so, yet his head refused to listen and turn away.
The hero and maiden lifted their cups and brought it to their lips, the criminal heard as both of them began to drink away at the liquid in the cup. He really hoped that the cup had water instead of something poisonous like tar.
He watched as they placed their cup down on the table, and he watched as the hero's body laid back and fell to the ground with a large thump. The criminal knew, he could see it with the way his eyes rolled back and went limp, the hero was dead and.. His final meal was a plate of bugs. It was terrifying, it was disturbing.. The criminal shot his gaze at the maiden and hoped that she wouldn't do the same. She was still sitting peacefully with a blood stained smile on her face, but she was alive.
The criminal made a move to hold her, to wish and beg for her to live, but he watched as his hand made no contact and her body fell to the ground.
The next thing Hakuji knew, he was waking up in a cold sweat. Almost immediately, he sat up on the futon, darting his eyes around for something familar.
There was no dinner, there were no bugs, there was no rotten scraps of food, not for him. It took him a minute to realize that the dinner truly was a dream, that Keizo and Koyuki hadn't actually been eating bugs before their death. Their last meal.. It might as well have been the same as the dream. Poisonous.
Hakuji dreaded it already, the dream, it was creepy and nauseating.. It was absolutely disgusting. He could still recall the sight of Keizo's teeth infested with spider legs.. Combined with the fact that Keizo and Koyuki were actually dead too.. Hakuji just couldn't escape from reality huh?
Koyuki and Keizo, his wife and his master, the maiden and the hero.. They were really, actually, undoubtedly, dead! Now it was only the criminal left alive.
Hakuji wanted to laugh it off, pretend it was a nightmare in a nightmare because the hero and the maiden always lived in the end! They were the important ones, they were the pure of heart.. In all the stories Hakuji's seen because of Keizo, that's always what happened. There'd always be a good ending in those books..
But this was real life. Nothing was guaranteed so you had to fight to get a higher chance of it happening.
Hakuji did fight, he fought as hard as he could. He fought and stole from all those people to have a higher chance of getting money for his father. He fought a Dojo with Keizo so Koyuki had a better chance of being safe. He fought and trained with Keizo so he would get a better chance at being stronger, a better chance at protecting those he loved.
Yet, even with all his strength, even with all of his hard fought battles, he still lost them. He lost his father, he lost Koyuki, and he lost Keizo. His fighting didn't help their chances, it didn't change a thing! They were still dead! Hung and poisoned all because of the selfish world around them!
Hakuji didn't help! Hakuji didn't do anything! His fighting, his battles, they were useless. They didn't serve a purpose at all because they still ended up dead.. So Hakuji was going to give them a purpose. To beat the ever-loving shit out of those Dojo Weaklings, to get revenge for Keizo and Koyuki.. It was what drove Hakuji to continue now. To get revenge. He was aware that the concept was bad. He was aware to not 'fight fire with fire'. He was aware of all of that, he wasn't that dumb..
But that didn't mean Hakuji didn't want to do it. It was tempting, it was luring him in and Hakuji would gladly take the bait knowing it would kill him in the end.
His eyes focused in on his surroundings, shaking off the fear from the nightmare that awoke him.
It wasn't the dojo, that's for sure, the wood and room was much newer than the rotting walls of Keizo's Dojo. So Hakuji wondered where he was.. Until he remembered the man that had knocked him out. Fireball, he would dub the man for now because of his bright fucking hair, was nowhere to be seen. Only half-lit walls revealed themselves to Hakuji, and he couldn't discern which one was the door to leave, so he took a break from the exterior of the room.
He glanced down to see a small cup of water by his futon, as well as a note beside it. Hakuji made no motion to grab the water and simply took the note instead. He didn't feel like consuming anything.. Hakuji rubbed his eyes to fully erase his slumbered vision before properly reading the note.
"Hey," it read, "sorry for knocking you out." he squinted at that.
Now Hakuji knew who made this note, it was Fireball.
