Chapter Text
The captains voice over the loudspeaker was enough to pull me from my downward spiral and get my adrenaline pumping. Slowly and quietly JJ, Kie and I slid out the small container window. We could see crew members moving towards the hull.
“Alright split up.” JJ whispered as we reached the stairs below the boat. “Kie go see if you can find the lifeboat. Once they’re in the hull Roe and I will lock them inside.”
“Sounds good, I’ll see if I can find John B and Sarah.” Kie nodded.
“Then all we need is the cross,” I stated. “Once we get it loaded, we are outta here.”
“Let’s roll.” JJ said and I followed him down to the hull. Quietly we hid around the corner to the entrance and listened to the crew as the slowly made their way down. Mentally I started counting each crew member by their footsteps.
“Hey what the hell is this all about?” I heard one of them ask.
“This doesn’t have anything to do with that stowaway does it boss?” Another asked.
“Or that girl that got out?” My heart started beating quickly as I realized they were talking about me. I turned and looked at JJ.
“Guess we’ll find out.” I heard the first man respond as they entered into the hull.
“How many?” JJ whispered and I closed my eyes listening the footsteps. Slowly I held up my fingers indicating three but continued to add digits as more crew entered into the hull.
“Where are we going?” I heard Wheeze asked as she and a few others made it down. Opening my eyes, I watched JJ as he clenched his jaw. “And where’s dad?”
“I don’t know Wheeze.” Rose said, she sounded anxious and unsure. I looked around the corner just as they passed by where I hid. I could make out both women and behind them was Rafe. Turning back around I closed my eyes. I was not ready to see or deal with him. Once I hear the footsteps stop I let out the breath I hadn’t realize I was holding and looked at JJ.
“That’s everyone.” I said quietly.
“Except your dad… and Ward.” JJ responded. Chewing my lip, I considered it looking around the opening then back at JJ.
“We can’t wait Jay.” I sighed. “We’ll deal with them if we have to later.” He seemed to want to argue but rolled his eyes and nodded his head towards the hull. Taking the cue, I quickly stepped over the frame and quickly moved to the hull door. Working to shut it, I planted my feet trying to move the heavy metal. JJ came behind me to help and just as we got it shut, we could hear yelling on the other side and the door shifted forward as the mend on the other side started pushing back. We struggled to get the door locked but finally there was enough give that the door latched and JJ was able to place the lock.
“There’s another door.” JJ said quickly after we finally latched the lock. With out any hesitation he moved away and I followed him to the smaller door at the other end. We got to it quickly before the crew on the other side and were able to slam it shut. Hearing the yelling on the other side I stepped back and smiled at JJ giving him a high five before he wrapped me into a hug.
“Let’s do this shit!” he exclaimed excitedly. I couldn’t help but share the excitement as he pulled me along with him as we moved to the lower cargo hold. Slowly we moved to a large crate in the center of the room. Pulling the tarp away from the golden cross, I ran my fingers over the engravings and smiled looking up at JJ.
“Home free.” I stated, just as the doors above our head opened letting in the sun. Squinting against the light I looked up to see Pope standing at the edge. Laughing I clapped my hands.
“Whoo!!!” JJ yelled before pulling me to his side. “That’s what I’m talking about, Let’s Go!”
“The time where people do shit to us and we just sit back and take it is over!” Pope called pumping his fist in the air.
“That’s my boy!” JJ agreed. “Let’s get this done, baby!”
“Let’s do it!” I nodded stepping away grabbing the harness and ropes around the crate. “Let’s tie it up!” I stated passing a line to JJ. By the time we got the cross situated and harnessed the crane hook was slowly dropping down the cargo hold. JJ reached out and grabbed it hooking it to the loop at the center of the cross.
“Okay go for it Pope!” I yelled as JJ and I stepped back. JJ had a towline in his hand to help stabilize the cross as it was slowly lifted. “Go slowly.”
“Bring her to the middle.” JJ called as the cross left the crate it was in and was suspended in the air. Unfortunately, Pope moved the crane too much and the cross was moved fast and away from us taking JJ with it.
