Chapter Text
It was the day of the last charity show they held after the earthquake. Yuzuru Hanyu was now a proud member of the senior skaters’ league, after finishing his first season as a senior and being the fourth and the youngest Japanese skater to ever hold the Junior World Champion title. That night, when he was finally able to rest his weary body, Yuzuru’s hands reached for his loyal ipod, gifted to him by his beloved coach; Nanami Abe. As long as he remembered he never managed to fall asleep in silence, with passing years, his mother’s soft singing left its place to various genres of music.
Even though the season was just over and he had some time before preparing for the next one, Yuzuru was known for his perfectionism, impatience and some other annoying characteristics which the author finds irrelevant to state during this piece of writing. For the last couple of years he wanted to listen to his coach’s views for his programs but ever since the disaster he knew he had to convey his boiling emotions under the well-mannered behavior and the perfect face carved by the gods.
Étude in D-sharp minor was the song on the loop for several days now, affecting Yuzuru in a complex way, making him feel as one with the ocean and the waves. The ocean within him was furious and vindictive, he was also angry at the ocean itself for the destruction it caused.
While listening to the song god knows how many times, an unbearable sensation rose in the middle of his chest, it was as if a bubble was formed within and now wanted to get out no matter what. At first he thought this was an asthma attack, right after he straighten up and about to call for his mom, a shiny light appeared out of his window and with a loud *thud*, he saw an object landing on their back garden. Surprisingly the sensation was now gone and he was able to breathe with ease.. According to the silence around the house, Yuzuru was the only one acknowledging the strange light and the sound. He rushed to the garden, wishing to run back to the house the moment he saw the unidentified object, now silently resting on their grass.
It was not bigger than a zamboni, it even resembled a zamboni if you’d put a glass dome over the driver’s part. Yuzuru cautiously approached it, still not sure if he was fully awake or still dreaming. As he was just about to touch the glass dome, a shiny piece of writing caught his attention, when looked carefully he gasped upon the realization that the writing read “Planet Hanyu”. The object looked like a spaceship, but a cute one and it was blue, more like shades of blue and also sparkling…with crystals.
Was it a gift from his sponsors? Was it the doing of an overly devoted fanyu? Was it a dream? What the hell was it???? With all of his unanswered questions, Yuzuru took a risk by convincing himself into thinking this is the right and the bravest thing to do and he therefore needed to do it as the youngest man of the household. He gently touched the glass dome, without the need to apply additional pressure, the glass slowly opened with steam coming from within. Yuzuru was now contemplating whether he ate something bad or did his cousin who was known for being the rebel in the family with a lively nightlife and inappropriate friendships, mixed something into his water during today’s big family dinner?
This contemplation was in vain, Yuzu took a deeeeep breath but it got stuck in his throat by the sight in front of him. There was him sitting in the spaceship, not “him” him but a mini version of him, maybe like his mushroom self, he wasn’t sure. Also the hair wasn’t mushroom but it was styled, apparently using gel? This small Yuzu was wearing a pretty costume, in shades of blue and crystals just like the outside of the ship. Small Yuzu was looking at him with an angry face as if he was asking “What the hell are you looking at, you moron?” Yuzuru gently placed his hands under Smolzuru’s arms (it was the name he came up with on that second) and lifted him gently. Smolzuru had a tag on his costume which said “Étude” and nothing else. Now Yuzuru was in shock, holding the baby (it could be a baby or a toddler) and they were just staring at each other. One second later he heard footsteps and hid the baby quickly behind his back and turned to see who was coming. It was no other than Yumi, his overly anxious mother who in fact was agape and looking at the scene in front of her eyes; Yuzuru wasn’t so successful in hiding the baby and now he had two small arms and legs dangling from his back as if he was a weird bug. Since all through his life he failed to hide anything from his mom, he gave up on this vain effort to hide the baby and slowly showed it to Yumi.
“I-I have no idea what it is! I just saw a light and heard a noise so I rushed back to the garden and it was here!”