"Don't leave this room, I will be with you in a moment." Hakuji gritted his teeth and crumpled the paper in his hand at the words. 'Don't leave this room', this guy really expected Hakuji to do just that huh? He left Hakuji alone in a room, all by himself, with what looked to be no guards, just from the little trust they had. Which was barely any. Seriously, Hakuji attacked the man and the man knocked Hakuji out. He interrupted Hakuji from going to the Dojo.. Was this man stupid or something?
As Hakuji prepared to pull his covers off of him, he heard a noise from one of the walls.
Turns out, the wall wasn't a wall and in fact the door to the room instead! The figure that opened it stood still in the frame and the soft light that entered the room threw Hakuji off guard.
He shielded his eyes and instinctively dove under the covers. Keizo used to always do this to wake Hakuji up, let the sunlight in and bathe him in it before they started breakfast and training. Hakuji never really enjoyed it, but..
"You're awake." a man's voice, Hakuji noticed, and Hakuji recognized it after a moment..
Fireball.
Hakuji tore the covers off of himself after realizing that this was the man who knocked him out in the first place! He sat up once again and squinted further as the figure stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. Now Hakuji could get a better look at him.
Fireball was wearing a plain red yukata and the usual indoor sandals. His hair was still as bright and fiery as Hakuji remembered, it'd be quite hard to miss. It was the whole reason 'Fireball' was his name right now!
Hakuji, for one, has never met anyone with anything like it. So definitely hard to miss.. Along with this, there was a slight stubble on the man's chin and his eyes were the same as his hair, a fiery blaze. Did this man have a fixation with anything the color of fire? His hair was the color of fire, his eyes were the color of fire, and his yukata was also red!
Hakuji didn't understand the appeal..
"You read my note?" Fireball asked, and Hakuji glared at him in return.
This man was the one who had knocked Hakuji out, he was the one that kidnapped him and brought him here, he was the one who stopped.. Who stopped Hakuji from killing those weaklings for taking away Keizo and Koyuki. Hakuji made a move to stand up, but he was pushed back down by Fireball's hand. When did he move beside Hakuji?
"Sit." he demanded, Hakuji didn't want to. He guessed Fireball understood that by the way his hand stayed on Hakuji's shoulder.
"Who are you?" Hakuji asked, pushing Fireball's hand off his shoulder before leaning forward.
"Answer me first," Fireball crouched beside Hakuji, leveling with his current size. It made Hakuji feel small. "do you believe revenge is a good thing?"
Hakuji stared for a second. He just had this debate with himself a moment ago.
Revenge, the concept of getting back at someone for what they've done to you or someone else. Was committing revenge a good thing? No. Did Hakuji still want to do it? Yes.
Hakuji knew that getting back at someone wasn't wasn't healthy or good at all. He knew killing those people would do no good upon Keizo and Koyuki's deaths, all the good it would do is potentially save someone else's life.. But that wasn't why Hakuji was doing it.
Hakuji wanted to pursue it, not for the potential to save someone, not purely for the vengeance of Koyuki and Keizo.. Purely, Hakuji was still doing this for them. However, Hakuji was also doing this for himself. For his own satisfaction. He had stated so multiple times.
Hakuji had nothing else, that Dojo had taken everything from him. They took his master, they took his wife, they would've soon taken the Dojo too since Keizo was now dead. Hakuji had nothing. He was alone. He was wandering once again. So the only thing Hakuji could do was get revenge. The only thing that could satisfy him was revenge. The only thing that he could for Koyuki and Keizo, was get revenge..
He wanted a form of allevation.
"No," Hakuji finally responded, and Fireball raised an eyebrow at his answer. Hakuji continued. "but that doesn't mean I won't do it." Fireball stared at him solemnly.
"Well get the thought out of your mind kid." Hakuji wanted to make a snarky response to that, but his thoughts were cut off when he was grabbed by the hair and pulled closer to Fireball, wincing. "I brought you here to keep you from doing that and I don't plan to fail." reflexively, Hakuji went to punch the man in the face. Before he could do so, however, Fireball let go and backed off before his fist could collide. He was now standing once again.
"It's good that you know revenge is bad, at least I don't have to explain that to you." Fireball scoffed, annoyed at Hakuji.
"So Hakuji,"
Fireball knew his name?