“Easy Pope!” I exclaimed as JJ picked himself up. “That was not the middle!”
“Sorry my bad!” I heard a muffled apology coming from above. Rolling my eyes I watched as the cross continued up.
“Hey!” Cleo called looking up at Pope. “Send it up Pope you got it.” Slowly but surely the cross was raised up and the towrope reached its end and JJ let it go. Putting my hand up to shield my eyes I watched the gold sparkle against the sun.
“There it is.” JJ said beside me.
“Come on Jay, let’s go find Kie and John B and get the hell off this freaking boat.”
“Yeah, let’s go.” He nodded following me as we made our way to the deck. Holding onto both railings, I pulled myself up and looked over my shoulder at JJ as he followed me. As I made it to the opening and came onto the deck a hand grabbed a handful of my hair pulling backwards and slamming me hard into the wall beside the door. Holding my hair, I looked up at my father who was wild with rage.
“Little Bitch, do you know the trouble you caused.” He seethed one hand still holding my hair the other with a gun resting close to the side of my head. “Why couldn’t you ever just do what you were told?”
“Get off of her!” I heard JJ yell and he pulled my father’s shoulder back hard. Surprised, my hair was released. He turned to JJ just as my boyfriend socked him with a right hook. Through my time with the Pogues and as JJ’s friend, I have made a point to keep JJ and my dad away from each other. I knew how my dad felt about the lower class and I was sure JJ was going to lose it if he ever came across him. I was right. My dad stumbled holding onto the railing and touching his lip with the hand still holding the gun. Looking up at JJ he started to chuckle.
“You must be the one sleeping with my slut of a daughter…” my father said but he wasn’t able to say anything else before JJ tackled him to the floor of the deck. The gun went sliding across the ground. Dropping to my knees I moved forward towards the gun, but a hand yanked my ankle back and forced me around. My dad was over top of me and his hands were around my neck squeezing with no mercy. I wasn’t sure what happened to JJ, but I was slowly losing my battle. Trying to kick him and scratch at his arms, he just glared down at me.
An arm came around the back of my dad and put him in a head lock yanking him back. He tried to keep his hands gripped on my neck but eventually lost its grip. His nails dug into my neck as JJ pulled him back. Coughing I held onto my neck pulling myself back, so I was leaning on the rail. Unfortunately, when JJ pulled my dad back, he lost his footing, and my father got the upper hand. He had JJ by the front of his shirt and laid his fist into him. Pushing any pain, I felt away I pulled myself up and grabbed his fist as he pulled back and held on. As he tried to pull it forward, I used all my strength to hold it, but he was stronger than me and easily tossed me to the ground behind him.
Hitting the deck hard my head cracked against the floor, and I had to blink to clear the stars from my vision. Lifting myself up I caught sight of the gun only inches from me. Without hesitation I picked it up. The metal was cold and heavy in my palm. I knew enough about guns to know how to chamber it, how to hold and how to shoot it but I had never done it.
Cocking the gun back it made an audible click and I saw my dad pause dropping JJ and turning towards me. I was standing, gun in hand pointing at him.
“What do you plan to do with that?” my dad chuckled using the back of his hand to wipe blood from under his nose. “You think you can finally stand up to me huh?”
“I’m leaving this fucking boat.” I stated firmly.
“You think so?” he questioned taking a step forward.
“You are pathetic, you can’t stand the fact that I don’t need you…”
“So you think you know what life is like now? You know everything?”
“I know that I will live longer without you.” I said through clenched teeth. JJ was rolling and on his hands and knees now spitting blood to the deck. My dad made another step forward and I stepped back shaking my head. “Don’t.”
“You aren’t going to shoot me.” he said firmly. Any other situation he may have been right, I had been shot at, watched someone else be shot, been grazed by a bullet but I hadn’t shot a gun, let alone shot someone. But here in this moment he was still telling me what to do like he owned me, and I knew if I didn’t do something I wouldn’t be making it off the boat. As he smirked and took another step, I pulled the trigger.