Yumi cautiously approached both of them and when she saw the face of the smolzuru, a weird expression crossed her face which was a mix of both compassion and confusion. She slowly took the baby from Yuzuru’s arms in familiar movements and as soon as the baby was in her arms, smolzuru relaxed and snuggled his head to her neck as if he’d done it hundreds of times before.
“Yuzu…this baby…is you.”
“Eh?!”
Yuzu was sure he didn’t do anything that would result in him being a father of a baby or cloned. Seeing her mom with the baby in her arms was already terrifying and now Yumi was very affectionate to this weird alien-clone-creature (he was annoyed by his mother’s affection towards smolzuru therefore changed its name to clone creature).
Yumi realized the name tag on the baby, and gives Yuzuru a questioning look;
“Étude? Isn’t this the song you want to skate this season?”
“Y-yes”
Yuzuru was confused and yes he’s been confused a lot during these last minutes. Only he and Yumi knew this was the song of his new program for now and it wasn’t even certain, but looking at the clone creature, apparently somebody else knew about this and now playing a joke on them.
“I m-mean who would leave their baby in a sparkly costume and a knock off spaceship to a stranger’s garden?”
Thank god Yumi was smarter and unfortunately even though Yuzu took his father’s mathematical intelligence he didn’t have a chance to hold on to his mother’s practical one.
“Honey, I don’t think it’s somebody else’s baby… I think this little one belongs to you.”
“MOM! I’M A VIRGIN!”
Yumi smacked the back of his head, “I know that, it’s not what I meant! Look at him, he looks exactly like your toddler-self, also it says “Planet Hanyu” on the ship…What were you doing before this happened?”
Yuzu was both embarrassed and annoyed that his mom implied of course he is a virgin but he didn’t want to dwell on it now,
“Umm…I was listening to Étude and then there was a weird sensation on my chest. I even thought it was an asthma attack but then this happened and the sensation was gone.”
Yumi looked afar, deep in thought. The costume resembled Yuzu’s previous ones but more elaborate no doubt. Also she was aware what Étude meant to Yuzu and this baby’s manners was just how he perceived the ocean and the disaster, aloof and angry. She also knew there were rumors about her son getting lost in his own “Planet Hanyu” during off-season. The mechanical wheels in her head stopped turning instantly and in a moment of epiphany her eyes lit up,
“Yuzu! This is your program! This is Étude!! It’s weird, I know but this is the only explanation. I realized after the disaster your emotions became even more intense and you started introspecting even more. So somehow, gods know how, you managed to create and literally solidify your program!”
Yuzu didn’t know what he said afterwards because he fainted. Poor guy.
*
When he woke up in the morning, the house was silent and only the birds could be heard from a distance. He remembered the weird dream he had and chuckled imagining the little angry baby Yuzu looking at himself in a sparkly costume. After taking a quick shower he rushed to the kitchen, impatient to tell the dream to his mom .
“Moooom! You won’t beli-”
His words got stuck in his throat because in front of him, there were his mom, dad and sister having breakfast as well as a creepy clone creature looking at him with angry eyes from his mom’s lap. He felt like he was going to faint again but his dad rushed to hold him and helped him sit down on the couch.
“There there it’s okay Yuzu'' he patted Yuzu’s head gently, trying to calm him. It was working until Saya started laughing at his face;
“Who knew you were capable of this Yuzu?!! The innocent angel having an illegitimate child!”
Yuzu started crying “He-he’s not mine!!! I’m too young! I can’t be a father!”
“Saya stop mocking him!”
Yumi rushed with the clone creature in her lap, cuddling IT with an affectionate manner.
She tried to introduce him to Yuzu,
“Look Étude, this is Yuzu…he is kind of your father BUT in an unusual way”
Étude was looking with hesitative eyes at Yuzu, it was clear he was open to interaction but Yuzu’s frantic face was scaring him. Seeing Yumi’s death glare, Yuzu took Étude to his own lap and attempted to cuddle him. Even with a cold demeanor, Yuzu could feel how broken and sensitive Étude was feeling, the same as the song made him feel. He was surprised when Étude returned the hug and wrapped his little arms around Yuzu’s neck. The feeling was strange, Yuzu was hugging his inner child but it was actually not an inner child but more like a brain child. The feeling of panic left its place to compassion and in that moment Yuzu felt what Yumi meant by saying Étude belonged to him, this smolzuru (Yuzu went back to calling him smolzuru as they were on good terms now) was a product of his inner world and now he was here in his arms.