"it's not worth it. If you know revenge isn't good, then why proceed with it?"
Wasn't it obvious?
"It's the only thing I can do." he smirked, looking up at the now standing man. "I have nothing else! They killed them, they poisoned them!" he shook the covers off of his legs and stood up to meet Fireball on his feet. Hakuji probably looked hysterical right now, like a deranged criminal waiting to pounce. He was a man with nothing else anymore, so he's going to kill the people who took everything away. When you put it in that light, was it truly bad? It's just karma.
"So what's a little pay back?" Hakuji found his hands forming a fist once again. Nails digging themselves into Hakuji's skin to keep him grounded using pain. Fireball's face didn't change, actually, he was even more annoyed.. Good.
"You plan to kill them, would that make you any better then they are?" Fireball argued, Hakuji saw no point.
"I don't care." Hakuji bit back.
Fireball tsked at that.
"If you fight all of them, you might die."
Another useless statement.
"I don't care!" he shouted back.
"Wouldn't they want you to live and make them proud?"
Hakuji blinked, eyebrows furrowing in response.
What did Fireball know about Koyuki and Keizo? What did he know about his father?
Hakuji was just about to punch him when the memory shot up from the back of his mind.
"Live a fulfilling life," the words rang in his head, the letter his father had given him. He had forgotten, but it didn't matter now. Right?
"If it's earned by dishonest means I don't-" Hakuji felt his eyes widening.
He had completely forgotten exactly why his father died. He forgot why his father hung himself in their house that day. He forgot how those were his father's last words.. Live a life. Live a life without dishonesty and worry. Live a happy and fulfilling life without him.. Look how far he's gotten without you father.
Hakuji bit the inside of his cheek, his canines pressed against the mark from earlier. The heartbreak made him shake. He should cry, he wanted to cry, he wanted to cry in their arms and beg for forgiveness.
Forgiveness for forgetting. Forgiveness for attempting to use his master's style, which was originally made to protect the weak, to hurt others. Forgiveness for breaking his promise to Koyuki and letting her die without him. Forgiveness for engaging his father's suicide because of his actions that brought his father sorrow. Forgiveness for almost doing it again..
He felt something wet slide down his face and his mind processed that it was tears. Hakuji was crying, he was vulnerable and weak in front of Fireball. He felt naked, revealed and helpless as the tears kept falling from his eyes.. But Hakuji didn't care, much like before. He didn't care as his tears welled up, he didn't care as his breath shrilled from despair, he didn't care that he was defenseless in front of someone he hated..
He just wanted to apologize right now.
He wanted to tell them how sorry he was, he wanted to see them and hug them for one last time. He wanted all of it, but he knew he didn't deserve it..
Through his blurry vision, Hakuji could make out Fireball moving. Soon enough, Hakuji felt himself being pulled forward and arms wrapping around him in an embrace, a hug.
Fireball was hugging Hakuji and Hakuji couldn't understand why. He had literally just annoyed the shit out of this man and had tried to contradict everything he said.
Why? Why was he being so nice?
Fireball didn't have to take Hakuji in, in fact, he could've left him stranded on the streets. With Hakuji's sense of direction, he would've died and there would still be no causalities. Fireball was being nice and Hakuji couldn't comprehend it. Why?
It was just like Keizo.
Keizo could've put Hakuji in jail, Keizo could've not taken Hakuji in at all, yet his master still did. He remembered in the past asking the same thing. Why? Why was Keizo such a kind person? He never ended up finding the answer, he just too blinding. He was so pure and Hakuji got swept up in it that it left him, a demon, docile. Would it be there same?
Is this another chance that Hakuji didn't deserve?
He couldn't take it, he doesn't deserve it, he..
"Live a fufilling life." it echoed in his brain. He still didn't deserve it, but it was being handed to him like candy. He felt bad. He felt horrible. He felt selfish..
But it was still another chance. A chance given to him. He didn't know what Fireball wanted, he didn't know what this other chance was, but he was going to take it. For the sake of trying to save at least one broken promise..
Soon after, Hakuji cried himself to sleep in Fireball's arms.