The bang was loud and my ears were ringing. The vibration from the gun I could feel up to my elbow. The gun was still held pointed at the man in front of me. His smug look turned slowly and he staggered backwards. Eyes wide he looked down at his hip. Blood was staining the top of his shirt and slowly he moved his hand to it staggering more until he had to grab the railing and slumped to the ground. Tears filled my eyes as I watch my father hold his side and my hands started shaking. I still hadn’t dropped the gun when JJ moved around to my side. His hand came on top of mine and pushed them down so the gun was now pointed at the deck. Carefully he pulled the gun lightly from my hand with one of his the other firmly held my hand.
Shuffling toward the rail he tossed the gun over the edge and then came back towards me, stepping in front of me so the view of my dad was blocked. Looking up at him, there was a bruise on the side of his face, his lip was split and the was a cut over his eyebrow. Adrenaline still pumping, hands shaking I reached up and touched the bruise scowling.
“I’m okay.” He whispered pulling my hand away. “Are you… okay?” I wasn’t sure how to answer. My lips trembled and the tears finally spilled down my cheeks.
“I just shot my dad.” I said quietly. His thumb brushed my cheek and he nodded.
“I know baby.” He responded pulling me forward to put his lips on my forehead. Placing his hands on either side of my face, he pulled me back so I was look at him. His eyes were soft and he tried to give me a comforting small smile. “Let’s get outta here.” I nodded and we moved away.
“Rowyn get back here!” my father yelled and I closed my eyes. JJ’s hand was on my back pushing me forward. My father yelled my name one more time but I ignored him continuing towards the boats bow. Once far enough away we started to move quicker and kept peaking around each doorframe.
“I don’t see him.” JJ stated as we rounded a corner.
“Jay!” I said to him frozen in front of him staring at a man that had just come down the steps from the deck above us. In his hand was a machete and he looked less then pleased to see us.
“Of course.” Eberhimi stated lifting the machete and adjusting his grip on is as he took a fighting stance. JJ quickly moved in front of me. “Get on your knees.”
“Yeah…” JJ stated shaking his hand putting his hands up as the man swung at him. “That’s not going to happen.” I watched as JJ ducked and spun the guy into the metal of the boat. Moving to help the small window beside them was already open and I swung it into our attackers head. The man dropped and JJ backed away keeping his eyes on him.
“Where’s John B?” he asked. Touching his shoulder, I moved away and towards the back railing leaning over.
“John B!” I yelled looking around. No one was in sight. Looking behind me then back over the other side. “Kie!” When I turned back around the angry man was pulling him self and coming at JJ machete high over his head. JJ was quick to duck but the man took the temporary movement and knocked him down. He fell hard and his head hit the railing hard. I quickly turned hoping to see anyone of our friends, but the frantic yell from JJ made me turn.
Eberhimi was already coming at me. Stepping forward to meet his attack I ducked before I grabbed his machete wielding arm before kicking at his knee. He was stronger than me and his elbow caught me in the side of the face causing me to stumble back. I stayed on me feet as he swung again and I was able to dodge the weapon but my slow response left me with a gash in my upper arm where the machete made contact. Yelling I fell to one knee, my injured arm placed firmly on the deck my other hand holding the other. JJ was already up and had his arm around the mans neck the other holding the machete arm up high keeping it from coming down on me.
“Rowyn Go!” he said through clenched teeth, but I didn’t have time to answer. Eberhimi was stronger than him. I stood hoping to help just as JJ was elbowed in the head and stumbled back. The captain didn’t waste time swinging the weapon wildly and as I ducked, JJ was still dazed from a few seconds earlier and the back of the machete hit him square in the side of the head.
I felt my heart stop as he fell backwards over the side of the ship, and I felt the breath leave my lungs as I heard the splash. I couldn’t process what just happened, I was seeing red as the man seem pleased looking absently at the spot JJ had just been standing. Angry I yelled and threw my body into him throwing him off balance and onto his back, machete flying from his hand. His surprise gave me enough of an opening to use the right hook JJ had taught me. Feeling the sting of his nose to my knuckles and got up and ran to the side of the boat leaning over.