*
The days passed and the Hanyu family realized Étude didn’t have regular human needs such as eating, or going to the toilet. He was sleeping from time to time but it was probably because he enjoyed dreams rather than feeling sleepless. He would spend most of his time alone, pondering in the garden or just watching the outside. Étude took a special liking for Yumi, he would feel angry quickly when he was with Yuzu, whereas with Yumi, he seldom felt restless. Yuzu would find him sitting on his small chair, watching calmly as Yumi cooked or did chores around the house. Other times he would sit in her lap, and watch what she was watching or sleep while she read him a story. Yuzu wasn’t sure but it looked like Yumi understood Étude better than Yuzu did, maybe because she was aware of his resentment and Yuzu who also still felt resentful towards the disaster was having a hard time embracing Étude fully.
When it was time to talk about his new program with his coach, Nanami-san, His mother strictly warned him not to mention anything to anyone regarding Étude. Day by day as they got used to each other, the choreography came easier to Yuzu, he felt his moves were more fluid and his jumps came to him with ease. He tried to communicate with Étude but apparently he didn’t know how to talk and since he just liked hanging out alone he never tried to communicate with anyone in the house. One night, Yuzu woke up with a small movement on the bed in the middle of the night. When he turned on the bed light, to his surprise, he saw Étude trying to climb to his bed but falling every time. Yuzu gently picked him up and placed him on the bed , and Étude crawled under the duvet, snuggling Yuzu like a cat. It felt so out of character but Yuzu thought maybe smolzuru felt alone or afraid so far away from home (which Yuzu thought was Planet Hanyu). That night they slept together, cuddling. In the morning Étude woke up and jumped from the bed without even sparing a glance to Yuzu which -as a matter of fact, did hurt-.
*
Nanami-san, unaware of Étude’s presence, was in awe when Yuzuru suggested the costume design for his new program. Not just her but Shizuko Orihara was also in awe of the young boy’s design and was convinced he really is a genius. The design-which was drawn by his mother based on his descriptions- was a perfect depiction of the ocean, shades of blue from dark to light, flowy extra piece of fabric on the shoulder, being a perfect representation of the waves, sparkles and crystals added much needed drama to the costume. Since the decision phase cut short, they quickly moved on to choosing a fabric and starting the process. Even after the first rehearsal, when the costume wasn’t fully finished yet, it looked so ethereal on Yuzuru, one would think the model would be tailored by God himself. Orihara-san was surprised to see Yuzuru’s willingness to wear such a fancy costume unlike many other male skaters she worked with, but understood how in his mind artistry was a whole with his profound technical abilities.
*
After spending a lot of time together, Yuzuru and Étude finished this season by coming third in 2012 Worlds. Yuzu realized, as he gave Étude his own time, and tried to show affection in a non-suffocating manner, Étude started to spend more time with Yuzu than he did with Yumi. By noticing the difference in the smolzuru, Yuzu also noticed a shift in his feelings, acknowledging the destructive anger left it’s place to understanding and acceptance, letting him be aware of the balance in nature, that the ocean can both be destructive and constructive at the same time by giving so many gifts to people. In the act of acknowledging this change, Yuzu knew the reason why Étude also started to feel more at ease. Then he made a decision to have a new short program for the next season, since he believed Étude did what he had to do by showing Yuzu a new point of view and making it possible for him to come to terms with his feelings. Day by day Yuzuru realized Étude was doing a bit better regarding the matters of interaction even with Saya, who most of the time just poked Étude’s cheeks and tried to annoy him just like she was doing to Yuzu when he was a baby. She stopped doing it, when Étude bit her finger once and refused to let go until she promised not to do that again. It felt like somehow Étude was trying to protect Yuzu which made him start to love this smolzuru even more.