“JJ!!!” I yelled panic consuming me as I saw the body face down unmoving. Without thinking I was lifting myself up on the rail and jumping. My stomach flipped as I fell and I tried to keep my feet as straight as I could before I hit the water. The water stung as I broke the surface. Salt water washed over the large cut on my arm and small ones that littered my knees and face, but it was enough to shock me out of any daze I was in. Kicking to the surface I gasped for air and swam to JJs unmoving figure.
Reaching him I groaned rolling him, so his face was up.
“JJ.” I said treading water, his head resting on my shoulder as I kept us afloat. “Come on baby wake up.” I pleaded realizing I was crying, my tears and the sea water mixed as I continued to try and get him to make some kind of movement, noise, anything.
My legs were burning and my voice had gone horse for trying to get JJ to wake up. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep us both above water, but I was going to keep fighting until my legs couldn’t move anymore.
“Please.” I whispered my lips close to his ear. “Please don’t leave.”
“Come on Jay I need you.” I stated, and with the little voice and energy I had left I started doing the only thing I had left, I cried for help. “JOHN B! KIE! HELP!.... JOHN B.!” My ears picked up on a small noise, but I brushed it off believing it to be water in my ears. It wasn’t until I saw the small boat round the large freighter the I let out a cry of hope. I could hear muffled cries for both JJ and myself.
“Oh My God!” I heard Pope say as they saw us.
“No, no, no, no, no.” John B said as he pulled the lifeboat around us.
“Come on.” Pope said as him and Kie leaned forward.
“We got you Rowyn.” Kie said as I struggled to push JJ up.
“Grab him.” I said weakly as my head went under for a second. Coming up for air I coughed just as John B reached over and grabbed his best friend and lifted. Once JJ was free of my embrace Pope and Kie each grabbed an arm and lifted me up. Out of breath and exhausted I pulled out of their grasp and crawled over to JJ was leaning up against the side of the lifeboat and still unconscious. I wasn’t aware of anything else other than my hands on JJ’s face begging him to wake up.
John B started steering the boat away from the freighter when the motor sputtered and the boat stopped moving. Peeling my eyes away from JJ I looked up at John B who was in a panic.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Why aren’t we moving?” Sarah asked and it was the first time my brain fully comprehended that she was with us again.
“We have to go!”
“We’re stalling out!” John B explained trying to start the boat motor. I looked from him up to the freighter and saw a figure on the deck.
“Guys.” I said catching all their attention.
“We’re sitting ducks!” Pope stated.
“We gotta go!” Kie added. I pulled myself away from the panic to focus on JJ tapping his cheek. The chaos continued until the motor finally roared to life and John B quickly pulled away and the freighter became smaller.
“Please wake up.” I cried with no response.
“Wake up.” John B said putting his hand on his shoulder while still holding the throttle on the boat.
“You gotta wake up.”
“He’s not breathing.” Pope stated and I looked up eyes wide. Looking around I knew I had to think quick.
“Help me lay him down.” I sniffed and Pope came around and we slid JJ down, so he was on his back. Kie, Cleo and Sarah moved to sit on the edge of the boat and Pope was kneeling on the other side. I wasn’t waiting, leaning my ear down to his chest and then putting my hand under his nose I confirmed there was no air flowing. I couldn’t panic, not yet, pinching his nose and opening his mouth I blew air into his lungs, once then again sitting back waiting. After I saw no response, I did it again.
“Please don’t go.” I whispered waiting tears filled my eyes as I started to lose hope.
“Come on buddy,” John B said, he had switched places with Pope and was kneeling across from me. His palm rested on his friend’s chest rubbing, trying to prompt a response. Looking up I locked eyes with John B. Neither of us were willing to give up. Leaning over again I gave JJ two more breaths. Waiting 30 seconds I leaned down to do another when JJ started choking up water.
As he coughed John B and I rolled him to his side my hand on his back rubbing it.
“That’s it, there you go cough it out.” John B started laughing relieved.
“Hey buddy.” Pope stated once the coughing stopped and JJ rolled over only to find me holding him. He looked confused and unsure as he pushed himself up, his back leaning on me as he looked around the boat. “Welcome back to the land of the living dude.”
I knew it was supposed to lighten the mood but I was still shaking with the realization of how close it had been. JJ still hadn’t said anything. leaning on the edge of the lifeboat I ran my hand up his arm and he looked up at me with a small scowl be for looking back at the others.
“Sup.” He said. One word, but in that one word it told us that he was still here and still JJ. There was a collective laugh of relief from everyone. Lightly I brushed my fingers up to the side of his face and to his hair line. His blonde locks had a distinct pink and red tinge from blood. Feeling a tab on my shoulder I looked over to see John B handing me a small cloth, giving him a grateful nod.
“Just always looking for attention huh.” John B said lightly.
“Whatever it takes.” JJ answered softly lifting his hand up to touch the side of his head. I swatted his hand away and he scowled before wincing as I placed the cloth to his head. “What the hell happened?”
“The blunt end of a machete.” I answered. Turning to look up at me his eyebrows pinched together before raising turning to Pope and then John B.
“A machete?”
“Don’t get too excited.” I rolled my eyes putting a little more pressure on his head then I intended. “It was the blunt end.”
“Next time duck.” Cleo said which seemed to get a chuckle from JJ.
“Yeah, I’ll try to remember that next time.” JJ responded and I just shook my head.
“Let’s not plan a next time.” I said with a sigh forcing me eyes away from JJ I noticed both Pope and John B looking out at the freighter slowly becoming smaller in the distance. I could make out the glimmer of gold being hauled over the side. “Is that…”
“This shit ain’t over.” Pope nodded.
“No, it ain’t.” John B agreed sheer determination written on his face. The trek to the closest land mass was made with small conversation. I continued to hold the cloth to JJ’s head, who was content to joke and laugh with Pope and John B, but I was lost in thought. I knew I was uncharacteristically quietly, Sarah and Kie tried to include me in their conversation, but my adrenaline was declining and my brain was on overdrive. There had been so much in the last two days that had happened it was hard to wrap my head around.
Pulling up to the beach Pope and John B jumped out first followed by JJ who kept a hand on the lifeboat to keep from stumbling one hand still on the side of his head.
“Rowyn why don’t you let me take a look at that while they pull the boat up.” Sarah said eyeing my arm. I scowled and looked down. I had completely forgot about the gash to be honest, but now that I was look at it I could see the ugly mark and the blood that was lightly running over my arm and the pink that had stained my skin.
“Uh…” I stumbled over the words but nodded looking back at JJ who was looking at me concerned before helping John B and Pope pull the boat further out of the water.
“What happened?” Sarah asked lightly dabbing at the area around the wound. We had found a first aid kit in the lifeboat and had already used some of the material for JJ.
“Same machete that got JJ.” I answered.
“and what about here?” One of her hands lightly traced the bruise forming around my neck.
“Dad.” I stated simply, she stopped wrapping my arm and looked up eyes wide.
“You’re dad?”
“Yeah, him and Ward were working together.” I saw her wince when I used her father’s name and I scowled wondering what had happened before she got to the lifeboat.
“I had no idea… I’m so…”
“You didn’t do anything.” I said softly touching her hand. She looked up at me and I smiled. She reciprocated the smile and then finished tying the wrap around my arm.
“Come on boys!” John B yelled and I looked over my shoulder as the boys hauled our only means of transportation onto the shore. “That’s good.”
“Good Job guys!” Sarah called. Moving to the opposite side I found a seat at the base of a tree and leaned my head against it.
“Whoa,” I heard JJ say as they moved towards us and I watched him carefully as he slowly walked over to me.
“JJ you alright buddy?” John B asked concerned.
“Yeah. Still a little dizzy.” He said squinting his eyes as he touched his head again. “Okay so anyone know where we’re at?”
“Deserted beach, unknown island.” Pope answered and I rolled my eyes. JJ stood behind me arm on the tree.
“That would be a no.” I said with a sigh.
“Plan A huh Pope? Went well.” I could hear the sarcasm in his voice.
“This is the lowest we can go.” Pope stated and I looked out at the water thinking back to when John B had said that to me the first time at the Chateau. “We literally have nothing else to lose. The cross… gone.”
“The gold…. Gone.” Sarah added.
“All civilization…” I added.
“Gone.” Kie finished and I smiled at her.
“Damn, seriously, if we had a nickel for every time we got beat up.” JJ sighed taking his small pocketknife to the tree above me. “I’d say were at a dollar fifty.”
“That’s it?” I question looking up at him. “Damn I coulda sworn we had enough for at least a case of beer.”
“God I could use a beer right now.” Kie groaned, “but a buck fifty… its more than I got on me.”
“That somehow doesn’t make me feel better.” Sarah sighed.
“You know what… yeah, you’re right” John B stated catching all our attention. “But I mean we’ve had some good stuff happen, right?”
“Name something.” Pope tested.
“Um… Okay, yeah. Rowyn.” He said my name and I looked up at him squinting, placing my warms on my knees listening. “If you hadn’t met up with Cleo, we may not have found her… or you, and the boiler room, I mean if it hadn’t exploded, I wouldn’t have gotten away from Rafe. Which means I couldn’t have gotten Zodiac and gotten out of there.”
“Dude.” She rolled her eyes and chuckled. “Dat wasn’t luck, dat ting was gonna blow da second I stopped feeding it.”
Groaning and mumbling about stolen thunder he turned his attention to Pope. “Okay, Pope. You’re related to Denmark Tanny. That’s crazy.”
“And I lost all his inheritance.” Pope countered, I could see John B trying and ultimately losing.
“You know what?” he sighed standing up. “Guys this is it. This is the Pogue life. We are in the Caribbean. It’s our little slice of paradise. With my best friends, with my family and I mean I don’t know, I wouldn’t wanna do it with anyone else.
He was looking at all of us before looking out at the ocean. My eyes followed his gaze towards the rolling waves. “Look while you guys were complaining about every. Little. Thing… JJ? I was looking at those burly lefts.”
Looking up I watched as JJ smirked between his best friend and the ocean before nodding. “There’s some slabs out there.” He agreed.
“Just a few…. Rowyn?”
“The ocean and I are not on speaking terms.” I said dryly.
“Kie I know you wanna get out there.” John B tried.
“No boards.” She responded with a roll of the eyes.
“Well then we can bodysurf until we make some boards.”
“Lame” Kie responded.
“Pope? Come on man.” John B pleaded and Pope stood up looking out at the clear water and sandy beach.
“They do look pretty tasty.” Pope answered slapping hands with John B before looking at all of us with a shrug. “There’s nobody around. We can squat here for a bit… it kinda belongs to us now huh.”
“You got a point.” John B pointed out.
“Split it up amongst us.” Pope added.
“Poguelandia!” JJ said suddenly and I scowled up at him as he smirked nodding pleased with his statement. “I claim thee Poguelandia… I like the ring of it. I’m gonna make a flag. It’s gonna have chicken on it, with a coconut bra, smoking a J, in croc.”
With a collective laugh, we started moving to collect items for camp. I busied myself, avoiding JJ as much as could. I was happy he was feeling better, he was laughing and joking with everyone but every time I stopped working and started to think of what happened and what could have happened…
Eventually we had a fire going and the boys, someone had managed to get some fish… not sure how they managed that… and JJ had climbed a few trees for coconuts despite the pleading from everyone to not climb while concussed.
“So do we do watches?” Sarah asked as everyone started to feel the exhaustion of the day.
“Someone should probably stay up and keep an eye on the fire and the boat.” Pope agreed. Eyeing everyone. I watched the group.
“I’ll stay up.” I offered easily. I was tired, but I wouldn’t be able to sleep even if I tried. As tired as my body was my mind wasn’t.
“Roe…” John B started but I just shook my head.
“I’m not that tired, I don’t mind being up for a little bit.” I insisted.
“I can stay up with you.” JJ said and I rolled my eyes. He was sitting beside me his hand lazily running up and down my back.
“You need sleep, plus someone needs to be up to keep an eye on you.” I said looking at him with a soft smile. “It’ll be fine.” He looked like he wanted to argue but could see I wasn’t budging. Slowly one by one everyone found a place and crashed. I could hear soft snores around me and smiled to myself. Getting up slowly I brushed JJ’s hear away from the now scabbed cut on his head. The glow of the fire was dim as the embers slowly cooled but it was enough to still see the dark angry mark. Swallowing the lump in my throat I got up careful not to wake anyone. Moving away from the warmth of the fire I hugged myself until I was far enough to let out a soft and emotional sigh.
Tears that I thought I had controlled welled and I dropped to the sand hugging my knees to my chest. I wasn’t sure how long I was sitting there but I knew it was long past the time I told John B I would wake him for his watch.
“You gonna keep pretending your fine?” a voice behind me made me jump. I brushed a stray tear from my cheek and cleared my throat. “You were supposed to wake up John B a few hours ago.”
“I wouldn’t sleep anyway, no point in waking up someone who is.” I answered quietly. There was a sigh behind me, and I felt a warm body come behind me. JJ’s legs were on either side of me and he wrapped his arm were around me and pulling me to his chest. I felt his face bury in my hair.
“Please talk to me.” he whispered, and I felt any resolve I had shatter.
“Jay…” I let out a shaky breath.
“You have been avoiding me, don’t tell me you haven’t, I know picking firewood wasn’t that interesting or time consuming.” He groaned quietly pulling his head away. “What did I do?”
“Nothing.” I tried.
“Rowyn.”
“You almost left.” I said weakly. “There was a brief moment that I thought you were… that I didn’t think…every time I close my eyes or think I have a moment peace… the whole scene come rushing back.”
“Babe I’m not going anywhere.”
“I had to breath for you Jay, I never wanted to have to imagine what that would feel like let alone do and I had to do it, or you wouldn’t be sitting here right now.” I cried softly. “For a moment I had to figure out how I would go forward without you.”
“You realize how hypocritical you sound right now.” He whispered, his voice tight. Scowling I turned my head enough to see his profile looking out at the water. His jaw was clenched. “You have done the same thing to me. The drain, letting Rafe point a gun at you, the call at Heywards…”
“Jay…”
“I don’t think either one of us can avoid the other doing stupid shit. But Rowyn…” He paused to finally look down at me, the moon making his eyes sparkle against the darkness. “I will always protect you, be there for you, fight for you which means I will always fight to come back to you.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks and I search his eyes. Turning slightly in his arms I brought one hand up to lightly touch his cheek. “I love you JJ Maybank.” I said almost inaudibly. Before I let him respond I let my lips brush his softly. His hand came behind my head and pulled my closer.
“I love you too.” He replied after we broke apart. My eyes were closed, and my forehead rested on his, his hand brushed through my tangled hair until it rested on the back of my neck. Taking a breath, I took my head away from his and settled myself on his shoulder suddenly exhausted. His hand traced up my arm stopping at the bandage before continuing to my shoulder and then back down. With his heartbeat in one ear and the waves in the other, for the first time I found myself relax.
“She asleep?” I heard a voice behind JJ.
“I’m not sleeping.” I state but I kept myself placed in JJ’s lap and didn’t raise my head.
“Yeah okay.” I heard the sarcasm and the chuckle. It was John B. “You two go back to the fire, I got next watch.”
“You sure man?” JJ asked and I groaned as he started to move, and I was forced to get up.
“Yeah, you still look like shit, and she looks exhausted.” He nodded. “I’ll wake Pope up in a few.” Slowly making my way back to the camp everyone was still sleeping around the embers. I heard JJ and John B talking but didn’t stay to hear, sitting down I stared at the embers as the flickered until JJ sat beside me and pulled me down with him, so I was cushioned on his chest and his fingers trailed down my back.
“Let the adventure begin.” I say quietly, I could feel his check move as he laughed.